Daryl was scratching his head looking at a list given to him when he left the prison. They put a list up in the common room or people to add what they needed. Desperately apparently.
Rick, Daryl and Glenn were on a run, they promised to try get the stuff off the list. They were standing in a well stocked store starring at the women's isle. All men had back packs on in case they found something that they wanted to keep for them or their other half without taking it back for the whole group at the prison pawing over it, last time they came back their women missed out because they were doing stuff and the other women grabbed all the best stuff.
Weapons still strapped to their sides, Daryls crossbow resting near his feet.
'What the fuck is this?' Pointing to something on the list, Glenn and Rick looked at the list. Glenn blushed red.
'I think its lube!' Whispered Glenn.
'Why the fuck you whispering for? No one is here!' Rick whispered back.
'Are we whispering because we are talking about lube?' Whispered Daryl snickering.
'What else is on the list? Is this your list Daryl?' Glenn asked
'Fuck off! I an't need no lube!' Daryl snarled. Both Rick and Daryl looked at Daryl in surprise.
'You and Carol not ... ummmm you know?' Rick made a whistling sound, Daryl came around in a snarl.
'I just don't need no lube! I'm a real man!' Daryl snarled.
'Whats on the list then?' Asked Glenn trying to grab it.
They looked at the lube, and massage oils, Rick, Daryl and Glenn started grabbing at it shoving some in their back packs for themselves. Chucking some in the trolley for everyone else.
'What are thoses?' Daryl asked. Pointing to a name, a brand name. The three of them stared at the shelves in the women's section. It was still pretty full but they didn't want to leave without getting shit off the list. They would get as much as they could but the women were desperate for stuff on the list.
'What the fuck are pettie tampons? What pettie? Is that a brand or a colour or something?' Glenn asked opening a box of tampons hoping that would help him figure it out. Held one in his hand and unwrapped it. Rick and Daryl watched as he tried to work the applicator.
'What's this bit called?' Glenn asked holding the cardboard applicator in one hand and the tampon by the string in the other. Daryl started chewing his thumb and Rick began stroking his stubble shaking his head, both men thinking hard.
'Regular, no applicator? Why do you need a applicator? What's the applicator? Is it a chart or something they keep track of stuff and things?' Rick asked reading the list.
'How the fuck would I know I an't ever had to buy this shit before Rick, till now I guess Carol got that shit from the storage room, Fuck I don't even know when if any of the women get them, or not all those bitches seem to be in sinc or somethin!' Daryl growled.
'I read something about them all lining up when they are all together all the time something about hormones. Getting their ummmmm "PERIODS" at the same time!' Whispered Glenn. ' 'Which ones does Carol use Daryl?' Glenn asked looking at Daryl wide eyed.
'I an't been there when she been using it! Fuck man you been married and now with 'chonne, you telling me you never brought this shit?' Daryl asked trying to reflect some of Glenn's interest onto Rick.
'I always took a empty box!' Admitted Rick. 'I don't know what 'chonne uses neither! I don't know if she gets it she just tells me to fuck off once a month like she's gonna chop my head off with her sword!'
'Slim fit? Slim fit? Isn't that like jean's!' Glenn asked reading the next thing on the list, looking up the isles for jeans. 'There are no jean's in the women's isle!'
'Why do you think they all have strings attached?' Glenn still swinging a tampon by the string. Making it spin Circles, Rick and Daryl looked at him if he was completely mad.
'Why the fuck you think?' Muttered Rick.
'Ewwwwww!' Groaned Glenn, Rick and Daryl physically shuddered.
'Super tampons?' Daryl groaned, looking at the list again. Then looking around the shelves. 'Fuck can any of you guys see super Tampons?'
' I can only see heavy flow ones!' Rick said as he flicked his flash light over the shelves shaking his head in wonder.
'Why is it all complicated. Why doesn't one size fit all?' Questioned Rick
'Pads and panty liners!' Daryl muttered looking at the shelf. He groaned as he saw them.
'How the fuck do you think g-string panty liners work?' Glenn asked.
'Why do women wear panty liners anyway?' Rick asked looking at Daryl.
'How the fuck would I fucken know, ya fucken idiot!' Daryl Growled.
'I don't know man lets just grab it all!' Daryl suggested.
'Condom's!' Rick read. 'Always condoms on the list who keeps using them all?' Both Daryl and Rick looked at Glenn.
'For her pleasure? Who wrote that? Is there ones for her Pleasure how does that work?' Read Daryl. The all snickered Rick locating a box that said for her pleasure.
'Open one!' Whispered Glenn, getting slightly excited about them for her pleasure. Rick laughed and rolled one up his arm, Daryl shook his head.
'Ya dick an't that big I seen it!' He growled getting sick of the fucking around. There was about 20 things on the list they still needed to find.
'Extra large sized condoms! An't no one needing that shit! Who the fuck needs super sized condoms?' Daryl stated. Glenn and Rick shook their head.
'Don't know, who's writing is it?' Glenn tried to see.
'Who has the biggest dick at the prison?' Asked Rick looking at Daryl again. Daryl looked like he wanted to hit him.
'I an't been looking at no one's dick in the shower, have you?' Daryl growled at Rick.
'Well you said you seen mine I assumed you saw others' Stated Rick.
'Half the fucken prison seen your Rick!' growled Daryl, thinking back to when Rick got drunk and decided to do a strip tease in the common room. They looked at Glenn who blushed.
'Maybe Bob or Ty?' Glenn muttered holding the list up to the flash light seeing if they could figure out who's writing it was. It actually looked like Carols thought Daryl laughing to himself.
'Its Carol's look!' Glenn whispered pointed to the top of the list where Carol had written the name on the list. Rick and Glenn looked at Daryl.
'Some one has high expectations of themselves! Mine is bigger!' Stated Rick, he stepped away as Daryl started to growl. He slipped a few boxes into his pack in case they were for him.
'Cock rings! Who the fuck wrote cock rings! on the list!' Daryl groaned.
Glenn was laughing hard holding his sides.
'Do they sell them at the super market?' Asked Glenn.
'I don't know people just wrote on the list Glenn!' Daryl stated. Feeling a bit embarrassed.
'I want cock rings!' Stated Glenn, 'How do they work?' He looked totally honest looking at Daryl.
'I didn't fucken write it on the list! So stop looking at me!' Daryl grunted. He looked sideways at Rick because he was so still at his side, he knew it was Rick.'You dirty bastard!'
Rick grabbed a few packs and put it in his own back pack. What the fuck, Daryl and Glenn put some in theirs too.
'Electric tooth brushes! Why do we keep going through so many electric tooth brushes?' Asked Rick.
'We always get heaps and the women burn through them!' Rick looked totally innocent looking at the men.
Daryl and Glenn swallowed hard. Wondering if Rick was kidding.
'I think some of them use them for...' Glenn winked at Rick and raised his eyebrows. Rick shook his head not really understanding what Glenn was saying.
'Well I'm not supposed to tell but some of the women use them for... you know!' Glenn tried to say.
'You know!' Lowering his voice in a tiny whisper.
'Christ Rick some of them put them on their clit to get off! Ya fucken stupid! Even I have heard of a redneck vibrator!' Daryl whispered in a hissy to Rick looking around as if the women of the prison were standing behind them.
'So when every women in the place pounces on the toothbrushes they are ... you know!' Rick whispered back shocked. Scratching his head. 'Michonne's got like ten dead ones in our cell!' He whispered. Rubbing his stubble, 'You mean she's been?' Not really knowing what to say. Daryl bit his lip, Glenn was laughing out right.
'Don't need to know!' Whispered back Daryl. 'But maybe suggest borrowing one and see what she say's!'
'You mean Carol has got one?' Rick asked Daryl.
Daryl Shook his head. 'Nah threw that shit out, if she wants to get off I can get her off! Unlike!...' Daryl nodded and pointed at Glenn and Rick, Daryl smirked.
'So at night time when I'm going out to watch they really aren't brushing their teeth at midnight?' Rick looked totally shocked. Daryl was laughing hard. Glenn looked embarrassed.
'You mean we are risking our lives here so the women an masturbate? Even Beth?' Rick hissed, Looking around. Well they really weren't risking their lives there were no walkers about.
'No Rick I like to pretend my 17 year old sister in-law is brushing her teeth when she pounces on a tooth brush after a run!' Glenn stated. Rick and Daryl laughed their arses off.
Daryl reached up and grabbed handfuls of electric tooth brushes. Rick put his hand on his.
'Lets pretend there were none!' Raising his eyebrows. Daryl shook his head.
'Nah man imagine what they would all be like Cranky enough already without that Shit! Imagine what they would be like if they never got off. It an't like you never spanked it in the shower Rick!' Knowing full well he had caught Rick spanking it more than once in the showers.
'Ok Gentlemen whats next. Shavers, hair wax, hair dye and hair removal cream.' Glenn shuddered thinking about it.
Daryl grabbed every box of tampons he could get and ever pad he could get, and smirked to himself loading it up with electric toothbrushes. And normal ones
'Who do you thinks doing their bikini line?' Rick asked, Glenn and Daryl suddenly were really interested in finding out who was going to get lucky in that area. Shavers and things had run out a month ago and they hadn't been able to find any more for a while. All the women were getting hairy. In Carols writing there was a note. (GET IT ALL!). Daryl took some shavers and hair removal cream and shoved it in his own bag noting the others were doing the same. The rest they piled in the trolley.
Pregnancy tests Daryl, Rick and Glenn swallowed hard hopping that one wasn't for them. They piled in all the tests. They had cleared the women's isle of its products took it out to the truck and come back in.
They all shoved deodorants and shampoos in their own bags before filling another trolley up with shampoo and gels and hair wax and all sorts of stuff for the hair.
Daryl started sniffing the perfume and decided to grab one of each for Carol so she could chose which one she wanted first. Rick and Glenn did the same. Putting the rest in the group horde.
'Why do we have to get the underwear?' Groaned Glenn.
'Dunno this looks fun!' Holding up a sexy bra and panty set against himself, Rick looked interested in pawing through it.
'Just get it all, get every size pile it up I'm done looking at this shit!' Daryl groaned looking at Glenn and Rick who were being stupid trying to figure out if the set they held would fit their women, they are fucken idiots, he thought.
What the fuck thought Daryl pulling up a trolley and swooping arm fulls of sexy underwear. Dumping it in the trolleys. Dumb bastards didn't even know what size their women wore. At least Daryl knew that. Always on the look out for the sexy stuff Carol wore under everyday clothes, only stuff that he knew about. Sorting through stuff shoving stuff that fitted her in his bag, taking care to choose stuff he would like to see her in.
Also being smart and getting stuff she could run in if they were killing walkers and 'normal underwear' please Daryl rung in his ears. You didn't want your boobs flopping around bouncing up to bang you in the eye if you have to run, she always said. Laughing to himself because he was getting the best stuff cos he knew her size.
Putting it all in the truck Daryl, Rick, and Glenn gathered anything else they thought they would need. Daryl grabbed some razors, deodorant and shower gel and anything that took his fancy. They threw everything else they could in the back of the truck.
Rick got into the drivers seat and they drove off to the prison.
'I learnt more today than I want to. I am not going to be there when you hand out those toothbrushes!' Rick announced, Daryl and Glenn snicked.
'Well maybe if you pushed the right buttons 'Chonne won't need one!' Stated Daryl. 'I got a book if you want to look at it!'
'I want to look at the book!' Glenns voice pipped up from the back seat.
