n Incurable Sickness

A/N:

A one shot fic of Cagalli ad Athrun. I just thought of this fic after reading a certain novel that really got my attention. I'm really obsessed with the certain novel that I can not take it off my mind. I based the story according to one of the novel's scene but in a more different manner coz the novel was in the 1770 to 1850 (I think) and the time in Gundam seed is way far from that time so I made a large adjustment and put a little twist in the story so it will not be a sure copy of the one I've read. I just want to warn you that this fic may not reflect the character's attitude coz this is mainly based on the atmosphere with inthe novel, nevertheless please read and review : )


In Orb's hospital, the doctors are quite busy because an unexpected patient was brought to them. The patient was the representative of orb, who fainted during her meeting. She was rushed to hospital by her bodyguards, who are quite startled and worried of their representative's sudden unconsciousness.

After hearing the representative's condition, reporters and some other civillians started to crowd the hospital, wanting to know if the representative is alright and its current state. They crowded the whole place like there is no more space left for anyone to walk freely to its hallways. .

The doctors injected her with medicines and examined her twice or thrice, if there is any possibility of food poisoning or whatsoever. Thankfully, it was not due to this kind of things.

After hearing about the incident, Lacus and Kira rushed to the hospital and confirmed the representative's state to the doctor.


"Doc, how is Cagalli?" Kira asked worriedly as he stammered his words nervously.

Lacus, beside him, saw the uneasiness in Kira's actions. "Kira…" She looked at Kira. "Don't worry…I know she is safe." She said dearly as she looked at him. "Doctor, How is Cagalli's state." She said concernedly but calmly.

The doctor looked up his files. "Right now, she is still under observation; but, we could guarantee you that she is safe." He said passable as he looked up at his files about the representative's examination. "She is now confined in a room and resting." Before he could speak further; a knocking was heard at the door. "Who is it?" He asked to the one knocking at the door.

"Could I come in? I'm here for the representative's condition." The one knocking at the door replied.

The voice sounds familiar for the two. "Athrun?" The two looked at each other questionably.

"You seem to know this person." The doctor said to them. "Yes, you may come in." He directed to the one knocking.

Athrun opened the door and closed it gently after entering. Upon seeing, his fellow friends in the room, who are quite gloomy, he begun to sense that they were having a conversation about Cagalli's state.

He was coincidentally in Orb and was about to go back to Plants when he heard the news about the representative. He immediately rushed to the hospital hastily as soon as he heard the incident that took place.

"Lacus..Kira..." He said bothered as he looked at his two friends, who are quite frustrated.

"Athrun…" Lacus said concernedly, looking at Athrun's platonic face.

He frowned for a moment before he seats. "Hmm…" He seated on one of the chairs and faced the doctor with an expressionless face that neither show any form of emotion.

Lacus, who saw this, was frustated of his coldness. "Athrun..." Lacus muttered as she looked at Athrun worriedly.

The doctor coughed and continued with his explanation about the representative's health. "According to our observation, the sudden unconsciousness of the representative is due to a lot of stress and lack of sleep and improper eating habbit." He was cut- off by Kira who reacted profoundly.

"Due to lack of sleep and improper eating habbit!" He said disbelievingly. "I can understand about the stress thing; but, what I can not understand is for her not to sleep and to eat." He said objectively as he still can't figure out how her sister could do such foolish thing.

"We also sift some information about these problems, and according to her servants, she haven't eaten a thing this past week. If she would eat, she would only sip her coffee." He paused for a while and sighed. "More or less it is due to her stress and lack of sleep and improper eating habbit; but, after examining further it is due to her severe mental depression." The doctor concluded and looked at them seriously.

A pang of conscience struck Athrun as he heard the doctor's findings. "…Cagalli…" He muttered. He suddenly clenched his fist as he tries to overcome his rising range of guilt.

Although it is not seen in his face the intolerable concern for Cagalli, Lacus felt the pain Athrun is undergoing. "Athrun…" She repined as she glared at Athrun and saw the signs of sorrow in his face.

"So, can we see Cagalli now?" Kira asked eagerly.

"She is still resting for a while and it will not be good to see her right now." The doctor verified the situation. "But after she wakes up, we will tell you and you may then talk to her." The doctor affirmed.


The three, after speaking with the doctor, walks to the hallway of the hospital quite bothered of Cagalli's recent actions.

"I really can't imagine why Cagalli could do such thing." Kira said furiously while kind of irratated of the situation.

"Kira!" Lacus hissed as she finger-tapped him to look at Athrun's side.

Athrun, who is following them behind, is in deep thought. 'Cagalli…' He still can't believe that Cagalli would do such thing yet he also knew why she has done such ridiculous thing. "Why!" He muttered as he gritted his teeth.

Both Kira and her stopped for a while and faced at Athrun's side. "Um…Athrun…" Lacus called meekly. "Are you alright…" She asked concernedly.

He clenched his fist to suppress his emotion. "Kira…I…am sorry…" He said submissively while he tries to ease his range of guilt.

Kira saw the uneasiness in Athrun's actions and comforted him. "Hey it is not your fault." Kira remarked. "Don't think about it. Cagalli is now safe and it is all that matter." Kira smiled at him to lessen his grief.

Athrun, who is quite guilty of Cagalli's situation couldn't look at Kira's eyes directly and just nodded insecurely.

After reaching the exit of the hospital, Kira asked Athrun to come with them; but Athrun declined their offer.

"No thanks…" He declined. "I still have to go back to the airport." He explained. "Please contact me if there are any news about Cagalli." He then gave them a meek smile.

"Ah...Ok…See you then." Kira nodded and opened the door of his car.

"Bye Athrun!" Lacus waved at Athrun before getting into the car.


After Cagalli regains her consciousness, Kira and Lacus begun to visit her everyday. In those days, her health is continually improving; although, she hasn't eaten that much and refused to eat sometimes. Kira and Lacus was patient enough of taking care of her. If not them, Cagalli won't eat a thing and will just ignore the nurses and even scold them heartlessly. Cagalli was rather hard to handle for the staffs of the hospital but because of Kira and Lacus' perseverance, she was able to come through it. Although, her health is improving; depression was still visible in her pale face and what was concerning them was she hasn't spoken a word about what's bothering her that she could have done such thing.

Athrun, after hearing Cagalli's condition immediately went to Orb to know her condition or more or less to confront her.

"Is she alright?" He asked solemnly to Lacus and Kira.

"Yes, she has begun to eat and sleep; but her temper is still uncontrollable that sometimes she refused to eat when she is not in the mood." Lacus explained.

"Hmm…" Athrun looked dumbfounded of the news about Cagalli and guilt started to creep in his mind again. "Haven't she eaten yet?" He asked curiously.

"Well, right now, the nurse is trying to convince her to eat." Kira said wittily, knowing the nurse will not succeed in doing so. "But I doubt that she will be convinced." Kira said knowing her sister's stubborness.

Kira was right, for the nurse has finally exited the room unsuccessful and frustrated.

"Hmm…So she still don't want to eat...coz she has no appetite?" Kira asked piquantly. "Am I right?"

The nurse nodded. "Um... I left the tray in the table hoping she would eat..." The nurse said nervously.

Kira sighed, knowing this will happen. "Oh well…" Kira was about to open the door to confront her sister when Athrun halted him. "Hm?" Kira looked at him questionably.

"I think, I should talk to her." Athrun looked at Kira's eyes sincerely and with solemnity.

Lacus tapped Kira's shoulder and nodded at Athrun.

Kira understood Athrun's intentions and smiled at him. "Well, goodluck!" Kira cheered him up. He then stepped backwards to give way for Athrun.

Athrun nodded and went inside the room.


Upon entering the room, he saw Cagalli in her bed seating blankly. He observed her for quite a while and spotted some changes in her appearance that really suprised him or more or less worried him for some reason.

Cagalli's once lively face was now gloomy and dull because of stress. The tint of her sunshine skin was pale. Her figure was still visble but it was also obvious that she got thinner and weak due to the time she haven't eaten a thing. Her eyebugs was visble in her amber eyes due to lack of sleep. Her appearance was not likely the Cagalli that he knew but there is something that never changes, it is his feelings for her.

"Cagalli…" He muttered as he gazed at her.

"Kira, I don't want to eat!" She snorted. "I don't have an appetite now."

Upon hearing no response from her brother she looked at the one who entered and was confounded to see the least person she wants to see. "Athrun!!!"

"Cagalli…" Athrun walked closer to Cagalli as he looked at her temperately.

Cagalli, who is quite frustrated, evaded his green eyes and frown. She neither spoke nor made any attempts to talk with him.

Athrun sat in the chair besides Cagalli's bed. He looked at Cagalli's eyes sincerely. It was a moment of silence between the two and only their senses do their functions.

The silenced was broken when Athrun attempted to speak. "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly.

Cagalli didn't spoke a word and continued to frown.

Athrun sighed. He looked around the room and noticed a tray with untouched soup in it. "Hmm…" He grabbed the tray and begun to mixed it's soup. He was about to spoon- feed Cagalli when she heedlessly ignored it.

Cagalli didn't look at Athrun and didn't even bother to eat.

"Cagalli, you have to eat or you will not regain your health." Athrun pleaded; but Cagalli was so stubborn and ignored him again.

Athrun's persistence was unbearable for Cagalli that she suddenly snapped out of it. "I DON"T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY!" She told him in a mocked tone.

"Yes, you don't need my sympathy; but you need yours." He said sujectively while maintaining his composure and solemnity.

Cagalli suddenly bashed off the tray in Athrun's hand that causes it to fall to the ground.

Athrun didn't show any expression on her actions and begun to clean up the mess she made.

Upon seeing this, Cagalli was more annoyed and insecured. "GO AWAY!" She commanded fiercely. "I don't need your help!" She said angrily as tears started to fall from her eyes.

He then stood up and looked at Cagalli's amber eyes. "Cagalli…" Athrun was absorbed by Cagalli's tears as if her tears were his; but he didn't show any sign of his feelings and continued his solemnity. "I…am sorry…" He said sincerely as he looked affectionately to Cagalli's eyes.

Cagalli was enthralled of Athrun's truthful eyes that were also the eyes of his beloved. ."Is that all you could say?" She asked meekly and stared at him.

Athrun saw the sadness in Cagalli's eyes and didn't bother to speak.

"Hm." She gave him a smirk. and then she suddenly began to speak melancholy. "I was really depressed of your marriage with Meyrin…" She professed softly like a touch of sorrow was with in her every word.

"Cagalli…" Athrun saw the sign of sadness in Cagalli's words and felt its pain through every word.

"I know it is my fault why the two of us didn't end up together. I chose my country over our love; but my love for you hasn't change and until now I still think about you that made it hard for me to accept that you have loved someone else besides me." She paused for a while to hold her tears. "I know that I am selfish for being like this; but it is hard for me to control my feelings."

Athrun looked at Cagalli worriedly and quite guilty of her state. "Cagalli, I am sorry if I had put you to such misery; but you have to understand we have to move on with life. Meyrin is a nice girl and she loved me…" He paused for a while and looked at her eyes sincerely. "Cagalli, as you have said you have chosen your country and I understand that so please…" He was cut- off by Cagalli, who doesn't want to hear his next statement, and continued telling her sentiments.

"I'm sorry if I can't help it but to mourn for that cursing day. I know that I sound insane and obnoxious but my heart was broken into pieces as I saw the two of you walked in the altar happily." She looked at his eyes. "I know that I am foolish in doing these things but maybe I just wanted you to be with me as you have always done…" She said hollowly while her tears started to fall in her eyes again.

"Cagalli…" He looked at her with irony and grasped her hand" I do understand what you feel Cagalli but there is no reason for you to put so much misery in your part." Athrun pleaded. He looked at Cagalli affectionately with his green eyes. "Our duties might have parted us and the reason of our unfortunate ending but you should know that." He wasn't able to continue as Cagalli cut him off again.

"I may say that I wanted you to be with me; but, I also know that you are someone's property now." She said coldly while looking at him enigmatically.

"I am not a property of no one nor should you call me so." He continued as he looks at her eyes. "Cagalli, please don't be cold towards me...I may say that I am a traitor of my own heart but you also did the same..." His solemnity was disturbed and his heart was the one controlling him instead. "I am always at your side Cagalli and I shall never leave you so please don't do such thing." He begged. "I love you Cagalli and I'll always be with you..." He said affectionately, reprimanding in his mind that he already has a wife.

"Athrun..." Cagalli was absorbed by his words at first but a sudden thought passed her. She immediately took her hand away from him and evaded him. "Athrun, please don't say such foolish things…It just put more pain in my part." She took away her eyes off him, obstructed by his words.

He just realized that he already pledge his loyalty and love to another woman and he has no right to break it. "Cagalli...I am sorry If I had say such things..." He took back his words unsurely. Sign of insecurity and doubtfulness in his decisions and feelings was obviously reflected in his face.

Cagalli was trampled by his words but she knew it was also true, for he is no longer free and he is already tied with someone's heart. "You already have broken my heart once and I can no longer take any of it." She said in a determined tone. "Now, you have someone to be with...I'm sorry if I ever dreamt in being with you, although I knew it would never happen..." She paused and have a final glanced of his emerald eyes. "To be with you was like a dream before but now it is such a misery...especially when you know he isn't yours anymore..." She said coldly and took her eyes of him.

"Cagalli…" He tried to talk to her but her mind was made up and she didn't even bother to look at him.

After knowing that her mind was made up, he stood up from his seat and took one more glance of his beloved. He then walked densely towards the door.

He was wondering how faith could sometimes be cruel in two people who loved each other and how it plays a crazy trick on them to let them feel the wasted love they have offered. He sometimes wished that he haven't met her but if he does not, then his life will be worthless. So many tears were shed and so much sacrifices was made but not only one experienced such thing but also the other.

Before he leaves, he stopped in front of the door and say his final words. "Cagalli, I am sorry if I put you to such misery..." He looked at her with deep affection but she neither glance nor say anything to stop him that triggers his disappointment. He was dumfounded for a moment and continued his sentence. "But Cagalli...you on your own way did it to yourself... I understand why you have chosen your country over me but what I can not understand is what you have done to yourself..." He paused for a while and took his eyes off her. "You blame me for your miseries sympathetically but Cagalli…I have not broken your heart, you have broken it… and in breaking it… you have broken mine…" He said veraciously. He then quietly left the room after throwing his words that meant a thousand meanings for her.

She watched him leave ironically quite confounded of his words.


After leaving the room he leaned his back on the door and the tears he had kept for a while suddenly gushed from his eyes.

Lacus and Kira, who seen this, didn't spoke a word. "Hmm..."

Sadness overcame the place as the meeting of two hearts was over. Now, the only left for them is a broken heart that will surely have a mark that even time can not heal it, for this is the only illness that has no cure that is sold and only the other pair can relief its pain.


Meanwhile, Cagalli, who is in her room, was struck by Athrun's words and tears continued to fall from her eyes. "Athrun…" She muttered as she looked dumbfounded at the window just to witness the assemblance of the clouds to the dark sky. 'It's gonna rain...' She thought and watched the raindrops fall from the sky.


A/N:

I'm really sorry if the character's characteristics didn't reflect truly in this fic but I was so stupid and thought of making this fic because of my current addiction to the novel I've read. Well, just to clear things, the novel is Wuthering Heights and if you have read it, I know it is quite ironic but it did end up happily(I think so?). The truth is the thing that struck me most with in the novel is the leading character's dialogue w/c you can see in my fic. I think it is obviously seen??? Well, I hope you like it even though it didn't end up happily; but please don't kill me coz like you I'm also a fan of their pairing and still hoping that they will end up together. Thank you for those who read my fic and hopefully you like it too. (I mean hopefully...)