A/N : This is an idea that was tinkering with, Forgive my Grammar and spelling mistakes as it has been a long time since I wrote.
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Chapter 1 – Decision
I woke up with a start to my friends shaking me. We had been travelling to the now obliterated District 12. My Home.
The last several days had been grueling and emotional for everybody, especially the survivors. It began with the rescue of the tributes in the third quarter quell, A daring plan that was undergone at the heart of the tyrant, Coriolanus Snows', seat of power. The Capitol of Panem.
The other victors were informed in varying degrees about the breakout plan. The only ones who were kept in the dark were myself and my district partner. Katniss Everdeen.
It was a stroke of luck that allowed myself and Johanna Mason to be rescued. The rebels had stolen 3 hovercrafts to rescue the people who were important parts of the rebellion. I was informed later that the hovercraft that rescued me and the district 7 victor almost did not make it out of the hangar because the soldier that was supposed to pilot it was shot. Luckily one of the Capitolites in the assault squad knew how to pilot the craft but was not an official pilot because of a revoked license. I shudder to think what the President would have done to me and Johanna if we were captured.
We had our own problems though. Apparently the communicator and the tracker was damaged during the raid, and even though the Positioning system was intact; This was a double edged sword because while our enemies were left in the dark of our position unless they had us in their line of sight, it left us with no way to communicate our position with the other rebel hovercrafts.
Landing in 13 was tense because we had no way to signal them that we were friendly, that is until Johanna Mason opened the pilots window and threw down all of the firearms.
After landing, we were immediately ushered to the medical wing of the district where doctors tended to our wounds. I was still in shock at this point and had to be sedated because of my unwillingness to cooperate but truthfully it was because I kept asking them about Katniss.
The next day I awoke to find the victor of the second quarter quell sitting beside my hospital bed, He briefed me on everything that has happened, the planned breakout, the involvement of Plutrarch Heavensbee, the brewing rebellion and the answer to the question that I wanted answered the most. Katniss was safe.
After that he told me about district 13. How they survived, why they had stayed hidden, the establishment of the underground spy network. Then he dropped another bombshell. The bombing of District 12. It took me a few moments to compose myself after that, but Haymitch being Haymitch dropped the biggest bomb that day. None of my family survived.
After that I just lost it, it got so bad that the Doctors were forced to put me under. All in all I spent my first six days in 13 sleeping under the influence of drugs. When I awoke the second time, they released me and a soldier escorted me to my new quarters. It was a big room with two bedrooms. It was too much for one guy to take and when asked, the soldier told me that it was for the Mellark Family.
I held out until the soldier left then collapsed to the floor and cried.
I don't know how long I stayed on the floor but I somehow managed to pull myself to my feet and to the hole in the wall where the soldier told me my schedule was to be imprinted on the underside of my arm. A part of me wanted to ask how that would work but I was too upset to care at the moment.
Only four things were written on the smooth surface of my forearm. 18:00 – Reflection, 18:30 – Dinner, 20:00 – Bathing and 23:00 – Lights out.
I glanced at the clock and it showed 18:15.
With the help of another soldier, I was able to locate the cafeteria. I was early and not a lot of people were there yet so I went ahead and went to the place where the trays were located. A few minutes later, I was seated at the table at the farthest corner, away from the entrances and where two walls stare back at me.
I didn't touch my food, I was just staring at it, once again I found myself just staring until I was joined at the table by Johanna Mason.
"Hey Mellark" she said as way of greeting.
"Johanna" I reply. Not really wanting to have a conversation with anyone. Fortunately she seems to sense this, or is just hungry, because she proceeds to wolf down her meal. We sat in companionable silence while she eats and I stare at the ant crawling on the table top.
As soon as she finished eating, she switched our trays and began eating my dinner. I didn't say anything and just watched as she ate possessively. When she finished she stood up and said "Nice talking to you Mellark" then sauntered away leaving me with two empty trays.
Sighing, I stood up, grabbed the trays, deposited them on the counter then made to leave the cafeteria. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the Hawthornes and the Everdeens minus Katniss eating together. I expected the usual pang of Jealousy to build up within me but instead I just felt empty. I quickened my pace and darted through the door but not before I saw two pairs of blondes looking at me. I didn't recognize them nor did I feel the need to. I just went straight to my room, locked the door and slept on one of the beds in the bedroom.
I was awoken by a knock on the door. Once again not knowing how much time has passed. I was disoriented at first but the knocking became more frequent. Knowing that it will not stop soon, I went out of the bedroom, crossed the space between the door and myself and opened it.
On the other side was a person I never expected to see again, It was my old friend Delly Cartwright.
He did not know how long they stood there, frozen in an unspoken standoff. The last time he saw her was during the goodbyes before his first games. After their return he expected their friendship to continue but things got in the way.
He looked straight into her eyes, watching them glisten over and finally shed tears as she lunged forward, threw her arms around his neck and cried. On instinct he closed the door and wrapped his arms around her waist and sank to the floor.
He let her cry into his chest while he rubbed soothing circles on her back.
Holding a sobbing Delly in his arms made him realize a few things. First, he was not the only one who lost a loved one. He might even be better off because he had Delly and Katniss.
Katniss ….
She did not need to pretend anymore. They were out of reach of the capitol. She did not need him anymore.
Then he felt his own tears start to fall, and for the first time. He was glad that he was not alone. He hugged Delly tighter and let his own tears fall.
"Peeta?"
He was snapped out of his flashback by his friends voice. He looked up to the blue eyes of his best friend Delly who was looking at him questioningly through her baby blues.
He looked around and realized that they had landed and were currently disembarking. He gave her a small smile then stood up and followed her out of the hovercraft.
The sight has me frozen on the spot. Almost nothing remains of District 12. A week ago, the Capitol's firebombs obliterated the coal miners' houses in the Seam, the shops in the town, even the Justice Building. I am almost too scared to see if the Victors village made it because that's where we lived and we were not high on the capitols buddy list.
I felt the tears and the emptiness starting to gnaw on my insides but I pushed them down. I needed to do this. I don't know how it will affect the rebellion but I will be damned if I didn't try to ease some of her burden.
I started walking towards the huddle of people a few yards away who were tinkering away with either cameras or making up the other District 12 Native who came with us.
Gale Hawthorne.
Off to one side Cressida, a director in charge of getting films for Plutrarchs 'propos' was chatting about what he expected the seam hunter to talk about and what they need to hear. Meanwhile Portia , my stylist during my hunger games, was sprucing up his hair.
Delly told me of Gales heroics the night of the bombing. How he directed many people towards the forest and kept them fed for three days before the hovercrafts from 13 could arrive. It garnered him respect from the survivors and 13 citizens alike, so much so that he immediately gained the rank of commander and was given a communicuff. Something I was told was only given to people who are important to the cause.
A part of me was jealous but I knew that he earned it in an honorable way.
I looked for Delly and then went to her.
"Are you ready?" I asked
She nodded and after telling Cressida where we are going and what we will be doing, she let us go but she made me promise to be ready to shoot my part of the propos as soon as Gale was done with his.
We walked silently and I got increasingly anxious as we neared the Victors Village, I was dreading what I would find but a part of me just wanted to get it over with.
It turns out that the only area that escaped incineration was the Victor's Village. I don't know why exactly. Perhaps so anyone forced to come here on Capitol business would have somewhere decent to stay.
When we got to the village, I went directly to my house and went into the bedroom that I had converted into my own personal studio. I took a moment to take in the room. Aside from the layer of dust everything was untouched, I sighed in relief.
It took me 6 trips to bring every painting I needed down with me, and during that time , Delly already ignited the fire pit in the backyard and has been keeping it going for a while.
When Delly came into my compartment last night. She was blubbering out apologies to me for the way she treated me. I shushed her and promised that we would talk about it but we needed sleep more. The next day I was whisked away for a meeting and that's where the proposal to go to 12 and the propos were made. Outwardly I agreed but inwardly I had my own agenda. The first was to rebuild my damaged friendship with delly. The second was much harder. It was to let go of Katniss Everdeen.
Fortunately I thought of a way to do both at the same time.
Luckily Delly was silent throughout our brief time together. Never questioning my requests and just following me. But I knew she was just waiting for the right time for me to fulfill the promise i made to her the night she came to my compartment.
He didn't know how long he and his friend were crying and clinging to each other for support. He was rubbing her back once more and just let his tears fall. Before long delly pulled away slightly and started mumbling apologies between sobs.
"Shhhhh" I told her as I pressed a finger to her lips
"we will talk Delly. About Everything. But for now we need to sleep."
I looked at her while she stares back expectantly. Not able to put it off any longer , I put my plan to action and grabbed the first canvas.
I showed her the paining and as agreed, she would only listen to me, and after I am done I will listen to her.
"Ill go through the first paintings quickly,You already know the story behind tham anyway" I told her and she just replied "Okay"
The first painting was of my dad when he is baking. It was when he is happiest. When every challenge he ever faced seemed to diappear from his face and he is able to find true enjoyment. Nothing about his failed marriage and the torch he carries for Mrs Everdeen seems to affect him when he is baking , that was why I chose to paint him in this manner. To immortalize the man that did right by everyone despite the great cost to his personal happiness.
After looking at the painting for a while and letting my tears fall, I placed the painting in the fire pit and watched it burn. As it was being engulfed in the flames, I grabbed the second painting.
It was of my brothers wrestling when they were still in school. I was 14 , and my older brothers were 18 and 16 at the time. It was the Harvest festival and the final wrestling match was between them. Behind them were two girls. Their classmates who became their wives and my in laws. I never met them because they were wed after my first Hunger Games. I cried more as I regret not making more of an effort to talk to my sisters-in-law. Soon after I tossed it in the flames. Prompting it to roar even higher and the heat to become greater.
The next painting was my mother. It was a day when I was barely 4 years old. I was watching her bake cookies and I was holding her apron. I didn't know what prompted her to do it but she kneeled beside me and fed me a cookie. Then she smiled at me, the first and last smile I saw on her face. I spent the next 12 years getting beaten and screamed at. I was scared and I was sad, but I yearned to see that smile once more so I just accepted the beatings she gave out.
The last painting I burned about my family was a family portrait. It was what we would have looked like if we were alive today.
I started the next batch of paintings with one of Prim. I explained to Delly that after the first games, she was the only one who comes to talk to me. Never about her sister though, they steered clear about that topic however she was glad to do anything when she visits, typically after school before Katniss comes home from hunting or almost the whole day during Sundays.
Then came the paintings that were hardest to let go.
Katniss in a red dress and two braids
Katniss outside the bakery when she was 11 years old
Katniss at the harvest festival
Katniss during the train home after the first games when she told him that everything they had was fake
Katniss kissing gale
Katniss holding gales hand after he got whipped
Katniss kissing gale in the meadow outside the fence before their second reaping that he secretly witnessed and if he was honest. The straw that broke the camels back.
"Katniss at the cave"
"Katniss at the beach"
After the last painting, Delly hugged me and told me that she was sorry. I didn't dry my tears because I was proud of them and at long last it felt that a great weight had been lifted upon my shoulders. After that I listened to Delly, her memory of her family and her friends that she will miss, she especially remembered her little brother.
We exchanged stories, asked each other questions, I asked mainly about why everyone abandoned me after the first games. She answered honestly and always ended her answers with promises that she will never leave me again. That she will always stand by me.
After exhausting all topics and crying ourselves out, I reflected what we did. This was my second chance at life. This was the start of the next chapter, This was the day I embark on a new journey with new opportunities. This was the day I let go of the past.
I then did the last thing I could think off to honor my past life and Delly followed suit.
We placed three middle fingers to our lips and saluted to the sky.
It is an old and rarely used gesture of our district, occasionally seen at funerals. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means good-bye to someone you love. I have never felt the meaning if this gesture as completely as I do now.
This is my Goodbye to my Family.
This is my Goodbye to Katniss Everdeen
End Chapter 1
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