Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran, and there is evidence! In not one single episode or manga chapter do the twins make out! I am currently trying to persuade Bisco Hatori to do so, but she isn't budging, DAMNIT!
Hee… hee I'm gonna have a good time writing this, I can tell XD
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As Kaoru woke up normally to his normal bedroom on a normal Wednesday morning, he got the vibe that everything was completely normal… And that was how he knew something was off. He sat straight up in his bed and stayed like that with a suspicious glare before jerking his head both ways in half a second, seeing nothing. He licked his finger and stuck it in the air; Nada. He even leaned down on the bed again to check under it, and skim his fingers across the floor to make sure it was actually suitable to walk on. Finally, still thinking that something was wrong, he took a big whiff of air, and realized something.
Why do I smell permanent marker?
Quickly, he jumped out of bed and jogged to his bathroom to look in the mirror.
"Shit, of course." Kaoru muttered staring with an otherwise calm expression at his reflection that was untainted except for the thick black drawn on french mustache that had most likely been put on him while he had been sleeping. "DAMNIT HIKARU!!!!!!!!!" He finally exploded, throwing his own mini tantrum inside his bathroom.
Crouching down by the doorway outside the bedroom the teen heard his name being yelled finally and put a hand over his mouth to keep his own laughter down. He soon after started to hear various curse words being spewed out and he stood up dusting himself off and began to walk towards the kitchen satisfied.
Finally, when Kaoru calmed down he took a towel, drenched it in warm water and put it to just above his lip, scrubbing the marker relentlessly. It only succeeded in removing about half the ink, and smudging it around slightly. Kaoru sighed, realizing he would have to stoop to his box, meaning his brother had gotten what he wanted. He hated using the box, it made him feel like a loser but it was necessary for some jokes that were played on him. Besides, it wasn't like his older brother supplied this stuff for him, Kaoru doubted he even knew he had one, they barely even talked when they weren't screaming at each other. But he made sure he had everything, especially the essentials such as extra clean clothes, and a small first aid kit. He finally found it in the back of his connected closet; a big box with the words 'BACK-UP' in duck tape. Kaoru rummaged through it until he finally found some cover-up , and smiled in victory.
After applying the right amount of make up, the slightly younger twin used a moment to check to see if there were spots he had missed. When there were none, he smiled and left his room to go down to the dining room for breakfast.
Along his way, Kaoru smirked evilly. He loved the moments just after a practical joke had just been pulled on him, because after you have recovered from the initial shock, your mind goes reeling with different ideas of revenge. And Kaoru would be damned if his payback wasn't much MUCH sweeter than the original punk in the first place. He wouldn't allow it.
Kaoru wasn't surprised to see Hikaru already in the dining room, eating his breakfast happily. But, he decided not to give him the satisfaction of him blowing up - just yet - so he silently retrieved his breakfast as well and sat down, to start eating. Hikaru seemed to find this amusing and sat back in his chair, smirking at Kaoru who was now pretending to be deeply interested in his westernized meal.
"Gee Kaoru. Are you trying to grow a mustache?"
Kaoru's expression remained blank as he lifted his head to give his brother an icy stare. "You noticed? Well, I guess its just growing naturally. I tried to shave it because I just thought it looked repulsive. I see no signs of you growing one though? Huh, maybe I'm just maturing more than you." Kaoru shot back calmly while taking a bite of toast to cover his smirk. He perked up a little more at Hikaru's cheeks turn slightly pink in anger at the comment.
"Odd. It seems very un-natural seeing that I am in fact, the oldest." Hikaru practically hissed. At this Kaoru dropped his fork and stood up, leaning over the table towards Hikaru.
"Must you always bring that up?!" Kaoru seethed, baring his teeth at his brother. Hikaru stood up as well, glaring just as hard.
"Yes! Only because its true!"
"It may be true. But you're the childish one of the two of us!"
"I'm childish?!"
"HELL yes!"
"Just look at how you're acting right now Kaoru! Oh sooooo mature!" He yelled sarcastically.
"You started it!"
"Me?! No way! You started it!"
"Nuh-uh! It all started this morning when you put that mustache on me!"
"What?! That's bull-"
"BOYS!" Yuhuza yelled rubbing her temples in the doorway. The twins froze. "Enough! My goodness must you always insist of fighting every minute of every day?" She asked.
"Yes!" Both boys responded in unison, before glaring at each other. They hated when they did that. It made people think they were close.
Their mother sighed. "Just go on ahead to school, or you'll be late."
"Bye mom!"
"See you after school mom!" Both twins yelled as they ran out of the room to get their coats and bags and enter separate limos to take them to school.
--
They had the same classes but they didn't speak. They didn't look. They didn't acknowledge all together. When Hikaru and Kaoru were at home they fought. When they were at school they acted like the other didn't exist. If they ran into each other in the lunch line, it usually ended with a little showdown to see who would speak first so they wouldn't order the same lunch. Even if they wouldn't admit it, they were a lot alike and hated each similarity with a fiery burning passion. They both had their friends, who seemed to enjoy discussing the other's twin. Needless to say, this fact pissed the hell out of both of them.
"Why are you two not so close? It seems like you're so much like each other." Haruhi asked Kaoru from where she sat next to him at the lunch table. His grip on his pristine silver fork stiffened.
"I'm nothing like that gross asshole." He informed her through gritted teeth, as he stabbed his pork. A sweat drop formed on her forehead.
"Ne, Kao-chan you seem sad… do you want some of this cake?" Hunny offered kindly with Mori sitting protectively behind him.
"No thank you Hunny-sempai." Kaoru muttered, seeming very content in murdering his meat.
Meanwhile
"You two could be so close!" Tamaki exclaimed, frustrated.
"Just shut up will you?! It's not happening." Hikaru fumed.
"I mean… I guess I sort of get what Tamaki is saying. You two - when your not angry with each other - are very similar." Kasanoda observed, Hikaru only rolled his eyes in response to this.
"I'm observing that your very passionate with your denials to everything related to this topic Hikaru." Kyoya informed.
Hikaru put his head into his hands and groaned. "You're just wasting your time you guys. Look, even if I wanted us to be close - which I don't! We just don't… click. You know? Like good brothers or sisters should."
With Kaoru
Haruhi laughed at something the younger twin had said when Kurakano appeared at their table. Smiling sweetly she held up a large bag and heaved a large porcelain elephant from it. It looked extremely elegant in the details of the white, and blue, and beads on the fabric. The four teens stared at her blankly.
"Um… why do you have a porcelain elephant with you Kurakano?" Kaoru asked. The girl was panting softly from lugging the huge thing around, and she smiled even wider at him now.
"I made it." She told him. Of course! Kurakano was the 9th grade classes best artist.
"You made this? Kurakano this is amazing!" Haruhi said in awe to the mini sculpture. The girl made a face at her.
"This? This was just the back up. I already sent the competition one in and I saw a few flaws in this one so I've been looking for someone who wants to take it. Are any of you interested?"
Immediately an idea made its way into Kaoru's mind and his hand sprang up. "I'll take it!" He said. Kurakano beamed and sighed in relief.
"Oh thank you Kaoru! I'm glad I don't have to deal with this anymore." She told him before departing. Kaoru smirked. No, no Kurakano, thank you.
With Hikaru
"Hikaru… I know you aren't interested in Kaoru at all or anything… but do you have any idea why he has a mini elephant sculpture with him?" Tamaki said looking confusedly over at Kaoru's table. Hikaru's eyes furrowed as he turned around. Laughing at what he saw.
"Oh, for all I care it could be his slut. He never brings girls home with him anyways." Hikaru made note to leave out that he never brought home girls either, in fact, he was actually gay. But he got a few laughs out of the comment none the less so he had done his work well.
--
Hikaru slept in the nude. He had always done it, ever since when he was 10 and got a high fever and was too hot to sleep in anything, then had simply liked the feeling to much to start wearing clothes again. And, unfortunately for him, Kaoru was aware of this fact. This was why, on Thursday morning when Hikaru woke up, he was greeted with a cleaned out closet, and NOTHING to wear. Literally.
"KAORU! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PUT MY CLOTHES?!" Hikaru screamed. Kaoru, meanwhile, had been listening on the other side of the door and chuckled, removing himself from the entire floor his brother was on, just to be sure he wasn't murdered.
After a matter of time, when he was tired of searching in his room for any spare clothes and for once was rueful that he had such hard working maids, he saw the large porcelain elephant that Kaoru got the other day on his desk. Attached to it was a note.
To Hikaru:
I hope you don't mind. But I asked the maids if I could pick out your wardrobe for the day. As you can see… they agreed. I kind of think this elephant would actually look good on you. I like to think Kurakano made it especially for you. Why don't you try it out. Hope to see you in school today.
Kaoru :)
Hikaru fumed. He was going to kill him…
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Authors note: And…. that's where the first chapter ends. XD Sorry, but it shall get better from here on out! :D Hope to see you soon!
