Disclaimer: don't own FF8..nope

AN: this is a story I've been working on for a year or two now...this is my favorite ff8 couple --------------------------------------

Moonlit Memories

He shook his head and laughed bitterly, as he walked down the dimly lit path leading out of his living chambers.

It would have been her 40th birthday tonight...he would have parelyscrounged up a gift in time. When she would have opened the little box, her marble skin reflecting beautifully in the moonlight, a smile would slowly creep across her face, exposing brilliantly white teeth, and a small laugh would escape her throat as she carefully extracted the delicate necklace from it's case.

She would smile at him, and he would step behind her to carefully put the necklace on her, perhaps he would be a bit clumsy at first, but he would try to be careful all the same.

She would have turned around to face him, encircled in his arms, and kissed him, laughing so musically. She would have whispered in his ear how much she loved him, and he would have told her how beautiful she still was, not aged a day from when they had first met...when her song first played for him.

He smiled sadly as he went out on to his balcony, looking up into the stars...'would have'...'could have'...that was the path to death.

Was death so undesirable?

He was 'hero' of a people, leader and savior of a nation...of a world. Even the most powerful countries would bow their knees to him if he so wished, no man could dream to have such power and money as he.

And yet, he was alone...so, so alone.

It was true that he could have any woman he wished, it wasn't even that he was incapable of falling in love again...he had already done so before.

But no love he had ever felt had been so passionate, so poignant, so perfect.

She had been the only one truly for him, he had been a fool to have ever left that room.

He sighed softly, leaning on the railing that surrounded his balcony, he could see all of the city from here, it was beautiful in it's stillness.

She had eventually gotten over him. She married, had children...even died.

Died

He cringed slightly. She would have never died, had he been there. He had betrayed her, condemned her to death...

"I'm...so sorry...forgive me..." He whispered softly, his words dancing away on the wind. " Look here, I even bought you a gift for your birthday."

A tear escaped his soft brown eyes, another pointless gift, another silent year spent in an endless struggle for atonement.

All for naught.

"I promise I'll make it up to you..." He whispered, " I know you'll forgive me one day...I know it."

As he turned to go back into his room, he paused for one moment, for one last goodnight to his past beloved.

"Happy birthday...Julia."

He smiled softly, and entered his room.

End

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AN: There it is, I even made it through without bashing on Raine!!

Yusagi Sombermoon