Hikaru Sulu followed Captain Kirk into the turbolift. As soon as the doors closed the captain turned to the lieutenant and said, "That never happens again."
Hikaru nodded and said, "You know he had all the alarms turned off? He said he doesn't need them and they go off too much. They go off too much! We are lucky Mr. Spock was alert. If all they needed to do was ask the computer to draw a map anyone could be a navigator on a starship."
"What if that asteroid had been going faster?" Kirk said.
"What if we had been? Chekov uses the computer's course as a starting point. He would never send me something without checking it for potential problems. I can understand that not everyone can consider other options in their head, but minimally they are supposed to check viability of the course before they send it to the helm. And they are supposed to be watching the scanners. Chekov does a better job when he's working from the science station than that guy does sitting right next to me."
"He can't be on my bridge again." Kirk said firmly.
"Not that it matters, but I support your decision." Sulu said.
"It matters a little bit, maybe." Kirk laughed. "Who's up next?"
Sulu said thoughtfully, "I'm not certain. I'll have to check and get back to you. We are going to have to get more navigators at some point."
"I know, I know. I keep requesting, but they lost most of the experienced ones, and every ship they send out has to have several, and there aren't all that many that go into it. You have to be pretty smart to pass the classes, but we both know all the really smart people want to pilot, so there just aren't that many available." Kirk said.
Sulu shook his head, "I am going to tell Chekov you said that."
"Don't," said Kirk, "because he will immediately switch to pilot, and then you will have even less qualified people to draw from."
"Good point." Sulu laughed. He grew more serious and said, "You know Lieutenant x'Tan has lots of experience right? He worked a few years on the Endeavour before he transferred. He was Pike's beta shift navigator. He'd have been probably been alpha if Pav hadn't been available. He is technically our number three guy. What does that say about whoever is number five? I'm scared to meet them."
"That is disturbing." Kirk said. "I am still going to see that he asks for a transfer but if he's replaced with someone worse we're all screwed. When Chekov gets upright he's got to draw up some sort of schedule for competency evaluations."
"They already do them every six months. It's regulation so it's mandatory. x'Tan always passes, and Chekov always bitches that he shouldn't have. They kind of hate each other. When x'Tan works gamma shift Chekov doesn't even wait for him to leave the bridge before he calibrates every piece of machinery the guy touched."
The captain grinned, he loved mischief. He said, "Seriously! I never noticed. I can't see the galaxy's happiest ensign being mean to the gamma shift."
Sulu smiled, and said, "Believe me, he's provoked. At our division meetings x'Tan acts like Pav is a cute little performing puppy. And then too he implies to everyone on board that it is some sort of amusing accident that Pav got the alpha position. Chekov has always said the guy was incompetent, from the first time they worked together, but until today I always assumed it was really x'Tan he didn't like. I mean, x'Tan hides it well; I didn't even notice how lazy he was the first couple shifts he filled in. It wasn't till you were off the bridge and he relaxed that he almost got us all killed."
"Why is he still on my ship?"
"He's gamma relief navigator. There's not much lower you can go and still be considered assigned to navigation. It wasn't a popular posting by the way. The way x'Tan tells it, Pav is jealous of his rank and experience and poisons both of us against him."
"He nearly directed my ship into the side of an asteroid; that poisoned my attitude." Kirk said firmly. "I don't care how short we are, I don't care what anyone says. He's not coming back. Look at the schedule, pick someone to fill in and get back to me. Just remember Darwin can't work all the time."
Hikaru sighed and asked, "How long till we can have Chekov back?"
"Bones says at least another week."
"Another week! That's long."
"It's probably realistic though. I saw him when I went down to sick bay today, he looks bad. They moved him out of isolation, but then his fever went up again. Bones is hanging over him like some kind of concerned blue vulture." Kirk smiled and added, "I picked a bad time for a visit. Bones was right in the middle of one of his healthy lifestyle motivational speeches. Chekov was lying in bed clearly not listening. Had his polite face plastered on but was staring at the door like he was figuring out the number of steps required to escape. I started to laugh and Bones threw me out. End of visit."
Sulu said, "Polite face?"
The captain replied, "I know you've seen it. Whenever anyone who outranks him says something he thinks is dumb, he gets this very respectful look. He puts on a pleasant little smile and kind of arranges his face to say, 'Wow, I am completely interested,' but if you look closely his eyes are saying 'You are an idiot.' You know the one I mean?"
Hikaru started to laugh too. "I know exactly the look you are talking about. Polite face is a good name for it. I am going to use that." They rode a few seconds in silence
Hikaru said thoughtfully, "He needs to get better. He's been gone so long I almost miss him talking about physics."
The captain snorted, "Yeah, almost."
Sulu shrugged and said, "Okay, so maybe not the physics, but you've got to miss the enthusiasm."
The captain nodded and said, "And there's no one to tease. I love the way he believes everything I say. It's boring up there with all you mature adults. Mostly though, I miss how he doesn't almost run the ship into asteroids."
"I miss that too." Sulu said.
The captain stretched and then said, "How totally Chekov is it to have finally gotten, what was probably a tiny, tiny bit of physical affection and then catch the flu from it?"
Sulu nodded, "It's Chekhovian both with and without the h."
"What?" asked Kirk.
"Never mind," Sulu said, but then added, "Remember what McCoy said he has?"
"Some flu he managed to pick up at the Ertruckan embassy." The captain said with a smirk.
Sulu shook his head, "He said he had 'Influenza from an Ertruckan virus, generally spread through physical contact, usually intimate or prolonged in nature.' I'm just saying, prolonged doesn't sound so tiny."
"The boy has always been sensitive. I am guessing he probably requires less exposure than the average patient. What did he tell you that morning?"
"Nothing, he showed up about two minutes before we were due for breakfast, slipped in the room, grabbed his pack and looked at me like he'd been ready for hours. Didn't say anything. The security guys tried to drill him about where he'd been, but Pav just shrugged and," Sulu laughed and said, "put on his polite face."
Captain Kirk laughed too and then asked, "So which daughter was it anyway?"
"Again, he didn't tell me, so I'm not sure, but I think probably the angsty dark one. She was closer to his age and they spent most of the dinner staring at each other so I assume it was her."
"I'd have gone for the blonde."
"I know you would have, but she was way too confident for him. Plus he's always kind of drawn to the sensitive artistic type. I don't know why. It seems to me that if you're going to almost die from the flu you should have at least tried to catch it from some easy going, pleasant person."
"I wonder if he thinks it was worth it."
"That you would have to ask him yourself, captain."
"Maybe I will." Kirk said thoughtfully. Hikaru looked at him doubtfully, hoping he wasn't seriously planning to talk to shy Pav about sex. With Captain Kirk it was difficult to know.
"I think we can agree, he needs to think before he acts." the captain said sagely, then he added, "You'll get back to me about what to do about navigation?"
Hikaru nodded. He said, "By the end of beta shift. First I'm going to get something to eat; I missed lunch keeping an eye on x'Tan. Do you want something?" The doors of the lift opened. Scents from the mess drifted in.
Kirk shook his head and said regretfully, "Scotty's checking to see how much damage throwing on the theoretical brakes at warp three did. I have to go let him tell me all about it."
"I am very sorry sir." Sulu said.
"It's part of the glories of command." Kirk replied.
Hikaru stepped out of the lift and started down the hall. Beta shift was well underway, and the mess was nearly deserted. He picked out a bowl of chili, and then took a seat at a table by himself. He opened his PADD, and began checking to see how removing x'Tan was going to mess with the schedule. It would be complicated; with Pav sick and x'Tan relieved of duty they only had three navigators. They would have to alternate eight hour shifts. Most of the decisions were made, and consequently most of the work was done, on alpha shift. So ordinarily your best people worked then, but he hated to leave a new grad like Gengen unsupervised all night.
He tried a few configurations and then gave up and closed the PADD. He reran the morning's events through his mind, wondered again if replacing x'Tan was going to help or hurt the situation. He considered asking Dr. McCoy to let Chekov work half shifts, or do some remote supervision, but decided against it. The kid was not on vacation; the doctor would clear him when he could. If provoked McCoy might extend his bed rest. He remembered the captain talking about the polite face and laughed. It was the perfect description.
He sat for a few minutes and thought about Pavel Chekov. The captain was right, near death asteroid experience aside; work was much more boring when he wasn't at the helm. Hikaru frowned, it seemed difficult to believe now, but he hadn't always liked Chekov. He hadn't actively disliked him, and they had always worked well together, but Chekov had the odd habit of talking too much when answering a question and too little when just talking. His reserve could come off as arrogance. At first, Hikaru hadn't thought Chekov was interesting. It had taken a while to understand that the ensign was shy, and longer to appreciate how entertaining he was. Hikaru leaned back in his chair and tried to remember when he had first realized that Pav would be a worthwhile friend.
Not at the academy, they had been in several of the same classes, but not in the same social circles. He remembered hearing Pav speak exactly once. He had corrected a teaching assistant, right in the middle of an advanced astrophysics class. Hikaru smiled remembering the look on the TA's face when Pav's piping little voice had informed him that the page long proof he had just presented had nothing to do with the question he had assigned the class. The TA replied that he had copied the answer directly from the text. He had asked Pav how he could think he understood the subject better than the authors of the text book. Pav had said, 'Because they are wrong.' At which point the TA had explained in the way only a Tellarite could, how inappropriate it was to challenge a teacher. The noise had brought one of the professors to the room. She had told the TA the mistake had been found earlier, to check his mail more frequently, and not to yell at the students. Most of the students had laughed, the TA had not. He sent Pav a look that had made Hikaru happy not to be the cadet.
No, he hadn't liked him until later. It was after Nero, he thought, maybe a few months into their first mission. He had been in the mess right at the height of the lunch rush. He had gotten his food and had stood talking to Kevin and Nyota while they waited for a table. Chekov had stumbled by, holding a full tray. Some friendly reflex had made Hikaru ask the navigator to join them. Chekov had looked surprised and a little suspicious, but had nodded and stopped. He had seemed to regret his decision almost immediately though, had stood stiffly behind them, picking at his fries and not speaking, staring at his tray while the lieutenants discussed an upcoming round of scheduled promotions.
The promotions had been a big deal, because of Nero there were lots of openings and people had thought their careers could be made based on the decisions. Kevin had tried to involve Chekov in the conversation by asking what he thought about them. Chekov hadn't responded. Kevin had repeated the question; the ensign had looked at him uncertainly, but still hadn't answered. Hikaru had thought Chekov was just taking a while to weigh different responses, but Kevin had apparently decided Chekov hadn't understood the question. He had moved to stand right in front of the ensign. Speaking very slowly, he had asked Chekov again if he had any thoughts about who would make lieutenant commander. Chekov had looked at Kevin for several seconds, and then said "No sir I do not." in the same slow careful tone Kevin had used. Hikaru and Nyota had laughed, but Kevin had been a little angry, uncertain if he had been insulted. But Kevin was basically good natured. He had decided Chekov just wasn't good with Standard and had continued to try to include him, smiling and over enunciating every time he spoke. The ensign had watched him skeptically, and had barely answered.
Just when the prospect of spending his lunch dragging conversation out of the silent navigator had been beginning to make Hikaru regret including him, Nyota had spotted a group of security officers vacating their table. She had sprinted over to grab it. Hikaru and Kevin had followed, dodging through the security team as they rushed to the seats. Chekov had listlessly brought up the rear. One of the officers had been telling a story, gesturing wildly. His arm had caught Chekov's tray and flipped it into the ensign's chest. His drink had splattered all over him, and then had slid to the ground. The man had kept walking, calling back a vague apology. Chekov had set his tray on the table and wandered off without saying a word.
A robot had arrived quickly to sop up the mess. The spill had been large enough that it overwhelmed the suction openings and the machine had begun to make some odd noises. The lunch room maintenance man had come over to check it. He had glared at Hikaru and his friends as if they had purposely done something wrong, muttering that he wasn't there to clean up after them.
Kevin's attempt to explain they weren't responsible for the accident had only seemed to intensify the man's anger. Hikaru hadn't been surprised; in his experience, that guy had always been mad. He had been kind of famous on the ship for to treating everyone, senior officer to recent enlisted, with contempt. Most of the crew had dreaded interacting with him. The man had stood by their table and continued to complain, carrying on like the crew came to the mess simply to create work for him. Hikaru hadn't even bothered to try talking; he had ignored him and eaten his lunch.
Chekov had reappeared, blotting at his uniform with an enormous pile of napkins. The maintenance man had started in on him for wasting supplies. Chekov had shrugged and stood watching the robot sucking at the puddle. After several seconds, and without any kind of lead in, Chekov had looked up and asked the maintenance man if he had gone to some concert in San Francisco. The man had looked surprised, but had said that he had been there. The two of them had then launched into a discussion about some band Hikaru had never heard of. They had seemed to enjoy it. Hikaru thought the navigator had never been so animated off the bridge, and although he had still sounded angry, it was easily the closest to civil he had ever heard the custodian be.
They had talked music until the lunch break ended. Having forgotten to eat, Chekov had given his burger to the maintenance man and taken his fries with him as they walked to the turbolift. They had passed a group of engineers going the opposite way, toward the mess; a young woman had turned and asked Chekov if he was going to some party Thursday. Chekov had responded with his standard noncommittal shrug. The young woman had smiled at him and said, "I got that vid."
Chekov had hopped into the crowded lift. Just as the doors closed he had replied, "Now you make me want to go."
In the turbolift Nyota had looked at Chekov critically. Finally she had cleared her throat and said kindly, "You know you're an officer right?" Chekov had looked at her uncertainly. She had added, "There are reasons for all the rules about fraternization. You have to be really careful."
Chekov had said quietly, "Thank you ma'am, I'll remember." Nyota had looked at him expectantly, but he hadn't said anything more, just looked ahead and smiled politely. As more crew members had squeezed in she had gotten distracted and eventually involved in a new round of speculation about the promotions.
It had been lunch time. The lift had been crowded with people from several divisions. The upcoming promotions had been on everyone's mind. People had grouped tightly around the door talking about them, and the noise had grown much louder. As people left the lift and others had entered, they had easily joined the discussion.
Chekov had slipped to the back of the lift and finished his fries. Hikaru had watched him, and thought how strange it was that their navigator knew the musical tastes of the lunch room maintenance bully. Eventually it had occurred to him that he had no reason to be surprised. Despite having sat next to the kid eight hours a day for months, he really knew almost nothing about him.
Chekov had always been self-confident in his work, and he had not had trouble volunteering his ideas. But he had never chatted. He had seemed indifferent to conversations around him, with one exception. When Captain Kirk told a story Chekov froze, had listened so intently that sometimes his mouth hung open. People had remarked upon it. Kirk had loved it of course. Hikaru had once heard him direct the doctor to watch for it. Hikaru had thought that such obvious admiration had to be faked, but gradually he had become less sure. In the months since Kirk had saved the universe, Hikaru had seen many people fawning for his attention. The ensign had been almost the opposite, he had often seemed uncomfortable when Kirk asked him anything not work related.
While Hikaru had been thinking, Chekov had deliberately turned to his left. Hikaru had wondered why, but then realized the mirrored panels embedded in the walls allowed Chekov to see the entire lift without having to look directly at anyone. He had watched the happy group at the front for a while, grimaced and had then stared skeptically at his own reflection for a few seconds. He frowned and then began to make faces at himself. Hikaru had continued to watch; amused because it was such a teenager thing to do and because he had never before seen the serious little ensign play.
Neither of them had paid any attention to the ship's chief medical officer, also standing in the back of the lift. When the turbolift doors had opened in sick bay the doctor had turned to the young man and said, "You should make more of an effort to join in." and then had pushed his way to the front, through the crowd and out of the lift. Right before exiting he had turned back and added, "And French fries aren't food."
Chekov had smiled politely while McCoy spoke, but as soon as the older man left he had dropped the smile and stared petulantly after the doctor. Hikaru had found the transformation entertaining and so had continued to watch. If he hadn't been looking so closely he wouldn't have noticed when Chekov turned to the mirror, scowled crankily and said in a lecturing tone, but very, very quietly, "You need to learn to be interested in theoretical promotions or I have no choice but to hypo you into friendships." Despite his accent, the imitation of the ship's doctor had been excellent. It had been so unexpected that Hikaru had started to laugh, loudly.
No one else in the lift had heard the comment, not even sensitive Nyota; but everyone had turned to see what was so funny. Chekov had looked at the floor and blushed fiercely. Hikaru hadn't been able to control his laughter, but had only shaken his head when Kevin had asked what the joke was.
When they finally arrived at the bridge, everyone had gone straight to their stations. The captain had asked if anything interesting had happened at lunch. Hikaru had said, "Nothing at all, sir." Chekov, silent and still red, had given Hikaru a very grateful look.
The remainder of the shift had passed slowly. They had worked together as perfectly as they always did, but Chekov had been tense and silent. At one point Doctor McCoy had come onto the bridge to visit with the captain. Chekov had leaned over his console and rested his head in his hands, rubbing his forehead like it hurt.
When the doctor had gone on his way, Hikaru had said quietly, "You can relax. He's gone." Chekov hadn't acknowledged him, except to sit up straighter in his chair. He hadn't said anything else for hours. He had answered Mr. Spock with one or two syllables. Even several attempts by the captain had failed to provoke one of his long, complicated, and so excited explanations. It had been a boring shift.
Towards the end of the day, the captain had left the bridge, off on one of his frequent visits to engineering. Mr. Spock had gone over to consult with Officer 0718. Hikaru had waited until were deep in conversation before turning to the navigator and saying quietly, "Stop worrying, it's alright."
Chekov had sighed and said, "I am so stupid."
Hikaru had laughed and said, "That's not what I hear." Chekov had glanced at Hikaru, giving him a brief polite smile, but his eyes had seemed uninvolved, maybe even sad. It had suddenly occurred to Hikaru that his comment might have sounded condescending. He had felt badly and so had tried again, saying, "It was a good imitation. I thought you were funny."
Chekov had frowned. "No, not funny, I was," he had searched for the right word, "sulking? I shouldn't act like that."
"It wasn't that big of a deal," Hikaru had assured him. "Do you think you're the only one who makes fun of Doctor McCoy? Everyone does. He's an easy target. You don't have to be perfect."
Chekov had turned to look at him then, and had said very seriously, "Yes I do." Hikaru had smiled, thinking he had been teasing. Chekov had shook his head, and then gestured to the rest of the bridge. "If any of you make a mistake, it is because beings sometimes make mistakes. You will do better next time. If I make a mistake it is because I am too young for this. I have to be careful all the time, or I won't get to stay." He had looked down at his board, reached out to make an adjustment, and hadn't said any more.
Hikaru had thought for a few seconds, wondering how to respond. Finally he had said, "I guess I never thought of it that way."
"I think of that all the time." Chekov hadn't looked up from the board and had spoken softly, almost to himself.
Hikaru had sat quietly, thinking. Eventually he had looked over at the navigator and said, "You know what is really funny?" Chekov had looked up and shook his head uncertainly. Hikaru had continued, "Dr. McCoy stood at the front of the turbolift and yelled, 'And French fries aren't food.' You and I were the only ones there that had any idea what he was talking about. Everyone else thought he had just suddenly started screaming health advice."
Chekov had smiled shyly. "And they said nothing, because everyone is used to him saying strange things at any time." He had added with some admiration, "He is like no one else."
"He's absolutely the king of non sequitur." Hikaru had said.
"Non sequitur." Chekov had repeated softly.
"Oh, that means, uh," Hikaru had started, trying to think of a way to explain it simply.
"It does not follow?" asked Chekov.
Hikaru had nodded, impressed.
Chekov had said, "I know that phrase, it is almost the same in French, I just never heard it pronounced in Standard before. Actually it is almost the same in Russian too, but the pronunciation is so different you would not know what I was saying." He had paused, and then added, "I do not always allow the correct pronunciation to worry me much."
Hikaru had laughed. "But you've only spoken Standard, what, three years? Your vocabulary is pretty amazing."
"Thank you, I think." Chekov had said.
Hikaru had waited a few minutes before turning to Chekov and saying, "Okay, I have one more question." Chekov had nodded, but his eyes had again looked wary. Hikaru had said, "Don't worry; I just want to know how you knew the maintenance man in the mess liked that band?"
"Mr. Jensen?" Chekov had asked, clearly surprised. Sulu had simply nodded; he hadn't wanted to admit not knowing the man's name. "He has their art tattooed on his arm. When I saw the stickers on the robot I felt certain he had added them."
"I didn't notice any stickers. And how do you know he has a tattoo?" Hikaru had asked.
Chekov had answered, "He has several. One morning when I came for breakfast a replicator's temperature control had failed overnight. I helped him to fix it. There was melted food base everywhere; after we cleaned it he needed to change his uniform. They keep extras in their lockers behind the work station. He was uncomfortable, and he pulled his shirt off before he was behind the wall. I saw the tattoos then."
Chekov had paused and then said quickly, "I'm sorry, I did not think. We shouldn't have discussed in front of you things that you do not enjoy. I'm sorry. It was kind of you to ask me to join you, and then I was rude. I just wanted to distract him. He gets angry easily. He has a difficult job."
Sulu shook his head, "Don't worry about it, you weren't rude. And I was happy to have you join us. We will have to do it again. Maybe next time there will be less drama."
They had attended to their work quietly for a few minutes. Then Chekov had leaned over and whispered, "Mr. Sulu?" Hikaru had looked over, and the younger man had said quietly, sounding both excited and uncertain. "Do you want to know who else has a band tattoo?"
"Who?" Hikaru had asked.
"Lieutenant Commander Bowden."
"She does not." Hikaru had been delighted. Bowden was the relief science officer and a very dignified older woman. He had tried to picture her in a tattoo parlor. He hadn't been able to do it.
"Yes, she does."
"Where is it?"
Chekov had whispered, "On her thigh, on her left leg; I think that that may be why she wears her skirts longer, but you can still see it, especially when she is seated. It is big. Have you heard of Marteau? They are an old band; they were part of the chaos scene. My uncles loved their music. One has the same tattoo, on his chest though. That is how I recognized it."
"This I have got to see." Hikaru had said.
"It is a little hard the first time, but after you do, it is hard not to see it. Now when she talks to me I have to work very hard to not look at it." Hikaru had started to laugh, imagining the ensign avoiding Miss Bowden's legs. Chekov had laughed too, but guiltily.
Hikaru had not been able to stop thinking about the lieutenant commander's tattoo. He had checked to be sure they weren't being overheard and then said, "I can't wait. I am going to have to see it today. She is scheduled next shift; I am staying and going to try to get a look at it. Why don't you hang out here with me in case I need backup? I may laugh so hard I need rescued."
Chekov had nodded seriously, thought a few minutes and then whispered the details of a plan for Sulu to see the lieutenant commander's leg. Hikaru had been impressed by how quickly he thought.
They waited until nearly the end of their shift. Chekov had created a problem, and asked Mr. Sulu if he could please help him with it. When their relief arrived they had taken their work to the science center and Chekov had asked Miss Bowden to help him too. In the meantime Captain Kirk had returned. He had leaned back in his chair and hadn't seemed to be paying much attention. Hikaru had waited until Bowden and Chekov were deep in conversation, and then had dropped a stylus. He had bent down to grab it, had taken a good look at Miss Bowden's ink, and had come up grinning.
Hikaru had walked back over to his own station, trying not to laugh. He had gathered his things and had said goodbye to the beta shift officers. He had been aware of Captain Kirk watching him closely, but had tried to ignore it. As he walked toward the elevator he had paused and looked back at Chekov, who was still listening respectfully as Miss Bowden talked. Hikaru had been wondering how to free the ensign when the captain had cleared his throat.
"Mr. Chekov, Miss Bowden has her own work to do. You can't take all her time with your questions. Why don't you come with me and we'll get a coffee. I will try to help you out." Captain Kirk had sounded solicitous, like a kindly older brother.
Chekov had frozen like a bunny caught in the lettuce. Miss Bowden had said that he was no problem, and that she enjoyed helping him. But the captain had insisted, had walked over, wrapped an arm around Chekov's shoulders and had guided him and his PADD into the lift. Sulu had followed, feeling very foolish.
"Mess," The captain had said. As the turbolift began to move he had turned to Sulu and said, "Classic moves gentlemen. What were you after?"
Chekov had looked sick and scared, but Hikaru Sulu and Jim Kirk had been in the same class at the academy. Judging from his reputation at school, Sulu had decided the captain would probably be most mad that he hadn't been included. So he had answered, "I wanted to see Bowden's tattoo."
Kirk had howled. Chekov had flinched and tried unsuccessfully to slip out from under his commanding officer's arm.
Kirk had said, "Tattoo! You've got to be kidding. Bowden? Where?"
Hikaru had answered, "Left thigh. It's the singer's face from the band Marteau. He's got horns and his tongue out. It's huge."
"Oh my God, Miss Bowden was a chaos rocker. Can you imagine? Do you think she wore her hair so sensible in those days? I gotta see a picture." Kirk had been laughing so hard he had been forced to lean against the bulkhead for support. Eventually he had calmed down enough to say, "How did you hear about it?"
Hikaru had nodded at the ensign, who was staring miserably at the floor. "Chekov." he said.
"Am I in trouble?" Chekov had asked tensely, not looking up.
"Trouble? Well let's analyze this." The captain had replied. "You saw something, let's call it an anomaly, and you reported it to a superior officer. That's what you're supposed to do. So no, you're not in trouble. Your only mistake was to go to Mr. Sulu and not me. All really odd or potentially embarrassing quirks of any of the senior officers should be reported to the captain first. That's not actually a regulation by the way; I just enjoy hearing about them more than other people do."
The lift doors had opened. The captain had continued, "Here's the mess. Let's get coffee." He had walked up to a replicator, pushed a few buttons and then added, "and maybe a donut." He had pushed a few more buttons and added again, "each." He grabbed a plate and had headed to a table, still talking. Hikaru had gotten himself some tea, and had looked over at Chekov, still at the replicator and gazing wistfully at the door.
"No escaping." Hikaru had said firmly, "We did something silly, not illegal. But don't worry, he likes silly, he's not going to be mad at you. Anyway, we're in this together, so come on." Chekov had sighed, taken some apple juice, and followed Sulu.
The captain had handed out donuts and said, "Okay ensign, I am going to need a thorough report. Let's start with, how did you notice the tattoo in the first place?"
Chekov had said nervously. "I shouldn't have told about Miss Bowden. But, it is difficult to know something funny and not share it."
Kirk said, "Well, never mind that now. How did you see it? In the gym?"
Chekov shook his head. "Whenever she stands to give report to Mr. Weldon she always pulls her skirt down. Not for everyone, just him. I wondered why, so I watched closely, and one day I saw it. Just the edge, but I knew what it was. I didn't see the whole thing for months, until she was watching a vid in the recreational lounge and wasn't thinking about it. "
"So you've known about this for a while, and never said anything?" Kirk had asked. Chekov had nodded. "You're sure she only does it for Weldon?" Chekov had nodded again. "Huh, I wonder why Weldon."
"It is not because she is interested in him romantically. She has a partner. I think perhaps she is concerned he won't approve because of his religious beliefs." Chekov had answered.
"How do you know that?" Kirk had asked skeptically.
"I don't actually know it, but I assume it. He bows his head before he eats, even when he is with friends. People do that when they pray, and I have seen him standing before the view screens in the rec rooms reading very early in the morning. I think that he is praying, but I could be wrong." Chekov had answered.
"And how do you know Bowden has a partner?" the captain had asked.
"I don't think I should," Chekov had begun.
The captain had shaken his head and smirked. "Too late for that now, come on, talk."
Chekov had sighed and had looked uncomfortable, but he had said, "She is often in the labs while I am doing work for Mr. Spock. She gets many messages, but always at 2100 she gets one. She steps away to read it, just that one, no others, and when she does, her eyes get soft and she smiles. I thought maybe they came from someone she loves. Once I asked her who wrote and she blushed but didn't answer, so I knew I was right."
"Who do you think it is?" Hikaru had asked, despite himself.
"I don't know, but 2100 is an odd time for most shifts. However it is when the main mess closes."
"So you think it is someone from the kitchen, which is almost entirely manned by enlisted, which means she probably outranks them, which is why she is so secretive." The captain had finished. Chekov had nodded.
The captain had leaned back in his chair and grinned. "Wow," he had said, "it makes perfect sense. Were you aware of any of this?" Kirk had asked Sulu, who shook his head. "You are really observant Chekov." The ensign had shrugged, and looked longingly at the door.
Kirk had said, "You know, this is great. I get reports all day long, and they're almost never anything I want to hear about. Mr. Spock is smart, but Bowden could have been naked and giving tattoos to the entire kitchen staff and he wouldn't notice unless there was a regulation specifically forbidding it. If we miss following any ridiculous nit picking regulation ever written, that he could report on for hours. But not once has he ever mentioned any thing like this. You should really use this power of yours more often ensign. In fact, I have a great idea. Keep your eyes open and try to find something really interesting about Mr. Spock. Bring it to me first. I could probably make it worth your while."
Chekov had given the captain an alarmed look and then begun to shake his head vigorously. Kirk had watched him with narrowed eyes before saying, "You've got something on Spock. Tell."
"I don't." Chekov had said and quickly stuffed his donut into his mouth so that he couldn't talk. Sulu had known just by looking at Kirk that he wasn't going to forget. He had been trying to think of a distraction when Dr. McCoy had suddenly appeared beside their table.
The doctor had looked at their plates and frowned. He had sputtered, "First French fries then this."
The captain had forgotten all about Spock. He had turned to the doctor angrily and said, "Bones! Stop appearing and saying crazy things. It's annoying."
"It's annoying! I will tell you what's annoying. This crew can't feed itself. That's annoying. Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a nanny with a tiny spoon. I should be able to come to the dining room without having to rescue people from themselves."
"You could. You just don't." The captain had countered.
Chekov had taken the opportunity to escape, murmuring an excuse and bolting for the turbolift. Hikaru had followed. He had barely caught the lift, had slipped in just as the doors closed. Chekov had been in the far corner, head down, arms crossed. Hikaru had thought for an uncomfortable second the boy was crying but then realized the ensign was laughing.
Chekov had looked up at him and said, "It is so perfect. You could say it for anything. Surrounded by Klingons? First French fries, then this."
"Fire on board?" Hikaru had asked. "First French fries, then this."
They had spent the rest of the ride offering each other examples of catastrophes French fries led to. Thinking back, Sulu thought probably that had been the very start of their friendship.
It had been a couple of years, and they still did it sometimes. It was kind of a private good luck talisman. They didn't use it for horrible things, not when people died, but for uncomfortable things when they didn't know what else to say. He had said it to Chekov after his first serious girlfriend had dumped him and been rewarded with a real smile. Pav had offered it to him when they were part of a landing party that had all gotten some extraterrestrial version of poison ivy no one knew existed, and Hikaru had learned that he had absolutely no tolerance for hives. He remembered the day Pavel had gasped it out from a stretcher, choking on his own blood as a medic tried to hold him still for transport, and Hikaru, hearing it, had known everything would be alright. They had both said it in front of both the captain and the doctor, neither of whom remembered where it came from nor found it amusing like they did.
He was still sitting quietly when Nyota asked him. "What are you doing?"
"Thinking," he answered. "I've been sitting here thinking that I am pretty lucky sometimes. What are you doing?"
"I'm going up to sick bay to visit Pavel. Do you want to come too?"
"I would like that," he said, standing up. "Do you think it would be appropriate to ask him to take a look at the navigators' schedule? Kirk just banned x'Tan from the bridge."
"He will be happy to hear that. In fact he'll probably be so happy we won't even need to bring him a present, but let's do it anyway. I have been thinking about what he would like, and I decided it doesn't matter how sick he is, our Pasha would have to be dead to not be chafing under Dr. McCoy's idea of appropriate food, so I came down here to get him a milk shake. It can be from both of us. And he'll be mad if you don't show him the schedule so bring it too." Nyota said.
Hikaru said, "Can you wait just a second? I want to get him something else."
"Sure," said Nyota. "There's no rush. What did you have in mind?"
"French fries." Hikaru said. "Always the French fries first."
