Captain's Log: Entry 1:

Monday 4th January 2016:

GOD DAMN THAT POSH TWAT TO HELL!

Apologies, I just had to let that out.

Well, I suppose an explanation is in order.

I'm about to leave for work this morning when I get a phone call from my boss. And he proceeds to tell me that as of today, I am an official resident within the EU house.

Of course, me being me, I politely grit my teeth and hung up before I tore that posh twat a new one.

He organised for me a lockable apartment within the EU house where I am now sitting typing this Log. I suppose it could be worse, I could have signed that Open Borders Treaty and had everyone be free to come into my room at any time night or day. That would have been a disaster!

Now, obviously this place is filled with everyone that I hate and everyone that hates me. Europe has never had the best internal relationship.

Ah, I just hope I don't snap and end up killing someone by the end of this year…

Anyway, I'll talk more tomorrow. Cheerio!