"You haven't even come close to hurting me." She says as he throws her around the room, struggling for dominance.
"Afraid to give me the chance," he retorts just before she wins the battle and throws him into a wall, then shoves him again and pins him there, "You afraid I'm gonna…"
Slowly, Buffy's eyes fluttered open as a tear escaped her. Once more, the memories had crept back in while she slept. It had been nearly a year, and still she couldn't escape him. The pain in her heart only grew with each day. Quietly, she walked to the bathroom and washed her face before undressing for a shower. The sun was falling over the horizon out her window, which meant she only had an hour before patrol. Sleeping during the day had become normal for her on the weekends.
Since the demise of Sunnydale, or Sunnyhell, the Scoobies had relocated to Rome, where Giles opened a watcher/slayer institute for young men and women who wanted to fight the good fight. Giles – with the help of Willow and Andrew – taught watchers as she and Faith, occasionally, taught slayers. Every few weeks Faith would disappear for a few days. They all knew she'd never fully settle down. Weekend nights were reserved for the advanced students to go on patrol and learn first hand. She took them out to a cemetery and taught them how to do what she lived for.
Things hadn't been smooth since they'd moved. Not for her, anyways. Sleeping was horrible at first; she'd have a nightmare every few nights. Although closing the hellmouth had brought her closure, it had also brought her a broken heart. A little too late, she'd realized the cookies were ready, so they'd become charcoal. Everyone else was doing fine – which pleased her – so she carried on. Lately things had been better. Although she still wasn't as happy as she'd like to be, not only for herself but for everyone around her, she was content. She made the best of what she had. She lived, for him.
As she washed her hair, Buffy let her mind wander. Faith was walking around the flat; she could hear footsteps, so she tried not to get too lost in thought. In an attempt to show Faith she had a home with them, Buffy had offered her a room in the flat. Dawn was in a dorm with a few other girls studying to become a watcher, so she had an extra room, and Faith was a better choice than Andrew. Their relationship would never be anywhere near what it could be, but Buffy knew they were better off this way. They knew each other better than anyone these days, and a great part of that was due to the silent understanding they had. Faith knew Buffy's feelings for Spike without asking.
Willow's voice was heard ten minutes later, and Buffy decided it was time to get out of the hot water. After wrapping a towel around herself, she turned to the mirror to run a brush through her hair. Once she'd finished straightening the tangles, she walked back to her room to get dressed. The girls would show up soon and it wasn't polite of the teacher to keep them waiting. Without wasting time, Buffy dropped her towel and pulled on her underwear and clothes. Earlier she'd laid them out, knowing she would end up taking a little too much time in the shower. Once she'd finished buttoning the jeans, she straightened the grey shirt she had on and walked back the bathroom to quickly blow dry and braid her hair.
"Buff, come on, the girls are down the hall on their way." Faith's voice was heard from just outside her door as she opened it. Her smile eased Faith's worry lines and she walked out to say hi to Willow before the girls came in. "She was already ready, I told you." Faith said to the red head sitting on the kitchen counter when the reached the front room.
"Hey Will, no Kennedy tonight?" she asked, with a brow raised. The two were on and off, every so often one would pick a fight and the other would take refuge in friends. At the moment it looked like Kennedy had picked the fight, which meant Willow would be tagging along for the lesson. Although she'd never admit it, Willow enjoyed patrolling. She'd become quite the fighter in the past year, Buffy was proud of her.
"Xander and Andrew kidnapped her for poker." Willow shrugged and offered a smile.
"More Will for us, then." Buffy smiled and opened the door after hearing a light knock. Five young girls stood before her, with eager eyes. "Alright ladies, what's the first rule?" They each held a stake up before Faith stepped out and past them, followed by Willow.
"Excellent, be prepared." She smiled and shut the door before following them out.
"Pass the chips G-man!" Xander said, a little louder than needed.
"Is it absolutely necessary for you to be so loud?" Giles asked as he passed the bowl of chips to Kennedy to pass to Xander. Andrew was in the kitchen, on his way back in, and Dawn was over at the stereo. They had all decided to spend the night hanging out playing poker and other card games. Willow had opted to go on patrol because she wasn't big on cards.
"Who wanted the coke?" Andrew's a-little-too-feminine voice sounded and Kennedy waved a hand before returning her concentration to her cards. It had been an hour since they'd started the game, Dawn had already quit, and Andrew wasn't in more than a hand. They weren't much for gambling, which was all Kennedy and Xander wanted to do tonight, apparently. Giles was trying to keep the peace between them by staying in the game, but even he was about to quit. They were getting a little too hardcore for him, so the knock on the door came as a relief. Dawn was the closest, so she answered, and nearly regretted it when she did. The thoughts that ran through everyone's minds were interrupted when the first guest spoke.
"Hey everyone, how've you been?" he asked, awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. The entire situation was a bit awkward, as well as surprising. Confusion was thrown in there, but mostly they were shocked. Giles was the first to speak. He'd stood and joined Dawn at the door at that point, and was the only one – it seemed – to be grasping the reality of the situation.
"You must be joking. Angel, you are, joking, aren't you? And this, who is…" he looked closer at the second man, with a skeptical look in his eyes. He wasn't sure what to make of the blonde man. Everyone seemed to silently agree that this situation was far less than ideal, regardless though; he stepped aside for the men to walk in. They understood why he'd done so and walked in so he could close the door.
"Look, there is a lot we need to explain." Angel spoke again, "But you've got to try to remember how unnatural everything involving him is." He nodded towards his companion, and shook his head. Kennedy then caught his eye, and he looked at Giles. "Who is the kid?"
"Irrelevant, Angel. Explain the… Explain." Dawn said, crossing her arms. She had walked around the men – apparently regaining proper thought – and joined Giles in front of them. Her eyes still hadn't left the man at Angel's side. He looked far too much like Spike. Far too much like the man who'd died and left her sister heartbroken. Like the man who had saved the world. This entire situation was out of her comfort zone. She missed Spike as much as Buffy – almost. He was her greatest friend. Spike was the only person who treated her like she wasn't five; like she knew how to be responsible.
"Let me take this one, captain forehead." The man said, stepping forward slightly, so as to make a point that he was going to do the talking, not Angel. "Look, lil bit, it's me-" at that, he was cut off. Dawn's fist hit him harder than she'd struck anyone before, and it sent him staggering back a step or two. His hand instantly went to his jaw, where she'd hit him, and he held out his free hand to stop her continuing assault. "What the bloody hell was that for?" He growled, once he'd figured himself out and stepped back up. His hand was still at his jaw.
"Don't you dare, ever, call me that. Only one person could ever call me that, and he is gone." She stated, firmly, and the glare she was shooting at him – he could've sworn – was enough to kill. Giles stepped forward then, hoping to calm them both down.
"Dawn, give him a chance to explain. Just, calm down. Take a breath and continue… whoever you are…" he looked at the man with an eyebrow raised, still unsure what to make of it all. Andrew was standing beside him, and Xander was beside Dawn at this point. Kennedy was still at the table, but standing like the rest of them, not far away. She wasn't sure what to make of the situation; she was never really a part of the group. Never really one of them.
"First off, you know who I am. Second, when is she coming back?" he asked, his eyes on Dawn. The youngest looked the toughest at this point, and she seemed to be ready to kill him.
"If you're referring to Buffy, she won't be back for a few hours." Giles answered, knowing the question was directed at him.
"Right. Well, I think we all remember how I died… saving the world and whatnot. Bloody well thought that was the end of it, but that wouldn't be right would it? Three weeks later – as I'm told – I appear in Captain Forehead's office after he's opened and envelope. Tried hitting him after one of his brilliant remarks and walked right through the git. Damn well fell over, I did. Well, I tried leaving, but once I hit the street I was back in his office, so after a few more tries we realized I couldn't leave. I was stuck with Broody Brow here." He said, nodding in Angel's direction. "Well, Fred – bless her little heart – tried her hardest to re-corporealize me, but the fates just weren't having that. Wasn't more than a month though, phones were going nuts, things weren't right, and then I walked into a door. Seemed the Powers that Be thought it was time for me to have my body back." His lips curved up, and that old familiar smirk appeared. Dawn's body language changed, to more of a shocked pain than an angry pain. She recognized that smirk, and only one man would ever wear it. He tried to focus on the words he needed to get out, rather than be there for the lil' bit and it proved difficult, but possible. "My first thought, obviously, was 'The girl. Find the girl…'" he looked down then, the pain still hitting him, "I couldn't though, after dying the way I had… She saw me burn. I couldn't just show up. What would I say, 'Oh, here I am. No worries – I'm back!' I'd died a champion, for her. Showing up would mean I hadn't really died. It was better to let her have a real life than to show up and mess things up all over again.
"I only ever made a mess of things." He finished that bit with a shrug, unsure of how to explain it better. "Well, I went back to Broody Brow and decided to fight with him. If I couldn't have my cake, or eat it, I'd just make the best of the new life I'd been given. Wasn't long before the nancy git got us into a mess, though." He scowled at Angel then, who looked down at his feet. Angel knew he'd messed up, but there was no going back. He'd done wrong, but it was a wrong that simply couldn't be undone. "Well, we went into the latest apocalypse. Fought the senior partner army of hell." He snorted then, "It was a long fight, but we came out on top of course." Spike smirked, and looked at Giles' face. The man looked as though he was seeing a ghost. They knew their story would be hard to believe, but it was a cruel irony that the Scoobies found it hard to believe. They'd seen the worst as well.
"It's you." Dawn whispered, her head shaking slowly. Xander was speechless beside her, getting a bit pale. Kennedy seemed content with the explanation, though still on her guard, and Andrew had gathered himself enough to nearly tackle Spike with a hug. Spike's eyes didn't leave Dawn though, who stood still as stone. Her eyes didn't leave him either, though the tears welling up were enough to blur his image. When Spike had had enough he pried Andrew off and took a step towards Dawn, carefully. She didn't seem to notice, so he put a hand on her shoulder and she fell into him before wrapping her arms around him tightly. Spike hugged her back, but not as firmly, not wanting to hurt her. Xander was the next to speak, apparently having taken enough time to think out the situation.
"So we're all glad you're alive, here… But, what about Buffy? You're okay with taking her new life – however lifeless it may be – away from her now? I mean, she hasn't made much of a life for herself other than teaching potentials, but she's done her best to move on the past year. Now you come back, what about her?" Xander's arms were crossed over his chest. The thought hadn't much occurred to Spike, all he'd thought about was seeing her again; the love of his existence. Before he could reply though, Dawn turned to speak.
"We all know you aren't a fan of their relationship, Xander, but think about this. We'll have Buffy back, the real Buffy. She won't just be going about her daily duties, she be living again. Don't you want that?" she shot him a pleading look. Giles seemed to agree, because he nodded when she'd finished – the look on his face was hard to read between disgust, understanding, and hope.
"You all realize that she's probably going to figure out he's back anyways, right? I mean, we can't really turn them away. There's nowhere for them to go. I'm sure they haven't got money for a hotel room – not that they'd find one sun-proof anyways. And she'll run into him at some point while he's here. We can't turn them away. Not after all he did for us." Kennedy's words were true, and not one of them could deny it.
"The only real question I suppose is when do we tell her?" Giles said, looking at Angel, "It will be hard enough on her to know one is here, knowing they're both here and alive…" Giles looked at Angel now, knowing the last time Buffy spoke of him she wasn't very fond of him. "We can't tell her about them one at a time. So we'll have to do it at the right time. How she takes this will be entirely up to her." He sighed and took off his glasses to clean them. The thoughts running through his mind weren't his alone, but everyone's.
"We need to see her tonight." Angel finally spoke up. They looks he received were less than polite, but he continued. "I know Buffy. As much as you all hate to admit, you know I'm right. If we're here more for a night without her knowing, she'll be pissed. She'll hate us for not telling her sooner already, and she'll hate you all for keeping us from her more than necessary." He shrugged, hating the fact that he was right. They all hated it, but they all knew it to be true.
