Title: Reflections and Opportunities
Summary: After four years of friendship, Harry and Severus celebrate their anniversary. Harry has feelings for Severus, but isn't sure how to tell him. Does Severus feel the same about him?
Rated: T (May change later)
Genre(s): Romance, Friendship
Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Warning(s): Slight angst and mature implications, nothing too graphic
Harry and Severus's four year anniversary was approaching quickly. Tomorrow, they will have been friends for four years already. Harry couldn't believe it. Time seemed to go by so fast now that he was older.
It was Harry's first year of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. He'd been stressed, and despite the experience he'd picked up during his fifth year, he'd had no idea what he was doing. He felt like a fraud, a failure, like he wasn't ready to hold hundreds of students' educations in his hands. He broke down on the Astronomy Tower one night, the night before he was supposed to give his students an exam that he hadn't written yet.
Severus had found him crying and, much to Harry's surprise, put their rocky history aside while he listened to Harry. He didn't make any snide or sarcastic comments, They'd gone back to the Potions Master's quarters a while later, and Severus had helped him write the exam. Their friendship developed fast after that night, and they had healed each other after losing so many people. Severus understood Harry's pain more than anyone else did. And he was one of the only people who treated him as Harry, not as the Boy Who Lived, or the Chosen One, or whatever titles the public wanted to give him. They quickly became best friends, but Harry's feelings continued to deepen until they had spiraled out of control.
He'd fallen in love with Severus. And while he was grateful - more than grateful - for Severus's friendship, he knew the Potions Master didn't return his feelings. The older man had never given any indication that he loved Harry the way Harry loved him, and though it hurt, Harry didn't want to lose him as a friend.
"What are you guys going to do tomorrow?" Hermione asked him, startling Harry out of his thoughts.
Harry brightened. "We're going to dinner in Muggle London," he told her. "I planned the evening, but Severus said he has a surprise for me afterwards. Strange."
Hermione smiled. "I'm happy for you two. You're really sweet."
"Thanks. I think so." Harry sighed. "I wish Severus did."
"Give it time, Harry," said Hermione. "It took me seven years to realize my feelings for Ron, remember? Don't stress over it. If it's meant to be, it'll happen."
"It hasn't happened yet," Harry pointed out, "and it's been four years."
"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Hermione suggested. "Tomorrow would be the perfect opportunity. Besides, you never know until you ask."
"I'm pretty sure I know." Tears filled Harry's eyes. He was too afraid to get his hopes up.
Changing the subject, Hermione asked, "So, what did you get him for your anniversary?"
"Oh, Hermione, I have to show you. It's perfect," said Harry excitedly, and took the box out of his robes pocket. "I picked it up in Hogsmeade today. I got him a Potions book too, but I think I hit the nail on the head with this one." He'd found a gorgeous pendant of a moon and the night sky, symbolizing that first conversation on the Astronomy Tower.
"Harry, it's beautiful," Hermione breathed. "Severus is going to love it."
"And what am I going to love?" Severus's deep baritone voice came from behind Harry.
Harry quickly tucked the box back into his robes before accepting a hug from Severus. "Your anniversary present, which you will receive tomorrow," Harry informed him when they pulled back.
Severus smiled. "I look forward to it. You will love yours as well." Harry smiled back.
Hermione rolled her eyes at the two. "I'll talk to you later, Harry," she said. Tell him, she mouthed before Apparating out of Hogwarts.
Harry considered her words. If he told Severus his feelings now, tomorrow could be a date. And how romantic would it be, to go on their first date on their 4 year anniversary of being friends?
But then, there was always that possibility, however small, that Severus would reject him. And Harry did not want to take that risk.
"Harry, I was wondering if you can help me with a potion tonight," Severus asked him.
"Sure," Harry said. As they began the walk back to Severus's lab, Harry looked over at him, only to find Severus already watching him. The older man smiled, and Harry's heart skipped a beat. Tell him. Hermione's words echoed through his brain again, but Harry couldn't quite bring himself to.
When they got to Severus's lab, the Potions Master opened his lab notebook. "I am working on a potion that will allow males to get pregnant," Severus informed him.
"Oh? That's wonderful," Harry approved. He leaned over to get a better look at the list of ingredients, and their fingers brushed. Sparks coursed through Harry's hand, and he quickly pulled away, his face burning as he went to retrieve the ingredients.
When they finished the potion, they went back to Harry's rooms for a game of chess. They had a wonderful evening, which was even better when Harry beat Severus twice.
But even so, Harry kept his eye on the clock. Severus usually got tired around eleven and would go back to his rooms for the night. It was ten thirty. If Harry wanted to tell Severus how he felt before tomorrow, he didn't have much longer to do so. His heart pounded in his chest at the thought. You may as well tell him, now that you've gotten yourself all worked up about it, Harry pointed out to himself.
He was trembling as Severus helped him clean up the chess board after their last game. He knew he would regret it if he didn't say something. But at the same time, he just couldn't.
When they were done cleaning up, he walked Severus out, deciding that he wasn't going to say anything. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. But he smiled in the doorway and said, "Goodnight, Severus."
"Goodnight, Harry," Severus said. After a moment, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek, dangerously close to his lips. Then, Severus was gone before Harry could say anything more.
Harry was so nervous that he was sweating by the time Severus knocked on his door. Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself to calm down before opening the door. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Severus, who was dressed in dark blue dress robes. They hugged his body in a way that instantly attracted attention, and his hair was pulled back in a ponytail. "Wow," Harry said. "You look amazing. I feel underdressed."
Severus actually blushed, which was a sight that Harry could definitely get used to. "Don't," he said, holding out his arm to Harry. "You look amazing as well." Harry was dressed in a black and white tuxedo, which Ron and Hermione had insisted on.
Harry smiled. "Thank you," he said, and took Severus's arm. His nerves instantly dwindled away, after he reminded himself that this was just Severus. This was an important night for them, but it didn't mean it was a date. Now came the part that Harry was truly nervous about - Apparating. Severus knew how much he hated it, so he always carried a vial of Pepper Up potion when he knew they would be Apparating somewhere together. "You have the potion, right?"
"I do," Severus replied. "Don't worry," He squeezed Harry's arm, sending sparks through Harry's arm and the rest of his body. "Ready?" he asked Harry. The younger man nodded, and they Apparated.
They landed a few blocks away from the restaurant, so Harry took his potion and then leaned against Severus for support as they strolled down the streets. It was dark outside already, and Harry could hear music playing from live musicians on the streets.
When they got to the restaurant, Harry gave them their reservation and the waitress led them to their table. After handing them their menus and taking their drink orders, she left them alone. "This place is...very romantic," Severus observed.
Harry felt his face heat up. "Oh...suppose it is," he said, avoiding Severus's gaze. There were candles lit on the table and soft music playing.
"Maybe you should come back some time and dine with the waitress," Severus said, motioning to a tiny piece of paper sticking out from under his silverware. Confused, Harry picked it up to find a phone number scrawled hastily in black ink.
"Even in a town full of Muggles, you do attract many females, don't you?" Severus was teasing, but Harry didn't miss the slight bitterness in his tone, and it gave Harry hope.
"It was just one," said Harry defensively, and Severus rolled his eyes as he opened his menu. "And I'm not interested."
"Why not?" Severus asked curiously. "She's pretty. She-"
"Doesn't interest me," Harry repeated. "I don't want to talk about women now, Severus. I want to enjoy my time with you."
They spent the evening reflecting back on their earliest memories of being friends, and even before then, about some of their arguments during Harry's school years. Harry loved that they could look back on it and laugh. He wished he could go back and tell teenaged Harry that his awful Potions teacher would become his best friend. What a shock that would be! He said as much to Severus, and earned a laugh from the Potions Master. He couldn't get enough of the older man's laughter.
After dinner, they went on a ferry ride before they had to return to Hogwarts. It was getting late, and Severus still wanted to show him his surprise. They had exchanged gifts at the restaurant - Harry had given him the book, but not the necklace, not yet. He wanted to wait until they were truly alone for that. Severus had gotten him a care kit for his Firebolt, and two tickets to the Chudley Cannons' game, which Harry was ecstatic about. And he was even more excited to go with Severus, who also enjoyed Quidditch.
When they got back to the castle, Harry was luckily too nauseous from Apparating to realize where Severus was taking him. So it was a surprise when Severus pushed open the door of the Astronomy Tower, which was all set up for them. There were candles lit, their flames dancing in the open breeze. A fondue set stood in the corner, and two chairs sat waiting for them by the balcony.
Harry gaped at Severus. "How long did this take you to set up?"
"The house-elves helped," Severus said, but his face was already turning red. "But mostly it was me."
"You're amazing." Harry hugged him tightly, reluctant to let go as he felt Severus's body rest against his. The Potions Master held him close, and Harry sighed happily, burying his face in Severus's hair. "This is the perfect time to give you my second gift," Harry said when they finally pulled away.
"Second gift? Harry-" Severus started, but Harry held up a hand to stop him as he reached into his pocket with his other hand. He pulled out the box and handed it to Severus.
"I wanted to. Open it," Harry insisted.
Severus pulled off the lid, and gasped when he saw the pendant. "Harry..." He lifted it carefully out of its box and stared at Harry in awe. "This is beautiful. It's...it's perfect..."
Harry smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I was thinking it could symbolize our first night here, that night you found me crying. And instead of fighting with me, you helped me. You listened to me. You were there for me when no one else was, and I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciated it. How much I still do. So, this is the least I could do to thank you."
"Harry, you don't need to thank me," Severus said. "It is I who should be thanking you. When I first heard you were coming to Hogwarts, I thought of course, he's James's son, he's going to be the same arrogant prat his father was. And when I saw you that night in the Great Hall, and watched you be Sorted into Gryffindor, I marveled at how much you looked like him. Except your eyes. Lily's eyes."
"That night, during the war," Harry said, "when you almost died..."
Severus nodded. "I thought I was going to die. I had to tell you how wrong I had been about you, at least in some way," he admitted. "I learned while I watched you grow up over the years that it was exhausting to hold a grudge against someone, especially someone who didn't deserve it. I realized that you were more like your mum than your dad, and I was embarrassed. But then the war came, and I realized that life was too short. Even after the war, I still had no idea how to approach you, and ask for your forgiveness. That night...exactly four years ago, in this spot, I found the opportunity to become your friend. And I took that opportunity." Severus swallowed, and stepped closer to Harry. He was so close that Harry could see the specks of chocolate brown and hazel in his eyes, those eyes that he knew better than his own. "I want to be with you, Harry," Severus whispered softly, and Harry stared at him in shock. Surely he'd misunderstood. "You heard me. Life is indeed too short, and I want all the time in the world to spend with you, to love you. I love you, Harry James Potter, as more than a best friend, and I can't continue to go through each day without you knowing that, even if you hate me for the rest of my life."
Harry's mouth fell open. "How could I hate you?" he asked. He took Severus's hands and pulled him close, his heart racing in his chest as Severus's arms wrapped around his waist. "You've been the best thing about my life for four years, and no one understands me better than you do. I love you, Severus Tobias Snape. I could never hate you for loving me."
Severus smiled, and after Harry helped him put on the necklace, the younger man's gaze drifted down to Severus's lips. In a sudden, bold move, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Severus's.
Soft. Warm. Delicious. Severus's lips were addictive, and Harry knew he would never be able to get enough of his kisses. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's neck, pressing closer to him. Severus held him tightly, and kissed him back with a passion Harry never knew he had. His hands gripped Harry's hips, and Harry gasped as Severus's tongue brushed against his lower lip. His heart racing, he opened his mouth for Severus and didn't stop him as he stroked Harry's tongue with his own, and then moved farther back into his mouth to explore. Severus tasted like the wine and chocolate they'd had earlier, and there was a unique taste that was purely Severus. Severus's tongue twisted around his own and Harry moaned,
the heat between them growing. "Come back to my rooms with me," Harry panted into his mouth. It was a bold move, he knew. They were both adults who had hidden their feelings for a long time, and Harry was sure Severus would pick up on the hidden meaning in his invitation.
Silence stretched on, and Harry could see the conflicting emotions in Severus's gorgeous eyes. Finally, Severus said, "Okay."
The next morning, Harry woke up to bright sunlight stabbing him in the eyes. He opened his eyes, groaning, to find himself curled up against Severus's naked body.
Sighing happily, Harry snuggled back against his lover and closed his eyes again. He never wanted to get out of this bed, if he could help it. Severus began to stir, and Harry smiled up at him when he opened his eyes. "Good morning," Harry said, and brushed a lock of soft, silky hair out of Severus's eyes.
His lover smiled and pulled Harry close. "Good morning to you too, my brat," he said. That was one of his many nicknames for Harry.
"Your brat," Harry agreed, smiling back and flopping against the pillow as Severus rolled onto his side.
"Indeed." Severus leaned in for a kiss, which Harry happily returned. The Potions Master's kisses were filled with such passion that Harry wanted to melt into a puddle.
"I love you," Harry breathed when they pulled back. That was likely the thousandth time he'd said that in the last twelve hours. They'd repeated those three words to each other throughout the night as they had given everything they had to each other.
Severus smiled. "I could get used to hearing that," he said, his eyes sparkling.
Harry grinned back and leaned forward to whisper in Severus's ear. "I love you," he repeated, and felt the older man shiver as he moved his hand down Severus's bare stomach, feeling his hard muscles under his fingertips.
"And I love you," Severus replied, and Harry's heart fluttered as Severus's hand rested on his waist, pulling him close against the body of the Potions Master.
AN: Hey guys, I'm so sorry I haven't written anything in a while, my life has been crazy right now. But I am excited to let you guys know that I am currently writing the first chapter of a sequel to "Occlumency Lessons". Also, let me know if you want me to turn this story into a series or if you like it just as a oneshot. It can go either way as of now. For now though, I hope you enjoyed this and Happy Holidays! :)
