Chapter 1 : Just another day in E-Class...

Before introducing magic to the already crazy universe of Assassination Classroom, I think it preferable to warn you of a few things you will come across in this fanfiction. Starting with my rather tasteless humour. I will not apologise for awful jokes, nor repeat my warning. Read at your own risk of facepalming yourself to death. Secondly, there will be mentions of the following shows : Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, Magic Knight Rayearth and Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Be aware that MadoMagi might be entirely spoiled, including Rebellion, so if you do not want spoilers I advise you to watch everything before I reach the chapter where I intend to use it (if you never intended to watch it however fear not, it will not prevent you from enjoying the fic). My third warning will be about headcanons and ships. Even if shipping is not the main focus of this fanfiction, there will probably be some KarmaXNagisa. For the sake if my ship not being troubled by canon, let us take it for granted that Kayano is not in love with Nagisa in this fanfiction and that Karma and Okuda are just friends. There might be some crack pairings implied here and there, you might not even notice it. One last thing : I might be OoC at times. Feel free to tell me (by the bye, would you be so kind as to leave mean, nasty reviews. My ego delights in praise but my writing skills are unredeemable masochists, and I would rather trust the latter).

And so we begin at last. Korosensei- the yellow unidentified lifeform that has taken the part of the teacher in the absurd comedy on the verge of unfolding before your very eyes- (...sorry, I did not know how to begin my story)

...so we said, Korosensei had barely concluded his lesson about the Meiji era when the school bell rung.

"Just on time," he congratulated himself before wishing the class a nice evening. A nice evening of studying for the upcoming chemistry test, scheduled to the next morning. A few forgetful students complained at the reminder, only to be taunted by their teacher. The remaining teenagers were packing their things and starting to head home. It was the case, for example, of our protagonist Nagisa Shiota- a girly-looking boy with blue pigtails and a sharp mind...wait, blue pigtails ? Typical main character hair. Now the question you might ask is, what genre of anime is it ? Fantasy ? Shonen ? Magical girl ? Hum, magical girl...wait. Blue hair and pigtails ? That makes me think of something...oh, I know ! This is the story of a well known Vocaloid.

...what do you mean, it is not ? Oh damnit. Well, at least my stupid comments have allowed me to fill a few lines while not detailing the act of packing one's school items- an action neither the reader nor the author nor the character give a damn about. It might be interesting for the plot on the other hand to tell you that his friend Karma is waiting for him- no, no shipping yet. Anyway, let us go on with the first chapter of this...crackfic ? Crappy fic ? Parody fic ? Crappy crack parody of a fic ?

...I know, the story.

So we are back to Nagisa, who had finished packing his things and was about to leave with his friend when he heard someone calling his name. The Someone happened to be Rio Nakamura. Nagisa turned his head towards her, noticing by the way that the classroom was now almost empty. "What is it, Nakamura-san ?"

"Would you mind staying for a bit ? Ritsu and I have something to discuss with you."

Nagisa glanced at the artificial intelligence at the end of the room, whose screen beamed a gleeful smile at the acknowledgment. Nagisa smiled back timidly. He had absolutely no idea of what this unlikely couple had in mind, and was torn between curiousity and an intuition that he would not like what he was going to hear. Still, he did not think twice before accepting. He addressed Karma, who was waiting on the threshold. "Go ahead, I'll catch up with you."

"Actually," Nakamura intervened, "it might take a while." Nagisa's eyes translated the silent question he was asking his friend, whether he minded walking back home on his own tonight.

"I don't mind," the other boy replied. "It's not like I had anything to study for anyway." Nagisa knew that the last comment was not for him but for their teacher, whom Karma delighted in taunting. However before said teacher had time to snark back, the taunter's attention had been requested by someone else.

"Ah, erm, Karma-kun ?" Nagisa had not noticed Okuda was still in the room. "There's something I did not understand about today's history lesson...if you don't mind, could you explain it to me please ?"

"Alright" Karma replied after a pause. He was somewhat taken aback by this sudden request- something was off, Nagisa could feel it too; and Nakamura's eyes expressed satisfaction and mischief. On the other hand, neither Nagisa nor Karma could imagine any reason for Okuda to play along with whatever idea the blonde had in mind. Not to mention that Karma and Okuda were good friends, so her request was nothing out of the ordinary. It was the pacing that made it suspicious. "See you tomorrow then." Karma glanced one last time at Nagisa before departing with the chemistry nerd.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me ?" Nagisa asked the remaining girls...who did not get to reply, as their teacher stepped in.

"Boys and girls, I need to lock the doors. Would you please go outside to chat ?"

"I'm switching to mobile version," Ritsu announced before the screen shut down. The two human students therefore left the building, and once their yellow octopus of a teacher had shut the door, wished them goodbye and flown away at Mach 20, they finally got to resume- or more accurately to start their conversation.

"So there it goes," Nakamura started. "We need you for an assassination attempt."

"Sure. What's the plan ?"

"Ritsu, I leave the introduction to you," she grinned.

"Fine ! When we were in class, a little before lunchtime, I intercepted wavelengths with crypted data from a UFO-"

"A UFO ?!" Nagisa was both shocked and excited. "You're kidding, right ?"

"I am not," Ritsu replied.

"So you're saying you really picked up on extra-terrestrials' communications ?!"

"Exactly ! I managed to decipher their messages and I analysed their content. And with a little bit of help from Nakamura and Okuda I managed to make the most of the informations I have picked up and we elaborated a plan that has 1% of succeeding."

"1% ?!" Of course, let us remind the reader that 1% is to be understood as in, +1% compared to the usual plans. Nagisa was amazed at Ritsu's efficiency. Reading and translating encrypted data from another planet...(the narrator hereby asks Nagisa not to question the logic of this story any more, lest he should get a headache) "How is it possible ?"

"Well, that's the incredible part." Incredible- as in, more so than a speaking octopus destroying the moon and teaching a class of leftovers from an elitist school- school over which a UFO had just flown ? Try your best. "Those aliens were using magic."

"Magic ?!" (come on Nagisa, do not look so surprised ! It could have been something like haunted penguin hats or sword fights under an upside-down castle) Narrator, where the hell did those ideas come from ?! (...nevermind). Nagisa had a hint of where the girls were heading to, but he did not dare raise his hopes. "But how does that help us...?"

"The data I intercepted mentionned certain psychic conditions that allowed the use of magic, notably the intensity of psi-waves," Ritsu expanded. "I will not detail the mathematic operations, but the result was that you were eligeable for all the required conditions, Nagisa."

"You lucky psychic," Nakamura added with a hint of regret in her voice. (After all, who would not be excited to be told they were a wiz- wait, wrong series. My most sincere apologies).

Although Nagisa had been secretly hoping to hear what he had just heard, he was still taken aback for a few seconds. Magic...was it not amazing ? His face grew cheerful as the initial shock faded. "Wait, so you mean...wow ! A-and how do I use it ?"

"That's when Okuda-san and I start acting. To channel your psi-powers and do your tricks you need a magical item, so thanks to Okuda's science we got you this," she said as she removed a fancy-looking pen from her pocket. Nagisa stared in disbelief and could not utter a word for a few seconds.

"Nakamura-san, that's a pen," he finally managed to say. Needless to say, his excitement was starting to drop.

"Thanks, I'm not blind," she witfully replied.

"...so you want me to use a pen as a wand ?"

A blank.

"Nakamura-san ?"

Still no reply, but her eyes were starting to narrow in suspicion.

"You've never watched Sailor Moon ?" she eventually asked. Nagisa could feel she was surprised.

"Sailor what ?"

"Sailor Moon...so you really haven't," she added as her surprise turned into amusement. "Well, take this anyway." She put the pen in his hand before he could protest. "Tomorrow morning, just after the bell has rung the beginning of the test, we act."

"We ?" Nagisa wondered at first, before noticing his classmate was about to leave. "Wait ! How am I supposed to become a magician in a night ?!"

"The answer within you lies, young padawan" she joked. Before Nagisa could protest she waved goodbye and was out of his sight. In spite of the rush he still felt from learning he had magical powers, he was starting to worry. Our poor protagonist sighed.

"What have I got into this time..."


Well, I do not have much to say...I just hope Narrator did not annoy you too much ! Anyway, I am one of those lazy writers who take years to update...as of now I have chapter 2 ready, but I would rather have finished chapter 3 before uploading it.

Thank you for reading and see you next chapter (if you survived this first mess of an introduction ^^') !

(and of course, feel free to leave a comment ;) )