Don't You Forget About Me

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Summary: Letting go of the past is one of the hardest things to do. Moving on from what you used to know so well is even harder.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl.

Dedicated to: The girls at the eNVy thread! Congrats on 100!

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It's two in the morning when Vanessa opens her window to a freezing Nate, standing in the snow with a rock in his hand.

He drops the rock and smiles so innocently.

She shakes her head, doesn't believe his trusting smile.

"It's everywhere, Nate. The kiss with Blair…It's all over." She can see her breath in the cold New York air as she feels her eyes getting itchy, and she knows she's going to cry.

His smile disappears. "Please try to understand-"

She raises her hand. "I'm tired of understanding. I'm tired of trusting you when I know I shouldn't. So don't explain it to me."

She unhooks her necklace from her neck and holds it right outside her window.

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"I wanted to give this to you." Nate grins as he hands Vanessa a black box.

She smirks in curiosity as she opens the box. Inside is a gorgeous gold necklace with a small N pendant.

She gestures for him to put it on her. He hooks it and she turns around, embracing him and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I'll never take it off."

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She watches the N pendant dangle for a moment, then lets it fall into a blanket of snow.

"Give it to a girl who deserves it. Give it to a girl who deserves you."

And with that, she slams her window shut so she can cry in peace.

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He leaves her seventeen messages, and she deletes sixteen in succession without listening to them.

She feels strong enough to listen to the last one.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I don't expect you to talk to me, but…I care about you. I didn't mean to hurt you. Vanessa…Our song's not over yet."

She doesn't call him back. She doesn't want to hear his voice anymore.

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"I was thinking…Maybe love is like a song." She grins at the thought. "Some songs just don't end." She laughs at the thought. "Does that make me sound crazy?"

Nate laughs with her. "Just crazy enough." He pecks her on the lips. "I, for one, hope that this song never ends."

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She's dragging her feet in the snow as she walks through the borough with Chuck, who is just as down on his luck as she is.

"I thought love was supposed to make things easier." She thought out loud as she kicked the snow in frustration.

Chuck stops walking. "Love is like the bowels of hell." He explains. "It's pain for a while."

Vanessa furrows her brows. "When does it get easy?"

"The pain is worth it in the end." He stares straight ahead, not looking at her. "If you've found the right person."

"How do you know if you've found the right person?" She can't help but ask questions.

"You just…know." He can't elaborate anymore. "The way you feel, the way they look at you."

"I like the way he makes me feel." She's staring at the snow. "I like the way he looks at me."

Chuck shrugs. "Then maybe it's worth it in the end."

Vanessa is somehow mesmerized by the snow, the soft snowflakes caressing the concrete.

"Maybe."

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"I love when it snows in the city." Vanessa spins around like a goof and trips on her shoelace.

Nate tries not to snicker at her mistake. She blushes.

"What's so different about snow in the city?" Nate wonders, like the naïve boy he often is.

"When I lived in Vermont with my parents, there weren't many lights." Vanessa skipped around like a little girl. "There was just a couple feet of snow, and a lot of cows."

"Sounds like fun." Nate jokes. He steals her hat and starts a slippery chase on black ice.

Vanessa breathes in the sharp, cold air and smiles to herself.

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It's two in the morning when Vanessa opens her window to a solemn Nate, who's amazed that she's even attempting to have a conversation with him.

Winter is gone and the leaves are growing again on the city trees. A sad, weak wind is blowing through the seventy degree weather.

He's coming with his apologies, she knows, but what she doesn't know is if she's going to give him a chance to apologize. She doesn't know if she's going to forgive him.

He has his hands in his pockets, his puppy dog eyes just staring at her. He's waving the white flag.

"I already heard you broke up." Vanessa initiates the conversation. "Gossip Girl is fast."

He nods. His jaw is tight and he doesn't say anything for a while.

He digs in his pocket to reveal the necklace. She can still see it clearly through the black night, shining.

"You didn't give it to her." Vanessa is taken aback.

"A year ago, I would have." He glances at the necklace, then looks back at her. "We're different now. And she knew that there was someone else…"

She doesn't say anything now. She just curses herself because her eyes are getting itchy again.

"Vanessa, I was stupid." He lowers his head in embarrassment. "Please, take the necklace back."

She takes a deep breath, and shakes her head.

"I can't. Not after all that's happened." The spring heat burns her eyes, and she begs herself not to cry in front of him.

"You made me believe in love and romance. You made it seem possible. But now…I'm tired of getting hurt, Nate. I'm tired in believing in you."

She starts to close her window, but stops.

"Hold that necklace for me, okay?" She gives him her last words.

He nods as he puts the necklace back in his pocket.

She gives him one last sad smile, then closes her window.

Their song was not over yet. It would never be over.

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fin