You Left Me
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing of CSI. Christmas is coming up soon...maybe I'll get them! If I do, the first thing I'll do is bring Jorja Fox back.
Summary: Sara left him...he thought she was smarter than that to make the same mistake he did.
A/N: Yes, this contains spoilers for Goodbye and Good Luck...unless you're living in a hole, everyone knows what happened. Big thanks to my BFF Ashley aka theyHAUNTme for convincing me to post this...you rock chicky!
Grissom stood there in his office, reading and rereading the heart-wrenching letter over and over again. It was not possible. She could not be gone. How could she just leave him? She had joyously agreed to marry him. Everything was going so perfectly until Hannah reappeared in their lives'. If she and her brother had not shown up, Sara would still be there.
The letter fell limply to the ground as Grissom tried to process it all at once. His head started hurting and the room started spinning all of a sudden. He collapsed onto the couch and rested his elbows on his knees while his face lay in his sweaty palms. Tears were stinging at his eyes as he fished around in his pocket for his cell phone. He hit speed dial two and he heard it ring and ring and ring. With each passing moment, his hope began to diminish. He heard her beautiful voice tell him that she was unavailable and to leave a message. Swallowing the tears, he said, "Hey, uh, it's - it's me. Uh, just wondering what the hell you're thinking, but I hope you find whatever you're hoping to achieve...bye."
He hung up, and walked slowly out to the parking lot. Starting up his car, he sighed and set his head on the steering wheel. After several minutes, he knew he had to get going home. Although, he knew it would not be home unless a certain brunette was there. The drive towards the house was quick, and when he got home, a Boxer bounded up to him. Hank sat back on his haunches and looked at him, his head cocked to the side. A tear fell down Grissom cheek as he patted the dog's head and whispered, "She's not coming home, buddy. She's not coming home for a long time."
After feeding the dog and letting him outside to do his business, Grissom walked to the bathroom. He turned on the hot water before stepping under the scorching spray. His skin stung, burned, and turned red from the heat, but he didn't care. She was gone, and he now felt empty inside. The tears ran down his cheeks freely as he completed his shower. After cleaning up, he crawled into bed, even though he knew he wouldn't get any sleep. The spot where she slept was cold, and that made his chest ache with loneliness again. He grabbed her pillow and buried his face into it. It smelled strongly of the mango-scented shampoo she used, and that brought him the slightest bit of comfort.
As he suspected, he was unable to get any sleep. Sara hadn't called him back, and that did surprise him. She always called him if he was worried about her or didn't know where she was. Then a thought crept into his mind that sent shivers down his spine. Maybe she didn't want to be found. Maybe she wanted to just disappear without a trace. This thought sickened him, and he tried not to think about it. He looked at the clock and saw that it was only noon. He picked up his phone and dialed her number again in an attempt to reach her. Once again, he got her voice mail.
"Hon, I'm really concerned...please, if you could call me back –" his voice caught in his throat. He swallowed the lump that had formed before whispering, "I need to hear your voice...I need to know you're okay! Please...just tell me that you're okay! I'm sorry I didn't see that you were burning out...I wish you knew that you could always talk to me. In your letter you said that you didn't want me to see you self-destruct...I'm hurt that you don't trust me enough to let me help you when you do. I really do hope you find what you're looking for...and if you come home, I honestly don't know if I'll be here. Goodbye Sara."
Grissom hung up, hoping that she would call him. He knew what he had just said was a lie; he would always wait for her. He just hoped he would scare her into calling him. It was horrible, he knew, but he was desperate to hear her voice. Sure enough, his threat worked. His phone rang moments later, and Sara's panicked voice was on the phone.
"Gil?" she asked, her voice full of pain, concern, and uncertainty. "Gil?"
"Yeah, Sara...it's me," he whispered, trying to keep his voice as normal as possible. "I'm glad to hear your voice."
"I just...you sound so hurt," she mumbled, regret obvious in her voice. "I'm so sorry, I just...needed to get out of there. I don't blame you for hating me...I honestly wouldn't blame you for leaving. Our relationship was amazing and I'll cherish those memories until the day I die."
"Sara...I lied," he whispered. "I only said that I might not be here if you ever come back was so that you might call me back. I just need to hear your voice right now...I'm sorry for not seeing that you were breaking down."
He heard her sniffing back the tears as she said, "I was a fool. I realize now that if I were to self-destruct, that you would be the only person I would trust to help! I'm so sorry...God, I'm sorry!"
"Shh, honey, it's okay," he said, trying his hardest to soothe her, even though they were apart. "I'll still be here if you come back...will you return? Where are you right now?"
"Yes...I'll come back," she whispered. "I don't know when, but I will. Right now I'm on my way to visit my mother in San Francisco...I don't know if I'll be able to do this."
"I believe in you...you're a strong woman, Sara," he told her, wishing he could be beside her right now, comforting her properly. "Remember, I'm just a phone call away. If you ever need some support or someone to lean on...I'll be on the next flight over."
She sniffled and said, "Thank you. Well, I'm at her house. She's living with a friend because she can't get a job...wish me luck. I'll call you when I get done."
"Okay...I love you, be safe," he said sorrowfully.
"I love you too...more than you can ever imagine," she responded quietly before ending the call.
Grissom sighed as he put his phone down. He lay back down, and as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out. He was woken up that evening by his cell phone ringing in his ear. He jerked awake and answered it. He heard someone crying in the background and instantly knew who it was. Since he was already dressed, all his did was get his shoes on and hop into his car while soothing his fiancé.
"Sara, I'm on my way over," he said, driving as quickly as he could towards San Francisco. "I'll be there in a few hours...will you be okay until then?"
In between sobs, he heard her answer yes. He willed the car to go faster, but he knew he would still take him several hours. Nearly five hours later, he was pulling up into the hotel at which she was located. He ran up to her room and knocked on her door. An exhausted-looking brunette answered the door, and he scooped her into his arms. Sobbing into his shoulder, she wrapped her arms around him. Grissom walked inside the room, and sat down on the edge of the bed, rocking Sara back and forth.
He sobs started quieting until she was just sniffling back the tears. He brought his hand up to her face and used his thumb to wipe away the tears. She brought her hand up and held it to her face, relishing the feeling of it. She brought it down to her thigh before kissing him gently. He enveloped her into his strong arms, threading his fingers through her silky hair.
"I'm so sorry...I never should've left," she muttered.
"I thought you would've learned from my mistake," he whispered. "I left you for a month and we were both miserable...I thought you'd be smart enough to not run away if you have problems. Once I was gone I realized that with your help I could've solved all of my issues."
"I realize that too...stay with me," she said brokenly. "Please?"
"Of course," he whispered, kissing her passionately. "You may have left me, but I'm never leaving you. You're stuck with me until we die."
And neither of them would want it any other way.
A/N 2: I hope it wasn't as crappy as I thought it was. If you liked it, tell me. If not, tell me why and I'll fix it. Review and get a hug!
I am working on the next chapter of A Fairytale Romance as we speak, in case you were wondering. It might be a while until it's posted because I've got some crap coming up soon.
