Ok, Arfea and Alcy are back, sorry our last fic was discontinued, but we aren't doing another auction. ducks as many items are thrown at both We are just going to be random and hope it works! Ok, here we go.

Arfea: Wait, here, let's explain a little, Alcy and I alternate writing a few sentences, or paragraphs if we get carried away. (Mumbles about Alcy and pingpong tables...) Anyway, disclaimer, do your thing.

Disclaimer; Arfea and Alcy do not own Lord of the Rings or anything related to that. It belongs to JRR Tolkien and the Publishing Company.

Alcy: Actually, It belongs to Christopher Tolkien.

Disclaimer: oops, sorry, my mistake. Anyway, on to, the well, fic.

Alcy: Oh, yeah, we can't think up a good title, so please leave any suggestions you have in reviews!

Arfea: stop interrupting the Disclaimer guy. Start the story!

Chapter 1 --Teh Beginning

One fine summer day, Samwise Gamgee was gardening down at Bag End, wishing that he could finish quickly and go back to his fair Rosie as soon as possible. He hummed an elvish song he had heard while in Gondor to himself.

"O no, I've lost the melody, oh I wish Mr. Legolas were here, he could sing me the words. And I could stare at his hot body while pretending to pay attention..." Suddenly Frodo popped his head out of the window,

"I heard that Sam, and I'm telling on you the next time we see Legolas!" "Don't worry Mister Frodo, I'll save some loving for you too..." Frodo cast his eyes downward, "I'm sorry Sam, but I'm in a relationship right now. Merry would be very upset if I cheated on him."

"That's ok, Mister Frodo. Why didn't I realize that I was bisexual until AFTER I married Rosie? No wonder I'm more in love with guys than her. Oh well."

"Not much to do about that," Said a familiar voice. Sam turned quickly around to see Legolas standing next to him. "Oh dear." Sam replied. Frodo started cracking up at what he imagined what was about to happen.

"You realize, however, that Pointy ears are not for me. They're giving me nightmares." Legolas said as he bent over Sam's shoulder to check his progress. "But Legolas... you have pointy ears." said Frodo.

"I know, but i can not see them, therefore, they do not scare me." Legolas turned around, bent over and leaned into the window to converse with Frodo, missing Sam's rapt attention at his... ahem... position. Frodo noticed Sam's noticing.

"Enjoying the view, Sam?" Sam blushed. "I know I am." Said a deep voice. Frodo looked up to see Aragorn also admiring Legolas's tight little arse. Legolas turned around.

"Oh, yes, the shire's scenery is exquisite, and- is that Merry and Pippin romping in the meadow nude?"

"WWWHHHHAT!" Frodo shouted angrily, turning to face the meadows off in the distance he shouted, "MERRY YOU CHEATER! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!" He began sobbing to himself quietly as both Legolas and Aragorn wore similar expressions of confusion. Sam silently cheered. Far off in the distance, Merry and Pippin romped in the grass.

"Did you hear something?" Merry asked.

"No. Why?"

"I dunno, thought I heard my name. Must be the wind or an angry ex girlfriend."

"Huh. I didn't know Frodo was a girl. Although he does look like one."

Legolas bent down and patted Frodo on the back through the window. "Its alright Frodo, I'm sure Merry and Pippin aren't doing what you think." Aragorn and Sam had both returned to their previous activity.

"You're able to tell, you've got super vision or something, right?" Frodo asked through his tears. "And hearing." Sam added. Aragorn merely nodded, his eyes never leaving Legolas's behind. Legolas turned around and looked at Aragorn, who now had an even better view of something else now. "Aragorn? What are you looking at?" "um... There's a bug on you?" Aragorn quickly improvised. Sam, catching on quickly said, "I'll get it!" And brushed where Aragorn's eyeline was. Legolas looked down at Sam, who had the best view of all. "I could have done that myself, thanks Sam." "Just trying to help. Good Samwise, always helping the nice elves" he said in a Gollum-mocking manner. Aragorn shot Sam an angry look. "Damn hobbits and their limited height." Aragorn muttered under his breath.

"Ummm... yeah. Anyways, my keen sense of sight sees that Merry and Pippin have been making out now for the past five minutes. Sorry Frodo." He leaned back over to comfort the now sobbing Frodo. Aragorn and Sam both stared. Frodo looked up at Legolas and seemed angry now.

"Well, two can play at that game!" He quickly pulled Legolas's head down by his warrior braids and proceded to french the sexy elf. Both Aragorn and Sam stood with their mouths agape. After a few minutes of watching the two of them french, they realized that Legolas was not going to be disgusted anytime soon. Sam looked at Aragorn, and Aragorn looked at Sam. They watched the two continue to make out while Merry, far in the distance suddenly pulled away from Pippin.

"I'm sorry Pip, I just can't. I made a commitment to Frodo, and I intend to keep it." With that he stood up and began walking toward Bag End, unaware of the couple.

To Be Continued...

Arfea: If we get at least...5 reviews...please review, we need to know people are reading and liking...criticism is also welcome, as long as its constructive, no "Your story sucks cause its perverted and gay" b/c thats flaming and flaming is dumb b/c why would you take the time to read the story and then flame when you could just note that it isn't a story you want to read and then read something better...

Alcy: 'Fea, you're rambling...

Arfea: Sorry...and don't call me 'Fea!