STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Confessional
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Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
Gajeel Redfox is different to what she originally expected, Levy thinks, not for the first time as they walk along the river, returning from different missions and just happening to run into each other at the train station.
It's more out of convenience that they walk home together, she reminds herself.
A majority of Magnolia still looks at the Phantom turned Fairy distrustfully, and though they don't actively fight his presence, the side-eyes and sneers are enough to make Levy squirm. Plus, even if she's a relatively well-known mage of Fairy Tail, it won't stop some people from trying to make a grab at her in the street when the sun goes down. Safety and self-preservation. That's all this is.
Some people are skeptical of their apparent togetherness as they continue down the street, just two steps apart from one another.
But they're – they're – just guild mates, acquaintances, friends? It depends who asks even though regardless of which one she chooses, no one really believes it, and it's all just a lie anyway.
I have deceived
It's logical to say that his phrasing of his not-invitation (or lack thereof) is misleading, but with them living next door from one another while her room at Fairy Hills is being remodeled, it isn't exactly wrong.
But they all just think it is, and in fact, she almost counts on it.
Gajeel, being the one to string her, Jett and Droy up like piñatas so many months before was common knowledge while his efforts to protect her from Laxus and then actually helping his new guild on Fantasia night, was less so.
No one messes with him, or said a word against her for wanting to be at his side whenever she could. (Their gossip that she's got Stockholm Syndrome of sorts, be damned.)
Despite Jett and Droy's protests to leaving a member of Team Shadow Gear in the presence of the iron Dragonslayer, Levy continues to be in his company as casual as she can be, chatting almost mindlessly about whatever topic comes to mind when she runs into him at the bar or at the medi-ward of the Guild.
Even if Gajeel only grunts occasionally to her rambling, she certainly feels comfortable around him now.
myself and others.
Several meters behind them, Jett and Droy argue none too quietly about whether or not they should follow just in case, and Levy sighs.
Beyond Team Natsu, the Take-Over siblings and Cana, the two Phantoms haven't been warmly welcomed after all this time, especially Gajeel.
Not that Gajeel seems particularly interested in that (though she's seen more than once how Juvia deflates whenever everyone moves away from her). If anything Juvia deserves the Guild's censure less, but the marking of Phantom Lord still lingers, and she glances then at Gajeel's exposed bicep where his black Fairy Tail mark overlaps the Phantom one.
I pretend that he doesn't hurt me
He's still transitioning from his past to his present, she reminds herself, and it's a slow process, but one he bears in silence (with occasional bursts of uncontrolled outrage when Natsu challenges him to friendly fights).
Who needs welcome and acceptance? If he gets booed while he sings, he doesn't look like he cares (nor does he stop singing for that matter), and if no one wants to sit anywhere near him when he has a drink, all the better.
But Levy knows he's lonely.
He drinks alone, eats alone, goes on missions alone and usually goes home alone.
His fellow Phantom turned Fairy is even more so, and appears less in control of the turmoil of her current situation as a cloud lingers persistently overhead, and Levy makes a mental note to be more determined in keeping Juvia company as she is with Gajeel.
Levy's pretty sure, anyway, that Juvia won't brush off her olive branches like he does whenever he's in the mind to care what people think (of her, rather than of him).
when he pushes me away.
"You pissed me off when we first met."
She blinks in confusion. It's the first time he's said anything substantial yet, and she stutters, "W-what? What brought this up?"
His grunt is expected, but his words are not, "You're staring."
"What does that have to do with my face making you angry?" She retorts.
"I never said anything about your face."
"Well when we met it wasn't like we had an actual introduction." He and the three others that had ambushed Team Shadow Gear after their return from a mission, wasted no time on pleasantries, nasty monologues or trash talking banter. They, or rather he, had been precise in their goal of sending a message to the rival guild.
"Stop staring."
So she does, and she looks at the ground instead.
"You were a Fairy," he begins eventually, but she's quick to point out, "And now you are too."
"Not then," he reminds with a snort, "and don't interrupt me damn it, I'm supposed to be the rude one in this whatever-the-hell you call us."
I lie to him
"Friendship," she suggests, and when he makes another derisive sound, she crosses her arms in a huff. "I learnt from you, consider that the extent of your contamination."
He shakes his head a little. "See and this how you pissed me off that day, and every other day."
"Gajeel!"
"What?" He demands. "You do."
"What are you even talking about?"
to trick him into telling the truth.
They're in the mouth of the alley that leads to their respective apartments. It's in the less than savory side of town, but no one dares to look their way when they would have to go up against a heavily pierced, leather clad, muscular, six foot something dragonslayer.
She has no such qualms though. "Well?"
His red eyes glint back at hers from the shadows that loom over them, and what would've once terrified her only makes her voice a hoarse whisper as his figure stands almost protectively between her and the lingering dark. "Tell me."
I bait him
Levy distinctly feels the wooden door behind her, her chin raised in a defiance that isn't real as her breath moves in and out in a shudder as their noses brush.
She closes her eyes and breathes him in, refreshing the memory of his scent of musk and metal, leather and earth; in a way she always catches him doing to her when he thinks she isn't paying attention. "Tell me," she prompts again.
His eyes flicker almost guiltily away. Her brow furrows, and when she finally deciphers his look to something akin to a goodbye, her fists tighten at her side. There had always been conditions to his and Juvia's recruitment into Fairy Tail, Levy was under no illusions, but to have the two of them practically blackmailed and then sacrificed like pawns in this way? She'd always known, but she'd hoped Master had proof enough of the former Phantoms' remorse. Apparently not.
Gajeel can practically feel the script mage in front of him tremble with righteous fury on his behalf, a true mate to a dragon.
His growl sends ripples from her lips down to her toes, and he isn't even touching her, not really.
"You looked like you were disappointed in me."
She stills her breathing.
"You probably knew who I was then, my reputation, before I attacked you, and you still looked at me like you expected me to be better than that." His chuckle, a deep throaty sound that makes her insides quiver, tinges his voice as he admits, "It messed me up."
and rejoice in his surrender.
Her eyes flutter when she feels the raw heat of him ebb away, retreating from her.
"Wait."
He obliges, only managing to get off the step that separates her door from the dingy street they're standing in.
Without thinking, she practically flings herself at him like a silly, stupid love struck girl who expects their guild and this town to just accept him as she does. Fix them all and fix him most of all with a heart stopping, perfect kiss with a man who hurt her, saved her and is condemned now because of her.
But Levy McGarden has her head on right, and she knows life doesn't work that way so she wraps her arms around him. Seeking the unique scent of him - leather and smoke, sweat and metal; nosing further until she reaches the skin where his neck meets his shoulder, and she clings.
His sharp hearing catches her proclamation, "I'll go with you."
Forgive me Father
for loving him so.
Send me to hell with him
because I won't let him go alone.
Finis
A/n: My first Grajevy fic, hazaah!
This story takes place a few months after Fantasia with the assumption that Phantom Lord still has a hold on Magnolia as a dark guild.
Gajeel and Juvia are being sent away to deal with the remainders of their former guild, and Levy, who has formed an attachment to Gajeel despite how most of her guild treats him and Juvia for being "bad", confesses that she is anything but "good".
It ended up a bit more complex and serious than I originally intended, but as usual, the story knew how it wanted to be written so I just did what I was "told".
In any case, the centered italics is usually how a confessional goes with a priest (I'm a non-practicing Catholic) with the first line of "Forgive me father for I have sinned" being both a nod to that aspect of the confessional and an allusion to Makarov as the "father" (as the head of the Guild, and as everyone's proverbial grandfather) and the rest being Levy's confession.
The first line and last line of the story (that is not part of the confessional) tie in together in that Gajeel makes the unspoken declaration of his leaving on Makarov's mission of dealing with Phantom Lord, but neither asks her to follow him nor demands she go, however, Levy responds anyway by verbally telling him that she will go wherever he goes.
Note: This was written at an odd hour so forgive me of any mistakes, I'll probably edit it tomorrow.
