A/N 1: Feel free to set this where and when and why you like. Personally, I'm writing this as the end of S3. Sam has just saved Dean from hell. Lilith is dead. Life is good. The boys are back to simply hunting things and saving people.
I saw them pull out Saturday morning, just after 6am. Apparently they'd pulled in two nights before, beaten down and weary, and nobody had seen them stir out of their room all of Friday. I hadn't been on duty Thursday night, but Pauline told me they were young, tall, and gorgeous, even under the exhaustion and grime.
There was no grime this morning, no exhaustion either from the looks of it. Their room was across the parking lot from the motel office so I got a nice long look at the two of them crossing pavement to turn in their key and be the first of the day to enjoy the continental breakfast I'd set up in the office alcove.
There was no mistaking that they were brothers; same eyes, same chin, same inflections in their voices. The older brother - there was no mistaking that either - brought the key to the counter while the younger brother started filling two big Styrofoam coffee cups and checking out the pastries.
Then they wrapped up some Danish and donuts in napkins, capped their coffees, and headed for the door.
I thanked them for staying with us and wished them a good day. The younger one blessed me with dimples and a blinding smile. The older one gave me his blinding smile and winked at me. Whatever had been dogging their heels on Thursday was apparently gone, done, and forgotten.
Then they were out the door and across the lot and in their car, driving off into the blue and stunning sunrise, and out of my life.
A/N 2: as some of you may know from my profile page, I'm retiring (if not running screaming) from this fandom. "Time for a Wedding" finally did it for me.
Sam hasn't been a fully realized character since the end of S3. Ever since S4, it's been DeanDeanDean. Dean gets all the angst and all the glory and all the pain and all the responsibility. Sam gets all the blame. Period. Even now - even NOW - in the official logo, Dean has the halo and Sam has the snake up his arm.
If Sam had been an equal in the show with Dean all this time since S3, then yeah, "Wedding" would've been a funny episode, and Becky would've just been Becky.
But he hasn't been equal. We never got to see what Sam suffered while Dean was in hell. We never got a full picture of the depths of despair and grief and revenge Sam fell to because Dean was in hell. We got - and still get - Bad!Sam and Saint!Dean. One reviewer I read on occasion has said that in Let It Bleed, the green duffel bag had more scenes than Sam did. That in Mommy Dearest, Sam didn't even have any lines for most of the 2nd half of the episode. And more examples besides of Sam being wallpaper more often than not. The first half of S6 was ludicrous. I love ActionSam but to make it the result of him being without a soul instead of the result of hell took away all possibility for conflict within Sam. If it had been PTSD, if Sam had been able to feel something and went ahead and did all the same things anyway, it would've been more compelling. But we got Flat Sam. Amoral a-hole Sam. And now we're back to Flat Sam. Happy!Sam! Just like that! While we get MORE Dean guilt, more talking about Dean's guilt, more more more MORE onscreen Dean guilt, we get Happy!Sam! Understanding!Sam! Hallucination!Free!Sam. Never mind all the guilt and rage and depression Sam has had all his life - none of that rates even five minutes on-screen to show how he overcame it. It's just gone. Poof! Wow! While Dean gets more time to suffer - "alone".
So, to finally have Sam turned into a gagline (he must be the new Cas) while Dean once again has the worry and angst and stoicism (YAWN) plus the retconning of "Vegas Week" for the boys, especially coupled with bats-in-the-belfry-Becky was just the last straw. It was the show giving the finger not only to Sam, but to SamGirls who are portrayed as lonely, desperate losers who can't get a man unless they trick/potion/spell him. We're such pathetic, needy, stupid women that even SAM doesn't like us, and he likes everybody. While on the other hand, the DeanGirl was sexy, smart (grad school, did you notice?) and oh-so understanding of Dean needing to go take care of his poor, mentally ill brother (even though Sam hasn't had a hallucination in who knows how long and probably never will again.)
Maybe (maybe) the Show didn't mean to consciously bitch-slap SamGirls, but t was funny to them to make The SamGirl a moronic, frigid, wack job, so the result is the same.
When Kripke was in charge, I always felt like he felt that the show and the fans were all in this together. Even when the episodes were stupid. I definitely don't get that impression now. I get the impression that Gamble actually disdains the audience.
So - I'm done. If that's how the show views me, I'm done. I can't even go back and watch old episodes or read my own stories (or anybody else's) much less write any stories. It's like dating a guy and having a great time and then he makes fun of you in front of his friends. He can say he was kidding, but he probably wasn't. And it just taints the memory of the whole relationship.
On the plus side (for me) I'm working on my original fiction again, and it has ever been big brothers taking care of little brothers, so I haven't strayed too much far afield. I might reactivate my "original fiction" fanfic dot net site and start posting stuff there again if anybody ever wants to read it.
I already feel bereft of all the emailing back & forth that happened when I posted a story. But - I'm tired of getting angry and frustrated at how the show treats Sam, and Cas, and every character who isn't Dean or Bobby. Even Crowley has become dull and I thought that was impossible. Even the Impala is gone with no comment at all from Dean. It's just all ludicrous, and no longer worth it to me.
My only hope is that the show gets cancelled so the boys can be in other things that I'll actually watch.
Thank you all for everything.
CB
