Invasion of the Mary-Sues
A Humor Fic. By: Naito (who really should know better than to write things like this)
I do not own Harry Potter or anything else that common sense tells you is property of J.K.Rowling. If you actually believe that these characters are of my own creation, than you need strong medication, a psychiatrist, and to move out from beneath that rock you've been living under.
Thank-you and enjoy this random crazy string of thoughts that struck me while I was washing the dishes.
Naito.
Pairings? Our favorite Hogwarts boys and Mary-Sues abound! Until the end of course, because the ladies of Hogwarts aren't about to let a bunch of floozy, unrealistic tramps swipe their men. Oh, hell no they won't! So rally the troops, because it's clone-hating time! Power to the strong women, may they wipe out the weak!
Gather round children and let me tell you a terrifying tale. Be sure to leave the light on tonight while you are in bed, because this story shall surely give you nightmares. It is an account of a dark time that once befell the unfortunate students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Few survived the frightening ordeal with their sanity intact. Friendships were torn, true love was shattered and dreams faded from the hearts of those who survived this tribulation. Oh the humanity! I'm unsure if I can continue...Oh, but I must! For the heroine of this yarn must be renowned for her unsurpassed intelligence. She is a savior like no other. Listen closely, for I don't know if I could ever retell this story, it's simply too much for me.
It began like every other year at Hogwarts begins. With a grand feast and much jubilation. The paladin of which I tell this narrative walked merrily alongside her two closest friends toward the carriages that would carry them to a place that was – in their hearts – much like their home. A large man dressed in grubby clothing, waved to them happily, and they returned the gesture. Yes, thought our star, this would most certainly be a wonderful year. It was than that she seen them.
Eight of them. Giggling and casting flirtatious glances at any boy that strolled past them with big blue eyes. With a wide, practiced smile Hermione – our champion – made her way over to introduce herself to the blonde group of clones. They all were similar in looks and mannerisms. As she drew nearer the girls laughed in cheery manners, seeming friendly. Than, she realized, they were not even looking at her. They were gazing beyond her at – she turned around – her friends!
Angry now, she marched back to stand with the boys, whom were returning the smiles and waves as though it happened all the time. To be honest, for the raven-haired, named Harry, it did. Ron on the other hand, was a different story, yet he behaved the same. Forcing herself to be calm, Hermione glared at her comrades. Each gave her the 'what's the problem?' look and she sighed out of shear frustration. Men could be so ridiculously dumb sometimes. She glanced back at the guys, boarding the carriage behind her, what did she mean 'men'? They were still children.
The redhead sat beside her and Harry sat across from her. Both sporting expectant stares. With a deep breath she decided to voice her opinion of the ditsy, smiling, overly social airheads who had drawn so much male attention. "There's something not right about them, but I can't quite place it," she whispered, despite the noise outside.
"They seemed to be pretty nice if you ask me. How many people at Hogwarts waved to everybody on their first day?" Ron asked.
"Yes, but how is it that they're all starting at the same time, and so comfortable?" Hermione countered, finding this more suspicious by the minute. She knew that something was wrong, she knew that they were not right. She just had to prove it.
"Just let it go, 'mione," Harry muttered as he shot her a pleading look.
She considered protesting, but quickly changed her mind. It wasn't worth it without some evidence. Instead she sat in silence for the duration of the ride, plotting how she was going to deal with the walking headaches that appeared to be making the school their new playground. They were going to be trouble, for sure.
Inwardly, she concluded, that this year had gone from the best to what could possibly be the worst they'd yet to encounter. What she didn't know was that she would change her mind about that once more, when she was a hero who had the attentions of her one true love...
Yes, dear children, it seems that our idol has discovered her foes. Will she prevail? Of course, but how will she manage to do so, after all, eight against one is a teeny bit unfair, don't you agree? I do, but that's just my humble, narrator opinion. That's all I will speak of in terms of tonight's legend, as it's late and you should get some rest. Remember, goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the Mary-Sues bite!
This is just the first chapter, a little short I know, but that's just how it worked out. This idea just sort of came to me. I've got more that I'll post once I get it out of my heart and into type. It should be interesting. Please, if you've read this leave a review, they are what inspire me to continue with this drunken charade of playing writer. Keep an eye open for the next chapter in the story of the Hermione in Invasion of The Mary-Sues
Thank-you again,
Naito.
