Love can be so very frustrating for a girl and a boy…let alone for a human girl and a vegetarian vampire.
All the characters in here do not belong to me; they are only Stephenie Meyer's and I am grateful she created them giving us all something to fantasize about.
Hope you'll like my very first attempt! Read and review, if you like! Thanks!
BELLA'S POV
"No, Alice! Absolutely not! There's no way I am ever going to wear this...this..." how on Earth could I call it? Not swimsuit, definitely. I had been staring at these two filmy pieces of cloth in my hands for a solid minute, before realising that they were actually what I was supposed to wear for our swimming afternoon. Alice had to be joking! She couldn't possibly believe I would wear that! After all, I had brought my blue Olympic swimsuit, which I was sure would serve me just as well.
"Oh, Bella, honey…You have a poor sense of fashion! Leave that to me. I am sure somebody will appreciate it! - And with that she left me on my own, giggling and taking my old swimsuit with her. Then I heard her voice behind the closed door once again - Get changed…We are wasting time and you know how nervous Edward gets when he can't see you for more than five minutes!" More giggling.
I hated it when Alice used her visions against me…'Somebody will appreciate that!' Her words echoed in my head, as I looked at myself in the huge wall mirror for a second, holding the ridiculously small bikini in my hands and imagining myself wearing it. Was she revealing what she had seen already or was she simply guessing? Ugh!
What if Edward would really appreciate me like that? What if this could somehow distract him from his stubborn set of rules, the first one of which read: "Thou shall not force me into doing anything that might kill you!" which in his opinion seemed to include most physical forms of closeness?
I knew enough of Edward to feel confident he would not be moved that much from my appearance in nothing more than this bikini. He could be exceptionally stubborn and had an uncommonly strong self-control.
I was quite convinced that I did not remotely attract him 'that way' as much as he attracted me, no matter what he had claimed during the first night he had stayed with me.
After all, he was a Greek God and I was no more than a klutz girl of eighteen. He insisted on saying I was being ridiculous on that point, but he was not human and base instincts like sexual tension were probably almost above him, or at least easier to control.
It did not matter that I was desperately willing to take the risk or that I seemed barely able to breath anytime I was close to him because of my very own thirst for him.
All of a sudden another flash came to my mind, something I had stupidly not considered before, too worried as I was about not embarrassing myself by drowning.
I would not be the only one in a swimsuit today. He would be in one too. His glorious body was not going to be over-dressed as usually, and all my speculations about the muscles of his hard body were going to become a piece of art for me to watch and admire. Or to drool upon, actually.
Holy crow…
Edward first rule seemed to be even more obnoxious than usual and certainly about to be shattered for the umpteenth time. Always by me.
Damn his self control and his Adonis body!!
I spent ten minutes in Alice's room, thinking and changing into her bikini. When I was ready, I couldn't even watch myself in the mirror. I felt so embarrassed and the blushing, which usually covered my cheeks only for seconds, menaced to last about a couple of weeks.
I slowly opened my eyes to face the mirrored image, which actually wasn't as scary as I thought. It surely did not help my blushing crisis, no matter how hard I tried to fit the too few amount of cloth to cover some more of my pale skin.
I guessed that there was nothing much I could do about it, though. Not with Alice foreseeing every damn move I made!
Plus, everybody was already waiting for me. I knew because Emmet ("Thanks, kid! I just won my bet with Edward that you would take longer than Alice!"), Jasper ("Bella? Are you alright in there?") and Alice herself ("Don't mind them, Bella! They don't know we take so much time because we want to make ourselves gorgeous for them!") had already knocked at the door.
I shivered slightly, then quickly wore my shorts and my faded, green t-shirt and breathed deeply one more time, before forcing myself out of the room.
When I opened the door, I found myself facing my whole world with an uplifted hand, evidently ready to take his turn in knocking, and a curious expression.
He chuckled and then flashed my favourite smile. "Sorry…Emmet was afraid that you were barricaded in the wardrobe! I am glad you aren't!"
I smiled back weakly in response, feeling my knees shaking. He looked simply shocking.
There was no way that that rule could hold today!
He was wearing a sleeveless blue shirt, which suited his pale skin perfectly (and showed off his strong arms…Oh gosh!), old jeans and a pair of flip-flops. Even his feet were perfect.
"Ready to go?" he then asked, bringing my hibernated mind back to Earth.
"Yeah, sure." I answered, feigning calmness. I was all but calm.
He grabbed my hand and smiled again, as if having me near him made him the proudest vampire in the whole world. I had to chuckle at that. The proudest was probably Rose, but she was out with Esme today. Which made it all so much simpler for me.
I could not have borne the comparison, even if Edward had made it perfectly clear that no such comparison could ever exist between me and his sister.
For me, though, it was hard already to have Alice to stand up to, but Rose had an explosive, sensual beauty, whereas Alice's was much more delicate.
As we walked to the back of the house to reach the swimming pool, I realised it was not as cold as I thought it would be. The sun was actually shining: this would have made my day once, but not today.
I knew what vampires looked like in the sunshine and therefore I was totally sure about my immediate drowning as soon as my eyes would catch Edward's frame under its rays.
I was in for a long afternoon.
EDWARD'S POV
I could not believe it! Betrayed by my favourite sister of all people. She had to know how hard it was for me to keep my hands in check and look what she was having her wear of all things! I would have gone for some 19th-century-like, protective, unsexy, ankle-long swimsuit!
"Oh, Alice!" I muttered. Emmet and Jasper, obliviously nudging each other, ignored me.
I could see Bella's distraught face as she looked at the small bikini through my once beloved sister's eyes.
"No, Alice! Absolutely not! There's no way I am going to wear this…this…" a frown appeared on her delicate features and I very much felt like rushing to her side to make it better.
"Oh, Bella, honey…You have a poor sense of fashion! Leave that to me. I am sure somebody will appreciate it! Get changed…We are wasting time and you know how nervous Edward gets when he can't see you for more than five minutes!" Now I felt very much like rushing to strangle Alice! If only that could have been possible!
I did not have to wait long to face her, though, because she appeared in the living room after a minute, still grinning.
'Look at your face! Cheer up, bro…She is terrified already as it is!' she thought.
"Wonder why that is!" I spitted out, with a scowl.
"Oh, come on, don't be mad, Edward…Her costume wasn't flattering at all! Don't you always say how poorly she sees herself? I guess it's about time for her to learn self-esteem!" she said, approaching me and placing a gentle hand onto my tense shoulder.
Emmet and Jasper stopped fighting and stared at us instead.
"Is she ready yet?" Emmet asked, impatience in his voice.
"Not yet, Em. Patience. A girl takes some time." Alice reminded him. Of all people, Emmet should know. Rosalie's amount of time spent in front of a mirror was ridiculous!
"Oh, man…I am bored! Can't she speed things up a little? If she takes as long as Rose…" he started.
"She won't!" I blurted out. I knew that. Any time I spent the night with her, which was every other night, actually, she only took minutes to change into her pyjamas. Still, that short time seemed like an eternity to me, without her, but that was not the point.
"Yeah! Sure…They are all the same, Ed! I bet she'll take more than 15 minutes! Longer than Alice!" Emmet insisted.
"Bet's on!" I replied, feeling somehow unsure. Bella's reaction to Alice's bikini wasn't encouraging. Still, I had to defend my princess.
I lost. I was starting to feel conscious. What if inviting her had been the worst idea ever? It now seemed so, after Alice's fashion brainwave. What if I could not keep my hands in place? What if my determination to keep her safe, no matter how badly I wanted her, shattered under my family's eyes? What if…
'It's going to be fine, Edward…I have seen it. You love her. There's nothing wrong in what you feel. You know you wouldn't hurt her!' Alice's voice was somehow guilty, but determined and calm.
Everybody seemed to be so sure about it. Everyone but me…It still was difficult for me to be by her side and keep my self-control. And it had nothing to do with her blood anymore. That thirst had long been silenced. It was another kind of thirst that menaced to undo me and I was not sure that I could, worse, that I wanted to resist.
Completely drowning in my misery, I barely noticed Emmet, Jasper and Alice's attempts to take Bella out of her own stupor and out of the room.
'Maybe you should go to her, Edward, before Emmet knocks the door down! We'll wait outside.' Alice warned me mentally.
I moved then, trying to control my own steps and emotions. What if she really did not want to come out? Why had I invited her today? Couldn't I just take her out for a walk or an ice-cream. I loved watching her eat, after all! Swimming afternoon…damn it!
I was in front of the door before even realising I had gone out of the living-room. I raised my hand to knock, still completely lost in my own thoughts, so lost that I barely listened to her opening the offending door in front of me.
Her face was something too mysterious to me still, her eyes my only glimmer into her world. Looking up at her, I felt for what had to be the umpteenth time the excruciating need to know what she was thinking.
She was simply standing there, watching me, in silence, as if she had never seen me before. So typically Bella!
I chuckled and smiled, trying to ease the looming tension. "Sorry… Emmet was afraid that you were barricaded in the wardrobe! I am glad you aren't!"
She blushed and looked down for what seemed like a year to me.
I could not stand there restless and silent. "Ready to go?" I asked, hoping that she was. I suddenly needed some air.
"Yeah, sure." Thank God.
I reached out for her hand instinctively and smiled in relief. I did this every time I could, not only for the ineffable feelings that her skin and touch awoke in me, but also because somehow I wanted her to know she was safe with me. Which of course was a big, fat lie…But since I could not stay apart from her anymore, I wanted my presence beside her to be exactly what she needed.
We silently headed to the back, where the warmed swimming pool was. I did not speak, but looked at her with such rapid eye movements that she could not possibly have noticed. She was simply perfect. As she did when she was sleeping, talking, eating…living, actually. How luckier could I get…
The green shirt seemed to be moulded onto her delicate frame and the shorts left her pale legs half-naked…I shivered, thinking about how much more that cursed bikini would have allowed me to see.
"Why are you doing this to me, Alice!" I whispered, sure that my sister only could have heard me.
'Relax, Edward…Remember your love for her. She deserves you to let her breath a bit around you. You should not live this in fear. It's not going to last forever. Not in this form, I mean.'
"Thanks for reminding me Alice!" I scoffed quietly.
We reached the swimming pool, the others already playing ball in the water: it was then that a very wicked and sunray decided to touch what I felt mine. It played in her hair, turning them gingery; it lingered on her red, wet lips, making them even more inviting and on her body, warming it up, like I would have wanted to do…I felt a pang of jealousy for the sun, which was an evident sign that Bella had finally reached her subconscious goal. She had driven me insane.
"Oh, man…" I whispered. I was in for a very long afternoon.
