Author's Note: Okay so here's the deal.

My friend, Sophia (SONICEvsSORAgirl on FanFiction!) and I wanted to make an entry for Pewdiepie's fanfiction contest. However, after typing up a story that I KNOW is less than 500 words, Sophia tried to submit it. Guess what? We needed less than 500 characters—not words. So I managed to cut down the story into three parts and submit it, but I am rather furious with the way the contest is being held. So, for your own weird enjoyment, have the full unedited story. All to yourself. Go read it, you weirdo; enjoy the Falcon-pie.

I'll get back to writing my other stuff soon—school's rough. Anywho, enjoy!


I live in uncertainty every day.

Every time I look at myself in the clear, cool waters of Africa, I expect to see a beautiful giraffe staring back at me. But all I see is a Falcon Lover… who has a disturbingly large lack of noscopes. I was lost—without hope in this desolate world. Why was Mother Earth so cruel as to not grant me the noscopes I so desperately deserved—and also the body of a giraffe.

Hello, my name is FalconLordxxxXxxx-I am a trans-species, human to giraffe. The wide fields of Africa is where I belong. But yet, why do I feel so lost…? I think of the Falcon Lovers of the world—and how they have taken me so far. But even I would only have three subs instead of three thousand if it weren't for… him.

Pewdiepie. The way he yells into his microphone as he plays games, the way his golden hair falls like waves over his sky-blue eyes… it makes me want to cry. Pewds is my senpai, and I, the kouhai who he will never notice.

I sigh into the watering hole, listening to the far-off sounds of elephants and gazelles being murdered by lions. The sounds of Africa are so peaceful, contradicting my thunderstorm of feelings. Why won't Pewds ever notice me? Yes, he had made videos acknowledging my existence, but I was nothing more than a laughing stock to him… A joke. A Falcon Loser. Who would want anything to do with me…?

Suddenly, a loud cry pierces my ear drums.

"ARE YOU ASSHOLES WORKING FOR THE BARRELS?!"

I blink. That familiar voice, the way the volume of the tone almost gave me a freaking heart attack… Could it be…? No, I think, shaking my head. It's definitely not—

"THIS BETTER INCREASE THE NOSCOPES!"

I gasp. It is Pewdiepie! Immediately, I stand and spin around, running towards the sound. What I see shocks me. Pewds is surrounded by lions, trying to fight them off with his Razor Laptop.

"DAMMIT!" Pewds cried after smacking one of the lions upside the head and seeing it was unharmed. "Don't razors cut things?!"

"Pewdiepie!" I cry. I must save him! I spring into action, rushing over and making my best giraffe call. The lions' ears start bleeding and they run away, leaving Pewds on the ground.

I rush to Pewds and kneel before him. "Pewdiepie!" I yell. "Are you hurt?!"

Pewdiepie groans. "F-Falcon Lord…?" Pewds asks. "You… saved me?"

"I couldn't just let you die, Pewds!" I cry, sparkly anime tears falling down my face. "I… love you."

Pewds smiles. "I love you too."

Suddenly, he presses his soft lips into mine. I press my lips back into his, and finally, my one dream has come true.

Senpai has noticed his lonely kouhai.