Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7, nor do i claim to, and i dont even remember how i remember to do this. But guess what Yea, Romeo and Juliet did suck! But that wasnt what i was going to say, you impatient...FOOL... NOW LISTEN TOO ME..

no, i dont take medicine... NO MY DOCTOR HASENT EVEN SUGGESTED IT..yea, you better just go on the story..

Too bad i dont own ff7.. i wouldn't need money...and my Room wouldn't be 4 ft long...Do you actually read these? hahahaha, i know im a BAD man...

ok this is my first story, so dont kill me if it sucks. Now i got myself sad. '( Go away unless you wanna see me cry.

FF7: The Evil Martians!

"OH MY GOD! CLOUD! THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING!

RUN AWAY OR BE DISINIGRATED BY THEIR LASER PHASERS!

AAAHAHH!" Tifa screamed as loud as she can, blowing up the head of a local sailor.

"Umm, Tifa, you sorta, umm, blew up that guys head", Cloud said, waking up.

"Oops, i guess i did. I dunno", Tifa said.

"Never fear, You did not", the sailor replied as he regrew his head.

"Wow, howd you do that?" Tifa asked.

"I.. Dont...Know..." The sailor replied yet again, before the aliens from mars blew him up.

" I forgot, the aliens were still attacking", Tifa said.

Then they ran away to somewhere in the jungle.

"Hi Tifa And Cloud!", Yuffie yelled. "Why, Hello", Cloud said.

"Yes I too greet you," Said Red VII, before the aliens blew him up.

He then rematerialized in front of them.

Did i spell that right? Rematerialized. I dunno.What ever.

"Wowie, Howd you do that?i mean, comin to life in all" Yuffie said. "I.. dont...know... but somehow, this sailor REMATERIALIZED on my back" Red said. "GO DOGGY GO!" the sailor said. So they ran away and died.They did not REMATERIALIZE.

So barret got sad and ran away forever.

"YO YO YO homie, we gotta bust a cap in da aliens buttocks. U KNOW IT!", Vincent gangster said, before he blew up too. But little did we know, he really didnt die. He just exploded...

So now, yuffie, cloud, tifa, and cait sith ran away all the way too the Gold Saucer, where they took the Gold Saucer and started to kill aliens. "IM MELTING!" The aliens said before it exploded. "YAY" said all the little people. "Your welcome thank you" Tifa said, bowing her head, before all the people exploded.

"Man, why does that always happen?" Tifa Questioned.

Yuffie's head exploded after she heard Tifa talk. Then it grew back! Yay!

"Yay!" Said Yuffie with her new head.

Then, Cait Sith Started to explode, but only the toy part did. So, well, i guess he didnt actually explode...

So the kitty kat was very ugly and fat so he couldnt walk. So he jumped on clouds big sword. then he exploded and flew 5000 miles to Russia. "ARGH,"said cait Sith.

"GUYS, THE ALIENS ARE STILL ATTACKING! AHHH!" Tifa Screamed.

"hmmm, i didnt even know There was still a Russia.." Cloud pondered before he blew up.

"NOOOOOOOO CLOOOOUUUUDDD!" Tifa exclaimed, before cloud REMATERIALIZED.

"Wow, im alive! lets go kill something Tifa!" Cloud Said

"Straight... Up" Said a mysterious voice.

And that's chapter 1. i dunno. It's my first story so pleas R&R if you want another chapter. I accept constructive critiscism, but no flames pleas. THATS CHAPTER 1! yay!