Warnings: This is S*L*A*S*H Ladies and Gentlemen, which means male/male relationships. If you're uncomfortable with this, don't read. If you read anyway, then it is your own fault. Don't say I didn't warn you! Spoiler warnings for FotR, tTT and RotK.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own these characters or anything that has anything to do with LotR. Just borrowing..
I would like to thank my beta-readers Eruantale and Golden wolf for betaing this one. Thoughts are in --. The song is Celine Dion's "Tell him". Don't own that either...
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-Legolas-
He's standing there, unconscious of tall and proud he is, like a king. He is watching the sunrise. Or so it seems. He has been standing there all night. I know there is something wrong.
---
I'm scared
so afraid to show I care
Will he thinks me weak
If I tremble when I speak
---
I don't know if he sensed me, but as I'm approaching, he slowly turns towards me. The sun has blinded his beautiful grey eyes so he does not seem to recognize me.
"Legolas, is that you?" He asks.
"Aye, 'tis I, Estel," I answer. Our eyes lock for a while before I continue. "Is something wrong?"
He once again turns his gaze to the sunrise and sighs. "No. Nothing is wrong."
I can easily tell he is lying. I have known him almost his entire life... and I have loved him equally as long.
---
Oooh - what if
there's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do
---
Though I know this will hurt, I put my hand on his shoulder. I was right. As if lightning just struck me, a wave of sadness fills my heart... but also a wave of joy. Joy over the touch. Sadness over the fact that we can never be. He once again locks eyes with me waiting for me to speak, like he know I will.
"Estel, I have known you ever since you were a child. What ails you friend?" Friend. -Friend?-
-Aragorn-
Sunset and sunrise. These I have seen tonight without even noticing. Without closing my weary eyes for a second. Too many things are on my mind this evening. Gandalf disappearing in the mines of Moria, Boromir's death, Merry's and Pippin's kidnapping... and then there is Arwen. I failed her. As I have failed everyone else. Am I really the right to lead the fellowship? Obviously not, considering the turn of events.
The sound of someone approaching snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn around, slowly, hand on my sword hilt. I then realise I must have been staring right into the sun for I cannot see who the figure is standing in front of me.
"Legolas, is that you?" I ask, using the elvish tongue.
"Aye, 'tis I Estel, is something wrong?" he asks in turn.
-Is something wrong? Everything is wrong, my lo- no, friend. I have promised myself to Arwen.- I turn my gaze back to the sun and sigh. "No. Nothing is wrong."
He sees right through the lie. He always does. He raises his hand and rests it on my shoulder.
"Estel, I have known you ever since you were a child. What ails you friend?"
---
I've been there
with my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
you can't let the chance
to love him pass you by
---
I look at him, remaining silent, not knowing what to say.
"Estel. Tell me. I am your friend."
"I know, and I will be forever grateful for that."
At this Legolas smiles and waits for me to continue.
"I was not the one to lead the fellowship." I whisper turning my eyes back to the sun.
"Why would you say such a thing?!" Obviously, that was not the answer he expected.
"Everything has gone wrong, Legolas. Everything. Gandalf is gone..."
"That was not your fault. You know that. No one is saying that you are to blame" Legolas says.
-Legolas-
My mind refuses to believe my ears. -This cannot be- is all I have time to think before he continues.
"But what of Boromir? And the hobbits? They would not have been gone, had you been leading us." He now looks at me, his eyes pained and filled with grief.
"Aragorn," I say, using the name given to him at birth. "Stop this."
He shifts, but keeps his eyes to the sun. I cup my hand around his chin to force him to look me in the eyes, ignoring the bolts of lightning coursing through my heart. When he does, I continue.
"Stop doing this to yourself. Nothing of what has happened is your fault. You could not possibly save the hobbits. The orcs were too many. As for Boromir, even the Lady Galadriel foresaw his fall. Had you stopped him now, he would sooner or later have yielded to the Ring. It was inevitable."
I then realise that I still have my hand cupped around his chin, so I slowly let it fall to my side.
"You are right, my friend. As always," Aragorn says. "Thank you."
"I was glad I could help. But something more is troubling you, I can tell."
-Aragorn-
I thought that telling him about my doubts would hinder him from seeing what lies deeper in my heart, stabbing and punching. I go back to being silent, hoping he will let the matter drop.
"Aragorn," he says again. I really like the way he says my name... my birth name. "Friends confide in each other, do they not?" He looks hurt. And I do not want him hurt.
"They do, Legolas. We do." I answer. -How will I put this in words- I briefly wonder, before continuing "I..." I cannot finish what I was about to say.
"Yes?" Legolas encourages me.
"I fear I have failed Arwen," I blurt out. -There, now it has been said- I think bitterly -There is no going back now-.
Legolas looks like he has seen a ghost, and had the situation not been so serious, I would laugh. But I cannot. Not now.
"You fear you have failed the Lady Arwen." He says slowly. "Why is this?"
I knew that question would come. -Be a man or a coward- I tell myself. Too much is at stake to gamble with. What would he say if he knew? -There is only one way to find out- I decide.
"I have fallen in love with someone else."
---
Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself
---
T.B.C.
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