Oh, why do you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side, too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

"Lily?"

"James?"

"Lilyflower, what's the matter?"

"I-uh…n-nothing's the matter…" Sniffling, she hastily wiped away fresh, cold tears from her face and hugged her body, rubbing her arms. James sighed and approached her, wrapping his arms gently but securely about her body.

"Here, look at me…" Lily looked up and turned her head to face James. A lump in his throat formed as he saw the tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to fall. He hated to see her so pained. "What's going on? C'mon, you can tell me…" She shook her head and turned away from him, unwrapping herself from his arms.

"No, no…nothing's the matter-I already told you that, James. Please, just leave me alone right now." With that, she walked off towards their bedroom and shut the door, leaving a confused and hurt James standing alone in the process.

-----

"I don't understand," groaned a rather confused James, "One minute she's all happy, then the next she'll burst into tears or suddenly get so melancholy. She tries to hide the fact that something's wrong, when it's obvious that something's the matter. It hurts to see her this way and I want nothing more than to help her out, but she won't tell me what's going on! How can I help her when I don't even know what's making her act this way?" James frowned, a confused expression on his face, as he sought advice from his best friend and confidant.

"You know how women are-they've got those crazy mood swings…" Sirius replied, thinking about the matter for a moment, "I wish I could help you, really. Have you tried getting her flowers or something? That usually works for Marlene-she'll get in some foul mood with me, start shooting my head off with insults, all I need to do is just go out and buy her flowers-magicking it just won't do, it's not 'romantic' enough-and she'll melt all over me. Well, that usually works-most of the time. It's worth a shot, you know."

"No…I don't think flowers could help this. Besides, I've already tried." He sighed, running a hand through his hair in that familiar habit of his. But now, instead of the usual 'I'm cocky' reason of ruffling his hair, the action progressed over the years to being reserved for 'I'm uncomfortable' moments or times of heavy thinking. James shook his head, at a loss for an explanation for Lily's behavior or a solution to her sadness. "It's different this time, something pretty big-yet, she won't tell me anything and it's driving me crazy!"

"Look, how about I ask Marlene about it. I'm sure she'll know something about Lily, after all, the two of them are best friends and she's bound to know something. Or better yet, how about you talk to Marlene?"

"That's a great idea, Pads!" James smiled, his former confused and melancholy attitude suddenly brighter at the plan.

"Speaking of which…here she comes now. Hello, love!" Sirius stood up to great Marlene as she walked through the door.

------

"Oh my, Lily! That's, that's…wow. Does James know yet?"

"No."

"Oh. If you want, I could drop a hint or something-"

"No, no…I want to tell him myself. I-I think it would hurt him too much if he heard it from another source and not from me."

"I know what you mean. Don't worry so much, Lils, I'm sure James will be very understanding."

"I hope so. Promise you won't say a word?"

"I promise."

Opening the door to the home she shared with Sirius, Marlene absent-mindedly pressed a hand to her body. Remnants of the conversation she shared with Lily that afternoon swam through her head. Oh Merlin, she thought, I hope she tells him soon. He needs to know.

"Hello, love!"

She looked up, smiling at Sirius. But after spotting James seated not too far from him, a look of surprise came upon her face. He shouldn't be here! Not now at least! He needs to be with Lily!

She forced a smile, "Hello, dearest." She closed the door behind her and stepped into the house, walking over to the both of them.

"Hey, James" she greeted, "Where's Lily?" Back at his house, she knew, but of course she would feign surprise.

"She's back at the house. She said she was tired to go out this afternoon and said to send you both her love."

I'm sure, she thought with a bite of sarcasm.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry that she couldn't make it. I really miss her these days…" she replied, continuing the play the part of not knowing, "Send her our love as well. Now, what brings you here?"

"What? I can't spend time with my best mate and his wife and be heckled by questions for it?" James grinned, obviously joking around about the whole thing.

"Oh, James. You know you and Lily are always welcome here."

"I know", he replied with a slight smile, before getting back down to business, "But, seriously. The real reason I came here is…well…I was wondering if you knew anything about Lily-"

"Oh. If you want I could drop a hint or something-"

She swallowed slightly. "Lily?"

"Yeah…you see. She's been feeling a bit off lately, more sad than usual-"

"I hope. Promise you won't say a word?"

"-I hate seeing her like this, it just kills me inside. I've tried asking her what's wrong, but she won't tell me anything. And so..I was wondering if you knew anything about her strange behavior."

"I promise."

"No. No James, I'm sorry- I don't really know anything. I wish I could've helped a bit more, but I have no idea. Don't worry about it so much, though, I'm sure it'll pass." She offered a comforting smile. "And if Lily's acting so strange as you say she is, I think you should be with her right now and just helping her any way you can…" With that, Marlene began absent-mindedly rubbing her flat belly.

James arched an eyebrow, seeing her action. "Lena…you're not…?"

"Like I said, go on home to Lily-she probably needs you a lot right now."

----

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong

"Lily-you need to tell him soon! It's been what…a month now? After a while, it's going to be obvious what's going on and James will be hurt, you know how he is. It's not that hard to tell him. What are you afraid of?"

Lily sighed and shook her head, rubbing her forearm.

"C'mon Lils, what are you afraid of? Tell me! Are you afraid that you're not right for this? Because, believe me, you're perfect! Better than I could be! Or you don't want it?"

"Of course I want it!" Lily snapped, staring at her friend harsh in the eye. She took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to begin again. "What I'm trying to say is…I…I…"

"What?"

"I'm afraid of rejection! Alright? There, I said it. I'm afraid of rejection, Lena! I'm afraid James will scorn me or something, or that he wouldn't want anything to do with this. And what with the responsibilities of the Order increasing more recently, I don't think he'd want this extra burden on his hands! This…this just isn't right. I mean…I want this, I know I do. But, the timing couldn't be any worse."

"Oh, Lils." Marlene stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her friend. "Look, things happen for a reason, or else what I like to believe. To you, the timing may seem horrible, but maybe it isn't. Maybe there's some odd reasoning behind all this that we just haven't figured out yet. But, in the end, it's all your choice on how you want to handle it. Sure, I'm strongly suggesting you tell James, it's not right that you have to go through this alone, but whatever you do, I still support you."

"Thanks, Lena" Lily mumbled against her friend's shoulder.

"Anytime, Lils."

-----

"Hello?"

"James?"

"Lily! Hey, what's-"

"Umm, could you come back to the house please…there's something I'd like to tell you…"

"What's the matter?" James questioned, holding the phone up to his ear. He had just left the house for work at the Order moments earlier.

"Please, if you could just take a quick break from work, I promise…it won't take that long-I hope."

"Alright, Lils. Is everything okay?"

"I think that…everything got perfect."

----

"Lily?" James called out as he opened the door and stepped inside. "Lils? Where are you?"

"In here, James," called back a voice softly, coming from the living room.

"Hey." He walked over to where Lily sat on the sofa, seating himself beside her. He arched an eyebrow, a look of concern mingled with worry on his face "What's wrong? You called so suddenly after I left for work…"

"Don't…don't be worried, it's nothing bad really. I think…"

"Lily?"

She sighed and took his hand in hers, before placing it over her belly.

"I'm pregnant."

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

"You're…you're what?"

She swallowed the heavy lump in her throat, struggling to hold her tears back and trying to decode his reaction. Had he been surprised? Shocked? Angry?

"I'm…I'm pregnant." She bit her lip, before continuing again. "I'm sorry, I would've told you sooner. But, I was just so afraid of how you'd react…I thought you'd be angry with me-"

"I could never be angry with you-"

"Or that you'd want me to give up on this baby. But, James, I want this baby so much. And I know, the timing couldn't be any worse, what with the Order and all the increasing responsibilities, but still…I hoped that you'd want this baby just as much as I do-"

"Lily."

"If, if you don't want it…I, I understand. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Lena kept telling me that I needed to tell you soon and that you deserved a right to know. And, I don't know. I was just so caught up and afraid and-"

"Lily!" James pressed his hands against the sides of her face and kissed her gently, knowing that would stop her from talking. After a few minutes, he finally pulled back and smiled. "Lilyflower, I couldn't be happier. I want this baby, too."

"Y-you do?" She gazed at him, emerald eyes holding surprise.

"Yeah," he replied with a smile, "You had nothing to be afraid of all along. I want this baby, too."

She returned the smile, "Really?"

"Yeah."

"James…" she murmured, a tear or two running down her cheeks. She hastily made a move to wipe them away, but James beat her to it.

"I love you, James."

"I love you, too, Lilyflower."