Goodbye, for now.
Cliffhanger
Ichi/Ruki – a monologue by Rukia
I do not have time to say goodbye to your face, as always and as ever. You know that I'm not fond of saying it and if you dare try to stop me again from saying it, you'll hit your sorry ass of shame…
But, I do not mean to me rough on you right now. Not of all these times.
Because this time. This goodbye may be for good.
I have my reasons. And do not worry, Soul Society has nothing to do with it. Well, at least they don't have anything to do with it for now… But I am not returning to this world or to Soul Society either. I am leaving. I can't tell you where I'm going, or else there will be ass to kick and definitely it won't be mine. And trust me, I won't be there or won't be in the right mind to treat yours.
Ichigo, you can't follow.
For all times sakes! You can't follow.
Say you're always protected, say you're always under my wing…
Say what you want but you simply can't follow.
For just once, will you listen to me! Because the next time I see you under wraps, and I MEAN under wraps, with all that blood clinging to your orange hair, red blood blinding your tender amber eyes…
I'll never. I will never forgive myself.
This isn't about me anymore, nor Soul Society, nor hell, heaven or earth, whichever that matters. This is about you and me.
I am not running away from you, its just for your own good. And I will be too shamed to be myself if you do find out what I truly am. You will hate heaven for this, but this is what I really am. The next actions I shall take is not of which my heart wished, but of those pompous gods above me.
I am not myself anymore, Ichigo. And I don't want YOU to see that.
I beg you. Move on. There's another orange-haired angel standing beside you at all times. She will surely protect you. And when I am gone… you'll be stronger. Get stronger. See the world through my eyes.
And you'll meet her.
Not yet, not now. You will not understand what the hell she is (as I cannot comprehend her as well) until you realize that she and I have a connection. She'll stand beside you, fight with you… the same way I'll always did. And you'll find me in her, and when you realize that… You will feel as if I am never really gone.
I have to disappear for a while.
A long while.
Please, I beg you.
Don't follow me.
And don't make me another excuse to frown when I'm gone.
Smile for once.
Because that smile may be the only reason for me to live.
So here I say it. As I am still myself.
Goodbye. For now.
A/N: One of the possibly series of monologues by Bleach characters in preparation of one of my upcoming crossover fics between Bleach and Deathnote.
