And in this universe, we have...
this is going to be sick, so please, dont judge me, i just wanna write!

Just a few messed up warpings of the x-ev characters. I feel that everyone deserves time to smoke some chronic pot and write what they feel like... :)

::insert lame diclaimer here::

Kurt fans are sissies

Uni-brow: Has power to shoot his eye-brow hairs in any given direction. Cannot control this power, because of a penis through the ear as a child. Must wear a pokEmon cap, like Ash to control his power.

Rabid dog: Answers to the name Fido. Call us if you see him, he might hump your leg. Nuff said

Sabre-tooth tiger: Runs with the Power Rangers gang. Extremely dangerous. He bites!

Earthworm: Dirty German spy. Speaks with a gay accent. Has his way boys, dogs, and various single celled organisms. Avoid at all costs if you value your virginity, pride, or sanctity of your body!

Puppy: Fat bitch who claims nothing can move her. Attempts to phase through walls with 3 buckets of KFC chicken. Fails miserably and disruts her metabolism in the process.

The BoB: Sales tax accountant. Will attempt to sell you a mortgage. DON'T BUY IT!

No-spike: Popped a spike in the wrong place once. Was never the same ever again

Vogue: Model for the Victorias secret catalog as well as several other brands. By the way, she can syphone your life force by making you look at her breasts. Ah the damned ironies of this world!

Fly trap: he doesn't have any special powers, but he keeps the place free of flies. we dont know how though... :-(

Bean Gray: Has amazing control over her human body. can secrete deadly gasses from any pore.

Professor Chuck Norris: Has a deathwish and a six shooter

Maggie: throws his weight around with his rattler and lolipop

Mystic: Sells overpriced sweet drinks to defeat her enemies (i dont know how many of you can get this)

Lance: Guy riding around on a bicycle thinking he's a knight. Need I say more?

Pietro-pan: Same as lance with fairies and a wand

Have-a-drink: Uses his powers over cosmic energy to open up bottles of smirtnoff vodka and drink em down.