When Edward leaves Bella, she finds it impossible to survive. Her view on life takes a dramatic turn. Can one persons dreams change her view on life forever. Help her get over the love of her life enough to get her back on her feet again. Will she ever be able to find her place in society ever again?
Set In New Moon.
Please R&R :)
Preface:
After he had left I had been all for giving up. I simply hadn't cared. Now I was having to give reasons to let the world survive. Something inside me told me I was finally realising that I had to move on. The only thing in my way, was the fact I knew I could never forget him. Could one person change my whole perspective on life?
Chapter One.
Bella's POV
Edward had left me to survive without him, one thing I knew was completely impossible. He had been my everything, my whole life. Now he had gone and I was left alone, my heart forever imprinted on his, he had taken that too with him.
He had been gone for three months now. I hadn't done much, I hadn't achieved anything in those three months, nothing. I wouldn't talk to anyone, I wouldn't answer any questions, and I would seem to tear apart at the sound of his name. It tore my heart in two just thinking about him. His voice would come back to me in my dreams, then fade away, leaving me alone in one big nightmare. I never remember waking up anymore. For me there was no difference between nightmares and reality. Without him, every day was a nightmare. One that I couldn't escape from, no matter how hard I tried.
I thought he knew how I'm important he was to me, that I couldn't live without him. I had no reason to live anymore, not while he wasn't here – with me- the only thing that had kept me going from the start of the end (the day he left me) was the haunting fact that Charlie would have to live without me. I didn't want to even imagine the pain that would go through, let alone the cooking.
The saying 'You never miss something until you lose it' sprang into my mind. Edward had gone, leaving me here missing him every second of every day. I had never needed him so much before. Back in Phoenix, before I even knew he existed, my life had been incomplete yet I hadn't known it. Yet that blind spot in my life couldn't be missed back then. I simply hadn't known about it, I couldn't miss something I didn't know about. Could I?
As light poured though my bedroom window, temporarily blinding me, I heard my name being faintly called from downstairs. Charlie, my caring father who I didn't deserve, was calling me downstairs for breakfast. I felt sorry for him. I wonder if it was just as painful to watch me go through living without him as it was to actually live through the pain, the guilt, knowing I was the one responsible for him leaving.
I dragged myself out of bed, the bed sheets moving with me, cascading onto the floor beside my feet. I looked at them, remembering all the nights I had spent with him, his arms cradling me, protecting me from any nightmares. My arms instinctively wrapped around my chest, holding my broken heart together. PA piece of it was missing, I knew exactly where it was, who had it. He would always have a place in my heart, nothing could take away the love I had for him, ever.
I dragged myself downstairs, one foot at a time. The longer I took, the less time I would have to face the silence that always followed me. The more time of my painful life wasted. I hated it. Edward leaving me had encased me in an indestructible bubble. Encasing me forever. It was impossible for me to be friendly anymore. Impossible to care. People walked on by as if I didn't exist. I wish I didn't, then I wouldn't have to face this much pain.
No one ever came up to me at school anymore, let alone outside. It was as if I was a magnet that had been reversed, and now I repelled anything and everyone. Even him.
He didn't love me anymore. I would never love another person, the same way as I loved him, ever again. I may never love anyone again. I may as well give up, now, stop messing up other peoples lives. Once I am dead, no one will need to pretend to care, no one would need to worry. I would be gone forever. I wasn't important anymore, I was useless. I was pointless without Edward. He had been my reason, and only reason, to exist.
As I sat down at the table, I felt Charlie's gaze follow every action. I looked up, meeting his eyes. They were full of Pain. Loss. Confusion. Despair. Horror.
I hadn't looked in the mirror for a long time. There was simply no reason to. The look on his face made me wonder if I needed to. Did I look that bad? Did I care? No.
'Bella, we need to talk…' the words that had been the material of my nightmares came spilling out of Charlie's mouth at that moment. Oh no, please no. Not a talk…
