He can't believe it.
He's got a kid.
Two of them.

Well, his drumming career was out of the window now.
"She's so..." Rodrick mumbled quietly as he peered at the baby nestling in his girlfriend's arms. He wasn't a sop. He wouldn't say it. He can't say that. It's too soppy.
"She's so... cute." His eyes widened a little as he said it; he wasn't exactly used to words like 'cute' coming out of his mouth.
Mia smiled as she looked down at the baby who had yet to be named. "Yes, she is, isn't she?"
"Just like her mommy." Rodrick smiled bashfully.
"Where's daddy's boy then?"
He snorted at how strange that sounded as he looked around for his daughters'
"He's right here."
Mia nodded to her right side where the other baby lay in a cot attached to the hospital bed.
Rodrick peered over into the cot and gingerly picked the baby up. He sank into a chair holding the baby gently.
"What were we calling this little guy?"
"I don't really remember." Mia admitted with a laugh. "So many people told us so many names. I think it was Oscar. Oscar and Alana"
"Oscar Heffley.. Alana Heffley.. Yeah, that sounds good."
Rodrick smiled, playing with the tuft of hair on Oscar's head.
And to be honest, looking after Oscar and Alana was pretty fun.
Once they got a little older and didn't need feeding at absurd times in the night, and had gotten up on their tiny feet and taken their first few steps, it was time for Rodrick to teach them how to rock.

And that's why, a few years later, ten year old Oscar was running up the stairs to get first dibs on the eyeliner.
Oscar had taken a huge interest in his father's band, whch was still going on much to the whole family's shock.
Oscar liked to watch his dad be an idiot on the drums and join in, and today was a day he decided to join in.
"OSCAR HEFFLEY, YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE EYELINER!" Rodrick shrieked as he dived up the stairs after his son.
"RODRICK HEFFLEY, YES I AM!" Oscar smiled back.
"Hey! Don't cheek your dad."
Oscar didn't reply. He was steps away from his dad. He could get the eyeliner first.
Of course, Rodrick wasn't going to let Oscar win without a fight. He pounced and grabbed Oscar away from Mia's makeup box inside the bathroom, chuckling evilly.
"Hey! Let me go!" Oscar moaned, kicking and lashing out as best he could at his 'attacker'.
"No way!" Rodrick dived forward and grabbed the magic, long awaited little pencil from Mia's makeup box and held it above his son's head.
"It's mine!" Oscar protested and managed to grab onto one end of the pencil with a hand.
Rodrick let Oscar go and in minutes father and son were having an all out tug of war.
"It's mine!"
"It's your mom's."
"That doesn't mean it's yours."
"Sure it does, anything she has, I have."
Oscar chose not to reply to that and carried on trying to pull the prized possession from his dad.
The pulling and tugging went on for a few minutes before - oh the irony - the pencil flew out of their grip and straight out of the window
"Huh, it commited suicide." Oscar said dryly before making a run for it.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Rodrick called and ran after his son.
"Alana has eyeliner!" He giggled victoriously.
"oh.. HEY!" Rodrick ran up to his daughter's bedroom door and the two boys began hammering on it.

"YOU ARE NOT BORROWING MY EYELINER!" Alana yelled with a heavy sigh to her father and brother almost begging her from on the other side of her bedroom door.

Author note: Yes, yes.. I know that Rodrick WOULD NEVER HAVE KIDS. But if he did..

1) I'd be the mummy xD
2) It'd be so weird x3