-Chapter One-
My life needs a drastic change. I've spent all of my life thinking big but never ever going anywhere with it. I have been in love with the same guy for the past year and a half, and I have done nothing about it. It's not like one of those deals where I am the complete, total nerd in love with the most popular guy in school, who always has one girlfriend or another. He is just a sweet guy, someone that I do consider my friend. I was friends with him before I fell in love with him. He's not in a relationship, and never has been. Despite the fact that I have always considered myself not afraid of anything, I have never had the courage to find out if he felt the same about me.
This is what led me to where I am now, laying beside Brian…I think that's his name…waking myself up enough to sneak away unnoticed. I slide under the covers to the edge of the bed and grab my shirt from the floor pulling it over my head and climbing out to find my pants.
Now, fully dressed, I sneak quietly out the door completely unnoticed as he sleeps off the alcohol from last night. I emerge on the deck and welcome the cool salty sea breeze that blows my hair astray and fills my lungs.
Since I came to the decision to make a change in my life, I did. I am now in my first year of college and I get out and party hard, usually ending the night by hooking up with whatever guy showed the most interest in me.
I have a tally. This tally is of all the guys I have slept with, not counting repeat occasions. This tally has become quite large. Now I am missing my period and I don't know who the father would be. I don't even know where to start since I don't remember half the guys that I have slept with, much less when I slept with them.
I came to college to prove a point, show the world that I am not afraid of anything, show the world that I am no wimp and can get any guy I want when I want. Now I regret it. Originally it was my goal to never be the partying type; I never had any desire to consume alcohol. Now I think I am pregnant, well on my way to becoming an alcoholic, and I'm pretty sure I flunked out of my first semester of college. Instead of proving a point, I ruined the rest of my life. And you ask what the worst part is? I never did found out if that guy was in love with, am in love with, felt anywhere near the same way. Fat chance now!
