Special Delivery

By the time they arrived into Laketown and were given lodging (First from Bard, then by the Mayor after their presence was discovered and wasn't that strange) Bilbo's sniffles had turned into a full blown high-fevered cold, and Oin was at a lost on what to do, never mind the fact that he lost nearly all of his medical supplies to the Elves and river; but Hobbit anatomy was completely foreign to him. Desperate he asked Bard to find anyone who knew how to cure ailing Hobbits.

The results were a Took.

A heavily pregnant Took with her Dwarf husband trailing behind her.

"Oh, my dear cousin" the Took who introduced herself as Violet gasped when she was let into the room Bilbo had been moved to and saw the other Hobbit.

With surprising speed for someone her size, Violet rushed over to the bed pushing Thorin and Fili out the way, soft hands placed themselves on the other's Hobbit's forehead.

"Violet?" Bilbo said voice weak, eyes dazed.

"You're burning up"

"How—"

"Don't worry we'll get you better in no time"

"But why—"

"Hush now, and rest"

Exhausted Bilbo did just that.

"Now then Firth, I need you to get me hot water" she said to her husband.

Firth nodded and left the room, Violet then ushered Dwarves into the hallway, once Bilbo's door was closed she turned her attention to them.

"Now then, care to explain how this happened?" she asked, eyes narrowing, hands on her hips.

All the Dwarves shuffled nervously, they had quickly learned that hands on hips with Hobbits meant a scolding for them.

"Well?" Violet inquired, brow raised, foot tapping impatiently on the floor.

"Er" Bofur spoke up, "well you see"

The Dwarf then proceeded to explain everything that happened Mirkwood, the Elves, the barrel ride ("Which was rather fun until the Orcs and Elves appeared") and entering Laketown.

"You lot are idiots," Violet said after the dwarf was finished "I can't believe my cousin married you all"

"About that, are we—"

Thorin was interrupted by Firth coming back with a bowl of hot water, "Oh thank you dear"

The Hobbit took the bowl and went into the room, closing the door behind her and leaving the Dwarves in the hall.

"Ale?" Firth then suggested, "you're not getting into that room" he then said when the Company hesitated, "Violet is a beast when it comes to her patients, throw a jar at me once, luckily she didn't have her knife with her at the time"

Ale sounded like a brilliant idea.


"How did you meet your wife?" Balin asked.

All eyes turned to Firth, curious, from their brief meeting the She-Hobbit was not as intense at the other members of Bilbo's family they had met.

"Ah" Firth chuckled looking sheepish, "it's an interesting story, many years I was travelling to visit kin in the south, it was storming and I took shelter in a cave. Imagine my surprise when that cave turns out to be an entrance to Goblin Town"

"That happened to us too!" Kili exclaimed.

The young Dwarf was shushed; Firth tilted his head curiously before continuing his tale.

"I was taken to the Goblin King, who ordered me whipped then locked away, I was to be publicly tortured and killed the following night"

"How in all Mahal did you get away?" Dori asked, he remembered the fight through Goblin Town, it wasn't something he wanted to do again.

"That's where my wife comes in, the night I was to be killed I was lead to the Goblin's King's throne next to it was contraption I wish to never see again or wish on my enemies, and just as I was to be placed on the contraption a voice ranged out stopping everything. It was a Hobbit, just out of tweenhood –and to this day she still won't tell me how she got down there!- she told the King that he was about torture me all wrong! Can you believe that! Violet and the King spent hours discussing torture techniques,

I was sure the King was going to propose to her at one point with the way he swoon over all the vile suggestions she made. Finally Violet asked that the King to let me go as a favor for all the 'help' she had given him and he did. The both of us walked out the town. She took me to her home and I never left, some years later we were married"

The Company stared at him, mouths opened.

"Hobbits" Dwalin finally said, shaking his head.

"Well, I gave him the herbs, they should bring his fever down" Violet announced as she entered kitchen where the Dwarves had settled in, "I'll give him another dose in a couple of hours, now then I don't think we've been properly introduced"

Firth stood up from his seat and helped his wife to sit in the chair next to his, Violet sighed in relief at being off her aching feet and smiled at her husband; Firth smiled back placing his large hand on the round stomach. The Company took the moment to take in the couple, like all Hobbits; Violet was small with bare hairy feet, long blonde hair that curled and large green eyes that sparkled as she looked at her husband. Firth was tall for a Dwarf, muscular, a long black beard, a thick mane of hair, green eyes. His arms was covered in scars, along his face was a long scar; the scar went from the right forehead down the bridge of his nose to his left cheek.

"Your names?" Violet then inquired when she looked away from Firth.

The Dwarves introduced themselves.

"So Auntie Rose tells me that you intend to send my cousin into a Dragon's Den"

"He volunteered" Thorin said rather quickly.

Violet smiled, Thorin shivered.

"So invading his home and eating his entire pantry was voluntary?" the She-Hobbit asked.

"Er, well that was uh…" Bofur trailed off, not knowing how to explain their admittedly rude behavior the day they came to Bag Ends.

"Well that doesn't matter I suppose, as long as he's happy and you keep him safe as possible when you get in that mountain, I'd hate to have to give you lot a stern talking too"

The look that Firth gave them from over his wife's head told them that they'd wish it would be just a stern talking.

"We will try our best" Bofur finally said.

"That's all I ask, Oh! Grapes, do we have any garlic and lemon?"

Firth shrugged when he got curious and slightly disgusted looks, before helping his wife find what she was looking for.


Violet sighed as rolled (literally rolled) out of bed and waddled her way to the bathroom for the hundredth time tonight, after emptying her bladder, she made her way to her cousin's room. Normally one would be cautious of going into a sick person's room, especially one as heavily with child as she, but the thing about Hobbits (which she explained to her husband before they got here and to the Company afterwards) was that when they got pregnant, their bodies' became almost impenetrable to illnesses.

So there only one worry to be had at the moment and that was Bilbo.

Quietly she opened the door and entered.

Her first thought when she saw what was on the bed was "How are they not crushing him?" quickly followed by "Aw, how cute!".

At some point during the night the Company had crawled their way into Bilbo's bed, and to put it simply piled onto of him like kittens, even Thorin who Violet noted was in the middle with and on closer inspection, was clinging to her cousin like a favorite blanket.

Smiling Violet decided all was well and headed back to her room to her husband, who, once she was in bed, attached himself to her.

Morning came, and Bilbo was still feverish, thankfully it had gone down thanks to the herbs, unfortunately the low fever did not keep the Burglar from trying to escape.

"You are not getting out of this bed" Violet said sternly.

"But—"

"Bad enough that this town is cold and wet, I will not be having you're illness worsen because of you're stubbornness"

"I—"

"If I catch you even thinking of leaving, I will have Firth sit on you, understand?"

"But I—"

"Understand?"

Bilbo leaned over to look at watching audience with begging eyes; said audience looked away, having learned it was best to avoid eye-contact when in range of pouting and begging Hobbits.

"Yes" Bilbo finally sighed, when he realized he wasn't getting any help.

"Good, now eat you're soup" Violet said.

Ori never thought soup could be so passive-aggressively eaten.

Around noon, Bilbo's fever flared back up and seems to have gotten worse, putting the Company in quite a state, after using the last of her herbs she ask Firth to get her some more from the local shop that catered to nearly everything (she would gone herself, but her husband tended to get in a sulk when she went off by herself now a days). Firth nodded, gave her a kiss on cheek and promised to back as soon as possible before leaving with Bofur and Oin.

Minutes pass before a servant of the Mayor knocks on the door.

"I-I-I'm sorry t-t-to both-e-e-er you, but I've come w-w-w-ith a message from the M-M-Mayor, advising y-y-y-ou all to s-s-s-tay in the house" the servant stuttered fearfully when Dwalin answered the door and glared at him.

"Why?" Dwalin growled.

"B-B-Because, t-t-there l-l-looks t-to b-be a-a-a s-storm approaching"

Dwalin glanced up at the sky, but saw nothing but the usually dark clouds, but what did he know? He did not live here.

"A-A-A b-b-b-bell w-w-w-ill s-s-s-sound t-t-three times to s-s-signal all is clear" the servant then informed.

"Right, thanks" he then said gruffly before closing the door in the servant's face, "Storms a coming!" he then called, voice booming though out the house, gathering everyone (minus Bilbo who was still sleeping)

"Oh dear," Violet murmured.

"The Mayor wants us to stay inside until the all clear" Dwalin said.

"But what about Oin, Bofur and Firth? They're still out there" Ori said worriedly.

"They've no doubt taken shelter" Thorin reassured, though his face looked anything but.

After all the entire town was literally standing on a lake, and a storm would no doubt sink it, not only that but they weren't sure how long the storm will last, more time was taken from them getting to the gate, then there was Bilbo.

"I wouldn't worry too much" Balin said to him, "this town has been here for years, I'm sure by now they know how to handle a storm"

"How long to do think the storm will last?" Kili asked with a frown glancing at the stairs that lead to a sick Hobbit.

Above them, thunder boomed.

"Not long I hope" Balin said.


"You are defiantly you're father's child" Violet grunted when she was kicked.

Beside her, Balin chuckled.

"How long?" he then asked.

She and the Company were sitting in the living room, in front of the lit fireplace, outside the wind howled, curled up between Thorin and Dwalin underneath covers and Thorin's coat was Bilbo, fast asleep. Violet had allowed her cousin to moved downstairs, mostly for the Company's peace of mind and perhaps her own as well.

"Any day now"

"Boy or girl?"

"Girl"

"You sound so sure"

"Us Hobbits have a sense about this things, it's one of our many talents"

"You Hobbits seem to have many, especially you Tooks" Dori said with a slight shiver of fear.

"Ah yes, I heard you met them" Violet hummed, rubbing her stomach, "and Auntie Lily too I believe"

"Never thought I feel sorry for an Elf" Dwalin grumbled.

Violet giggled.

"Firth, told us how you two met" Fili then said.

"Ah yes that, it's an interesting story on my end, I—oh!"

All the Dwarves jumped at the sudden gasp.

"Oh!" Violet then said again, staring down at her stomach, "Um I think it maybe be time"

All the eyes looked at the Hobbit, eyes blank before they widen in panic.

"Or perhaps a false alarm" the Hobbit then said, when she didn't feel anything else.

"Thank Mahal" Dwalin mumbled, relieved.

Four minutes later Violet's water broke.


"What do we do!?"

As one all eyes turned to Thorin, Dori, and Gloin.

"Don't look at me lads, I wasn't allowed into the room when my Gimli was born" Gloin said.

"I barely remember Nori's birth and I was away when Ori was born" Dori said.

"Dis threw a frying pan at me and Frerin then literally kicked us out the room" Thorin simply said, "both times"

"Dis always did have a temper" Dwalin grinned.

"Makes you wonder how Father dealt with her" Fili snickered.

"Excuse me, but could someone kindly GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!" Violet all but shriek, it hadn't been so bad at first, then the real pain hit.

The Dwarves scrambled, Balin quickly taking charge, he himself didn't have any experience with childbirth, but he's seen enough on the road to have the idea of what to do.

"Fili get hot water, Kili lots of towels" he said, "Dwalin, keep her head elevated, everyone else just remain calm, Violet, you're doing very well keep breathing just like that"

"Please" Violet panted around another contraction, "s-s-someone's h-h-h-hand, I-I-I n-n-need p-p-please"

And Thorin, the majestic that he is, kneeled down and took her hand, not a moment later he was whimpering as he felt the bones in his hand break.

The Princes returned with the desired items, Kili glancing over at Bilbo, the Hobbit didn't even seem to have twitched. A small shriek had the youngest looking back at the other Hobbit.

"What do we do now?" his brother asked.

"I'm afraid my knowledge only goes this far" Balin said with a hopeless look.

"Oh Mahal!" Violet moaned in pain at another contraction, beside her Thorin cursed as his hand was crushed even further, "that's alright Balin" she then panted after it passed.

The Hobbit then shifted her legs until they were up and spread, Dori and Dwalin covered their youngers eyes when the She-Hobbit lifted her skirt.

"I need one of you to time my contractions" she said, "when it gets to five minutes tell me"

All eyes turned to Balin who sighed but kept count when the next contraction hit.


"Thorin" Violet said, hours into her labor.

"Yes"

The Dwarf had long since stopped his morning of his hand (especially after he been declined when he asked someone switched with him).

Thorin blinked when a rather large knife appeared in his vision, he stared at it wondering where the She-Hobbit was able to hid it before looking questionably at Violet.

"I want you to take this and shove it up my husband's arse!"

Wisely Thorin took the blade with his other hand and nodded, the King then looked over at Bifur, sitting cross-legged in front of the She-Hobbit staring intensively at Violet's…..lady parts, not once had the Dwarf moved or blinked since he traded spots with Balin sometime ago.

The King wasn't sure if the other Dwarf was oddly fascinated at what was going on down there or had somehow passed out from shock with his eyes opened and body upright.

Loud thunder booming had all of them jumping.

Violet gave a sharp grunt as she pushed, still curled up underneath the coat Bilbo slept on, they had checked earlier to see if the Hobbit was still alive, for only the dead could sleep through all the noise that was happening now.

Turning his attention back to the Hobbit that had mercilessly killed his hand, Thorin took note of how exhausted the Hobbit as she once again weakly pushed, patting her sweaty head with a handkerchief the King leaned over and craned his head to see the progress.

"Bofir" he then said.

Bofir grunted.

"Isn't that the head?"

Bofir nodded, eyes locked on said head

"Well then, go get it" Thorin then demanded, only for his eyes to widen in shock at the answer he got, "what do you mean it's stuck?!"

"Stuck?" Violet echoed lifting her head and staring wide-eyed at the Bofir still staring.

"What do we do?!"

Bofir suddenly stood and went into the kitchen.

"Where is he going?" Nori asked.

The Dwarf came back grinning, in his hand were salad spoons.

"Absolutely not!" Balin scolded when Bofir told them what they were for, "and besides, Bilbo and Violet use them!"

Bofir frowned.

"I have an idea" Dori then said as a memory of Nori's birth slowly started to come back.


Bilbo woke up to the sound of soft voices, and ringing bells moaning softly the Hobbit emerged from out of the warm furred coat, he started at said coat for a moment, wondering if he had somehow gaven into his desires and stole the thing.

"Oh, Bilbo"

Bilbo blinked and looked over at his cousin , surrounded by his company, her hair was in disarray and she looked like she hadn't slept in days though her eyes shined with joy and love. The sun that shined through the house gave her a kind of glow that looked other worldly, in her arms were a bundled that was making soft sounds.

"Did I miss anything?" Bilbo asked.

An hour and one story later, Bilbo sat there (rewrapped in Thorin's coat), stunned.

"And I didn't wake for any of this?" he asked.

"We've told you a thousand times, you sleep like the dead cousin" Violet giggled.

"I do not!" Bilbo protested half-heartily.

"There was that incident in Riven—"

"Finish that sentence Master Dori and I'll tell Firth where your hands had been"

Dori closed his mouth with a snap, true he had to get a bit…touchy with Violet's lady parts to get the babe out, and Dori was a sure Firth wouldn't be too upset about that, but it was probably in his best interest if it wasn't mentioned though.

"In fact if any of you mention the Rivendell I will tell Firth where all of your eyes have been"

No more mention of Rivendell was made.

Suddenly the door slammed opened.

"Violet!"

Bilbo giggled as he watched his Company get bulldozed over by Firth, the moment the tall Dwarf saw the little bundle in his wife's arms, his entire body melted. Smiling, eyes sparkling Violet handed the child to her husband before kissing him on the cheek.

"Say hello to your daughter my darling"


It took two more doses of the Herbal medicine before Violet gave Bilbo a full bill of health, no sooner had those words left her lips Thorin and Company were ready to depart (though with some reluctant, the little Sapphire was just so adorable!) .

"Be safe cousin"

Bilbo gave a soft smile as he hugged back his cousin tightly.

"I'll try my best" he said.

Violet smiled though it did nothing to hide the worry from her eyes, hugging her cousin once more the Took turned to the Dwarves who were talking with her husband, Sapphire happily asleep in her father's warm strong arms.

"As his husbands your duty is to my cousin back us safely, understand" she said.

"About that husbands bi—"

"I said do you understand" Violet repeated a gleam in her eyes

All of the Dwarves nodded furiously, Bilbo worried for a moment that their heads would fall off. After more goodbyes the Company headed to the main street where their boats and the town folks were waiting for them to ship off. Thorin suddenly paused before turning around and walked back to Firth, he pulled out a knife and handed it out to the other Dwarf.

"Your wife told me to shove this up your arse".


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