~ VALENTINE CRISIS ~

Summary:

"VOOOOOOI, I don't want this guy!" Exactly what happens when the Vongola, Varia, and Dino are gathered for a Valentine love game. And it was all right until..."Wait, what do you mean I have to confess to him?!" Love is in the air.

Prologue~

Target 01:

"Retry, please?"


"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOI!"

Almost everybody present in the Vongola meeting room nearly winced in alarm from Squalo's obnoxiously loud voice. It didn't help that the room was exceedingly large, so his shout echoed and bounced off the walls. Two Mafia groups were present: Varia, Vongola, and then there was Dino. But that wasn't including the Arcobalenos sitting around behind a long, rectangular table with slightly amused expressions on their faces. In the silver-haired swordsman's hand was a slip of paper he had pulled out moments ago from the small box in Reborn's hands.

"VOOOOI, I don't want this guy!" Squalo shouted, throwing a glare at the Vongola members standing on their side of the room. Even though they had been called together for a Valentine's Day activity, courtesy of Reborn, they had separated themselves into their groups. The only guy who wasn't huddled with his family was Dino, and he was now casually sitting with the Vongola family. "I don't want—"

"You're not allowed to say the name of the person you picked," Reborn informed him, shaking the miniature treasure chest filled with fourteen pieces of paper lightly. "But if you like, you may have a second chance at choosing."

Squalo stared at the piece of paper in his quivering hand, reading the name a million times over, before shaking his head stubbornly. "I might get someone worse," he scowled, his words resided to mumbles as he started muttering to himself, "Getting this nitwit, huh? Great…"

The Arcobaleno's lips curled wryly as he shifted his focus on each member present in the meeting suite, causing the murmurs and snide glances to cease in abundance. The other extraordinary babies perched on their high-backed leather chairs and surveyed the groups with equally intense and frowning gazes. Reborn tapped the box with the names in it, bringing attention to himself immediately. "Next we will have Yamamoto Takeshi from the Vongola Famiglia to participate in this round." The rain guardian grinned, the arched scar on his chin differentiating between his younger self's carefree smile and his now laid-back yet calculating brown eyes. The chest was now passed from Squalo to him, and with an anticipating noise and a beaming laugh, Yamamoto cautiously extended a hand into the lid.

With hushed breaths, the room stilled. Tsuna's hands twitched, his whole body agreeing with tension, and he shot a nervous but disapproving look at the smirking sun Arcobaleno. Reborn merely returned his accusatory gaze with a prompt tilt of the fedora over his eye. The brunet groaned inwardly, reverting his attention to his rain guardian.

Yamamoto was frowning as he undid the tightly folded piece of paper. The others waited impatiently for the result. Instead of searching the room for his candidate like the mafia families expected him to, he looked at Reborn with an apologetic grin. "Yahh, may I have a second chance? I don't think - " he paused to glance at the name, much to the others' chagrin, and continued with a non-offending and humble tone, "I don't think this will go over very well." He grinned again, scratching the back of his head.

To this, Tsuna couldn't help but feel a little curious as to what name Yamamoto had picked out. He squinted at the paper, trying to catch a glimpse of it, only to fail miserably. Reborn had nodded, and Yamamoto gratefully stuffed the paper back into the box. Waiting with bated breath, they watched as Yamamoto bit down on the inside of his cheek, swirling his hand around in the box. Then, he swiftly yanked his slip of paper out. Almost as if dreading the name ready to be read, he charily turned his head to the side and peeked from the corner of his right eye.

"Oh," was all he said. Even though an anxious smile tugged at his lips, most of the room could tell Yamamoto was still uneasy with his pick. "Ehh, I really can't choose again?"

"Nope," was Reborn's curt reply.

Yamamoto chose to laugh it off, which relieved some of the tension in the room. "I guess it can't be helped then." He hastily stowed the now-folded piece of paper into his pocket and returned to Tsuna's side. The brunet bit down harshly on his own tongue to keep from asking who he got; he knew this was all part of the fun. Well, according to Reborn anyway. Tsuna didn't find the idea of choosing a random person from a box to be entertaining at all. What if he had gotten someone who would love nothing more than to gun him down straight away? He gulped, eyes traveling over to a certain tall, black-haired, scarred man on the other side of the room. Xanxus didn't notice him, so he was safe for now. Tsuna stiffened again when the Arcobaleno's voice piped up,

"Let's have Lussuria from the Varia Famiglia come up and draw a name."

"Oh my!" the sun guardian exclaimed with glee, clasping his hands together and clinking the rings he wore on his fingers. Ryohei waved merrily at him and Lussuria blew a chaste kiss to the hyperactive guardian of the Vongola, causing various disgruntled reactions to ensue like chain-mail. He swayed to the stand in which the box was placed upon and lifted a hand to paw through the papers gingerly. The rest of the group cantered into a bout of conversations, breaking the silence that was earlier bestowed upon Squalo and Yamamoto. Clearly they were less interested in Lussuria's pick, although, of course, each varied in hope that he would be lucky enough to escape being snatched up by the obviously gay necrophiliac.

"Ushishishi," Bel snickered as he swiveled around in his seat, straddling the chair with his back facing the Varia sun guardian. It was a rare occasion for the Vongola and Varia, including the Bucking Bronco from the Chiavarone family, to gather in such a place - usually they'd meet in a chaotic battlefield. Honestly, the blond would've preferred to have met with the Vongola on such an occasion. This supposed gathering to commemorate the upcoming lovers' day was really a waste of time. What did that have to do with the best of the best independent assassination squad, anyway? Bel hummed boredly, resting his chin on his chair as he looked around.

"Oooh~" Lussuria's whimsical smile was almost too wide for his face. He swayed his hips a little as he sauntered back to where he had been sitting before. "I don't think I can get luckier than this!"

Bel raised an eyebrow behind his golden locks of hair; he could only guess who Lussuria got, but he prayed that it wasn't him. As his eyes traveled around the room once more, they landed on the Vongola boss's right hand man – Gokudera, he believed his name was. Their eyes met for a split second, but just in that moment, Bel flashed him a cocky smile and Gokudera scowled, turning away to strike up a conversation with Tsuna. But the brunet was too stressed to even give a straight answer back.

Tsuna sighed, trying his best to smile at his aged right-hand man, the latter's brows having been constantly furrowed. He didn't want to be called next. It'd be best if I got one of my family members, he thought optimistically. It at least made him feel a bit better about this game.

"Anyone want to go next?" Reborn asked politely, and Tsuna had almost shifted uneasily over his foot at the unwarranted courtesy had it not been for the Arcobaleno's swift cut through the murmurs, "All right, I guess we will have to - " Reborn paused just as the door to the meeting room slid open and a certain steely-gazed cloud guardian arrived stoically beside the automatic entrance. Hibari took one look at the adjoined families and instantly swiveled on his feet, effectively turning his back on the people. "...We will have to call up Hibari Kyoya of the Vongola Family," Reborn finished coyly, a barely restrained curl of lips spreading over his face. "Ciaossu, Hibari. You're late," he acknowledged the indifferent cloud guardian.

Dino got up from his seat besides the tenth boss of the Vongola and strode over to the doors, a dazzling grin evident on his face as he saw the dark-haired disciplinary officer. "Com'on in, Kyoya. It's your turn," he said, moving forward to guide his ex-student in. Hibari stood rigid with his lips pursed.

"I hate crowding."

The older blond gave him a hopeless look which signified that the latter still hadn't matured. "Don't tell me you're afraid of being paired up on Valentine's Day," he teased.

At this, Hibari sent him a warning glower. Only Dino would dare use that to make him stay. Closing his eyes in frustration, a silent battle ensued inside his head, but in the end, he whirled around and stomped past Dino. "I'll bite you to death later for this," he grumbled under his breath as he paused in front of Reborn. The baby smiled cunningly up at him, holding the box out invitingly. Hibari only stared at it for a few seconds before slowly reaching in. His expression remained unfathomable as he pulled a name out. His glare deepened impossibly further as he read it.

When the stoic guardian remained silent, Reborn inquired, "Would you like to choose again?"

Hibari's gaze automatically fell on Dino as if daring him to say something cheeky. The only thing the Bucking Bronco did, however, was to flash him a broad smile. Hibari secretly rolled his eyes before pushing the name back in the box, lips moving in a silent wish that he would get someone more appealing. The moment he read the second name, Hibari's eyebrow arched in slight interest. The notion was barely noticeable, however.

Tsuna almost toppled over his chair trying to peek over the dark-haired man's shoulder. He held in resigned humiliation when Hibari's cobalt eyes flickered over his face, almost as if in instinct upon the prodding stares. The brunet sweated: no way, does that mean Hibari-san chose me? Not far from him, someone else had reacted in a similar fashion - that someone being the heavily dark-browed lightning guardian of the Varia. His forehead shone with a sheen of sweat coating the tan skin and his disastrously plump lips quivered slightly as he caught the sharp gaze of the fluffy-haired cloud guardian. Sitting beside the visibly shaken Levi, Bel snickered under his breath as he snidely aimed a kick at him under the oak table.

"Ow! What do you think you're doing, Belphegor!" Levi hissed, wincing as he clutched his left calf, throwing a glare at the blond.

Bel leaned back with a sneer, "How pathetic, old pervert."

Levi's face screwed up in anger. "Who are you calling a pervert?" he barked, drawing the other side's attention towards the pair. Bel merely continued to grin as Levi guiltily endured quite a poisonous glare from the Varia boss. Reborn seemed to notice the other lightning guard sweating immensely, and maybe out of sheer pity, he called out,

"Perhaps we should let Levi A. Than from the Varia side to choose this round."

The bulky guardian looked infinitely appreciative as he hastily rushed over to where Reborn was, all the while trying to appear unaffected by Xanxus's calculating stare. Unbeknownst to the others, his hand was shaking faintly as he groped inside the box. Xanxus didn't show it, but he was all for Levi not picking his name out. He couldn't stand his subordinate obsessing over him, if it wasn't obvious already.

Levi's face had fallen as he read the name, and with his mouth wide agape, he looked at Reborn for support. "What is this?! Boss's name is not on here!" Not a split second later, he was unceremoniously clunked on the head by a thick wad of paper that splayed over the floor upon contact. Lal Mirch was twitching ominously with her eyes shut forcefully and her arms crossed over her chest. She alone was sitting straight on her chair, having been born as an incomplete Arcobaleno, and now she bore a venomous aura about her.

"Get going," she hissed.

Reborn smirked as he looked towards Levi. "Retry, Varia's lightning guardian?"

Levi stood spitefully as he saw his boss's eyes narrow at him. What a disgrace, to be unguarded in plain view - and in the boss's perception, no less! The lightning guardian shook his head gruffly and he cracked the uncomfortable strains on his neck, causing the scrawny tenth Vongola boss to look at him wearily. Yes, a success, Levi thought excitedly, glancing for his boss's approval. He didn't find it; instead the crimson-eyed boss of Varia was heedlessly shoving Bel's legs off of the rectangular table with his own, rather longer ones.

The blond hissed, "Shishishi~, this is the Prince's territory, boss. It's pre-claimed!"

Xanxus merely smirked all too familiarly. "Shut up."

If there was an occasion that called for an epic face-palming, it was now. But Levi resisted the strong urge to shuffle dejectedly back to his seat, ignoring Bel as the blond tried repetitively to steal his spot back on the table from Xanxus. After a session of playing (or fighting) footsies on top of the table, Bel slumped back against his chair, crossing his legs huffily and wearing a small, stubborn pout on his face. Back on the other side of the room, Gokudera nudged Tsuna in the ribs a bit too hard, and the latter jolted in alarm,

"Ehhh?"

"Least now we know who he didn't get, huh, Juudaime?" he asked as cheerfully as he could.

Tsuna shook his head. "But now it means he could've gotten any of us." The petite brunet slid down in his seat a little. "I wish we could get this over with already…"

Dino shuffled back to his seat next to the brunet after he gave his stony ex-student a half-convincing gesture to get him to cooperate with the room brewing with unwanted herbivores. Hibari only returned the halfhearted notion with a piercing glare and a small smirk, knowing full well that the Chiavarone boss was soon to give up. The cloud guardian continued to lean idly against the steel frame of the door, some feet away from the Arcobalenos. With a sigh accompanying a grimace, Dino slowly sat down, though he was sure to maintain an undaunted grin when the others spoke to him.

Up close to the stand, Levi steadied himself by meditating in his mind. This time he'd be sure to pick his special someone. Yes, boss will be most pleased with this success of Levi's personal mission. With trembling fingers, the lightning guardian tousled around the papers, searching relentlessly for that one piece...aha! He had found it; the feel of this paper was helplessly calling for him. Levi grinned toothily as his hand emerged with the name, and -

"What is this?!" he exclaimed as his eyes ogled the paper. "Why did I get F - oof!"

For at that exact, life-threatening moment, Levi was knocked unconscious by a strange, lime-colored baton swishing through air and landing objectively on the top of his head.

"Now, let's continue." Reborn smiled as if he had not just knocked someone into a comatose. "Gokudera, step up and choose your victim."

Tsuna made a face, but his right-hand man leapt up to his feet, giving the Vongola boss a quick thumbs-up. "Don't worry, Juudaime! I'll get someone good, just watch!" Before Tsuna could wave his hands in front of him to say that it didn't matter who Gokudera got, the other had already rushed up and eagerly started shuffling through the box. Everyone in the room was rather astounded when Gokudera pulled out more than one name; apparently, the storm guardian was surprised, too. He reddened slightly, having embarrassed himself in front of Tsuna. "Oops."

He returned a few slips back, save for one. Inhaling deeply, he unfolded the piece of paper, and the moment he did, his face broke into a wide smile. "I—" The smile was wiped off his face when Reborn snatched the slip from Gokudera's hand, shoving it back into the box. The silver-haired man protested with wide, surprised eyes, "Hey! I wanted that!"

Reborn didn't respond. He had fallen asleep in a strange position, with a nonchalant smile on his lips and his arm holding out the box, almost as if tempting Gokudera to pick another name. The self-proclaimed right-hand man of the Vongola twitched, not liking this turn of events. Yet, this was the Reborn-san who had watched over the tenth boss of the Vongola...it could be proclaimed a challenge. Gokudera steeled himself, clenching his eyes shut as he extracted a piece of paper from the treasure chest. Yes, he would show everyone, including the Juudaime, that his loyalty would never waver and his heart was dead-set.

He didn't know that that was exactly how Levi had acted (and thought) not a few minutes ago.

Gokudera peeked through an eye. And immediately wished he hadn't. One second later he was bawling at the top of his lungs at the evil of it all, at how the box had betrayed him, also that God had never been so unkind, and also that he was going to sign a death contract with a death-god at this rate. The whole room had burst into arguments and complaints about Gokudera's sudden behavior, but most of all with curiosity at whom he had gotten that aroused the families so.

"You get your pick, now move on, kora!"

Gokudera knew that it was useless to argue, especially now that Colonello had personally began glaring impatient daggers at him. With the feeling of the world bearing down on his shoulders, Gokudera staggered back to his place beside the short Vongola boss, utterly defeated. A cloud of depression hung gloomily over him as deriding snickers from the Varia side could be heard, but Tsuna knew that his friend would get over it soon.

…Hopefully.

Nonetheless, he patted Gokudera on the back encouragingly. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

Tsuna should have known there was no need to uplift his right-hand man's spirit. Right away, after saying those words, Gokudera's eyes were literally shining with stars, either out of hope or from crying. "If you say so, Juudaime!" His eyes traveled back to the paper in his fist and he tightened his hold with a renewing will. "I knew it was a challenge! You won't be disappointed in me, Juudaime!"

"Ah...hah..." Tsuna stifled the temptation to inform his resilient storm guardian that it he wouldn't be disappointed likewise.

"Now, we shall have Fran from the Varia," Reborn announced. Everyone present in the Vongola family sought the languid huddle of the assassination squad for the light, green-haired mist guardian.

Fran glanced lazily at the podium, ignoring the curious stares derived from the ones not part of the Varia. He looked at the blond genius and asked vacantly, "Do I really have to, senpaaai?" The Varia boss would not bother to answer, so he asked the maniacal Prince the Ripper instead.

Bel smirked slyly. "Isn't it obvious, my unpleasant froggy subordinate?"

"Well, I don't particularly like getting - woompf!" Fran cried out as a foot nowhere-to-be-seen-before lashed out from behind and knocked him headfirst over and across his table, successfully making him sprawl in a painful heap on the hard, tiled floor. "...Ow." Mumbling discourteous insults directed to his peers, he peeled himself off the ground and dragged his feet over to Reborn, patting his frog hat to make sure it was still on his head (although he wouldn't have minded if it had fallen off). With his usual blank facade, he plucked a name out of the box without thinking it over.

His green eyes flickered over the name and without even the slightest change of expression, he flipped the paper back into the box and reached in for another. This time, his eyes widened visibly. "Ah," his lips parted and he glanced back at the Varia members as if asking for their support. "I don't think this will work out…in my favor, I mean."

Bel leered at him. "Just take the name, idiot." As Fran obediently shuffled back to his seat without another word, Bel pushed his fist into the top of Fran's hat, causing the green-haired subordinate to bob his head slightly. "Shishishi~, who'd ya get?"

"I'm not about to tell you, fake-Prince senpai." This earned him an idle twirl of a knife as the weapon stabbed into his back.

"Next we shall have Sawada Tsunayoshi, the tenth generation boss of the Vongola," Reborn informed grandly, his wide black orbs glinting inexplicably at the prospect.

Tsuna gulped from his seat as eyes immediately landed on his own, and as the sun Arcobaleno tapped the box impatiently, he sighed and gradually went up to the stand. The brunet yelped when Reborn pinched his ear without warning as he stood undecidedly before the box, causing snickers to erupt and a certain silver-haired follower to yell curses at everyone. "Reborn!" Tsuna cried as he glared at the smirking baby heatedly.

"Well, why don't you choose, dame-Tsuna?" was his response.

"Well," Tsuna complained, rubbing his ear, "I was about to when you – okay, never mind. Can I have the box?" Reborn nattily pushed it closer to him and Tsuna tentatively waited before wavering his hand over it. He felt like the papers had a life to them, and that any second, one of them would jump up and bite his hand. He gnawed on his bottom lip as he fished one out, holding his breath as he read it.

"HIIIII!" Tsuna's slip of paper floated out of his hands as he jumped from the shock of seeing the name. He hurriedly tried to catch it before it touched the ground, ignoring the spiteful chuckles emitting from the Varia corner. Tsuna held the paper close to his chest like he was paranoid that someone had seen it. Looking at it again, he made sure he had read right. "Reborn, can I…?" his voice faltered as Reborn yanked the box out of his arm's reach. The Arcobaleno smirked.

"Yes, you may keep it. Now we'll –"

"Reborn! That's not what I was going to say!"

"—have Belphegor from the Varia to choose."

"Ushishishi~." Tsuna was pushed out of the way by the gracefully exuberant genius and he stumbled back a step. "Oops, didn't see you there, Vongola," Bel said mockingly, grinning widely as he towered over the short brunet.

"I-it's okay..."

Bel stuck a hand into the box and swerved around the papers, feeling them lightly and tracing his fingers over the names. The blond smirked as he retreived one from the treasure chest, yet before his hand was fully out, he stopped midway, thereby barring anyone and even himself from reading the piece of paper. He could feel the intently curious stares on him now, and with a looming grin tugging his lips, he dropped the paper back into the box. Had the room been full of entertainment-goers, the audience would have "awww"ed and settled for wimpy and disappointed grunts. But because there were fourteen Mafiosi, not including the Arcobalenos, the blond was prey to loud exclamations and deadly glares.

"WAAAH, that's an EXTREME move!" There went one.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI, are you cheating us, Bel?!" Hmm, another one.

The blond shot the others a smug grin. "Ushishishi~. Nah, I'm just a genius," he said conversationally and delicately picked out another name from the box, mirroring Reborn's smirk with one of his own. This time, he chose to see the name scrawled on the slip. Bel laughed, now holding the folded paper between his index and middle finger as he glanced at Reborn through his unruly golden bangs. "I don't suppose I may choose another one?" This earned the blond many more lethal glares from the watchers.

Tsuna had returned to his seat and was now waiting warily for Reborn's response. He was mightily shocked when he heard an instant reply of: 'you may.' "EHH? Reborn!"

"Shush, baka-Tsuna."

Bel snickered, tossing his pick back into the treasure box. Mixing the pieces around with his hand, he deftly drew another name out. His smirk flipped upside down and he sighed dramatically. "The Prince must have bad luck to choose the same name twice." As he strode back towards his seat, he toed the still body of Levi with his foot. "Must've rubbed off from him. Shishishi~"

There were chatters now, and with a bang of Reborn's un-silenced Leon gun which aimed precisely for a certain brunet's head (and which the latter had performed a series of ultra complicated Matrix rapid movements to escape the dangers of), the room had quieted down for the next candidate. The participants watched as smoke dissipated in a flimsy grey smoke from the barrel of the loaded gun, which then transformed into the diaphanous reptile named Leon. "A few more to go, my friends," Reborn said steadily, smirking. "Now, why don't we have Rokudo...Mukuro from the Vongola family?"

There was a clatter of numerous things, and an aniticipated second later, the mellow Chrome of the Vongola was lost in a faze of blue mist.

"Kufufu, what is all this commotion?"

Now instead of the girl, Mukuro was standing there, trident in hand as he stifled in a yawn with the back of his gloved hand. Hibari twitched in growing annoyance at the appearance of his nemesis, but the blue-haired male didn't seem to notice the other in the far side of the room. Reborn smiled at the illusionist.

"Ciaossu! Nice of you to join us."

Mukuro returned the smile with a light-hearted smirk as he brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Chrome didn't really explain why I was here, but…" he cast a glance at the box in Reborn's hands. "Karma has its ways, won't you agree?" As he strode over to choose a name, he finally became aware of the dark-haired man glaring at him. He dared to throw him a grin, which only caused Hibari to tremble in reticent anger. Not bothering to make this choose spectacular, the mist guardian poked his hand into the box and took a quick scan at the name. An amused smile broke on his lips,

"Kufufu, not bad. I can live with this." The lean male intentionally kept his gaze on Hibari as he ambled back to his seat, causing the latter to plead silently in his head, hoping against hope that Mukuro had not chosen him. Hibari placed a mental reminder note at the back of his head to bite that herbivore to death later on.

"A-ah, Mukuro," Tsuna said with surprise enlarged in his eyes, his gaze following the lithe mist guardian's path away from the podium. The mismatched eyes flickered over his face as the brunet managed a firm smile in welcome. Mukuro nodded, the faint shadow of a smirk creeping across his lips.

"Vongola."

"Was Ven - " Tsuna was about to prod the matters of the mafia prison, though he hated to mention the mere name of the infamous imprisonment, when Gokudera suddenly growled menacingly at the mist guardian.

"Rokudo Mukuro, don't you dare apprehend Juudaime's kindness," he snarled, frowning at the illusionist. Mukuro's eyebrow quirked gracefully as he hovered over Tsuna's table, hand gripping trident. It would have appeared that he was about to retort with a cunning reply, but a second thought ceased the notion of doing so. He smirked instead.

"My, what a happy couple," Mukuro mused, seating himself where Chrome had once sat, disregarding the look of fury and humiliation upon Gokudera's face. Words seemed to escape the silver-haired man, however. Mukuro didn't want to go back just yet; he wanted to see the rest of this before going back to… Well, he let the idea drift. Reborn's voice piped up again,

"Let's just get this over with, shall we? Vongola's sun guardian, Ryohei, will choose next."

Ryohei leapt to his feet, an excited glare in his eyes as he pumped his fist into the air. "I'll choose an EXTREMELY awesome person to be my Valentine's Day date!" Tsuna watched as the platinum-blond charged towards Reborn. Ryohei halted in time so that he wouldn't crash into the Arcobaleno, and he proceeded to shove a bandaged fist inside the box, confidently trying to find his EXTREME date. He finally pulled one out.

"T-this..." he seemed to be at a loss of words for once. Silence ensued as the Mafiosi looked at the fiery boxer curiously, and then it was promptly broken off with a raucous wail from the sun guardian followed by his fist pumping the air: "I'M EXCITED TO THE EXTREEEEEEEEEEME!" He nodded at the smirking Reborn, looking mightily pleased with his pick and ready to go off to an extreme round of exercising (i.e: climbing mountains backward and/or swimming in the ocean with a fellow Great White). He strode back to his seat with all attempt at assertiveness.

"Well, now we shall have...Xanxus, the head of Varia."

The room suddenly sank a few degrees at the minimum prospect of hearing Xanxus's name. The Varia boss seemed to notice that as well and he smirked knowingly. He didn't budge as he pretended not to have heard his name called. His feet were still propped up on the table and his chin rested on the palm of his hand. Bel tipped his chair back, eying his boss.

"Ushishishi~, do you want the Prince to pick out a name for you, boss?" The blond's grin didn't wane when Xanxus threw a malicious glare in his direction. Finally, rolling his crimson eyes in contempt, the Varia boss slowly uncrossed his legs and his boots landed on the ground with a dull thud. His Varia coat fluttered behind him as he stowed one hand into his pocket, using his other to snatch a name from the box. He wasn't going to waste time with this. Frankly, he didn't care who he got. At least, that was what he thought now.

"Hm," he grunted resolutely, crushing the tiny piece of paper with his fingers before pushing it into his pants pocket.

"Don't you want a second try, Xanxus?" Reborn inquired.

Xanxus just smirked haughtily. "No." He turned his heel and left the stand, leaving a dark, ominous aura in his wake. Tsuna gulped, tapping the underside of the wooden table for luck – he most definitely did not want to be gifted a Valentine's Day present from that guy. A few seats away from him, Mukuro was wearing a half-amused smile as he glanced at the gathered people, vainly avoiding the occasional glower of contempt directed towards him from a certain cloud guardian. Ryohei was still hype over his anonymous candidate, and he seemed to be striking up rather curious conversations with a noticeably sleep-dawning Lambo. The latter could only nod sleepily at some questions and agree with halfhearted murmurs, his one closed eye casually shut as always with his other brown eye barely concealing sleep.

"Dino from the Chiavarone family," Reborn announced, his mouth curling slightly as the aforementioned blond gave him a weak gesture of acknowledgment. The Bucking Bronco stood and dusted imaginary dust off his suit before striding impressively towards the stand. He grinned at the dark-haired cloud guardian who was standing unmovingly near the entrance, still and waiting. Hibari didn't respond, or rather, he didn't bother responding amicably; he chose to give his ex-teacher an icy smile. Dino just beamed good-naturedly, having been all too exposed to the indifferent attitude of the younger man.

He had been so busy grinning away that he had forgotten where he was heading towards. Walking straight into Fran's chair, the two of them toppled to the ground - Dino a little less stylishly doing so. He quickly recovered though, sending apologetic vibes to the green-haired illusionist with his dazzling chocolate eyes as he jumped back up onto his feet. His grin was caught in a wild cry when he tripped awkwardly over his own two feet walking on air trying to get to where Reborn was.

"All right, let's hope I get someone good, then," Dino panted when he had recovered, twiddling his fingers before arbitrarily choosing a name. Sweeping his wild blond hair out of his eyes, his face split into an even bigger smile. "Least it's someone from Vong—oops." Dino clasped a hand to his mouth and Reborn shook his head, sighing.

"Who knew you could be clumsy with your mouth, too?"

Dino grinned lopsidedly at the comment, stuffing the paper out of sight. Only, he had missed his pocket and the paper started to flutter gracefully down to the ground.

And the room immediately erupted into chaos.

"Woah, hold it! Lemme' see who it is!"

"I will EXTREMELY get it before anyone else does!"

"Guys, calm do - OW!" And here was Dino trying to be peacemaker - it didn't execute as well as he'd hoped, for he had hooked a knee inelegantly around the stand in which the box was placed, causing him to fall in a mass of body weight on the floor with his hands outstretched for the paper. He groaned, seeing stars.

"Move it, you herbivores," an impassive yet commanding voice demanded.

"Kufufu, of course not," a cynical voice followed.

"The Prince will take it before anyone else does, ushishishi~!"

"Move your goddamn hat, idiot!"

"You're in the way!"

And all this had happened in a span of a solitary minute with weapons of impending doom scarring the white walls and issuing various cuts on fabric and clothes. The chaos continued to happen despite Dino's claims to halt the procession.

"Don't push the Juudaime!" Gokudera had shielded Tsuna out of view in case anyone tried to take a random swipe at the Vongola boss, and Lambo had flitted open one eye, stared blankly at the imitation of an epic battle in front of him, before nodding off to sleep again.

"Oww, senpaaai, you don't have to shove…"

"I got—ow!" Ryohei tripped over something unrecognizable that was lying on the floor and fell flat on his face. "Who—oh, it's that lightning guardian. Well, that was extremely disappointing," he grumbled to himself.

Squalo saw that the paper was too far from his reach, and that if he didn't do anything now, that stupid Prince would get it before he did. By doing this, he'd ruin any chances of seeing the name, but then again, no one would be able to either.

Before anyone could even get to the abandoned piece of paper on the ground, as sudden as those few seconds of disarray and turmoil had begun, it ended instantaneously as Squalo stomped his foot on top of the table, causing everyone around him to jump at the sudden loud bang.

"VOOOOOOOOOI!" he shouted, baring his teeth at the ones nearest to the paper. "Do you want me to stab you, idiots? I'll gut you right here if you don't get back to your seat!" He stole a quick glance at Xanxus, who had closed his eyes in slight irritation. "And you're disturbing the boss. VOOOOOOOOOI!" he barked at Dino, lifting his boot off the table before stamping down on the paper, dragging it towards Dino with his heel. "Can't you do anything right?!"

"Aha…" Dino peeled the paper off Squalo's boot, shaking his head apologetically. "Sorry."

Finally the little crisis had calmed down, and with Dino limping back to his seat sheepishly, the families eventually settled in a stupor silence, the earlier commotion having taken up most of their energy during the late-night, or, rather, early-morning, for it was 3 A.M, activity. Reborn had a tendency to conduct ill-frowned-upon events in the dreary time of day, and the people gathered here were almost accustomed to his habitual doings. In fact, the baby genius was smirking at them all with his glinting black eyes while the other Arcobalenos looked silently on, having not uttered a word since Colonello's reproach.

"I'm sure you're all drained to the limit, but we do have one more to go," said Reborn. His eyes flitted over to the slumbering cow leaning on the wall behind Tsuna. "Now, we will have Lambo from the Bovino family."

Lambo appeared to not have heard. Tsuna whispered to him, urgently jabbing him accidentally in the ribs to wake him up, and he mouthed apologies to the now widely awake lightning guardian. "What are you doing, young Vongola?" Lambo said, twitching as the pain subsided. He stifled a yawn at the expectant gazes now focused on him. "...Eh?"

"It's your turn, Lambo. You're the last one!" Tsuna prodded Lambo until the boy hefted himself from the wall. "Go on before Reborn gets mad...and so we can leave," he added in an undertone.

The boy did not need any more persuading. Lazily standing up, he slowly made his way towards the box. With one eye still closed, he reached in for the last name. Reborn's fedora shadowed his face, but everyone could tell he was smirking triumphantly. The box snapped closed as soon as Lambo read his name, and the guardian's other eye opened in vast amusement. "This is—"

Since he had been asleep for most of this, he did not know that this was the exact same thing that had happened to Levi. Reborn had smacked him across the head with a peculiar, lime-green baseball bat, causing the boy's face to collide into the ground. Lambo's frame shook and Tsuna could already foresee what was going to happen next.

"Gotta…stay…calm…" And then there were loud cries and tumults of tears trailing down the teenager's face. The Varia was stunned to silence, having not experienced this case of overtly ineffable teen who was acting relatively like a broken child. Their silence was not maintained for more than a fourth of a moment, however - the Varia had, like a detonating bomb, ruptured the bubble of the unexpected by filling the sporadic hiccups and mutters of "Stay...calm" with raw, unadulterated laughter, mocking and full with amusement.

"Ushishishi! What is that cow doing?"

"Hmph," Levi scoffed, his nose wrinkling in distaste, "weak as always, the lightning guardian."

"Senpai, now that I look at it, I think he should wear this frog hat that's been bestowed oh-so-...ow." Fran readjusted his plastic hat with an unprecedented, unenthusiastic pluck of a silver dagger from the back of the material. "Why is it that each aim gets deeper every time?"

Before the persevering Bovino could properly throw off a tantrum, the seven Arcobalenos each hopped onto the table, drawing everyone's attention. Even Lambo resolved to quiet sniffles just to hear what Reborn had to say. Tsuna wanted to run over and pull Lambo off the floor, but he decided against it when Reborn's voice announced,

"Now that you have all gotten a chance to see your Valentine's date, we will not be meeting again until February 14th. The rules are simple: we the Arcobalenos shall be the judges of your 'date' together and – oh, did I mention: you must bequeath your receiver with a gift and along with that, a love confession—"

Ryohei's gruff voice cut in, "THAT'S EXTREME!"

A vein of exasperation throbbed in Xanxus's temple, but the blond prince was the first to give a half-hearted reply: "Ushishishi, what."

"Nooo waaay!" Gokudera wailed as he took a look at the name on his paper again.

Reborn tapped his foot impatiently on the oak table and the room became silent once again. He allowed Leon to crawl onto his hand before continuing to speak, "Presents and confessions are mandatory, or else your score on the Vongola Board will be a zero." At this, Tsuna gulped with dread. He didn't even want to know what would happen to the person if his score was a zero. Now, he, along with others in the room, realized that they were going to have to really try. Reborn noticed the sudden change of attitude in the room and the corner of his lip curled. "Confessions must be heartfelt and utterly clever and dynamic." And before anyone else could butt in with a protest or a request for a change of his Valentine's date, the Arcobalenos, along with Reborn, had turned their backs on the participants. "You are all dismissed," the fedora-wearing prodigy said resolutely, waving his tiny arm.

And then there was a pregnant silence that filled the room, high with tension and the invisible but internally-felt vibes of "Woe-is-me," because everyone was just brimming with excitement at the thought of flying with the colors of love on the hateful and undeniably pathetic Valentine's Day.

Yes, it would be a day to remember and altogether bear the incredulity of not being up in each others' necks demanding massacre.


Rori's Corner: Mightily cracktastic, if I do say so myself. Hate it or love it, your choice. And I'm sorry if we scar the innocent minds of our readers with the Valentine's Day update because of all the unimaginable pairings and the never-seen-before-but-still-adorable couples that will totally shoot up your pairings list and make it to be your OTP. We do not compensate, therefore suing us is undoubtedly ill-advised.

Hero's (emo) Corner: Would someone care to join me in this corner of gloominess? ;D Pffft. I can't even begin with this. Kufufu, some pairings might have been obvious. For some reason, I feel like we're gonna get shot. Don't worry, guise~ It's a crackfic. :3 I actually had fun writing this, and it's only the prologue. I can't imagine what it's gonna be like in the next chapter. Also: "Ushishishi, what." is almost equivalent to LOLWUT. Heh. Amusing. D'aww, Hero has lost the rock, paper, scissors for the title. :3 Byebii4now~

Sidenote: We are not responsible for the pairings - RPS settled them all. RPS, you ask? Rock, paper, scissors. We only scrawled names in our paper holders (bag and Disney cup). We will delegate a winner if he/she manages to guess 5 out of the 14 Valentine's pairings. Massive shout-out, people :3 Oh, and, can you guys figure out our favorite pairings from the little...ah, flirts~ies going around behind the scenes?

Can you figure out the Valentine's date list?