Afraid of Bugs
There were very few people in the world that knew of Rin's secret. Not counting his mother, who had kept quiet because she also suffered from the same embarrassment at times, there was only Gou (who Rin forced to swear she would never tell) and his father who was about six feet beneath telling anyone.
Oh yeah. And Haru. Haruka Nanasa.
….
They were at the brilliant and tormented age of fourteen, going through puberty (aside from Nagisa who was two years younger). Makoto was in a phase where every twenty minutes his stomach would growl, and every morning he would wake up a little taller than the previous morning. He was eating his parents out of their home, and felt terrible for it nonetheless. Lucky him though, for as much as he ate, he gained it only in what seemed to be muscle. This was also the only time Makoto ever appeared to be faster than the other boys in the swim club. Most likely by his length alone.
Haruka wasnt changing much. His face thinned out a little, jaw beginning to show the first signs of maturity by becoming angular, but that was it. His body was well in control of its growth and metabolism, and his eyes remained stoic and stormy as ever. If you asked him, he'd tell you that none of his friends were changing either.
And then there was Rin, who was being put through his own personal kind of hell day by day. He couldn't grow fast enough vertically, yet his back and chest developed the evident strain of muscles from training. So he looked too square, too short and thick for his own liking. Not to mention every morning he would look in the mirror of his bathroom, flushed and embarrassed and just plain confused as to why another certain part of his body wouldn't stop growing.
There were no words that could describe Rin's horror to waking up in a sticky mess every other day. It was like he was four and wetting the bed again; only this time it wasn't urine, and wasn't anywhere but slowly drying to the inside of his boxer shorts. He hated it. Hated it more than how big his feet looked in comparison to the rest of his friend's. Hated it more than he hated losing in the pool. Hated it more than anything really- aside from one thing.
His voice.
Something he used to speak with so much emotion and authority despite his childish demeanor. His voice, of which he used to speak relentlessly in Haru's ear while the raven haired boy just stared onward, annoyed or fascinated or happy- who knows because Haru is impossible to read. That wasn't the point though. The point was that Rin couldn't bring himself to talk much anymore, and if anything, not loudly because it had this horrible habit of breaking right out of his throat. There was squeaking and pitch changes, and the high soprano that would invade his otherwise enjoyable tenor.
The pool and the water seemed to be his only escape as of late, and he spent more time underwater than he remembered ever having done before-probably because if he spoke under there, no one would hear the embarrassment.
It was late at practice, getting dark outside with Coach Sasabe picking up the toys and floaties like he always did. Makoto was tagging along, his long arms full and a smile on his face as Nagisa hung from the metal pole by the steps in the shallow end. Rin had a thought somewhere in the back of his mind, telling him that it wasn't fair Nagisa and Haru had escaped this horrible time in their lives. What was it his mother had told him? Puberty.
Right.
"Matsuoka."
"Eh?" He looked over quickly, distracted for a moment as Haru swam up to him, everything from his chin down submerged.
"Do you want to go dry off?" Haru asked, knowing that soon his grandmother would be there to pick him up, and if he wasnt ready to go she wasn't going to cook mackerel for dinner. And that would be enough to ruin the boy's day. Or week. Or year…
"S-sure." Rin stuttered, but only to test his voice because sometimes after not speaking for some time, it was the worst. Most unpredictable.
Haru lead the awkward, pubescent swimmer out of the water and towards the locker rooms with a strange look in his eyes. He stopped only to grab a towel from the rack, ready to throw it over his head and dry out his hair, before noticing that it was the only one left.
Had this happened a few months ago, Rin would have complained and told Haru he had to share because it was only fair of him. But since it was now, current and his voice would betray him, he decided otherwise.
Haru caught him by the elbow as he tried to push by towards the locker room. "Wait."
Rin turned to meet his dark blue eyes.
"We can share." He said calmly, and unfolded the towel so that it was spread its widest. He held one end out and the other just a little over his shoulder.
"Its not that big of a deal." Rin insisted, but was suddenly shoulder to shoulder with his friend anyways. They shared with the plush cloth around their backs, both holding an end at their opposite shoulders. It was warm, Rin noted, and couldn't help but blush a little. Haru was warm.
Rin may or may not have begun to feel the kind of weightless, airy feeling in his chest as he came to the conclusion that he liked sharing the towel with Haru. And he may or may not have been about to get what he would later come to know as a "boner" before something stopped him dead in his tracks.
He gasped a little, teetering back a step and his face, which had been the slightest shade of pink, turned into a ghost white.
"Wh-what?" Haru stopped, following the arm Rin pointed with, all the way to the floor where a lively young cricket was walking parallel with the benches.
"I-I-" Rin spluttered, his teeth digging into his lower lip. No. Not this. Why? Why did there have to be a bug in the locker room?!
He hated bugs. It was his deepest, darkest secret that he'd done an amazing job of hiding from his friends for so long now. Any kind of bug really. Long centipedes to roaches to bumblebees and butterflies. He just couldn't comprehend their existence. Couldn't rationalize what the hell they were put on this planet to do.
Oh and did he mention that crickets were his least favorite? As in, if he had to face his fears, he hoped to God it wouldn't be in the form of a cricket. Unpredictable and fast and skittish when you got near them- no thank you.
Not to mention, when he heard crickets chirp, he was undoubtedly reminded of the way his own voice chirped at the worst of times.
"What, that?" Haru raised an eyebrow at him, still snuggling into the towel that was around them. "It's just a cricket. Dont you know theyre good luck?"
Rin shook his head furiously. Not because he'd never heard that before-even Gou tried to convince him of how harmless the little "lucky" critters were- no he shook his head because his friend's first reaction was to walk him forward and bend towards the tiny creature.
"Nanase, stop." He nearly begged, and his voice tilted an octave higher in distress. Dammit. No!
"I'll catch it and just let it out-
Then it jumped. Straight towards Rin (or really he just thought it was going to attack him or something) and the redhead let out the loudest noise he'd managed in months. Voice high pitched and terrified and crackling in his throat like a firecracker. He stumbled back in terror, grabbing hold of the first solid thing he could find and hiding his face in it.
Haruka had to catch himself on the locker from falling back, and the scared and confused insect made a swift getaway in the same moment. Leaving the two boys alone once again. The towel had been dropped from around Rin, but somehow still managed to cling to Haru in the disaster.
"R-Rin." Haru paused, mouth hanging open in surprise at how unjustified that squeal had been, and perhaps considering the beating of the heart pressed against his chest. Pounding, off-beat da-thump, da-thump, da-thump, that collided on him. He could have laughed-he thought about it actually- but then decided on another reaction with careful consideration.
He brought the towel up again, using both his arms to wrap himself and the cloth around Matsuoka, and nuzzled his face into the shorter boys wet hair.
"I think it left." He murmured, but couldn't be sure-hopefully it hadn't jumped through the crack in his locker or something.
Rin took deliberately long breaths to steady himself, coming to the conclusion that Haru was holding him and that his words weren't teasing or mean and that he obviously chose to ignore the fact that Rin had just screamed like a little girl. And he was warm.
Yeah he was really warm…
….
Three years later Haruka Nanase was watching a cricket crawl across the floor while he lay in Rin's bed, drowning himself in the scent of his pillow (the one he absolutely couldn't sleep without) and his grey comforter. He knew without a doubt that he should get up, catch the helpless little creature, and release it out the window before his rival came back from his class to get dressed for swim practice. A joint practice today actually- but Haru had ditched out early for this. For a half hour nap in this bed that smelt like faint chlorine and cologne and absolutely of Rin. There was no way he was getting up for a cricket.
There was no knock on the dorm bedroom door before the redhead entered, shoulders back and chest broad and polo shirt a little rumpled from the hurry over here. A tie was hanging loose and undone around his neck, as he'd already started to change in the hallway. Haru looked at him, smiled a little at the sheer surprise on his face, and then buried his face a little deeper into his pillow.
"What are you-!? Haru!" Rin threw his stuff down in the chair by the messy desk that belonged to Nitori. His ears turned red a few seconds before his cheeks did, and the raven haired boy had to stop himself from making a comment.
He knew they'd been flirting for some time now, despite how oblivious Haru could seem, Rin understood that he knew what he was doing to him. Frustrated Rin began walking toward the bed, only to be stopped when something small and moving caught his attention.
"Rin?" Haru perched his lips, eyes glittering playfully as he remembered that day in the locker room when they were fourteen.
He paled, mouth falling open in a disgusted terror. His fists tightening as he stared at the creature between him and his bed and Haru rolling like a kitten in it.
Fuck you, you stupid cricket!
And then it jumped, and Rin screamed in the same unmanly fashion that he did when he was fourteen-minus the voice cracking though. Dove for the bed with Haru and promptly landed on him, knocking the air straight from his chest as he scrambled. Someones foot and Rin's head definitely whacked the metal bars.
"Fuck! Haru move!"
"Nnnhhhgg…"
A blanket was stolen and pulled over the redhead, and somehow he ended up halfway on top of Haru, face hidden in his neck and head thumping irresponsibly.
"Seriously?"
"Shut up, you know I hate them!" Rin insisted.
Haru's fingers came up softly, running along the other's shoulders to the back of his head; hair tied back in a loose band. He promptly pulled at it, released the red wine colored locks to fall as they may, and then soothingly began stroking his "friend's" head.
"I know." He allowed. "Do you want me to get it?"
Rin took a deep breath before answering. "Do you still see it?"
Haru glanced around (without much effort he must admit). "Nope." He really just wanted to stay like this a little longer.
"Then no."
There was a stillness that came from cuddling like that on the small bed. Heartbeats collecting together and minds swirling with memories of being younger and being pubescent and awkward. For Haru at least, it was a beautiful thing in his mind, and if he could go back to that day he wouldn't have changed a thing. Granted this day was a whole lot better.
"You smell like the ocean…" Rin murmured, finally, lifting his head from the crook of Haruka's neck and looking down at the boys stormy blue eyes. "Please tell me you didn't get sand in my bed."
He shook his head in response, face a little heated at the closeness of their bodies pressed together, and without thinking much of it leaned forward a little.
Rin was shocked when Haru, in all his usually-so-hard-to-read personality, placed a tiny kiss on his lips. So soft it was like a cherry blossom petal being swept away in the wind.
"Y-Yo-You…"
Rin croaked, his voice teetering higher, and cracking.
Haru smiled. Not a small smile either-no-he smiled a real smile. The kind that couldnt be dismissed as anything but happiness.
"S-Shut up!" Rin bit his lip, heat rising across his face instantly.
"I didn't say anyth-
Rin, in attempts to stop him from speaking anymore, pressed his mouth firmly to the boy's beneath him.
Between their lips moving together, their hands in each other's hair, the smell of the comforter and the ocean and sweet breath, puffing out for air now and again… Haru was smirking.
Crickets were lucky. He knew that. But he never would have guessed that releasing a cricket in Rin's room would do more than bring the boy into his arms again.
