Notes: I apparently wrote this fic two years ago and never titled it or posted it as far as I can tell… and it was complete! But it was a bit of a mess, so I cleaned it up and now it's fit to post. Though part of me is still like, what the fuck is this train wreck? XD


Fainting.

That's one of those ridiculous things that people like Allen, Lenalee, and Komui does. When Kanda thinks of fainting, he thinks of dainty, frail women sighing 'oh!' with a palm to their forehead before they crumple to the floor in unconsciousness. They never really get to the floor, though, because some dashing man always catches them as they fall.

With images like that in his head, Kanda will not faint. No. His head throbs and his vision swirls violently, marring the world around him. No. He won't faint. He isn't some delicate woman in shock and dismay; he is an Exorcist!

Kanda closes his eyes, fighting off a wave of nausea. The steady movement of the train isn't helping at all. And somewhere, behind the queasiness and the chills, his inner persona is screaming about how unacceptable it is to feel so disgusting during the end stretch of a mission. He wants to tell it to shut up, but he can't focus past the pounding his skull.

Suddenly, Kanda's eyes snap open as his stomach gurgles in a completely undignified way. He can feel his dinner coming back to haunt him, and damn if it isn't insistent about visiting. Standing up faster than his sickness wants to allow, he doubles over, completely failing the first step of the mini-mission he's set for himself to just get to the bathroom.

Kanda presses one hand to his stomach and the other to his mouth reflexively in an attempt to stave off the return of his dinner. There is a black hole growing in the floor, looking as though it's going swallow him whole. Righting himself again, Kanda tries to side step it, but before he knows it, he's falling in.

"Crap," Kanda mutters, the last thing he manages to think before everything goes dark.


There is a muffled thud as Kanda hits the floor face first, instantly unconscious. Goz is the first to look up, initially out of curiosity, then in horror.

"Kanda-san! Are you alright!" he exclaims, grabbing Allen and Lavi's attention in the process. The three of them crouch around Kanda, peering at their fallen comrade.

"Eh, Yu, what's wrong?" Lavi says, shaking him slightly. "This really isn't the place to be sleeping, Yu!"

Allen rolls his eyes. "I doubt he's sleeping, Lavi," he replies uneasily.

Allen goes over the results of the mission in his head. He doesn't remember Kanda taking much damage from the akuma; in fact, he managed to destroy most of them before they'd even noticed he was there. Furthermore, any wounds probably have healed already anyway. Allen frowns in puzzlement and, unexpectedly, Kanda lets out a practically bone-rattling cough.

"Oh," Goz finally says, pressing his hand to Kanda's forehead. He quickly pulls back, both because of the heat radiating off of the boy and his own embarrassment. "He's just a little sick. Probably, uh," Goz thinks back for a moment. "Influenza."

The flu?" Allen says, confused. "How would you know—"

"Now it makes sense," Lavi interrupts, sliding his arms underneath Kanda. Kanda barely twitches in response. "Miranda brought it back from one of her missions. It's highly contagious, so it makes sense that Kanda could get it. The ventilation back home probably isn't that great."

Allen looks horror-stricken. "That means we could get it too!"

"It's not that bad, Allen-san," Goz responds, positioning himself to help Lavi lift Kanda from the floor. "After we cool Kanda-san's fever, he'll be fine."

"I'll go ask the attendant for water, then," Allen says as Lavi and Goz position Kanda on the train seat as best as they can. He shudders as he makes his way to the front of the compartment. He can't imagine getting sick to the point of passing out.


The private compartment they need for Kanda is given Johnny-on-the-spot, in Allen's opinion. He doesn't know if it was because most people, like himself, are afraid of getting sick, or because they'd been caught slacking on the Dark Order prior.

Between the three of them, Goz, Allen and Lavi maneuver Kanda into the bed, getting rid of his coat, shirt, and boots in the process. For as slight as he is, an unconscious Kanda is like the equivalent of a two ton boulder. After getting situated, Goz exits the compartment to keep watch, leaving Allen and Lavi with some basic care instructions.

"Leave it to Yu to get sick, huh, Allen?" Lavi says idly, flopping on the edge of the bed. "I bet he did it on purpose, so Komui won't make him fill out a mission report!"

"I bet," Allen muses. "Didn't Goz say that we have to keep Kanda warmed up, despite the fever?"

"Yeah," Lavi says. "What about it?"

"Well, how do we do that?" Allen says, gesturing at Kanda. "He's shivering. A lot."

"You get under the blankets with him, that's how!" Lavi says with a grin. "You first, Allen."

Lavi cackles at the look Allen pulls; his eyes look as though they're about to drop right out of his head and roll away.

"You're joking, right?" Allen replies. "I mean, uh," he pauses, glancing at Kanda. "Mugen is pretty sharp, you know. He might actually make good on his threats this time."

That only makes Lavi laugh harder. "Don't tell me that you, Mr. I-recovered-my-Innocence-through-sheer-willpower, is afraid of Mugen!"

Allen's face scrunches up in response to the implied challenge. "I am not!" he remarks, shrugging out of his coat and toeing off his boots. "See, look!"

Throwing back the blankets, Allen climbs into the bed next to Kanda, even snuggling close for effect. He looks up at Lavi. "Your turn now."

Lavi smirks. "Okay."

He strips himself of his boots and coat and squeezes in on the other side of Kanda, covering himself up. "He's like a freaking furnace," Lavi comments afterwards, feeling close to breaking out into a sweat himself.

"He was shivering just a few moments ago," Allen points out with a mumble.

"That was just a tremor compared to what I've seen you do," Lavi responds, grinning. He shifts, propping himself up with his elbow and resting his head on his palm. He peers over Kanda, who is still unresponsive, to pin Allen with a meaningful look.

Allen's cheeks flush immediately. It only takes him half a second to process what Lavi's hinting at.

"Lavi!" Allen says, his voice an excited whisper. "You can't talk about that! Kanda might wake up and hear you!"

Lavi sits up, rolling his eyes. "Really, Allen, Yu probably won't wake up for a bit. Not until his fever breaks anyway." He slides from beneath the covers, placing them back around Kanda's shoulders neatly.

Allen stares at the redhead for a long moment, chewing his lower lip.

Lavi throws a glance over his shoulder. "Well?" He says after some time, patting his own thigh.

Lavi watches as Allen worms his way from under the blankets, placing them back as they were. He knows, as his lover playfully climbs into his lap, that the chances of Goz walking in on Allen and himself are slim. Though there's a not-quite-as-slim chance that Kanda will wake up in the middle of their romp.

Lavi has a plan for that, though.

"Well?" Allen says this time, mimicking the older boy. He wraps his arms around Lavi's neck.

In answer, Lavi presses his lips to Allen's, still familiar after all the time that has passed. To Lavi, Allen is like a labyrinth, a never ending maze of desire and need. There's always something new to explore, always treasures to uncover.

Allen squirms a little, pressing back against Lavi's kiss. He allows Lavi inside, letting himself drown in the taste of the redhead's kisses. Allen can feel Lavi's cock thickening in his pants and he tangles his fingers in the hair at the nape of Lavi's neck, pulling him closer. Lavi tries to pull away to catch a breath, but drags him back with a swipe of his tongue over his lower lip.

Allen can feel himself growing hot, sparking bright like the strike of a match. Knowing Kanda can wake any moment only fuels Allen's passion. He imagines the look on Kanda's face; he can see clearly in his mind's eye Kanda's dark eyes widening with surprise, his cheeks flushing red with fever and budding arousal.

Oh, fuck.

Allen moans softly, breaking the kiss. He leans his head back, exposing his neck. Lavi takes the opening for what it is, his lips latching on to the smooth, pale skin. He feels mischievous, in the mood for leaving his mark on Allen. Only Allen will know where they really come from, though when asked he'll just smile at Komui and swear it's another battle bruise. His tongue finds Allen's pulse and he bites there, sucking until a deep red mark appears. He can feel Allen's pulse flutter rapidly against the press of his tongue.

Allen wriggles against him, drawing in a sharp breath and letting it go on soft groan. It has to be one the best things Lavi has heard all week.


Kanda's senses come back to him one by one, slowly piecing together the puzzle of his awareness. The first thing he feels is achy, and considerably so; it's as though someone picked him up, cramped him into a box, and mailed him somewhere distant. His sense of smell comes to him next, clean linen and warm water. It seems like he can hear that water too, or rather, he can hear someone slurping it loudly and obscenely.

How annoying.

Kanda's sight comes to him last and he blinks against the artificial light of the compartment as it floods his eyes. He stares up at the ceiling for a long moment, before recognition dawns on him all at once.

The last thing he remembers is a brain-splitting headache and the intense urge to relive dinner. Ugh. Thankfully the overwhelming nausea has taken its leave.

Kanda's eyes slide to the left of him. On that side of him there is a door, a wooden chair, and a night stand with a basin of water.

Finally gave us the private compartment, I see, Kanda thinks.

Kanda shifts his gaze, looking towards the right. He sees first a shuttered window, then a coat rack, then the beansprout on Lavi's lap...

Wait.

Kanda blinks again and shakes his head a little. His eyes definitely aren't deceiving him, and though his immediate thoughts are to kick Lavi and Allen out of his room, he can't tear his gaze away from them.

Allen rubs his still-clothed crotch against Lavi's, shuddering. It feels so good, jolts of pleasure tingling down to his toes, but it isn't nearly enough to bring him anywhere close to where he wants to be. He slips his hands beneath Lavi's shirt, smoothing his palms over the boy's flat, well-defined chest and brushing his fingers over Lavi's nipples. Lavi groans and Allen presses his lips to Lavi's again, tempting him into another kiss.

Kanda's face flushes at the two boys before him; the sound of their mouths meshing together, wet and messy, make his body react in thoroughly inappropriate ways. Kanda closes his eyes, trying to focus inwardly to will his swelling erection back down. It will be a cold day in hell before he got off to the beansprout making out with the rabbit!

Kanda is close to willing himself back to a neutral state and drumming up the energy to kick his fellow Exorcists out of the room when Allen moans in a way that makes his cock jump to full attention. Fuck. Abruptly, as if the universe has decided that Kanda needs a little more embarrassment in his life, he coughs again, not able to hold it back. Not even a little.

It's Lavi who breaks the kiss this time, glancing over his shoulder again. "Allen... looks like Yu-chan woke up after all," he murmurs, amused. Allen can't help but think Lavi isn't very disappointed by this development.

Allen sighs, his cock still straining against his uniform pants. "I told you he would, Lavi, now what?"

Allen tries to slide off of Lavi's lap, but the redhead's arms around his waist keep him seated firmly.

"Are you feeling better, Kanda?" Allen asks instead, peering over Lavi's shoulder since Lavi isn't letting him off of his lap.

Kanda turns his head away from Allen, muttering. The flush spread over the beansprout's cheeks and lips is painfully erotic. "I'm fine. You can leave now," he says, still futilely attempting to will his obvious desire away.

He stares at the wall. Kanda is certain that if he closes his eyes, the only thing he'll see is Allen's kissed-stupid expression, now seared into his mind.

"Eh? But, Yu, we just got started!" Lavi complains. "We were waiting on you to wake up!"

"We were!" Allen sputters, before catching the wink that Lavi directs at him. He smiles slyly. "Oh, of course."

Lavi finally lets Allen slip off of his lap. Lavi knows what to do in these types of situations, even if Allen himself is completely clueless. Allen decides that he'll just play along with whatever Lavi's thinking. "We have to check his temperature, right, Lavi?"

Kanda suddenly feels Allen's palm on his forehead. "You're cold, Kanda!" Allen exclaims when Kanda reaches up to bat his hand away.

"I am not. Leave me be."

Lavi's eyes sweep over Kanda's form, noticing the little tent his cock is making in the blanket. This is just too good.

"Are you sure, Yu?" Lavi asks, his voice practically dripping with wickedness. He presses his palm to Kanda's crotch, causing the dark-haired boy to almost hit the ceiling.

"Stop that," Kanda grinds out. "Don't touch me." He sits up, his hand closing around Lavi's wrist. He means to pry Lavi's hand off, quite forcefully in fact, but Lavi lightly squeezes his cock before he can, sending pleasurable little jolts to loosen up his grip. Kanda exhales on the tail end of a shiver.

"Relax."

Kanda feels Allen's warm hands pushing him back into a lying position, and when he struggles, albeit not as fiercely as before, Lavi just squeezes his cock again. It makes his whole body feel like jelly. Kanda's pretty sure he's doomed now.

"Goz said that this would fix you right up," Lavi says. "Right, Allen?" He winks again, moving to pull away Kanda's blankets.

"Right!"

Allen hovers over Kanda's chest now, his face only inches away. He presses his palms to Kanda's arms, holding the boy down, but just barely. It's a grip that a child could break. "Don't fight," Allen says, pressing his lips to Kanda's tentatively.

Kanda opens his mouth to protest, but Allen only slips his tongue inside, exploring. Approvingly, Lavi watches as Allen slowly coaxes a real kiss out of Kanda. The dark-haired boy's face is beyond priceless. He briefly wonders what kinds of thoughts are weaving their way through Kanda's head. Lavi then smirks, reaching for Kanda's belt buckle. He's going to make sure that by the time they're done, the last thing Kanda is going to be able to do is think.

Kanda pushes back against Allen, attempting to sit up again. Allen pulls away in response, looking down at Kanda. Kanda's eyes sweep over Allen's face and his cock twitches. Damn, did the beansprout have to look so ... wanton?

He hears the zipper of his pants coming down, and feels Lavi's warm fingers make their way inside of his pants. Kanda curses himself, curses Allen and Lavi too; no one has ever gotten close enough to touch him, and here Lavi is, working his cock over like a goddamned professional. Lavi's hand is strong and calloused but soft, and Kanda has to bite his lip against an unseemly groan.

Allen finally releases Kanda's hands, a curious expression on his face. He scoots away from Kanda, staring at Lavi's hand moving up and down Kanda's shaft. Allen knew the old myth of a man having a bigger cock the taller he was, but he didn't expect Kanda to be thatlarge. He's even more excited now, and Allen didn't think that was possible.

He scoots the rest of the way off of the bed and strides over to his coat on the rack, sifting through his pockets.

Kanda tries hard to keep his hips from meeting Lavi's palm, but sparks are igniting up his spine, coiling in his groin. He brings his arm other his mouth, muffling himself as Lavi's finger traces the head of his cock.

"Lavi..."

Lavi pauses and looks up at Allen, who toys with a small jar.

"I have an idea," Allen continues, his eyes flickering between Kanda and Lavi.

Kanda trembles, his body begging for release in a way he will never vocalize if he can help it. Yet Lavi's hand stays still. He turns his head to look at the beansprout, watching him as he shimmies out of his pants and kicks them away completely.

Allen trots back over to the bed, and Lavi's hand resumes once more. Kanda's sucks in a breath as Allen climbs on top of him again and presses another kiss to his lips. Kanda accepts it this time, completely giving up on keeping his body under control.

"This will make you better very quickly, Kanda," Allen murmurs in his ear.

His cock pulses and he curls his fingers into the sheets beneath him. He's hot and shivers of anticipation trip up his spine. Kanda is pretty damned sure this is going to kill him.

Having taken it upon himself to fix Kanda up "quickly," Allen gets Lavi to move to allow him to straddle Kanda's waist. Kanda watches, enraptured despite himself by Allen's brazenness as the boy spreads the contents of his jar across his fingers. The liquid coats his long fingers, staining them slick and shiny. Allen stares right at Kanda as he makes convincingly erotic display of stretching his ass wide with his fingers. They slip in easily, one and two, and the third makes Allen's lashes flutter.

Goddamnit.

Kanda's eyes flicker over to Lavi for the briefest second. He's watching Allen too, one hand wrapped around his dick, eyes wide with lust, like he's been sucker punched.

Allen grabs Kanda's attention again as he sinks down on his cock. Kanda's had no training to prepare him to fight against the heat that's engulfing him and all he can do is bite his lips against the groans desperately trying to force their way past his lips.

His entire body tingles as Allen rocks up and down, slowly at first, getting used to his size. Allen is tight and warm, fucking wonderful even, and Kanda doesn't know how he's ever going to get this out of his head. Later, he'll try to convince himself that it was an extremelyvivid delusion, but right now, all he can focus on is Allen.

With two steps, Lavi comes back into Kanda's view as the bed dips under the redhead's weight. He's kicked off his shoes too, and he takes Allen by the chin, smoothing his thumb against Allen's lower lip tenderly. Lavi balances himself on the small bed, and Kanda jerks up against Allen involuntarily as the shorter boy opens his mouth and lets Lavi slide his cock all the way in.

Kanda's ears are filled with the positively careless moans spilling from Lavi's mouth as he fucks Allen's mouth, dragging his cock past Allen's lips only to push it back in deep. Allen moans in kind around Lavi's cock, filled up completely with Kanda. Allen reaches down to stroke his own dick furiously, so close, but needing an extra push. He rocks down on Kanda's cock harder, feeling the dark-haired boy jerk beneath him.

"Allen, Allen," Lavi moans, feeling the familiar heat swirling low in his belly. "I'm gonna–!"

"Shit," Kanda groans when Allen clamps down around him, trembling and moaning, making a complete mess of himself. Kanda feels the last shred of his willpower fall away as Allen spasms around his cock. He arches up into Allen, biting down on his arm to muffle his groans. He momentarily sees black as his orgasm takes him over, rippling through him like fire scorching his veins, leaving his nerves singed in its wake.

A few moments and deep breaths later, Kanda pulls his arm away from his mouth, surveying his own teeth marks.

Allen catches Kanda's gaze, his face covered in Lavi's come. Still seated on Kanda's cock, he stretches, feeling Kanda spasm involuntarily within him again. "Are you feeling better this time?"

Boneless and satiated, Kanda can't muster up the withering look he wants to direct at the beansprout. Lavi lets out a hearty laugh.

The devil must be freezing, Kanda thinks.