Disclaimer: Anything recognizable belongs to Monkey Punch.

Note: If you read this story a while back and noticed the lack of page breaks, I have since gone back and fixed this after my usual page breaks disappeared. The lines aren't pretty, but hopefully they won't disappear anytime soon.


I'm going to kill them, Jigen thought. His trigger finger subconsciously twitched in agreement.

It had been about eight hours since they had arrived in this rainforest with an old and rotting map, six hours since the local crime lord and his gang had found them rummaging through an old tomb looking for ancient treasure, and five hours since Jigen had watched as Lupin and Goemon flew away in their tiny rental plane.

Oh yes, I am going to kill them, he thought bitterly as he swatted at a mosquito buzzing around his head.

"Ugh," came a voice from behind him, "these bugs are driving me crazy!"

Jigen growled and swatted at the blood-suckers a bit more forcefully than was really necessary. He could hear Fujiko fighting her own battle with the insects behind him. If he hadn't been being eaten alive himself he would have taken the time to point and laugh at her. Childish as the action would have been, he was absolutely convinced that she deserved no less at this point.

"You know," he settled for saying, "if you hadn't sold us out we wouldn't be in this mess. You have no one to blame but yourself."

Jigen could almost hear her eyes harden behind his back. He ignored the urge to look behind him and instead took off his hat and wiped his forehead. The bugs didn't bother him as much as the killer humidity. He could feel his clothes sticking to him in uncomfortable ways, which just made his foul mood that much worse.

Fujiko wasn't helping matters much either. "You know damn well that if Lupin hadn't panicked and lifted off when he did-"

"What the hell were you expecting?" Jigen finally whirled around, a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "That we would just wait around calmly while LeCroix and his goons used us as target practice?"

Fujiko, to her credit, didn't waver an inch under Jigen's intense glare. "If he had LISTENED to me we would have been just fine and you know it!"

Jigen barked out a harsh laugh. "Does it take practice to be this delusional, or is this a natural talent of your's? The damned plan was simple: go in, get the gold, get out and live happily ever after. You were the one that had to go and make this difficult."

"And you can't see an opportunity when it's right underneath your overgrown nose!" Fujiko snapped back. "If we had pulled this off we would have made off with the gold AND an extra two million to show for it!"

Jigen could feel the beginnings of a stress headache starting to pound its way into his head. "Just when were you going to let us in on this little plan of your's? Before or after LeCroix gave us a few extra holes?" he spat back at her.

She didn't seem to have a comeback for that. On his mental scoreboard Jigen marked a point under his name.

"Come on," he muttered and turned back around. "It'll be dark soon, and I'd like to put as much distance as I can between us and the tomb. You still have the transmitter, yeah?"

"Of course," Fujiko said as they began their trek forward once again. "I'm not an idiot, you know."

"Coulda fooled me."

Jigen just barely ducked out of the way in time to miss the mud ball she threw at him.


By the time night time came Jigen was too worn out to fight with Fujiko anymore. The same seemed to hold true for her, which he was eternally grateful for. He didn't think his sanity could survive another standoff with the infernal woman.

"Damnit," he growled as Fujiko laid some branches down for a fire. "My cigarettes are ruined." He looked forlornly at the soggy package in his hand. "This day just keeps getting better and better."

"Nice to see that your priorities are straight," Fujiko mumbled. "Be a gentleman and help me with this fire, would you?"

Jigen pocketed his cigarettes with a sad sigh. The oncoming nicotine withdrawal would be killer, he just knew it.

"Geez," he said as he fished out his lighter. "Did you try to find the soggiest pieces of wood?"

"Hey, you try to find anything dry in this swamp," Fujiko snapped. She opened her arms and gestured around her for emphasis.

Jigen just grunted in response; it was better than admitting that she was right. Instead he flicked his lighter at the damp wood. After a few tries the flame seemed to catch for a couple of seconds to just die away again. He growled in frustrated as time after time the same result happened.

"Use the bark."

Jigen looked up at Fujiko. "Use the what?"

"Bark," she jabbed at one of the drier pieces of wood with her foot. "Don't tell me that you don't know any basic survival skills."

"You generally don't need to know any of this wilderness crap in cities," he defended himself. It was true, though. His years as a mobster didn't exactly require an outdoorsman course. Regardless, he tried her suggestion. When the bark lit within the next two tries he couldn't help but feel a little grateful to Fujiko, as much as he didn't want to.

"Know any other useful tips?" he asked as he tried to warm himself. The suffocating heat of the day had given way to the freezing temperatures of night. As ill-dressed as he was for the daytime temperatures, he was suddenly grateful that he didn't take Lupin's advice and dress in shorts and a t-shirt. At least the suit would keep him a little warmer.

Fujiko shrugged and scooted as close as she could to the slowly growing fire. "Just some basics and what I read in that survival manual I found in the plane. Too bad I didn't keep it on me."

Jigen grunted in agreement. "Well, we'll need every advantage we can get until Lupin and Goemon can get a fix on that transmitter."

Fujiko nodded and hugged herself. Silence descended upon the two, amplifying the sounds of night time creatures scuttling about all around them unseen. It didn't bother Jigen one bit; worse comes to worse, he could just blow away anything that tried to eat them.

A strange chattering sound found its way to his ears after a long period of silence. It took Jigen a couple of minutes of careful listening to figure out exactly what it was. He looked over the rapidly dying fire to see Fujiko trying hard to fight against the shivers, but her chattering teeth and bare legs and arms told another story.

Jigen sighed. As tempting as it was to let her suffer the cold, he couldn't find it in himself to hate her that much. He got to his feet and reluctantly draped his mostly dry jacket over her shivering form.

"Don't read too much into it," he said when she looked up at him in surprise. "Consider it a payment for your survival skills. I'm still royally pissed off at you."

"Well, thanks, I supposed," Fujiko warily said after a minute. She wrapped the jacket tighter around herself. Jigen felt a pang of regret at the loss of his jacket, but he let his nicer side win just this one time.

"Think nothing of it," Jigen said as he found a dry piece of ground. "Just try to get some sleep. I have a feeling that we'll need all the rest we can get."

If she said anything more, Jigen didn't hear it. The more paranoid part of him wanted to stay awake to make sure that she didn't run off and betray him again. The greater part of him, though, somehow just knew that she wouldn't try it tonight, so he allowed himself to give into the sleep he so desperately needed.