That's It?

"The Jack Harkness?" The woman cocked her head and carefully considered the man standing in front of her. "Oh, yes, I've heard all about you."

The man in question puffed up proudly. "All of it good, I assume, splendid in fact?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. 'Oh, dear God, Jack, don't you ever learn?'

"As a matter of fact, I was told that you are without a doubt the best kisser in the Tucharme Pleasure Galaxy," she nodded. "I've been there on three of my five honeymoons and it's a very wicked and impressively decadent place, I must say, so you must be pretty good to have earned a reputation there."

"Is there something you'd like to share with the class, Cariad?" Ianto raised an eyebrow and fought to keep the smirk from his face.

"Well, I don't like to brag, but…" Jack preened like a peacock, looking like he was about to explode from smugness.

The woman's laughter was light and lilting. "You really don't have to; your admirer is doing it all for you!"

"Jack, who would be telling everyone about you?" Gwen's eyes were huge as she listened to their visitor from the Rift. "Who did you kiss there?"

A bark of laughter erupted from the immortal. "It's more like who didn't I kiss!"

'You bloody well haven't kissed me, you twpsyn!' Gwen mentally stamped her foot in frustration. She'd give anything she could get her hands on to be kissed by Jack.

Sensitive to the emotions of others, especially if they were negative feelings, the woman hid her smirk and decided to play. 'I've got nothing better to do at the moment.'

"Personally, knowing the source?" She smiled disarmingly at those around her, ignoring Jack but knowing just the right buttons to push. "I think the claims are highly exaggerated." She finally turned her gaze on Jack. "Care to prove me wrong, stud?"

Never one to back down from a challenge, Jack took hold of her chin and gently turned her head just a bit then leaned in and sealed his lips to hers, kissing her within an inch of her life. Finally, he was forced to release her, the lack of oxygen was making him light-headed.

The woman put her hands on her hips and stared at him. "That? That's it?" she asked incredulously. "That's what John Hart's been going on about forever?" She rolled her eyes in a manner to severely rival Ianto Jones, gathered up her belongings and followed green-with-envy Gwen towards the stairs to the lower levels. "Hart's standards have really slipped," she was heard to say as they disappeared from view.

From the medbay came a maniacal shriek of laughter followed by a loud thud, then a strangled and pained "Ooowww…" and then more insane laughter.

Jack looked around the Hub; Toshiko was giggling like a fiend but trying to cover it up by looking for something in her desk drawer, while Ianto was very busily sorting two sheets of paper in a folder… over and over again. From the rafters, Myfanwy could be heard softly hooting and snorting in her aerie.

With his lower lip beginning to quiver just the tiniest bit, Jack gathered up what was left of his shattered dignity, gave a small and oh-so-pathetic sniffle and started upstairs towards his office, looking very like a man going to the gallows.

Ianto glanced at Tosh, giving her a rueful smile and bumping his head in Jack's direction. "I'll um… guess I'd better…" His voice trailed off and he hurried after Jack. "Come here and kiss me, Cariad, so I can make it all better…"

"I am good, aren't I, Yan?" Jack's tone was quite plaintive.

"You, Jack Harkness, are the very best kisser I have had the privilege of snogging," was the last thing Tosh heard before the door closed quietly behind them.

end