Early spring meant the second trimester ended and the third began, but it was already too late. Colette traced the grades on the report card- A, A, A, F, B, B, A- and thought despairingly, One of these things is not like the others.

A failing grade. In Chemistry. Coupled with a barely-reached B in the first trimester, and the finals in the third... She wouldn't be able to get through this year with anything higher than a D in that class, would she? And if she had a D in one of her classes and a mix of A's and B's in the others...

The premier research academy in Kalos had admissions so competitive that skipping two grades, doing more volunteer work than you could handle, and making straight A's wasn't always enough to make them pay attention to you. Colette had planned all her life to do all of that and more: to skip two grades (done) and to volunteer at her local research center every spare moment she had, to do all her homework and all her extra credit and become Professor Lacebark, graduate of the most prestigious university in Kalos and invited to give talks at every conference, to share her findings with all the world-

And then she'd started to let her schoolwork get away from her, after she'd skipped freshman year and had become a tenth grader at thirteen. And then she'd been unable to focus, having to study for the first time in her life, trying everything just to make herself do her homework, planner after planner filled with gel pen markings to make her remember. And then she'd completely forgotten about her midterm project for Chemistry. She'd gotten a zero on something worth half her grade.

Some child prodigy. Can't even remember something the teacher's been talking about for weeks.

She'd petitioned her teacher for extra work. She'd begged the principal to intercede for her. She'd considered going to another school, but the grade would follow her there no matter how hard she tried to remove it. So... that was it.

No straight A's meant no Academy. An F meant that if she didn't pick up her grade by the end of the year, she'd be forced to repeat it. There was no way to become a professor for her.

There was no way to the future from here.

It was like she had flicked a switch, thinking that. Suddenly nothing mattered- not her carefully-crafted planner, not her study sessions, not her attempts at learning Sinnohan. She had already failed to prove herself. She had already failed.

Colette felt tears stream down her face. She couldn't face her parents when they learned just how badly she'd disappointed them. At this point she couldn't even face herself in the mirror. Useless, useless person, no good to society or to anyone, just trying and trying and failing all the same, build a whole house of cards and watch it fall-

She was crying. There was a tight feeling in her chest, winding tighter and tighter every second and making it ache. Her whole body ached. School felt impossibly distant and impossibly terrible. She couldn't face anyone after this, could she? Going to school, looking everyone who joked about her being a genius in the face and having to know the whole time that she was a fake- she couldn't stand the thought.

All her friends called her the smart one. All her teachers fawned on her, praised her, except for two, and one of those had failed her without a second thought. Doing well in the past meant nothing, not anymore. She couldn't call herself an all-A student. She couldn't even call herself smart anymore.

It was a feeling somewhere between numbness and a sick thrill, because if she wasn't the smart one she was nothing at all.

Well- the tight feeling in her chest felt like it was choking her. Well, so be it. She grabbed the report card and kicked her backpack hard, feeling the satisfying thunk of a bunch of textbooks. No use to her now, too far gone- why should she care? Forget her homework, she was going outside- forget everything, she was going. Minors in training regions were lucky: they always had a way out of their troubles. Wasting time, wasting lives, what did it matter? A trainer did what they wanted. A trainer didn't have any expectations to disappoint. A trainer was free.

Half of her class, back in middle school, had gotten starter Pokemon and disappeared into the routes, only coming back to visit their parents and crow about their successes in Pokemon training. Colette had scoffed at them, had taken the exams to let her test out of classes instead. Showed what she knew, didn't it.

Fucking idiot. Fucking lazy dumbass, you had all that time to fix everything and you blew it. This is no one's fault but yours.

Colette made a frustrated sound and went out to the kitchen, scribbling on a Post-It note and sticking it to the fridge, slamming a magnet next to it with her report card pinned underneath it.

Going on a Trainer journey. I'll call once I reach Lumiose, or you can call me before. I'm not doing well enough in school to become a professor anymore, so there's no point staying in a losing game. I love you! -Colette.

One of her uncles had given her a Pokemart voucher for her last birthday, to her parents' disapproval. It was for ten Pokeballs for any aspiring trainer who had the voucher, and as her uncle had said, it was primarily used by brand-new trainers who needed to stock up before they left. Colette had the voucher, and she had her savings; between them, she figured, she should be able to get some supplies to stuff in her backpack for the beginning of her journey. She packed a second set of clothes, a couple of favorite books, a lighter, a flashlight, her phone charger, and some non-perishables she found in the pantry: granola bars, fruit cups, and a refillable water bottle, mostly. There was a trainers' manual that had used to belong to her older brother in his room-turned-office, so she took that, too, since Nick would never use it again, and stuffed it in with the rest to read as she went. Her sneakers were kind of worn out, she decided, but probably good enough for a bit of walking, and she could use her old shrinkable sleeping bag to rest out under the stars. Her phone went into her pocket.

Thus packed, Colette tightened her shoelaces and shrugged on her backpack, trying to hype herself up for leaving home and wandering the wilds of Kalos. She'd always planned to train eventually, anyway, she reasoned. Professor Oak had been a trainer in his younger days. Of course, he'd also been basically a prodigy...

Don't think about it. Just open the door, and leave.


"Ten Pokeballs?" the cashier asked. "So you're starting your trainer journey, huh."

Colette nodded, and thanked her lucky stars that Kalos didn't have a trainer license exam. Literally anyone could be a trainer. Anyone. She could just go to the Pokemon Center in Lumiose, where the Nurse Joy was less likely to know her, and register as a trainer there to get her proper license, Pokedex, and badge case. Despite everything, the thought of her own Pokedex made her shiver with anticipation. So much knowledge at her fingertips, and for free- "I'm thinking of challenging the Lumiose Gym first," she volunteered. The cashier looked a little more interested.

"Why not Viola? She is right here in town." Right here in town, where Colette might run back into her parents. She wasn't going to risk it.

"I think my starter's gonna be a Grass type," she said. "So I'll have a type advantage once we've trained a little bit, I hope!"

"Well, good luck," the cashier said, ringing up the voucher. "You going for just a couple of local gyms, or all eight? You don't have to take the League challenge to have a good trainer journey, you know. People who try that kind of stuff are just, like, really intense. I used to date a guy with seven gym badges once, you know, and I swear he spent more time with his Gourgeist than he ever did with me."

Oof. "I'm not sure I'm that into it," Colette said awkwardly. "It's just a way to make some extra money and travel, right? Get away for a while?"

"Totally," the cashier said cheerfully. "That's the best part about it!" She put the ten Pokeballs in a bag and handed them over the counter. "Good luck, kid!"

"Thanks," Colette told her sincerely.

The sky over Santalune was cloudy, and as evening crept up Colette started to wonder if she should have waited till the next day to leave for her journey. Her parents would be worried when they got back tonight.

But if she gave up now, she'd really never have accomplished anything. She'd just go back home to her parents' disappointment and to a long life of being nothing and nobody...

Deep breaths. Focus, come on, count to ten and be done with it...

She reached the gate for Route 4 and stopped. You weren't supposed to go into the routes without a Pokemon with you. That was drummed into everyone's heads since they were old enough to understand language- don't go out into the woods alone, don't go too far from home or the city alone, don't stray away from your playmates. No Pokemon Means No Playtime. Stay where we can see you. Remember the rules.

Her parents had used to have an Azumarill called Navy, who had watched Colette when she was little and still interested in playing outside. He'd been old when Colette was born, though- old enough to have belonged to her grandfather in his youth- and he had died when she reached the fifth grade. Colette felt a pang of grief just thinking about him.

Maybe she could catch a Marill or Azurill on Route 4, if there were any. If she managed to sneak out of the city without a Pokemon by her side in the first place. Colette took another deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, then pulled out one of her empty Pokeballs and started muttering to it as she walked into the gate.

"Look, I know you're mad at me right now, but I already said I'm sorry! I won't offer wild Pokemon food before I feed you, I promise- I already told you I promised- and I really need you to work with me here, okay?" The gate clerk was already looking up at her. He asked, "Name, please?"

"Colette Lacebark." She sent another glare down at the empty Pokeball. "And Marill, but he's not too interested in making an appearance right now." Everyone was taught from childhood not to go out on Routes without some kind of Pokemon. Colette had researched this for her debate club: it wasn't actually illegal to go through the gates without one, or to go through the gates under false pretenses. It was assumed that people had too much common sense for that.

People never had common sense, from what Colette could tell, but in this case she hoped the clerk would assume that at least she did. "Ugh, I know what that's like," the man said with feeling. "Pokemon get upset over the weirdest things, right?" Colette made herself smile her Debate Smile- the one she practiced in the mirror.

"Yeah. I know what you mean."

The cashier didn't even bother entering her name into his computer. "Welp. You're a trainer, so you're home free. Careful, though, it's getting dark. You have a place to stay for the night?"

"I'm camping with a friend," Colette said reassuringly. Her hands were shaking; she moved them under the counter where the clerk couldn't see. The shock from her grades was wearing off and leaving fear in its place. What was she doing?

Taking control of everything. Come on, don't stop now. Keep going. "Have a good night!"

"You too," the clerk said a little uncertainly, but by then Colette was through the gate and gone.


Parterre Way, known to trainers as Route 4, was on Kalos travel guides as scenic and easy, covered in lovely flowers and right in the middle of a sunny part of the region. It was famed for Perle Fountain, for its luxurious gardens, and for its hedge mazes. There were areas off to the sides where the tourist destination part fell away and the forests of Kalos were more prominent, but most day trippers didn't go too close to those. In daylight, people were comfortable enough with it to let their children play with their low-leveled Pokemon on the route, content that they would be protected from the wild Pokemon in the area.

At night it was a lot less welcoming. Some ancient instinct made Colette go quiet like she might attract a predator if she were too loud, and her heart started to beat a little faster. Without a Pokemon with her, she was vulnerable. Older, wilder Pokemon wouldn't hesitate to attack a human being if given the chance, and she would hardly be able to catch an older Pokemon if it came after her. Did catching a Pokemon even make it obey you automatically? What if she caught something and it just mauled her? What would she do then?

The last hints of sunlight drained away behind the trees, and Colette was left squinting and waiting for her eyes to adjust, scanning the hedges and flower patches for any movement. It was barely warm, just early enough in the spring for winter to have something of a last hold on the region. Colette was pretty sure that meant that a lot of wild Pokemon would be getting more active. Right? She just had to catch one of them. If she caught a Pokemon, she'd be a trainer officially, and no one could take that away from her. If she could just catch one...

Being out in the open made her feel like she was being watched. She shivered and moved toward the hedge maze, then dug the flashlight out of her backpack and clicked it on. The thin beam of light only served to get rid of her night vision and make everything else seem darker, and she clicked it off in a rush. What was she thinking, calling attention to herself like this? What if something saw?

She skirted a corner and sat down with her back to a wall of leaves. Now she couldn't see more than a few feet in front of her. Now she was alone in a Route full of wild Pokemon, and she hadn't even seen one yet. If she didn't succeed soon, she'd have to go back to Santalune. Back home.

Her mother would hug her, then probably yell for worrying her like that. Her father would say, it's all right, we'll be able to get your grades up somehow. Move you to a different school. Get you new tutors, take some new tests. You're so smart, Colette. We know this was just a fluke.

Except it hadn't been a fluke. Her grades had been dropping ever since she'd hit the tenth grade. They'd been dropping ever since she'd been required to put actual effort in. No matter what she tried, she was too scatterbrained to get things done. She failed at everything she attempted.

Colette clenched her fists. No, this was unacceptable. This was not allowed. To end up back home, after pledging herself to an endeavor and giving up almost immediately? That would be too much to bear. What kind of idiot was she? What kind of- of coward? Scared of the dark like a little kid, scared of wild Pokemon like an old lady- was she really that weak? Fuck that. Fuck that. She wasn't going to fail at this, too. She couldn't.

She wouldn't.

She hefted her flashlight, testing its weight in her hands, and clutched it tight. Then she called out, voice cracking, "Trainer looking for a starter Pokemon here, if you're interested please appear!" Nothing happened. Somewhere in the darkness, a few leaves rustled. Colette resisted the urge to turn on her flashlight and said, "If anyone's interested in being a trainer's Pokemon, please come out where I can see you."

A louder rustle came from the shadows. Colette stiffened, suddenly regretting calling out, and the Pokemon came slowly into sight. Slinking and feline, red eyes blaring warning- oh. That was a Pyroar. Its mane was ragged and messy, but its fiery glow was unmistakable.

She hadn't realized their prides ranged out this close to human settlements. Though- she squinted- from what she could tell, this one had a lot of scars. This one might not have had a pride at all. It growled low and angry in its throat, and Colette took a step back.

"I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you aren't here to get a trainer," Colette said slowly. She held her flashlight more tightly.

"Pyre," the Pyroar snarled. In the dark, Colette couldn't see its full body; the shadows around it made it seem bigger, like a monster from a horror movie. Savannah Monsters. Claws. I Am The Fire-type That Lives In The House. Okay, maybe not that last one.

"Do you want me to leave?" Colette asked. Her voice was only shaking a little. "I- I can leave." Lone Pyroar were vicious, she remembered. They were territorial. Fuck.

She ran logistics in her head. Her backpack was back by the hedge she'd rested at, and her only weapon was a flashlight. The gate was in sight still, but she'd have to get past the Pyroar to get it. It was skinny, gnarled-looking, probably hungry- was that why it had ranged so far out here? Was it looking for food?

Would it settle for a granola bar and a refillable water bottle? The Pyroar growled again and took a step forward, slow like it wanted to spook her into running, and Colette amended her question. Would it settle for anything but, specifically, her? She took another step back-

The Pyroar gave a frustrated snarl and leaped-

And Colette threw her flashlight and hit it square between the eyes.

She ran. Away from the gate, great job there, but also away from the Pyroar, because Colette knew her priorities. If she could get to Perle Fountain- would the water be enough to keep the Pyroar away? Fire-types hated water, didn't they? She scrambled over the path, dodging the edges of flower patches and hedges, and dashed toward the fountain with all the speed she could summon.

The Pyroar leaped and dragged her to the ground before she could make it. Colette screamed and kicked out, but the Pokemon only took the blows and held on, teeth buried deep in her shirt. "Let go of me! I am not getting eaten before I've even got my first badge- let go of me! Hey! Help me!"

The Pyroar growled deep in its throat and started dragging her kicking and screaming to the side. Colette's fear spiked up higher, and she cried louder, "Let go of me! Let go of me, help-"

A face-full of dirt. Colette spat it out and glared, for a moment too offended to keep screaming. The Pyroar glared right back. It took a moment for Colette to realize that it had stopped dragging her. When she did, she kicked it in the nose, threw a Pokeball at it, and dove for a flower patch.

A flash of light, a roar, a flare of fire lighting up the darkness- Colette crushed down her instinctive scream and scrambled into the flowers, reaching for something to hold her own with. A rock- no, that wasn't much more useful than a flashlight. A flower- literally useless. Someone's dropped Potion? She wasn't here to heal it.

Fuck fuck fuck it was going to kill her and her parents would find her body and that would be it, just a picture on the mantle of the kid they'd lost to utter stupidity, rest in peace, are you happy now?

The Pyroar crashed through the flowers after her and made a low, furious sound, fire leaking from between its teeth. Colette whimpered and scooted back as it came closer, staring at its teeth. "You don't have to kill me," she tried. Her heart was caught in her throat."You can just not, and say you did."

Fire lit up the space between them, and the Pyroar glared like it wanted her dead. "Roar pyroar."

"No idea what you're saying," Colette said desperately. "But look, I'm sure we can reason this out- I have food, my parents have food-" The Pyroar's mouth was lighting up- "I'm really really hopeful that you'll please not kill me-"

A sour smell hit her, and she scrunched up her face on instinct as the Pyroar stiffened and rumbled. Oh, great, now it was even more mad. She continued, "If you'd just let me go-" and a barrage of yellow stars hit the Pyroar with a shing through the air. The Pyroar reared back and bared its teeth at something behind Colette.

She looked up to where the Pyroar was glaring, then blinked. Six white-tipped legs, hovering in the air connected to a round little Pokemon about the size of a large dinner plate... That was a Ledyba.

Wait. A Ledyba?

"Leeeey," it buzzed menacingly. It landed between Colette and the Pyroar and raised its wing sheathes like a warning.

"Get out of here," Colette hissed, glaring at the Pyroar. "You're Bug-type, you don't stand a chance." Also you're a random wild unevolved Pokemon, she thought, and I'd prefer not to see you die.

"Ba!" the Ledyba told her, and waved a leg in her direction. Colette took the cue and stood up on shaky legs. What now? She couldn't outrun the Pyroar, but maybe she could outsmart it? Or at least the Ledyba could. Maybe their combined minds would be enough, if it stuck around.

If it didn't get roasted to a crisp in front of her for trying to help, that was. Oh, God.

The Pyroar shook its head and stalked towards them, face contorted with rage. Colette looked back at where she'd left all her supplies and said to the Ledyba, "I've got to get back near the gate down there." Maybe the Pyroar would be pacified if she gave it all her food, or she could get back to the gate before it caught her.

The Ledyba glanced up at her and then back at the Pyroar; as the Fire-type approached it backed up, looking more and more uncertain, and closed down its wing covers again. Colette wracked her brain for Ledyba knowledge and whispered, "Supersonic, then we run."

"Ba," the Ledyba said, straightening up. The Pyroar grew tired of watching them and bounded forward- Colette jumped out of the way- and the Ledyba flew into the air and screamed.

The sound ricocheted through Colette's head like a stray bullet. She clutched her ears, trying to block it out, and saw a couple of Pokemon flee out of the corner of her eye. However badly it hit her, though, it hit the Pyroar worse. The Pokemon roared in confusion and shook its head violently, backing up like it wasn't sure which way was forward, and Colette took the chance to dash for her backpack, back in the hedge maze near the gate.

Light met her eyes as she got closer- yep, that was a gate- and then a weight hit her shoulder, no more than ten pounds and cool to her skin. The Ledyba chirred into her ear, "Baaaa," as she burst into the gate lobby and slammed the door behind her; the clerk stood up with a start.

Wait, Colette realized. That wasn't the same clerk. Shit. "Is this Route 4?"

"Lumiose, actually," the clerk said. She looked somewhere between concerned and anxious. "Ah, have any trouble out there, this late at night? You look a little rough."

Colette looked down at her torn-up jacket and at the leaves and petals caught on her clothes. She reached up to her head and gingerly tugged a twig out of her hair. "Pyroar," she explained, feeling weirdly calm. "I think he was kind of desperate for food. I got away, though."

"Oh." The clerk looked at her blankly. "We haven't had any reports of Pyroar this close to civilization."

"Does this report count?" Colette was shaking.

The clerk bit her lip. "Why don't you sit down, dear. Is your Ledyba hurt?" Colette blinked, then looked around. The Ledyba was crawling up the wall over a few couches, waving its antennae cheerfully and talking to itself in soft ba's.

"No, I think it's fine," she told the clerk tiredly. "Do- do you mind if I stay in here for a while? I don't want to risk trying to go back through the Route like this, and from what I've read the Lumiose Pokemon Centers are usually pretty full..."

"Oh, no, sure, you can stay," the Lumiose clerk said. "I've got to get you to give me a report about the Pyroar, anyway. Usually the police or gym leaders handle it if anyone's seriously hurt, but for something like this you can just talk to us minders."

"Can I do that in the morning?" Colette begged. "I feel like I'm going to collapse."

The clerk shrugged, looking only faintly concerned. Seriously? Did this kind of stuff happen so often that no one cared anymore? "That's adrenaline rush for you. And sure, you can crash on one of the couches over there. I think I've even got a blanket behind the counter." She dug around and came up with a camping blanket. "How's this?"

"Thank you," Colette said fervently. "Seriously. Best clerk ever." She wrapped the blanket around her arm and retreated to the couch below the Ledyba, where she pulled off her shoes and tucked them behind her, then curled up under the blanket. The Ledyba flew down to land on her side and look at her with curious eyes.

"Are you going to hang around?" Colette mumbled. The Ledyba bobbed its antennae and moved closer to Colette's face, settling in and flattening its wings beneath its shell. Its legs tickled. "Gonna take that as a yes."

"Ba," her new starter said cheerfully, and after about ten minutes of keeping her eyes firmly closed, Colette drifted off to sleep.


A/N: *original He-Man voice* Colette is feeling heavy anxiety at the beginning of this chapter. If you regularly have thoughts like that, you might want to reach out to somebody. Also, plant a tree, and don't do drugs.

And does anyone know how to keep the em dash on this website? Every time I save it cuts it down to a single '-' and it's really inconvenient.

Also: this horizontal line thing is both cool and useful and I'm glad to have been told about it.