"So, mate, where did mum say she was going to meet us again? I know it was on one of the muggle platforms but I can't remember which…" Sirius drones on as we pass through the barrier into the muggle portion of Kings Cross. Honestly, I can't really be bothered to listen. Just a few feet ahead is Lily Evans, completely engrossed in a conversation with Moony.
We had called a truce at the start of term, in attempt to make working together as Head Boy and Girl go more smoothly. Much to everyone's surprise, we not only have managed to work together, but we've actually become mates. Really close mates, actually.
It started small—winding down after a long prefects meeting with a cup of hot tea in the Heads common room. Then it became a nightly ritual. Soon enough, our friends noticed the lack of hostility between us and began hanging out as a group. Just last Friday night, Lily and I had snuck out to the Three Broomsticks, laden down with agendas and schedules, under the guise of powering through some heads business over butterbeer before the Christmas hols. Naturally, we got absolutely nothing done and spent the entire night talking – and, dare I say, flirting? By far, it was the closest we've ever come to going on a date and it felt amazing. It was more than worth having to stay in the next day to finish our tasks while the rest of our friends enjoyed the freshly fallen snow.
Though I had suspicions for a while, since last weekend I've finally been feeling really confident that my relationship with Lily will develop into something not-so-platonic. I don't want three weeks of separation to stall our… whatever this flirty, not-quite-a-relationship thing is.
This day isn't really off to a great start.
Since our little Hogsmeade escapade, I've wanted to ask to see her over the hols—and without the façade of head duties. Preferably in the form of a proper date. I'd tried to catch her alone for the entire train ride, but other people always seemed to barge in right as we started to talk. After a particularly insightful conversation with Lily a few weeks back, I know that part of the reason she always rejected my proposals was due to the fact that I almost always asked in front of loads of other people. I'm not about to make the same mistake again, not when there is a chance she'll actually say yes this time.
I watch Moony hug Lily goodbye and walk towards his mother. Lily stands alone on the platform, looking around for her own parents. Just as I'm about to make my way over to her, a tall, broad boy runs up behind her and quite literally sweeps her off her feet. I hear her laugh as she recognizes whoever it is. Who, I might add, I officially want to hex now, for the record.
"Trevor! What are you doing here?" Despite looking a little confused, Lily looks really happy to see this bloke.
"I'm catching a train, meeting my parents for skiing before Christmas this year. You?"
"Oh I'm just getting back from school. My parents should be here to pick me up, actually…"
"Ah yes, brilliant Lily, ditching us commoners for the genius boarding school." He must be muggle; maybe she knows him from primary school?
"Oi, mate! Earth to Prongs!" Sirius snaps his fingers in my face to get my attention.
"Wha…?" I trail off, not really paying much attention.
"I've been trying to tell you about the prank Moony and I starting planning on the train. What are you staring at…?" He glances ahead of us and no doubt also sees the git standing just an inch or two too close to Lily. "Oh. Evans."
"Do you know who that bloke is Padfoot?"
"Nope. Go over and talk, mate. You said you wanted to catch her before she went home anyways."
"Yes, but I don't want her to think I'm invading her privacy or something. We've just now started getting along so well, I'd rather not remind her of the stalkerish prick I used to be. You go over there!"
Sirius's eyebrows shoot up beneath his hair. "Me? Why me?"
"You guys are mates! She won't question your motives. Go!"
"Prongs, in case you haven't noticed, you two have been quite chummy too recently." I give him my best death glare. "Fine, fine, I'm going. You owe me."
I shuffle over behind a column so I can watch Sirius talk to Lily and the git a bit more inconspicuously. The great James Potter, reduced to hiding behind a damn pole to eavesdrop. For what it is worth, Lily sees to welcome Sirius into the conversation and immediately introduces him to her "good friend Trevor from home", with the extra emphasis on 'home' in attempt to convey that Trevor is definitely not magical.
As the conversation returns to Trevor's upcoming skiing trip (whatever that is), Sirius subtly beckons me over. Begrudgingly, I leave my safe spot behind the pole and make my way over to the group. As I'm approaching, Trevor is gesturing widely and making an explosion noise. I was so focused on dreaming up the perfect hexes for this bloke that I completely lost track of the conversation. I hover a few feet away, not keen on joining in.
"That was dumb," Trevor laughs. "I take my explosion back. I definitely should not explode like that." Sirius chuckles as well. Note to self: kill Padfoot for laughing at this git's story.
Lily, however, quickly shouts, "THAT'S WHAT HE SAID." I'm not sure who 'he' is, but Trevor starts laughing even harder than before. It must be an inside joke or something.
"Lily Evans!" Trevor gasps. "Did you just make a premature ejaculation joke?" Lily nods. I have no idea how the conversation took this twist, but apparently it makes sense to him. "Well ha, ha, ha. Very funny. I wouldn't know because that's not a problem I have!" He sounds like a petulant child.
Lily's back is to me, but she must have pulled a face. Trevor let out a low whistle before speaking again. "Well, this is awkward…" He trailed off and I barely caught him muttering the end of his sentence. "…'cause we've slept together."
I feel all of the color draining from my face. Did he just say what I thought he just said? Surely not. I mean, sure, I know Lily isn't a virgin, and that's fine and dandy in the abstract Lily-has-a-life way, but I've never actually known any details and suddenly I'm pretty sure it's not information I want. I start backing up, desperate to get away from the conversation before it gets worse. I can feel Sirius's eyes on me, but I refuse to make eye contact.
I am definitely going to kill this git.
Trevor laughs again, apparently trying to smooth things over. His loud, lighthearted tone is back. "That joke totally could have been hilarious with someone I haven't slept with. Like that guy, I bet he would have found it hysterical."
It takes me a minute to realize that Trevor gestured to me. Of all the random people he could have gestured to in Kings Cross, it just had to be me. Hell, Sirius is standing RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. The git hasn't slept with him!
"Yeah, somehow I find that highly unlikely," Sirius mutters.
This day is so not going well.
Lily whirls around to face me and her expression mirrors what I imagine mine must look like. She's gone completely white as she realizes I'm standing a few feet behind her – close enough to have heard every bit of the conversation.
"Oh, um, hi, uh…" Lily stutters as she regains her composure. "James! This is my old friend, Trevor." I can't tell if I'm imagining the added emphasis on the word 'friend' or not. The git reaches over to shake my hand as Lily continues. "Trevor, this is my… um, James. He's the other head student."
Trevor tries to start small talk with me, but I'm too distracted to engage. My what? What was she going to say? Does she also notice that we've been toeing the line between friend and more-than-friends for a while now? Or is she trying to brush over our relationship status for the sake of this bloke?
After what feels like ages (but was probably about 2 minutes at most), the git announces that he has to leave if he wants to catch his train. He waves goodbye to Sirius and I before turning towards Lily and planting a big, sloppy kiss on her cheek. I had just about regained my composure too.
In the awkward moment after the git leaves, Lily stares fixedly at her trainers and I look determinedly anywhere that isn't Lily. Sirius lets out a low whistle, much like the one the git made earlier.
"So, Lily, who was that again?" Sirius inquires.
Now I'm 100% sure that this isn't something I want to hear. The absolute last thing I want to listen to is Lily prattling on about some bloke she's dated. A dozen emotions are fighting for control: jealousy, anger, shock, jealousy, hurt, and some more jealousy, just for good measure.
I spin around and stalk off, not even bothering to give a proper excuse. What was I thinking? Of course there is some bloke at home completely smitten with Lily. After all, who wouldn't be? I'm having a million different visions of what their relationship was (is?) like, each more awful than the last.
This day is completely and utterly awful.
I hear loud footsteps behind me, jogging to catch up. I don't bother to disguise the gruffness in my voice. "Not now Padfoot, let's just get home, yeah?"
"Wait! James! I'm sorry! Can't we just talk for a sec?" I halt; that's definitely not Sirius. "Look, just give me a second to explain. It's not… well it's probably not as bad as whatever you're thinking it is."
Slowly, I turn to face her, but still avoid actually making eye contact. Lily seems to take this as permission enough to go on. Her voice is meeker than it was a moment ago though. "I've known Trevor for forever practically, his mum and mine used to be real tight. We started hanging out again last Christmas and then this past summer… and, well, we hooked up a few times. But I swear, it really meant nothing, not then and definitely not now. I haven't even thought about him for months."
Despite her perfectly reasonable explanation, I'm still seeing red. I try to reign in my emotions, but the bitterness gets the best of me. "Really Lily, I don't know why you're even bothering to tell me all this. It's not like you owe me an explanation or anything. We're not together. And even if we were, we weren't over the summer, so it's your life and your choices, Evans. I don't want to hear it."
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her visibly flinch at my words. For the first time, I meet her gaze and almost wish I didn't. She looks… sad?
"James…" She takes a few steps closer to me. "I know I don't owe you an explanation, but that doesn't mean I don't want to give you one. I imagine that wasn't the most comfortable conversation for you back there and I really, really wish that didn't happen. But I really want you to know that I don't like him like that. Sleeping with Trevor wasn't exactly a high point in my life and I could never, ever have a romantic relationship with him. Honestly, our friendship is pushing it as is."
I tear my gaze from her and look up at the high ceilings as I sigh. This time, I do manage to reign in my emotions. "I'm sorry, Lily, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I was just…"
"Jealous?"
"Yeah, something like that."
Lily smirks. "Wait a second, Potter, I thought you said I didn't owe you an explanation. Shouldn't that mean you don't have the right to be jealous?" Her voice is teasing and suddenly our witty banter is back and the awkwardness of the previous situation dissolves.
"Oh no, seeing as I am your resident pursuer, I'm always allowed to be jealous. Of anything or anyone. It's in the job description. Look it up, Evans."
"You are my resident pursuer? Haven't seen you do too much pursuing lately."
"Ah but see, I was just trying a different method. After all, the other 1547 ways I've asked you out in the past 5 years haven't worked out, so I figured this term I'd try something different."
"Is that so, Potter? And what is this new method? Never kiss me and hope for the best?"
I can't help but scoff at that. I have to actively stop myself from kissing Lily pretty much constantly. "No, silly, it's called becoming friends first and then really pursuing. But, if I didn't know better, Evans, I'd say you actually want me to kiss you."
Lily takes another couple of steps closer, stopping only a few inches away from my chest. Her tone isn't sarcastic this time. In fact, it's almost husky. And sexy as hell.
"Clearly you are getting dafter by the minute then, Potter, because I most definitely want you to kiss me."
It takes me a second to absorb what she just said, but when it does, I waste no time before complying. I wrap my hands around her waist and her hands find my hair. I pull her close and kiss her with five years of pent-up lust and love. It isn't until I have her backed up against one of the columns and am ready to pick her up and wrap her legs around my waist that I remember that we are standing in the middle of a train platform and it is probably wildly inappropriate to be snogging someone as passionately as I'm snogging Lily right now. But honestly, I can't be bothered to care.
When I finally pull back, I'm beaming. My smile turns into a smirk as I see that Lily is smiling as much as I am. "See, Evans? I told you: you can't resist the Potter charm."
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Potter. Just ask the damn question already."
My grin becomes, if possible, cheekier, as I lean down and whisper in her ear. "Go out with me, Lils?"
"Of course you idiot. About bloody time you asked, too." I turn my head and capture her lips with mine again.
This time, it takes nearly all of my self-control to pull back. "Wait, what do you mean 'about bloody time I asked?' How long have you been waiting for me to ask you out?"
Lily suddenly seems fascinated by the clasps on my jacket, fiddling with them as she grows pinker and pinker in the face. "Erm, I dunno, maybe since like the end of September…"
I can feel my smirk reach a new level of big. "I'm sorry, what was that, Lils?"
"You heard me perfectly well! I said since the end of September! Okay? I've been pining over your stupid arse and you've taken ABSOLUTELY. NO. HINTS." She pokes my chest (rather hard) with each of her last words. I don't know whether to laugh at the irony of it all or cry because we could have started dating two and a half months ago.
"Alright then, Evans, sounds like we have to make up for lost time. Starting immediately, I'd say. So, what do you think? Dinner tomorrow? No heads business, no school talk, and definitely no friends."
Lily smiled and placed a small peck on my lips. "It's a date, James."
I take it back. This day is quite possibly the best day of my life.
