Prologue:
The air crackled every time he thought about leaving her, the sense of betrayal traveled to her like water flowing down her body in the shower.
"What are you thinking about Edward?" asked Bella, doubt traced her voice in a shaking tone. She looked down as her hand entwined in his, as they lay together in her room.
"Nothing, I was just wondering what Charlie's doing in the kitchen. He doesn't actually cook does he?" Edward lied to her. The banging of pans and Charlie's cursing could just barely be heard upstairs.
Bella knew better. She was not the smartest girl, nor was she able to say she had mastered all the delicate controls of her fine motor skills, but she knew how to read people, whether living or dead. She let go of his hand and walked to the bathroom, leaving the door open.
She looked into the mirror, a little shaky, and smiled at herself as if trying to reassure herself that Edward would not lie to her.
"I don't know, I think he tried to cook something once, but he got food poisoning or something and he's been eating at the diner in town ever since." she said trying to make herself laugh a little. Only a whispered sigh escaped.
Edward chuckled and said, "You know, I can see that." He pushed his true thoughts aside and started to walk to Bella.
"You are so beautiful" he whispered in her ear, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and looked at her in the mirror.
She could feel the lie sink into her bones, but it did make her feel better. Bella touched the face behind her and sighed, "You're the beautiful one."
Bella could not deal with her feelings. Edward had tried leaving before and she almost died, but this was worse. He was not there with her in his mind; she knew his focus was on some other place or person whenever they were together. She had a ghost with her instead of the boyfriend she wanted. She was lost in the reflection in the mirror; she could never see him give anything away. His eyes looking into hers always made it hard for her to say anything at all.
"I'm going with Carlisle to the Reservation tonight. Would you like to come?" Edward asked, smiling at her in the mirror. Her face had fallen and gotten lost in thought, sometimes he wished he could read her mind; maybe then it would be easier to let her go.
Bella turned to face him and pecked him on the cheek. "No, it's late I'm going to stay here with Charlie. Tell Jacob I said hi, will you?"
"Of course, bye Bella, I love you." He lied again, but he couldn't stop himself from saying it. The term had become some sort of routine that reassured him.
Edward jumped from Bella's window into the rainy night; he could hear thunder in the distance as he raced home against falling water and the wind. He always thought that he would not feel this bad after living for over a hundred years. Edward felt shame, but most of all guilt for who he was, who he loved, and how he always ended up damaging girls who did not deserve it.
Though his heart cannot beat, Edward felt the aching in his chest as the rain drenched him and the lighting struck in the distance.
