The Princess on the Glass Hill
Based on the Norwegian Fairy tale and DBZ-ified.
Starring: Gohan, Videl, Goku, Chichi, Hercule, Goten, Bulma, Piccolo, Sharpner, Vegeta, Krillin, and Icarus.
A humorous Gohan/Videl fic.
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a mighty warrior esteemed by all the peoples of earth.
"DAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Hercule Satan laughed. "I am the mightiest warrior ever!"
He lived in a large mansion with his only daughter, a princess in her own right.
"I am his only daughter." Said Videl. "And I am not a princess."
In the neighboring town, there lived a poor saiyan family.
Chichi looked to her sons. "We're poor and your father is an idiot."
Goku looked up from his work in the field. "Say what?"
But they were happy as long as they were together.
"I'm happy, but still!" Chichi flung her broom out the door. "I used to be royalty! I need to marry off my sons to wonderful young ladies who match their royal position!"
Gohan looked over from chopping wood. "I'm right here you know."
The mother of the two sons was always looking for brides for them. To see that they were well off and treated with respect. However, no one ever really matched her standards.
Chichi threw her hands in the air. "No one matches my standards!"
Gohan groaned. "Mom, stop repeating the narrator."
One day, a similar thought appeared in the mind of the mighty warrior.
"Videl!" Hercule pointed at his daughter. "You need to get married!"
Videl shot him a glare before running off to fight crime. "Screw that noise!"
"No, I mean it!" Hercule hollered. "You are to marry the man who meets all my standards!"
There was no one to meet his standards in his city.
"There's no one to meet my standards in this stupid city!" Hercule exclaimed. Videl rolled her eyes, but he kept talking. "To find the perfect guy for my baby, we're going to have a little competition!"
But it wasn't a martial arts competition. The mighty warrior figured that there would be no one to best his strength. So he made up another test. One that he thought to be equally challenging. It was a test of strength, wit, and rubber soled shoes. The mighty warrior had a hill made of the finest glass money could buy. He reasoned that the perfect guy would be able to rescue the princess from the top of the hill, no sweat.
Videl stared at her father. "You're serious."
He was so serious that the very next day, he used a 50 story crane and plopped the princess on the tippy-top of the hill.
"Don't move Videl!" Hercule called cheerily from the operating panel of the crane. "You'll fall off otherwise and ruin the whole plan."
"*^$)*R%*&^$( #!" Videl spat profanities.
Anyway, the princess sat on the top of the hill of glass. It was slicker than ice, clear as the morning, and as tall as a skyscraper.
Videl rubbed at her eyes tiredly. "Dad… why in the world would you think this is a good idea." She sat down, trying not to move around so much. Falling from this thing would be deadly. Even though her father put safety nets around the bottom, it was just too much of a risk.
Word went out across the globe. Princes from every corner of the earth came in abundance to the glass hill to see the fair princess and try to climb the hill to receive her hand.
Videl glared at the gathering mob. "WHY did he think this was a good idea!?" Who would seriously risk their life to marry someone they didn't even know? What a bunch of losers.
They knew that if the princess were saved, not only would they marry her, but they would also receive half of the fortune of the mighty warrior. Eventually, word of the competition made its way to the poor saiyan family.
"PERFECT." Chichi dashed inside the house to where the men sat, eating lunch. "Pack up your things boys! We're going to the city!"
"Neat!" Goten gulped down his rice. "I've never been to the city before!"
"But Chichi," Goku protested, "why do we have to go to the city? The radishes are almost ready for harvest. We can't just up and leave."
"Nonsense!" Chichi folded her arms. "We have to get a wife for Gohan."
Gohan sprayed rice in a fabulous spit take. "Mom! That's not a good reason to…"
"Abuhbuh!" Chichi forestalled any more protests with a wave of her hand. "I understand that we need to stay home and harvest radishes, but YOU need to go and get yourself that princess!"
And so, the eldest son of the poor saiyan family made his way to the city. Now you must know that the poor saiyan family had some interesting abilities. Super strength, speed, agility, fighting prowess, and flight. They were far stronger than the mighty warrior of great esteem. However, the eldest son was forbidden by his mother to use his powers.
"What a bunch of crap." Gohan muttered, walking towards the city. "Just because the city people might think I'm weird or something like that."
On the way to the city, the eldest son passed many a prince/duke/obnoxious jerk. All of which thought nothing of his poor clothes and dirt smudged face. They laughed at and ridiculed him.
Sharpner looked down from his horse and finery. He studied Gohan's poor clothes and shoes. He sneered. "What a pathetic loser. Be gone, peasant!"
"Hey! That's not very nice!" Gohan protested.
Sharpner laughed, ignored Gohan and trotted away on his rather nice horse.
But, being kindhearted and humble, the eldest son of the poor saiyan family did not blast them into tiny, tiny bits. Instead, he took a slight detour into the woods to freshen up. He really hadn't taken a shower before he left. He thought about how he was dressed and the condition of his hair and partially agreed with the passersby.
"I probably smell bad too." Gohan muttered as he stripped down.
He waded into the stream and began scrubbing off the dirt, when he heard someone clear their throat.
Gohan slapped his hands over his privates. "Who's there?!"
A woman, dressed in robes of flowing blue, with blue hair, appeared from the woods.
Gohan's eyes widened. "Bulma?!"
"Heya Gohan." Bulma grinned cheekily. "Taking a refreshing dip are we?"
The water nymph had tested the boy's heart in the water. She knew him to be pure of heart.
"Uh…" Gohan stuttered, cheeks growing red. "S-something I can help you with?"
"Yeah." Bulma crossed her arms over her ample chest. "Your mom wanted me to help you out a bit."
"Oh great." Gohan sighed heavily. "What'd she ask you to do?"
"Oh, you know." Bulma twirled her finger in the air. "Pretty you up and all that. Help you get the princess or whatever."
She agreed to assist him by giving him that which he needed to climb the glass hill. He only needed to do her a small favor.
"But first I need to you fight Vegeta." Bulma rolled her eyes. "He's all pouty because Goku had to stay home and harvest radishes."
"It figures." He sighed. "There's no way to talk you out of this?"
"Nope."
"Fine." Gohan glanced at the pile of clothes on the bank. "Would you pass me my clothes?"
The eldest son helped the water nymph out with her pouty husband problem. It took the greater part of the day to calm the furious warrior. Finally, as the sun set low in the sky, the water nymph approached him with her gifts.
Bulma looked Gohan up and down. "Wow. You really took a beating."
Gohan shrugged his bruised and aching shoulders. "You should see the other guy."
"Shut it kakabrat!" Hollered an equally beat up Vegeta.
Bulma rolled her eyes and tossed Gohan a sensu bean. "Here, eat that and then we'll get you all dolled up."
Gohan swallowed the magic owie-healing bean. "Dolled up?"
"Yeah. You can't just go to this shindig in whatever you want! A girl likes a mysterious man." Bulma pulled out a costume. "Here, put this on."
She gave him a disguise to hide his identity.
Gohan looked dubiously at the helmet and cape. "Is this really necessary?"
"Yes. Now get dressed. That princess is probably sick of all those other jerks." Bulma strode off to tend to Vegeta's wounds.
Now disguised in finery, the eldest son of the poor saiyan family flew to the city. To the mansion of the great warrior. He landed just outside the town and walked in on foot, remembering his mother's warning to hide his power.
"Hey, nice costume ya freak!"
But no one recognized him. He felt free to use his abilities as he saw fit.
"I think I'll walk to this mansion. Flying around might give the wrong impression."
When he arrived at the glass hill, he saw many of the princes/nobles/pompous idiots struggling vainly to get off the ground. A few had made it a ways up the hill, but were slowly and inevitably sliding back down. A servant was riding around, handing out a sheet of regulations.
"Here you are, sir." A butler handed him a sheet of paper.
Gohan looked it over. "What's this?"
"The rules." The butler twirled his hand in the air. "You know. No aircraft, no suction cups, no glue shoes, no cutting/breaking the glass, no throwing rocks, that sort of thing."
"Oh, thank you Mr…?"
"Jeremiah. Jeremiah Sworthington."
"Thank you Mr. Sworthington. My name's Gohan." Gohan bowed respectfully. "It's very nice to meet you."
The butler stood a little straighter, hiding a pleased smile. Of all the buffoons who showed up to this silly escapade, the young masked man seemed the most decent of the lot. Though he didn't look at all like a prince.
Gohan straightened and looked back at the glass hill. "Can I ask you a question, Mr. Sworthington?"
"Certainly sir."
"Is it against the rules to fly to the princess without using any form of aircraft?"
The butler was taken aback for a moment. "I don't believe it is." He twirled his moustache thoughtfully. "You can most certainly try, though how you'd ever accomplish such a feat is beyond my reasoning. It is simply impossible."
Gohan flashed the butler a dazzling grin. "Implausible perhaps, but not impossible."
The butler watched as the strange disguised man lifted into the air and flew upwards towards the princess, bypassing all the other suitors. Being a man of proper etiquette, he only let on that he was slightly stunned.
"SWEET KAMI'S UNDERPANTS!"
The other suitors were not so verbose.
"HOLY %#&!"
The disguised eldest son of the poor saiyan family flew higher and higher until he reached the princess on the tippy top of the hill. The princess herself was very beautiful and for a moment, the eldest son was taken aback by her.
Gohan shook off the blush and spoke to her. "Excuse me, but are you the princess?" Gohan asked politely.
"No, but I'm the one who's on the top of this friggin' mountain!" Came the harsh reply.
Gohan winced. "Sheesh. I'm sorry I asked."
The princess was overjoyed to see that someone had finally reached the top of the hill.
"Who the heck are you?!"
"I'm Gohan." Gohan bowed genteelly.
"Well, buzz off!" Videl crossed her arms stubbornly. "I won't marry someone I've just met! Plus, I won't marry a cheater!"
"Cheater?" Gohan gaped at her. "I'm not cheating! Look!" He did a few summersaults and flips midair. "I couldn't do that with wires now could I?"
Videl stared at him. She then looked at the sky, muttering to herself. "I haven't heard the anti aircraft guns go off in a while…"
"Anti-what now?"
"You mean, you're really flying right now?"
"Sure I am!" He extended a hand. "Do you need more proof?"
Videl's eyes darted from the hand to the helmet. Did she really want more proof? She glanced down the sickeningly steep slope to the ground. It was better than staying up here the whole dang time. She looked back at the masked man and took his hand.
"Sure."
Without further ado, the disguised eldest son of the poor saiyan family gathered the princess up in his arms and flew away.
"YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!"
Gohan grinned as Videl let out another whoop. He did a triple loop the loop that time. He looked at the smiling beautiful girl in his arms. "What's your name?" He asked.
"Oh!" Videl smiled sheepishly. "I'm Videl. I guess I should've told you that first."
"So, if you don't mind me asking, why a glass hill?"
"Beats me!"
They settled on a riverbank as the sun dipped below the horizon. It was far enough from the mansion that no prince would know where to find her.
Videl shivered slightly in the chill of the night. Gohan took off his cape and wrapped it around her shoulders.
She shot him a look of thanks, but kept her distance. "Listen, I don't want to lead you on and while I am super thankful that you got me down from that stupid hill, I don't know you that well. You can ask for anything from my father, but I am not going to marry you."
Gohan let out a sigh of relief. "Thank kami!
"Wait, what?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing!"
Videl's jaw dropped. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. My mom kind of pressured me into this." Gohan smiled ruefully. "I didn't really want to get married or get all that money. You seemed like a pretty decent person, so I was going to ask you about it."
"Wow! Thanks!" Videl slapped him on the back warmly. "You're a pretty decent person yourself."
"Thanks." He smiled brightly, making Videl smile herself. "I'll go get Mr. Sworthington to take you back to the mansion. I'll see you there in the morning."
"You know Jeremy? Nice!"
Before he left to fetch the faithful servant, the princess pressed upon him a golden hair clip which he promised to return with on the morrow to make his claim.
She pulled out one of her gold hair ties. "Take this with you, in case they need to make sure it was you."
He took it gratefully. "Thank you Videl." He lifted into the night sky, waving. "See you tomorrow."
"Bye Gohan!"
The eldest son of the poor saiyan family found the faithful servant and then flew home. He told the tale to his family.
"You WHAT?!" Chichi screeched.
The men in the house slapped hands over their ears. "I barely know her!" Gohan protested. "You can't expect me to force her into marriage when she doesn't want to get married!"
Chichi paused. "Hmmmm… She just doesn't know you that well. Once she gets to know you, she'll want nothing more than to make a million grandbabies with you." She turned back to the counter she'd been cleaning. "The competition rules say that you'd be married. Tomorrow you will go back to the mansion and bring that princess home!"
Gohan slapped his forehead. This was going to be a disaster.
Meanwhile, the princess was having it out with her father. The great warrior did not believe that such a man existed.
"Whaddaya mean he flew you down?!"
"I mean, he flew me down!"
Hercule threw his hands in the air. "That's cheating! No one is allowed to use aircraft of any kind!"
"He didn't use any aircraft Dad!" Videl glared crossly at him. "He knows how to fly!"
Hercule began to sweat. "What a pack of lies! I deny the fact that that cheater ever existed! You're going right back on top of that hill until some other guy does it!"
"You're not putting me back up there!"
The very next day, the princess was back on the hill. The mighty warrior added a new rule about flying and started the competition afresh. News of this fiasco made it back to the poor saiyan family.
"WHAT." Chichi trembled in anger. "That…. That pompous… blithering… foolish oaf!" She pulled out her cast iron frying pan. "I'll show HIM who's a liar and a cheater!"
"Chichi, don't do it!" Goku restrained her gently. "We just got on good terms with the city from the last time you went to the mall!"
Chichi wilted. "But… but he…"
"It's okay mom." Gohan said gently. They knew that she'd probably give Hercule permanent brain damage. "I'll just go back again today and find out what's gone wrong."
Chichi pouted. "Alright." She said. "But when we get together for the wedding, I'll have a few choice words for that man!"
So the eldest son of the poor saiyan family headed out for the second time to the mansion. On his way, a few other princes, being sore from nearly losing their chance at half a fortune, decided to ridicule and torment him on the count of his poor appearance.
"Ahahaha! What a fool! You think you can win the fortune?" Sharpner laughed derisively. "Yeah right! You're so poor, you need any job you can get! Here peasant!" Sharpner sneered. "I've got mud on my boots! Clean them with your tongue and I'll give you a shilling!"
Gohan stared at the muscular blond. "Uh, no."
"Too bad! You could've used the money, Nerd!"
Gohan watched as Sharpner rode away on his pony. "Nerd?"
As one of the overbearing jerks headed to the palace, he was accosted by a large monster.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sharpner fell off his horse, screaming. "A MONSTERRRR!"
Icarus looked at the blonde curiously. The small dragon had grown enormous over the years. He set one huge paw on the blonde's chest, effectively pinning him to the ground.
"SOMEBODY! ANYBODY!" Sharpner screeched. "SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The eldest son of the poor saiyan family was heading that direction. He, using cunning and strategy, was able to save the noble from the vicious beast.
"Icarus!" Gohan shouted joyfully. He ran over to the dragon and hugged him fiercely around the neck. Sharpner was ignored.
Icarus made loud happy crooning noises. His friendly eyes closed in happiness. He licked his old friend all over the face with sloppy dragon spit.
"Ahahaha!" Gohan laughed. "Cut it out Icarus! Hey!" He patted the scaly hide. "Come on boy! I'm heading to the mansion, but I can take a quick detour with you for a while!"
Together, the man and his dragon galloped into the woods together. Sharpner was left absolutely bewildered on the side of the road.
Once having tamed the vicious animal, the eldest son went into the woods to rest from his exertions.
"Hey Icarus! Race you to the top of that mountain!"
While resting, he was approached by a giant who had witnessed him tame the beast. So impressed was the giant that he decided to help the eldest son. The giant stood well over 8 feet tall and had skin as green as the leaves.
Gohan grinned happily. "Hey Mr. Piccolo! What are you doing here?"
"Kid, your mom is throwing a fit. I couldn't stand to be anywhere near your house right now." Piccolo said, wiping purple blood from his ears. "The sooner you do this stupid thing, the better."
"Yeah, tell me about it." Gohan leaned against Icarus thoughtfully. "But I don't see how anyone is going to listen to me. I'm written off as a peasant every time I go to that place."
Piccolo nodded. "You're not threatening enough."
"Say what?"
"CLOTHES BEAM!"
The giant gave him a disguise in the style of his own people. This way, he could again use his powers freely in the city.
Gohan looked down at the purple gi. The cape that flowed from his shoulders was white and billowing. The turban around his head was equally white. A pair of sunglasses settled on his nose. He looked at Piccolo with stars in his eyes.
"AWESOME! Thank you Mr. Piccolo!"
"You're welcome." Piccolo dodged the impending hug. "Now get this stupid thing over with before your mother bursts my eardrums again."
Gohan nodded cheerily. "C'mon Icarus. You can come with me!" He shot off to the mansion. He needed to make up for lost time.
At the mansion, the princes and nobles were doggedly attempting to climb the hill. The fighting between the princes was worse than ever. The eldest son of the poor saiyan family arrived in time to see one of the most promising prospects fall from the hill with a loud scream.
He winced at the loud squealing noise of sliding down glass. Icarus had fallen behind, so he took the time to look for a familiar face. He glanced around, and with a smile found Jeremiah Sworthington.
"Mr. Sworthington!" He dashed over to the hassled looking manservant. "Good afternoon!"
"Ah… I'm sorry?" The man looked aghast at Gohan's turban and sunglasses. "Have we met before?"
"It's me, Gohan!"
"Gohan?" Recognition crossed his face. "Oh! Sir Gohan! It is a pleasure to see you again sir! I did not recognize you without the helmet and …" He trailed off tiredly. "Forgive me, but since yesterday, things seem to have gotten much worse around here."
"I noticed." Gohan glanced back at the squabbling going on around the bottom of the hill. "Mr. Satan ignored what Videl told him, huh?"
"That and I'm afraid that flying has been outlawed." He sighed. "It is hopeless. Miss Videl shouldn't have to go through this just for a husband."
"Tell me about it." Gohan frowned. "Some guys over there are using horses and tanks. Are we allowed to use transportation?"
"As long as it meets the guidelines." Mr. Sworthington allowed a small smile to cross his face. "Do you have any ideas, sir?"
Gohan smiled. "I might."
Remembering the beast he'd tamed earlier, the eldest son called it to his side.
"Icaruuuuuuus!" Gohan called cheerily.
The massive dragon landed next to him with a loud whoomf! Princes and dukes were sent screaming for their mommies. Even the stouthearted Mr. Sworthington wobbled unsteadily on his feet. Icarus looked at Gohan curiously. A rumbling that sounded an awful lot like a question came from his throat.
"We're going to take little trip up to visit Videl." Gohan looked up at the hill of glass. "He says we're not allowed to fly. And we're not allowed to break the hill. How about using your soft-paw technique?"
Icarus crooned his agreement. Gohan climbed up on his back and waved to the manservant. "See you later Mr. Sworthington!"
Jeremiah Sworthington waved feebly. As he watched Icarus gallop towards the hill, sending the brawlers running, a slow smile spread across his features. "Such an interesting young man."
He mounted the beast and easily scaled the hill, treading lightly to avoid breaking the glass. They soon reached the princess, who was once again overjoyed to see her rescuer.
Videl froze. "Holy &*#!"
"Hey! That's not very nice!" Gohan patted Icarus reassuringly. "And he's not THAT scary. Right buddy?"
Videl's eyes got even wider. "G-gohan?"
"Hey! You remembered me!" Gohan grinned widely, scratching the dragon under the chin. "This here is Icarus. He's my good friend from when I was little." Icarus crooned happily.
"I… your voice is the same, but what kind of getup is that?!"
"It's training gi. My mentor gave it to me."
"You train? Like, train to fight?"
"Yeah. I do martial arts." Gohan watched Icarus snuffle Videl's pigtails curiously. "I've been training since I was little. Dad taught me at first, but then my mentor took the reins." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Mom wants me to study, and I do enjoy it, but sometimes it's good to get out and fight you know?"
"Absolutely!" Videl grinned. "I've been training in marital arts since I was little! I even fight crime here in the city with the police force! It puts Dad in fits, but it's what I love to do!" She tilted her head to the side. "You know, we've got a lot in common."
"I guess we do." He gestured to Icarus. "You wouldn't want a ride down from here, would you?"
"Yes please!" She slid down the hill slightly to rest against Icarus's side. Gohan gave her a hand and hoisted her to the seat in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling off. Ignoring the blush he had, they started down the hill. He saw the angry mobs at the bottom of the hill and sighed. This was going to be a mess.
What he didn't see in looking down the hill, was just how bad Videl was blushing.
Riding the fierce beast, the princess and the eldest son of the poor saiyan family descended the hill.
They got to the bottom of the hill, but were soon swarmed by angry haters.
"YOU CHEATER!"
"GIVE ME THAT PRINCESS!"
"NO WAY! THAT REWARD IS MINE!"
"UNHAND THE PRINCESS THOU RUFFIAN!"
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!" Icraus let out a roar, forcing the rabble rousers back. Many of them with wet pants.
"Awww! Thanks Icarus!" Videl hugged the dragon from her seat on his back. "You're the best Dragon ever!"
At the bottom, the princess was turned over to her handlers.
Icarus puffed out his chest and swaggered over to Mr. Sworthington who was watching the scene with an amused face. Gohan hopped down from his dragon, turning to help Videl down. The fluffy dress she was wearing made it difficult for her to maneuver well.
Relief flooded the butler's features. "It is good to see you down on earth again, madam!"
"Good to see you too Jeremy." Videl turned to Gohan. "Thanks again for getting me down. I'm sorry about all this. Dad didn't believe me when I told him that you flew me down yesterday."
"It's alright." Gohan shrugged. "This time, there's no doubt about it."
Before he left, the princess gave him another golden hair clip.
"Yeah." Videl fussed with the lace on her gown distractedly. "Uhm… will… will you come and visit me tomorrow? I'd like to get to know you a bit better." She looked up at Gohan, her blue eyes sparkling in excitement. "Heck, I'd like to spar with you if you're cool with it!" She pulled out another golden hair tie. "Take this with you. Show them this if they don't let you in right away."
Her eyes caught him by surprise. Gohan took the hair tie and tried to fight down a hot blush. "Ah… s-sure thing! I can come by tomorrow. My mom won't have a problem with it I'm sure." He lifted into the air and floated up into the sky. "Bye Videl!"
Icarus beat his wings and lifted after his friend, nearly drowning out Videl's words. "See you later Gohan!" Videl called after them, waving madly. "Goodbye Icarus! Thanks for the ride!"
Mr. Sworthington watched Videl with a sly expression. Maybe this whole glass hill thing wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Back at home, his family listened in disbelief to the story.
"He did WHAT?!"
"C'mon mom, everyone saw Icarus climb the hill. There's no way Mr. Satan would do something like that again."
"I wouldn't be too sure." Goku said around a mouthful of food. "He seems like kind of a stubborn guy."
Back at the mansion, the mighty warrior listened in disbelief to the story.
"A WHAT?!"
"A dragon!"
"Dragons don't exist!"
"They do too! Icarus is a real as you and me!"
"LIES! Tricks and lies! I bet it was a robot dressed up as a dragon!" Hercule slammed his hands on the table. "I decree that no vehicles, mechanical or animal should be used! The man for my little girl has to be able to climb up there with only the strength of his arms!"
And so, the next morning the princess was stuck back on the top of the glass hill. The mighty warrior vowed to his daughter under pain of death that this would be the last time that he would run this test. As last time, word reached the poor saiyan family about midmorning.
Chichi picked up her machine gun. "Hercule must die."
"No!" Goku held Chichi back. "Chichi, no!"
"Don't worry Goku! I'm just going to maim him."
"Chichi!"
"Alright, alright." She dropped the gun. It hit the ground with a loud bang. She turned to Gohan and pointed a finger right in his face. "You. Princess. NOW."
Gohan gulped. "Yes ma'am."
So the eldest son of the poor saiyan family headed out for the third time to the mansion to try and win the hand of the princess.
Gohan shouted at the sky. "I'm just going to visit Videl! NOT win her hand! Or her arm or her leg!"
When he arrived, he noticed that the crowd of people was even larger than before. He could not get through the crowd to reach the glass hill. Despairing, he walked up the road to find a quiet place to rest.
Gohan looked at the teeming mass of bodies. Someone threw a pie and more shouting started. Sounds of cats screaming and things breaking reached his ears. "Uh, nope." He turned and walked up the road.
On his way, he came across a monk asking for donations. Feeling pity for the man, the eldest son emptied his pockets, giving him the last of his coin.
Gohan tilted his head at the monk. "Krillin, what are you doing?"
Krillin shushed him with his hands. "Keep it down! Look man, your mom has a long reach okay?"
"What's with the robe?"
"This is a disguise!" Krillin pulled the monk's hood lower over his face. "If someone sees me, I'll die of embarrassment. Not even the dragonballs would bring me back after that."
The monk was actually a djinn in disguise. Touched by the eldest son's kindness, he gave him a set of beautiful robes. The kind of robes only worn by kings. In this disguise, he wouldn't be recognizable.
"Actually, your mom asked someone higher up. I'm just a sub." He held out a set of clothes to Gohan. "Supreme Kai sends his regards."
"The Supreme Kai is in on this too!?"
Krillin shuddered. "Your mom is a scary lady."
Gohan went behind some bushes and changed into the clothes. It was the puffy pants, boots, shirt, and earrings from the realm of the kais. He sighed. "I still look like me though."
Krillin put a hand to his chin in thought. "How about if you go super? Your hair and eyes change when you do."
"Good thinking."
Adorned in foreign finery, the eldest son of the poor… *ahem* Gohan left for the mansion. No one took notice of him, except to avert their eyes. He looked so intense.
Gohan watched as a more official looking prince ordered his servants to build a human pyramid. He was climbing up to the top when it collapsed under him. Gohan ignored the screams and looked around for a way through the crowd.
He smiled as he recognized the now familiar shape of the manservant. "Mr. Sworthington!"
The butler jumped. He spun around, looking into the crowd.
Gohan tapped him on the shoulder. "Mr. Sworthington?"
The manservant jumped again, spinning to face him. His eyes darted up to Gohans glowing blond hair and flashing blue eyes. He swallowed nervously.
"Yes, sir?"
"It's me, Mr. Sworthington! It's Gohan!"
"G-Gohan?!" Jeremiah Sworthington's jaw dropped. "You're… Gohan? Sir Gohan?"
"You act as though you've never met me before." Gohan led the man to a bench, sitting him down carefully. "Is everything alright?"
"It's just… I didn't expect…" The man stuttered. He really didn't expect sir blonde, blue eyed, and handsome! He took a deep breath and steadied himself. "Things have gone to chaos. Poor Miss Videl is atop that foul hill again and the nobles are becoming belligerent! I fear for her safety should any one of those hooligans reach the top."
"I wouldn't worry too much about that." Gohan reassured. "They haven't gotten more than a few stories off the ground. Besides, from what she told me, I'm positive Videl can handle herself."
"I suppose, but… Sir, would you be kind enough to rescue her once more?" The manservant looked up at Gohan pleadingly. "You are the only one I trust not to do her harm." His head drooped again. "Though how you are to ascend the hill without aid of flight or beast…"
"Don't worry Mr. Sworthington, I'll get her down." Gohan nodded firmly. "I promise."
"Thank you sir." He let a smile cross his mustachioed face. "And please, call me Jeremiah."
"As long as you call me Gohan." Gohan smiled brightly. He left Jeremiah sitting on the bench and strode bravely through the crowd. The servant nodded to himself. This one was a keeper.
Gohan applied his power, making a shield around him. None of the nobles were able to touch him. He ascended the hill quickly.
The wall of bodies parted, making way for Gohan. He stopped at the foot of the hill and looked up. "Just gotta walk up it I guess…" He set one foot on the slick surface, then the other. Soon he was strolling simple as you please up the glass hill. The men below him gaped up at the sight. How was this possible?
Think Naruto.
Gohan was appalled. "You seriously just…"
Soon he reached the top of the hill. Again, the princess was overjoyed to see her savior.
Videl stared wide eyed at the man approaching her. "Uh….. who are you?"
Gohan sighed. "Why does no one remember me?"
"Well for one thing… wait…" Videl's jaw dropped. "Gohan!?"
"Yep." He gestured at the kai robes. "Though I don't always dress like this."
"No kidding!" Her eyes stuck to his face. "I just didn't expect you to be so…"
"So…. What?"
Videl's face burned in a blush. "Nothing! It's just good to see you again!" She folded her arms across her chest. "I take it you've seen your competition."
"Oh, those guys." He looked back down at the angry mob of princely lords and whatnot. "Yeah, they don't seem very nice. But they're not my competition. We're not getting married." He added awkwardly, with no little amount of regret. "Right?"
"Yeah. Right." Videl answered equally as awkwardly. She looked away. "How're we gonna get down?"
"Easy! We'll walk."
So Gohan carried the princess down the hill and through the crowd. They heckled and shouted and raged, but were unable to touch them. Gohan found the manservant and released the princess into his care.
Videl snuggled into Gohan's chest, reveling in the angry glares and shouts directed at them. Gohan laughed lightly. "Quit baiting them."
"Hey, after seeing them bumming around here for three days, I think I'm entitled to a little baiting."
He strode over to Jeremy, enveloping him in the safety of the ki shield. "Delivery for a Mr Jeremiah!" He let Videl down gently. "One Princess, at your service."
"Thank Kami!" Jeremy caught Videl up in a hug. "I was so worried."
"Geez Jeremy, you're like a mother hen." She pulled out of his embrace. She turned to look at Gohan. "Thanks again Gohan. I don't think we can spar today. I get the feeling that Dad is gonna want to do some serious public relations after this."
"That's alright." Gohan smiled. "I'm just glad I got to see you today."
A moment passed. Gohan's face bust into an incredible blush. It seemed to turn redder in the glow of his hair. He looked away and muttered something unintelligible.
Videl giggled. Her face was also tinted red. "Me too."
Gohan looked back at Videl. An expression of hope on his face. "I'll come back tomorrow! I'll come back to tomorrow and see you!" He said excitedly.
"Great! I'll spar with you then!" Videl grinned. "And then maybe we could go out for ice cream?"
Before leaving, he escorted the princess and servant through the crowd. She gave him a third golden hair clip before he left for home.
Jeremy cleared his throat. "As nice as that sounds, I think we'd better get out of this crowd." He gestured to the mob that now surrounded them, angrily pressed up against the ki shield.
"Ah, right." Gohan offered his arm. "May I escort you to your house?"
Videl laughed, punching him gently. "Why not?" She took said arm and they, along with the servant, walked to the door. Once there, she took out another golden hair tie and gave it to Gohan. Then they said their goodbyes and parted ways.
Gohan told the story to his family. They listened in disbelief.
"Wow! They tried to build a human pyramid 50 stories high?" Goku wondered.
"That's a lot of people big brother!" Goten said, eyes wide. "Did they fall down?"
"What he should be telling us is how he's home WITHOUT A PRINCESS!"
"Mom!"
"There isn't a princess in your pocket!"
"I'm going back tomorrow to talk with her father!" Gohan threw his hands in the air. "Sheesh!"
"Alright. I'll let it slide. However, if he puts her back on the top of that hill…" Chichi brandished her frying pan threateningly.
The princess told the story to her father. He listened in disbelief.
"He just… WALKED up and got you!?"
"Yes dad. HE WALKED. Just admit that he won your stupid competition fair and square!"
Hercule shook his head. "I don't believe it! He must've had glue on the bottoms of his shoes or something!"
"Actually sir," Jeremiah Sworthington piped up, "he was completely fair. I saw it myself."
Hercule grit his teeth. He paced back and forth in the hall. Videl stared at him angrily the entire time. After a minute, he relented. "Fine! However, I must see this guy for myself! Only then will I decide if he is worthy of my daughter!"
Videl threw her hands in the air. "Finally!"
The next morning, summons went out all over the world for the mysterious Gohan to appear at the royal mansion. Word reached the poor saiyan family about midday.
"YES!" Chichi threw confetti. "YESYESYES! Grandbabies here I come!"
"Mom…"
"Get thee hither young whelp!" She scurried into the little house. "I have thy wardrobe prepared!"
Goten tugged on Goku's pant leg. "Daddy, why is mom talking so weird?"
"This is supposed to be an old fairy tale, son. Things were weird in the past."
Gohan left for the mansion wearing the finest garments his mother had prepared for him.
Gohan looked in the mirror. "Do I have to wear a suit?"
"Would you rather wear the kai robes again?"
"No Ma'am."
He arrived at the mansion to see a line stretching around the courtyard and into the streets. Everyone showed up to claim to be the mysterious Gohan.
"It's getting very Cinderella story up in here." Gohan groaned. He stood at the end of the line with a sigh. "Well, there's nothing for it. I've just got to wait my turn."
And he waited. Like… as long as it takes to power up. 5 episodes worth of waiting.
Finally, after hours of waiting, Gohan reached the mansion.
"Name."
Gohan was startled slightly. He was zoning out so much that he hadn't noticed the guards. "Uh… Gohan Son."
The guard appraised him. "At least you gave us a last name." He tiredly flicked his head in the direction of the huge double doors. "The que is up ahead. Take one of the papers and fill it out to the best of your abilities."
Gohan walked curiously into the room and picked up a sheet of paper. At least a dozen others were in the room with him. He glanced down at the paper.
Question 1: What kind of prince are you?
"Wow. This is a thing now." Gohan sighed in resignation and filled out the paper full of personal questions.
He was called into the throne room. He stood before the mighty warrior and the princess. He was ready to claim what was rightfully his.
"NEXT."
Gohan glanced around the room. He was the only one left. He stood to his feet and walked into the main room. For a moment he was taken aback. It was a lot bigger than he'd thought. People thronged about on either side of the auditorium. Cautiously he made his way to the podium in front of a large throne where Hercule was sitting with Videl standing at his side.
Gohan was sincerely glad to see Videl standing there. She had a look about her that told him how angry she was. Like lava was seething just below the surface of her skin. If anything it only made Gohan more attracted to her. He fought down a blush and kept walking, trying to tear his eyes away from the object of his affection.
"But I AM Gohan!" Sharpner hollered from the podium. Gohan was startled to realize that the last session wasn't over yet. "I swear! Look at this! My birth certificate even says so!" He waved the paper in his hand furiously in the air.
"You aren't him." Videl gritted out, angry beyond belief. "LEAVE."
"BUT…"
"How DARE you disrespect my daughter!" cried Hercule. He motioned to his guards. "Take him away!"
Sharpner howled and hollered, but the guards simply picked him up bodily and flung him out the door. He landed on a pile of princes and nobles who had been too discouraged to get up and walk away.
Gohan watched the scene with curiosity. "Huh." He stepped up to the podium and smiled brightly. "Hello. My name is Gohan Son. It's a pleasure to finally meet you Mr. Satan, sir."
Hercule scowled at the perceived shrimpy kid in the slightly oversized suit. "Of course it is an honor to meet me! I AM THE GREATEST!" He laughed.
Videl just rolled her eyes.
Gohan turned and smiled at her. "Hey Videl! How are you today?"
"Shut your face loser!"
Gohan stared at her in shock. "W-what?"
Unfortunately, neither the mighty warrior nor his daughter recognized him.
"Let's get this over with." Videl sighed. "Who are you and where do you come from?"
Gohan's countenance dropped. "You don't remember me?"
"I have never met you before in my life!" She snapped. "Answer the question!"
"I-I'm Gohan Son. I hail from Mount Paozu of the Eastern most zone. We met the other day when you were on the hill for the first time. I flew up to save you."
"Tricks and Lies!" Hercule exclaimed.
Videl shot him a withering look. She didn't much care for how her father disbelieved her. She turned her attention back to Gohan. "Everybody saw Gohan fly up to me. They also saw the dragon and how Gohan walked up the side of the hill and made it so no one could touch him." She scowled at Gohan angrily. "Everyone has told me the same story over and over again. So tell me, how do I know that you are the real Gohan?"
Gohan remembered what the princess had given him for proof that he'd saved her. He pulled out the golden hair clips and showed them to the mighty warrior.
"Because you gave me your golden hair ties." He pulled them out of his pocket and held it up for her to see. They shone and glimmered in the light.
Videl's eyes narrowed. Ignoring her father's protests she leaped over the railing and down the stairs. She dashed up to Gohan and took the hair ties from him. She examined them carefully.
She looked up at him, eyes wide. "Where did you get these?" She said softly.
"You gave them to me." He smiled gently. "You told me that if they didn't let me in, to show them these. One you gave to me beside the riverbank, one as I left with Icarus, and one before I left when I escorted you and Jeremiah to the door."
The princess recognized the hair clips and nearly exploded from joy.
Videl looked into those fathomless dark eyes. He knew where they landed that first night. He knew Icarus's name. He knew who Jeremy was. "It's you." She breathed. "It's really you."
"Yeah. It's me." Gohan smiled, causing Videl's heart to flutter.
"You look different."
"I guess, but this is how I look normally. Minus the suit of course." He chuckled.
However, the mighty warrior was not so easily convinced.
"I am not convinced!"
Gohan and Videl looked at Hercule, who was red faced and blustering.
"I just can't believe that this skinny little punk has what it takes to marry my daughter!" Hercule proclaimed. "I bet he isn't even of royal blood! Just some no name peasant of no reputation!"
Feathers ruffled, Gohan spoke up bravely. "Sir, I am the son of the martial artist Goku Son and of the princess Chichi Mau, daughter of the Ox king." He saw the slight paling of Hercule's face, but continued. "I am a prince of the Ox kingdom. I have bested and defeated the great menace that is Cell." Power surged around him and he transformed into a supersaiyan. "I am in love with your daughter and no matter how many times you put her on that kami-forsaken hill, I will rescue her!"
Gohan stared Hercule down. The 'mighty warrior' cowered under the fierce gaze and mumbled something that sounded like consent. Gohan nodded and powered down. He turned to say something to Videl and froze. He realized what he just said, even after they told each other that they weren't ready for marriage.
"Videl I… What I mean is that I…" He trailed off at the look on her face.
Videl's baby blue eyes beamed with joy at Gohan. "Well, if you love me so much," she said, voice filled with amusement, "let's get married."
And so, the princess happily married the eldest son of the poor saiyan family. There was never before such a happier occasion.
"YES!" Chichi threw more confetti in the air. "YES YES YES YES! THE PLAN WOOOOOORKED!" She danced around. "GRANDBABIES GRANDBABIES GRANDBABIIIIIIIIIIES!
Goku winced. "Chichi, you don't have to yell."
Gohan declined the riches and chose instead to live quietly with the beautiful princess. Well, if you call living quietly fighting crime every chance they got. In short, they lived happily ever after.
The end.
