Welcome once again to another piece of my domain.

Break Apart Her Heart

It took forever for me to actualy work up the courage to do it. Once I had there just was no turning back though I really wanted to. Why did things like this have to be so hard?

I was in my second year in the middle school department of Ouran Academy. My family owned large extensions of paiting museums and things of that sort, but that isn't really relevant to the story. What is relevant, however, is the two boys sitting in the corner of the classroom.

Their names were Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. They were quiet and secluded and never really tried talking to anyone but eachother. I never really could tell them apart though, inwardly, I tried with all my might. I'd say hello every morning, nodding my head towards each in their respective names, but they would both just dismiss me and prove my guesses to be wrong. After, I would feel so disheartened I would not pay attention for the duration of the whole class. But, I was still determined.

The one playing the game by the window; that was Hikaru, right? The one who watched- that was Kaoru, correct? Please tell me I'm right. I never really did find out if that assumption was correct.

But, I did know one thing. Hikaru was a bit more apathetic. At that point, not by much, but still. Kaoru was a bit less apathetic. Again, at that point, not by much. But, still.

If you payed attention, however, it was clear I was not the only one that had trouble telling these two apart. But, despite that fact, every girl in the class seemed interested in the two whom they knew nothing about. It didn't even seem like they would try. I would come to terms later and find out I was just jealous. But in middle school I wouldn't ever admit this. Those giddy girls with crushes were what I despised so much. But I became one myself.

I am a fool.

I tired so hard to tell these two apart. Though every time I got it wrong, the one would kind of just shake his head and walk off. That was Hikaru, correct? Yeah, I must be right. The other would smile slightly. Not enough to really see, but he did. That was Kaoru. Come on now, I know I am correct.

To this, I would just blush. Each day I tried again and again. I still wanted with all my might to have the satisfaction of being the only girl in class who knew the difference between them, but now there was more. I wanted to see that small half smile. If even just for a second.

Day after day, I would never get it right, which I believed to be greatly against all probabilities. However I didn't care. So long as I just saw that small flicker of a smile.

I never really knew anything of what went on outside of classes, but if I had known how many girls had tried and failed to win those two hearts, then maybe I wouldn't have even thought of doing what I planned to do. Or maybe I still would have. That was how thick headed I was.

And besides. Probability wouldn't fail me that much, would it?

The night before my world decided it hated me, I spent hours in my room writing the perfect letter. Paper littered my floor. I didn't want to seem desperate, and I didn't want to seem apathetic. I didn't want to seem clingy, and I didn't want to seem detatched. After hours and hours, up until the morning, I finally finished. I placed the note neatly in my bag and headed to school a few hours later, totally oblivious to the cruel trick that would be played later in the day.

Like I'd seen many do, I placed the note inside the desk the next morning before school began. I believed it to be his, but I really didn't know for sure. I hadn't really checked either. But by that moment, everyone filed into the room and I had no time to rethink my actions. As soon as I sat down in my desk, I wanted so badly to pick that letter up. I wanted to just tear it to shreds and make it like it had never existed. But, it was too late.

I watched from the corner of my eye as one of them picked it up. Wait, was that Hikaru or Kaoru? I mentally hit myself for not knowing. He showed it to his brother. So was that one Hikaru? No, Kaoru? Mentally, I beat myself again. The whole day in class was excruciating; not knowing, that is. I waited until break. But I written in my note to meet after school, so I had to wait until then.

It was beating me up. I just wanted this all to go away. Perhaps if I made a time machine and went back to stop myself from making the biggest mistake of my life. But, no. That wasn't physically possible. Or, at least, I believed it could never be done.

Class began again soon and it keep haunting me. It was awkward being in the same class. I began to sweat and excused myself to the bathroom where I sat on the floor and let my thoughts rush around.

When school ended, I was just plain nervous. I walked to the hallway outside that connected all the buildings. I was oblivious to how much had gone on there concerning the same matter I had come to settle.

He was there already. I wlaked up to him tentatively. That one was...Kaoru, right. It must be. I questioned him.

"Y-you're...Kaoru, correct?"

It occurred to me then how much I was shaking. His lips curved up in a smile and I, for some reason, knew instantly, I had failed.

"No, I'm Hikaru," he said. "You must've put the letter in my desk by mistake."

I blushed. It was a stupid mistake. Why hadn't I listened to my gut feeling. Always listen. I'm an idiot!

"O-oh. Sorry," I said. Man, that was stupid.

"It's okay," he said. "But, you know, Kaoru isn't really into this kind of thing."

I must have looked confused because he held the letter up.

"Oh," I replied. I couldn't help sounding a bit disappointed.

"But you know," he began again. "I liked your letter."

I couldn't believe it. So, they'd both read the letter? That seemed a bit off to me.

"Maybe you'd want t give me a try?"

I guess I might have looked a bit shocked, because he smirked. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. A quote I had heard once basically said not to chase after someone who didn't love you. That echoed in my mind right now.

And I didn't know what to do about it.

I didn't want to be rude, but...okay, I didn't know what to think, either.

Basically, I like them both, but I guess not in the same extent. And I didn't realy feel like saying anything to hurt one or the other.

"I-I guess that's great," I said, "but-"

I never got to finish. Everything went down about that moment.

"Hey, Hikaru! She said you'd be fine too."

I blink once, then twice.

"Wait, I was right! Y-you are Kaoru," I yelled.

At this moment, I was so confused. I didn't know what was going on.

"You know," Hikaru said.

Yeah, this was definately him.

"You're mean," Kaoru finished.

"You can't just say either of us will work," they spoke together in perfect harmony.

I was too stunned to say anything. Too fast an anger began to burn inside of me. I watched as Hikaru, who was now holding my letter, moved his hands as if to tear it though I had worked so hard on it. I just couldn't hold it in.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "You're mean," I said. They both looked up at me.

"Everything you both said. It sounds so rehearsed! You do this every time, don't you! You crush peoples hearts. Each time one girl comes along, you mess with their heads and play them a fool. And then, when everything seems to be okay, you both come in and crush them."

They stared at me, dumbfounded. But, I wasn't finished.

"What is this, some game! Some sick, childish prank you play for pleasure. People don't work that way. You can't just break someone and expect it all to be fine! So, tell me this. I tried to get along. I tried to fgure out who was who. And I tried to be friends. You, in front of my face, just throw it all away and make me feel like nothing. Now then, you tell me who the mean group is."

They didn't answer. I grabbed my letter and ripped it in half, dropping it in front of them.

"I'm just going to forget this happened," I whispered before I turned and walked off, just leaving them standing there.

I'm embarrassed to say that I cried.

Those girls with their letters were what I didn't like.

My jealousy was the reason why.

But I didn't know what happened behind the scenes.

Every one of those girls ended up heartbroken.

I ended up one of them with that stupid letter.

I was a fool.