Hiya.

Depressing thoughts from recent GSD spoilers has inspired this short introspective drabble when I should be inspired to be spending time studying and being a good student. Blah, I guess it's pretty safe to say that GSD(or asucaga more specifically) has taken over my life. Hopefully, I'll be able to wrestle it back from its grasps once the series is over...(unlikely really)

WARNING: COULD BE SPOILERISH BUT NOTHING FROM AN OFFICIAL SOURCE.


I've always wondered what kept me here. What held me together, or how I manage to hang on when all I wanted to do was let go and have the black abyss claim me. But when those thoughts sneak into my ever unorganized mind, I'd see you. You with that pair of funny sunglasses, just standing there. Everything didn't seem so bad anymore then.

It was you. You were the one that experienced the same as me, the one that shared my pain. Many times you'd come and lift the weight off my shoulder, release the iron claps that threatened to choke me, and help me forget who I was, and what I had to do. I enjoyed those times; times of innocent fun, giggles, and mischief. I'd watch as you laughed along with me, watch as you held my hands, and smile when you blushed that funny little blush.

In those moments, I thought you felt the same. I thought I could feel your heart beating next to mine, and I thought you'd be with me forever, like fairytales of princes and princesses, promising a future together.

I guess...I guess I was arrogant.

But I can do nothing. I'll just enjoy your smiling face, albeit from distance now. I'll ignore the numbing of my heart, I'll ignore the thumping of my brain--I'll ignore everything. All that matter is you. Your happiness, your heart, and your soul. If she can reach further than I can, so be it. If she can glue back your broken mind, like you did me, so be it.

I'll sit behind my desk like always, sign paper like always, and attend meetings like always, even if you're not here. I'll shake hands with countless ambassadors, I'll smile for the masses, and I'll give up the life I had, because I acknowledge, it's what I am born to do. I won't escape from my fate, nor will I change it. I'll shoulder my burdens.

As you leave out my door, can you promise me something? Escape for me so that when you next visit, I can see the happiness in your eyes and pretend that happiness is mine too.

It's okay, as long as yours is strong and beating, I'll let mine break in cold, dark silence.


Really, if they DO break up, let's hope it's done right at least. I wouldn't mind TOO much if everything is done tastefully and beautifully. For the sake of the fangirl in me, I want CAGALLI to be the one breaking up with ATHRUN, not the other way around.

Sorry for the bad grammar! And reviews would be lovely.