Heyaaa! Uhmmm... I wanted to do Fairy Tail one-shots YAY! So this will be my first attempt at a lemon actually and well... I decided to just go with it! Anyways.. this is going to be hella awkward for me to write *le very single sigh*

WARNING: Guys, there are suggestive themes here and if you're really not that keen on reading suicidal thoughts/self harm etc. please do not continue or read at own risk! Also, if you're struggling with these issues please talk to me! Or someone else for that matter! Times may be rough and hard, I completely understand! Trust me when I say so, but do know that you are loved, I promise! I love you and all of my other precious readers! Be happy you guys, all of you deserve it!

WARNING: This contains lemony good, meaning there's sexual content and if you're not a pervert like me *cough* *cough* ehh don't read!

Self-Harm Fem!Reader x Cobra/Erik


You've been a Rogue Mage for as long as you can remember and never were you asked to join a guild, not even a dark guild. So when Oracion Seis asked you to join forces, you declined, thinking that maybe they were just joking around. But no, even after they received severe punishment from the Magic Council and were released from prison after sitting out their sentence, they still wanted your company, so you decided that a guild was worth a shot.

That was nearly 2 years ago and you've grown fond of the comradeship you have with your fellow ex-dark guild members. Ever since they'd successfully joined Jellal's guild to atone for their sins, you felt proud of them and you held so much love for every member of the group. Yes, even Melody and Jellal were included.

There was just one little problem.

"Shit.." You cursed under your breath as you dropped the razor for the third time. Your hand was shaking violently as you tried to get the cut as straight as possible.
Yes, this was your little problem.
You became a Rogue after you had killed your father and your mother had dumped you on the streets, screaming "Demon! Demon! Demon!" Over and over again. Oh, you truly were a demon.
Those words were the only thing you remembered of your mother. Not even her looks or the way she smelled had a place in your mind.
Nothing.
When you tried to think of your life before Crime Sorciere, you can only see the faces of many assassinations, of the people you've killed for money. There was no memory of your parents, just figures without faces or any trace of love.

You shuddered in relief as a wave of pain washed over you and you suppressed a pleasured moan when you slid down the blade again. Your crimson blood flowed down your toned arms and you kept staring as they left red trails.
"Fuck!" You whispered angrily and threw the razor aside. You muttered under your breath as you washed away the blood with clean water from the bathtub. You were mad at yourself for this... addiction. Yes, it was an addiction. You'd promised yourself to stop, but after all the nightmares and memories came back, you couldn't stop yourself. You needed something to relieve the pain.
"Stupid me! How could I not?" You said, mad at yourself but at the same time in a temporary state of bliss as the pain in your arm overrode the aching in your heart.

A sudden knock at your bathroom door shook you out of your slumber.
"(Y/n)? You in there?" Cobra shouted through the door.
"Hm? Yes, what do you want?" You shouted back, irritated to be bothered in your free time.
"We're going out, wanna come?" He asked and you swear, you could've heard the smirk in his voice, knowing you didn't like to be annoyed when taking a bath.
"Sure, give me 10!" You yelled back and began to stand in the tub. You reached for the towel when Cobra answers with a surprised "okay" and left.
Sighing you made your way over to the first-aid kit and wrapped a bandage over your cuts. As much as you love ( or hate) to do it, you'd rather not have your cuts infected.

After 10 minutes as promised you appeared at the front door of your guild's pretentious base. Dressed in black jeans, black long-sleeves and a leather jacket. Yeah, black was definitely your colour. Black combat boots, some accessories and lipstick finished the look.
"All ready to go, huh?" Angel asked once she appeared next to you.
"Hmm hmm. Where're we going, anyway?" You asked her, but she just shrugs it off. You sighed in defeat and nervously fidgeted with the hem of your sleeve.
"Oi! We all here?!" Racer shouted as he almost runs into the both of you and grinned. You and Angel just shook your head.
"Jeez they're slow..." Racer muttered.
"Oh hey!" Melody cheered, nearing the group with Jellal by her side, everyone greeted them politely and they were soon accompanied by Cobra, all ready to go.

**La Time Skip - brought to you by Master Zero**

You bursted out laughing when Jellal desperately tried to deny his lifelong crush on Erza Scarlet aka The Titania. Angel and Cobra joined in the laughter while Racer and Melody just awkwardly sat there, sipping their drinks while watching the scene.
"Man! Keep it down, I can hear it." Cobra chuckled, making Jellal's cheeks grow hotter by the second.
"Y'know, sometimes I think you enjoy hearing everyone's pervy thoughts." Angel mused and you nearly choked on your 15th glass of beer.
"Damn, woman. You got me!" Cobra said, laughing it off but you could see the faint blush beginning to form. Aw he's too cute, you thought to yourself and was immediately rewarded by Cobra's questioning look.
You swallowed and looked away quickly, hiding your emotions behind a mask as you eyed him again with a smirk.
"Oi! Can I have another one?" You asked the bartender, holding up your beer glass. He nodded and took it from you.
"Jeez, you're a demon, (y/n)! That will be your, what, 20th beer for tonight? How are you not even drunk?!" Cobra said unbelieving. You froze in your seat and gazed at Cobra who was staring right back, a grin plastered on his face, but his words echoed in your mind.
"You're a demon, (y/n)!" "Demon (y/n)"
"Demon"
"Demon"

Slowly his voice morphed into that of your mother and you felt your eyes burn as the memory replays in your mind. How she had called you a demon over and over again. A monster. Not worthy of living. A killer. Not meant to be born. A mistake.

Suddenly your mind cleared and your focus returned, you were still staring at Cobra who was looking back with wide eyes. Probably because he'd caught up on the memory.
A hand waved in front of your face and you shook yourself out of your reverie.
"Hmm?" You looked at Angel.
"You were drifting off, finally getting tipsy after your 19th?" She laughed and everyone did too, except Cobra, who was still staring at you.
The bartender put a glass of beer down in front of you and left again.
You wanted to leave too, you had to.
"It's my 16th actually." You laughed and took the glass with you as you rushed outside, saying that you needed to smoke for a bit. (A/n: SORRY if Reader-chan doesn't smoke/like to smoke! T^T)

Once outside you broke down, smashing the beer against the wall with an agitated scream and trying to light your cigarette while your hands were visibly shaking.
"Here, lemme help you." You heard someone say as they took your lighter and lit the cigarette for you.
"Thanks Erik." You grinned and leaned against the rough wall, gazing up at the darkening sky.
"Eh no problem." Cobra answered used to the fact that you call him by his real name sometimes.

After a while of silence, Cobra cleared his throat and turned to look at you.
"(Y/n)..." You snapped your head in his direction and exhaled some smoke.
"You... weren't really supposed to catch that." You said, indicating at the flashback you had earlier and looked away.
"I... did though." Cobra stated, not breaking his gaze away from you.
"Yeah.." You breathed and felt empty. Hollow. Like someone just took every bit of energy from your body and replaced it with lead.
"Erik, I'm sorry..." You said after a short pause and threw away your cigarette.
"For what are you apologizing?" Cobra asked warily and then he could hear your thoughts.
Should I? Ugh.. No! But I've liked him for so long? Can't I try to... God, I love him.
Carefully, you stepped in front of Cobra as you admitted your feelings for him via your thoughts. It was as simple as that.
And then you leaned forward and kissed him. Cobra didn't hesitate to kiss back, not afraid to return your feelings and you soon found yourself pinned to the wall, him caging you between his arms as his tongue roughly discovered the inside of your mouth.

"E-Erik!" You gasped as his mouth travelled to the side of your face and down your neck. Licking and biting the skin until he found your weak spot.
"Say (y/n), how about you transport us some place private where we can continue?" Cobra suggested and sucked at the vulnerable skin, possibly leaving marks as he kissed down to your collarbones.
"Y-you're probably right -Ngh!" You bit your lip when you felt Cobra's tongue slide down the side of your neck.
Grasping the front of his t-shirt tightly, you transported the two of you to your apartment at the base.

"Erik!" You exclaimed surprised when he pushed you down on the bed. He reached inside of your leather jacket and slid it off your shoulders. Next he tugged at the bottom of your black long-sleeve and your eyes widened.
In seconds you had flinched away from him and scooted over to the far end of the bed, protectively crossing your arms over your chest.
"(Y/n)? What... What's wrong?" Cobra asked worriedly as he crawled closer to you.
You shook your head, (h/c) hair flinging around your face as you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape.
"(Y/n)?" Cobra said, sitting next to you on the bed.
Shit what am I doing? you thought. I can't show him my cuts. He-he... Crap what am I doing?! He can hear my...
You gasped and looked up at Cobra who was staring down at you with wide eyes.
"(Y-y/n)? What 'cuts'?" He asked carefully. Your eyes travelled from his face down to your arms and then up to his face again, a tear slipped from your eye and he knew what was going on.
"God, no (y/n)..." Cobra whispered and took both your arms, ripping away the black fabric, revealing the bandages you'd wrapped around them earlier.
"No, no, no, no..." He kept muttering when he unwrapped the bandage on one arm.
Suddenly he froze, hand just an inch from your arm, his breath hitching and he closed his eyes.
"No..." He breathed as he opened them and looked down at your arm, which was painted with uncountable scars and fresh red lines.
"(Y/n), why?!" Cobra demanded and you snatched your arm back to yourself. It was silent for a couple minutes before you dared to speak.
"B-Because..." You paused and Cobra shook his head.
"Why?! Why on Earth would you do something like that to yourself?!" He snapped and you watched with dread-filled eyes as tears slid down his face.
E-Erik.. is crying? Because of... Me? you thought warily and leaped forward to hug him.
"Please don't cry…" you muttered, but it didn't help the silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"No, it's not possible... You're always so strong and independent and you crack the most insane jokes half of the time and your smile... (Y/n), your smile looked so sincere." Cobra kept rambling in denial.
"Erik..." You whispered into his shoulder and he immediately shut his mouth.
"I… have lived with this deep sadness for so long, it just kept aching inside of me. Kept telling me that I wasn't good enough. Not strong enough. Not.. pretty enough. Not smart enough. That I was just... Not enough! And I kept telling myself that it wasn't true, believe me Erik, I tried! So hard, but I failed. I was weak, God, I'm still weak!" You cried and hid your face in Cobra's chest.
"All of you were the light that shone in my dark times and I wasn't that little orphan girl on the streets anymore. No, I wasn't the daughter my mother wished she never had."
Cobra was silent while you sobbed into his chest.
"Then why, (y/n)? Why couldn't you stay in that light?" He asked, rubbing slow circles over your back in an attempt to calm you down.
You heaved a sigh and leaned back to look at Cobra.
"I-It was hard being an assassin... you know. Every night... I dreamed about the people I had killed, their faces keeping me company as they begged for dear life." You averted your gaze and continued,
"When you guys asked me to join your guild... I didn't believe you at first. Thinking that maybe you just needed me for another job or something." Cobra interrupted you here.
"No! That's not wh-" he started but you waved him off.
"I know, I know... I was glad that all of you came back to ask me again. I thought... that maybe I'd be able to forget everything, and I did forget them for a while. I didn't see the faces anymore, didn't wake up in the middle of the night, screaming because I had killed a father, or a mother or a son. I was really glad." You looked up at Cobra again and smiled, but it faded just as soon.
"But it didn't last very long... After a while I began hearing the voices again. At that time, I just shook it off, hoping that they'd eventually disappear." You paused and unclasped your arms from around Cobra's chest.
"They didn't and then all of a sudden my memories came rushing back at me. The ones that I had burried so deep inside of me, hoping that they'd never surface again. Memories of my mother... the-the one you saw...and -" Cobra cut you off as he leaned forward and kissed you, gently but urgently cupping your face with his hands.

"(Y/n) whatever goes on in that mind of yours, I can hear it. You don't need to explain yourself. I understand now." He whispered against your lips and you felt the pain ebb away, like snow to the sun.
Suddenly all you felt was his hands on your face and his lips inches from yours. The burning desire between you two made the ache in your heart leave.
"Erik…" you breathed and kissed him again, more passionate than before and he understood.
The tears were forgotten as you got to discover a new side to each other.

Cobra laid you down on the bed and hovered over you as his lips trailed down your neck. He carefully took off the remains of your black long-sleeve and his hands roamed over your exposed skin.
Your breath hitched as his hands reached behind your back to undo the clasps of your bra. Once it was off, Cobra moved to your jeans and undid the buttons agonizingly slow, making you squirm under his touch.
"Erik! Just… take it off, damn it!" you yelled at him once you finally got his coat and shirt off. He smirked and ripped the jeans off your body.
"Hmm? Impatient, are we?" Cobra cooed in your ear as he leaned down again, his chest pressing against yours and you struggled to hold in a moan.
"Moan for me baby." He commanded as his hands cupped your boobs, twisting and pinching the already erect nipple.
"Erik!" you moaned and bit your lip. You struggled to take of his pants but they finally came off and you palmed him through his boxers. Cobra growled and grazed his teeth over the sweet spot in your neck.
"Ah! Ngh.." you threw your head back, but didn't removed your hand from his crotch.
"Such a tease…" Cobra whispered as one of his hands slid down to your womanhood. He rubbed your entrance through the fabric before tearing it away.
The sudden exposure to colder air made you shiver and Cobra took advantage of your distraction as he entered a digit.
"Oh my god!" you cried out in delight before he slid in a second and you arched your back at the sensation of his fingers moving inside of you.
Cobra leaned down and kissed you again, breaking off a moan as you neared your high. Before you could explode with pleasure he pulled back and removed his fingers, earning a dissatisfied grunt from you.
Smirking he pulled down his boxers and positioned his tip at your entrance. He placed his hands on either side of your head and thrust in.
"Fuck, (y/n)… Ngh… You feel amazing." Cobra moaned while you winced at the pain and swung your arms around his torso, nails dragging over his back.

The room was filled with loud moans and neither of you really cared that the others might be getting home soon. All you really cared about was your pleasure and the other's pleasure.
After a while Cobra's thrusts sped up and you felt a knot form in your abdomen as he kept moaning your name.
"E-Erik!" you gasped when hit just right and you felt electricity course through your body as you released.
"(Y/n)!" Cobra exclaimed before he followed your lead and collapsed on top of you.
"That was…" you panted and rested your head in the crook of Cobra's neck, "…amazing."
Cobra let out a short laugh and slid his member out of you.
"You're amazing…" he whispered and covered both your forms with the blanket on your bed.
What did I ever do to deserve this, you thought with a faint smile on your face.
"Joining our guild?" Cobra suggested when he heard your thoughts and grinned, pulling you into a spooning position.
"Yeah…" you whispered, snuggling closer to his body. Slowly the both of you drifted off.

*Small skip- I'm too lazy to write about their dreamworld .*

Panting and sweating you woke up with a gasp and shot up in bed, scanning the room frantically.
"(Y/n)?" Someone asked and you flinched at the sound, turning around in bed you realised it was Cobra.
"What are you doing?" He asked carefully, sitting up as well.
You didn't reply and just shook your head, sighing, you laid back down.
"You alright?" Cobra whispered, hugging you from behind.
"Hmm hmm… I-I just had a dream." You looked at him over your shoulder and smiled at him.
"Wanna tell me about it?" Cobra asked worriedly and you sighed again, laying your head back down on the pillow.
"I was back in the streets where my mother left me… And I was lost, so I wanted to ask people where I was and how to get back to my mom." You paused and fiddled with the bandage on one of your arms.
"They didn't answer of course, every time I got close to one of them, they either screamed or scolded me for a demon and I didn't understand. Until I looked down and my hands were covered in blood… there was so much… blood." Cobra quickly moved to hover over you and look you in the eyes.
"You're not a demon, (y/n)." he said with a serious glint in his eyes before he leaned down and kissed you.
"You're perfect and I… I love you." He kissed your forehead and laid back down next to you. Your eyes widened when you realized what he'd said.
"Erik…" you whispered and he squeezed you lightly in response.
"I love you, too." You breathed and turned around to face him.
God, he's beautiful, you thought as his eyes scanned your face. He smirked and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
"I love you, too." You said clearer this time.
Your eyes travelled from his face to his neck and his toned arms. One glance at the smooth skin and your mood immediately dropped. Your gaze lowered to your own arm, the one without its bandage and you eyed the scars and red lines with regret.
Will that even fully heal? You asked yourself and closed your eyes, only to snap them open again when you felt something warm press on the cuts on your arm.
"E-Erik?" you questioned and shuddered when his little kisses sent spikes of pain up your arm.
"They will heal, promise." He answered and looked up at you.
"You think?" You asked carefully and Cobra nodded, swinging an arm over your form, locking you between his arms and his chest as he embraced you.
"Sleep, love." He murmured sleepily and you let yourself fall into a peaceful slumber.


Ehm… sooo how was that for a first? Not too bad I hope (≥^≤)

ANywayy thanks for reading! Next one-shot will be a Rufus x Reader lemon… just because I want to practice writing lemons… and.. well.. *cough* I'm not a pervert or anything he he he…

If you have any requests, please leave a review! I will do my best to fulfill it!

-Fanfic Devil, out!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail! OR the cover picture, which is SUPER PRETTY BTW ~(^w^~)