Disclaimer: Yeah, this isn't mine. I own nothing, see:
My ownage levels for Gallagher Girls:0
Ally Carter's ownage levels for Gallagher Girls: 100
So, now that's out of the way, on with the story! :D
Sitting on my bed, I glance out the window, already knowing what I will find: rain pounding on the window, demanding my attention. I can't help but think back to a different time, with a different rain, different people, different emotions. Different everything. Your face forces itself into my mind, memory breaking past the carefully built walls I created.
Your smile is perfect, as always. Water drips down every inch of cloth, skin, and hair it can find. Even though you're not doing anything, you're perfect. So damn perfect it hurts. Your arms encircle me as your hand tilts my face up to meet yours in a kiss. When we finaly break apart, we're both grinning like fools.
Now I'm back in the present and I can't stop the torrent of tears streaming down my face like the rain on the window.
It's as though someone put the "cry" setting on full blast and I can't stop it. The strategically constructed barriers broke down and all the memories of us are flooding through my mind.
I turn away from the window and realize no matter how hard it rains, you won't be there. No matter how much I cry, you won't be there. No matter how alone I am, you won't be there. No matter anything, you won't be there. You just won't be there.
But someone else is.
The door creaks open and Bex enters the room. Her hand gently comes down on my shoulder.
"Cam?" she tentatively asks. "You okay?"
I can't respond, but she already knows the answer. I won't be okay for a long time. It's so obvious. It's written on my face, heard in my sobs, seen in my red eyes, glistens with my tears.
I just sob even harder into my pillow and Bex rubs my back while murmering soothing words that have no meaning. Soon two more sets of hands join those already on my back, and two more voices join Bex's low one. I shove my face even deeper into my pillow. I just can't get the picture of you and Tina-GOD Zach! Tina? I thought you had better taste than that! Then again, I thought you wouldn't cheat either- out of my head. It's imprinted into my mind. Yesterday and earlier today play in my mind.
-Flashback-
You're arms are gripping her waist, like how they used to hold me, and she's clinging onto you like you're a life preserver in the middle of a storm. You're mouths move against eachothers with such an disgusting fevor. I swear I can see your tongues moving together. And I just broke. I ran as fast and hard as I could to my room, not caring about who heard or saw me, and locked the doors, not as though they would have stopped you- or anyone here for that matter.
I lean against the door and sink to the ground to face my roommates expressions if confusion with such a broken expression on my face that the fear in Macey's voice when she asks, "What happened Cam?" is so visable that I'm surprised that I couldn't see it. I explained everything to them, and with each hollow word that escaped my lips, I saw them getting angrier and angrier. By the end, even Liz wanted to kill you. Of course, you chose that moment to knock on the door. I move to my bed and my three best friends answered it, opening it so that you could only see their faces, and not me. You want to explain, or something. Like there is anything to explain. Macey screams almost the exact same thing, "WHAT IS THERE TO EXPLAIN? YOU BROKE HER HEART!"
"I DIDNT MEAN TO!" you yell back.
"Just because you didn't mean to doesn't erase the fact that you did!" Bex spits out venomously. There's a pause.
"Please. Just let me see her." you sound almost as broken as I feel. Why do you have any right to feel sad about this? I didn't cheat on you!
"Just leave Zach. You've done enough damage, and now we have to fix your mistake" Liz's quiet voice breaks through the silence with such anger, I'm almost scared that she'll punch you.
"But-"
"Leave, NOW! Unless you want a broken bone." Bex threatens, accent becoming stronger with every syllable.
"Please" did your voice just crack? No, I'm just imagining things. Bex's arm whips through the air and a crack follows the thump of flesh hitting flesh.
"Leave. We're not gonna say it another time." Macey says coldly, and I hear your footsteps echo and fade as you walk away.
My three best friends shut the door and turn to me. I see in their eyes pity for me. Well, not exactly pity, but their sympathy. Bex offers to beat him up again and I force a weak smile.
Liz sneaks off to the kitchen to get a bucket of ice cream while Macey and Bex try to get my mind off of you. I'm not crying, I'm still in shock that it happened. I won't cry about you for a long time. I try not to think of you Zach, but it's so damn hard! Everything reminds me of you.
Half-way through the bucket of ice cream, there's another knock at the door. Bex and Macey stand and walk to the door while Liz stays with me, arm around my shoulder protectively. Like she can sheild me away from you if you come. She gives me a slight hug and Bex opens the door to reveal a very pissed off Grant.
"Why" he asks," does my best friend have a broken nose and a black eye?"
"Because I punched him" comes Bex's haughty reply.
"I know that. I want to know why though" Grant seethes.
"Because he wouldn't leave" Macey says through gritted teeth.
"SO YOU PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE? Couldn't you have talked it out?"
"We tried asking him, but he wouldn't leave" Macey was defensive now
"It doesn't mean that you have to punch him though!" Grant exclaimed
"That wasn't the only reason I punched him" Bex says darkly
"What was the other reason?" Grant asks warily. Bex reserves the use of that tone for when she is beyond anger. And when she's at that stage, beware.
"Oh, so he didn't tell you? I'm not gonna ruin the surprise then." Bex says sarcasticaly.
"Who didn't tell me what?" Grant demands
Bex gives a short, mirthless laugh that's more like a bark than anything. "Go ask Zach how him and Cammie are doing"
"And while you're at it, tell him that we aren't done with him yet." Macey interjects
"Wait, what-" but he doesn't have time to finish because Macey is closing the door on his confused face. My friends walk back to me and Liz.
"Do you want to watch a really sappy movie? Or make a dart board of Zach's- sorry-his face and test it out?" Macey softly offers.
I crack a half-smile. "Thanks, but I really just want to sleep"
I subconsciously rub the ring on my middle finger before I realize which ring it is. But I don't want to take it off just yet. It may have been from you, but it's comforting. I think back to the day you gave it to me. Were you cheating on me then? Was it just a guilt gift? But I quickly rid these thoughts from my mind. It's gonna be hard enough to sleep without analyzing everything you ever did. That can wait for Saturday, only two days away.
I get under my blankets without bothering to brush my teeth or change my clothes.
Despite how hard I pray for sleep, it doesn't come to me. I faked rest and a few minutes later I hear the third knock of the night. Someone answers it and Liz says, "Quiet, she's sleeping."
"Oh, sorry. I just heard..." Grant's voice reaches me.
"Yeah" Bex says
"How is she?" Grant questions
"She's..." Macey says and I feel 4 pairs of eyes on me. "How do you expect her to be? She refuses to cry, at least infront of us, but we can tell how heart broken she is. What she needs is to not see Zach. Not for a while."
"I'm not sure how well that plan is gonna work. I mean, he's still at Gallagher with Blackthorne. It's not like he can just leave. And Cammie can't avoid him, he's in all of her classes." Liz says worriedly.
"She's a Gallagher Girl, she can do anything. Besides, she's got us to help her." Macey says confidently.
"If you say so." Grant doubtfully states.
"Okay, so it probably won't work. But what else can she do? Seeing your ex is bad enough, but seeing an ex that cheated on you? 10 times worse." Macey sighs.
There's a pregnant pause before Bex's voice bursts through the silence. "How did he tell you what happened?"
"Well, when I asked him how he and Cam were doing, see, he already looked really sad. Like, he-just-heard-about-his-parents-being-dead sad. But when I said Cammie's name, he got even sadder. He said something, i couldn't hear it. He was speaking too quietly. I asked him to say that again and he said just loud enough that I could hear him, 'Cammie caught me and Tina making out.'"
"Then what?" Macey prompted. I'm also intrigued. I want to know what happened next.
"Well, I was shocked. He never told us-me and Jonas- about it. So I stood there like an idiot for the next few minutes just gaping at him. When I came to my senses, I kinda went insane. I started yelling at him, saying that he never should have cheated on Cammie, and how he was such a jackass to do so. I kinda feel bad now but-"
"He fucking deserved it. He deserves that and so much more shit. Cammie is one of the best people he will ever meat, and now he just screwed up his chances with her." Bex says viciously.
"Yeah, I guess so, but he's my best friend. I don't want him to be miserable. I'm not saying that he didn't screw up big time" Grant says hurriedly. "Just that I want to get his side to this. I didn't exactly give him a chance. And you never know, this might just be a big misunderstanding."
"I don't think that we somehow got the wrong facts, but maybe we could see what he has to say." Bex grudgingly admits.
"Without Cammie, though." Liz interjects.
"Right, without Cammie. She's already has enough problems as it is." Macey agrees.
Footsteps echo throughout the room. Someone turns on the sink to brush their teeth, someone opens their closet, and someone opens the door.
"I'll see ya tomorrow." Grant says tiredly, as though he doesn't even want to wake up tomorrow. Like he want's to skip the day entirely.
"Yeah. See ya babe." Bex replies and I hear the sound of kissing for a second then the door closes.
"Well..." Liz trails off, unsure about what to say.
"I hate him!"
"We all do Bex, but there's not much we can do now." Macey says exhaustedly.
"Besides, if you sleep now, you'll have more energy to kill him tomorrow" Liz adds.
"I guess. Well, night."
"Night."
"Good night."
And my friends fall asleep almost instantly. I soon follow them, only to dream of you. Dammit Zach! Can't you ever leave me alone? I can't even get away from you in my dreams! If we were still dating, you would've made some joke out of that. Insisting that you were literally the boy of my dreams. But we're not together, so it only reminds me of all the times we had. Stealing kisses between classes, make-out sessions in little-known passageways, flirtatious notes passed during lectures, dates in Roseville.
I fall into a fitful sleep, waking every hour, until my friends wake up too. The four of us get ready in near silence, the only noise coming from my friends was they check to see if I'm okay. When we enter the Grand Hall for breakfast, the volume level drops considerately. Tina obviously managed to tell the entire school about the night before. I spot an empty table, not really in the mood for Tina or Zach, least of all both. Bex and Macey sit on either side of me while Liz takes the seat across the table. Grant and Jonas soon join us, and Grant surprises me with a hug, whispering "I'm sorry" in my ear. I'm a little stunned but manage a smile.
Everyone's eyes are on me, I can feel them. It's not a pleasant feeling when you're codename is The Chameleon. I'm not used to being looked at, I'm used to being overlooked by everyone. I'm so uncomfortable having over 100 eyes on me, but I managed to ignore them. Zach's still on my mind. I just can't figure out why he was with Tina.
"Cam? We're gonna get food. Do you want anything?" Bex's voice brings me out of my contemplation.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry." I say softly.
Bex gives me a doubtful look, but is soon distracted by the sound level in the Grand Hall shooting upwards. Another presence enters the room, and that presence just so happens to be the very person I least want to see. I'd rather face the Circle of Cavan alone than see him right now. And he, of course, was you. You, Zach. Before I realize it, all 5 of my friends are talking to you. I see Macey getting pissed off and Bex looking ready to put your other arm in a sling. Now that I notice it, your eye does look awful. Bex must've hit you harder than it sounded.
You glance over here and when our eyes meet, I can see the pain in your eyes. That's what's confusing me! Why are you so sad about this? You should be happy. Now you finally get to be with Tina without me messing thing up. I smile bitterly to myself after your attention is demanded by Bex punching your good arm. Hard.
I stand up, not at all happy with this situation, you being here and all, and head for the doors. Unfortunately, that means entering a 5 foot radius of you to tell Bex, Liz, and Macey that I'm going to class so they don't freak when they realize I'm not there. Bending my head down, i stare at the floor and mutter a quick "See you in COW" to my friends, and hurry off to class.
The rest of the day is spent avoiding you, something easier said than done. I remember a time that I had been thrilled that you were in all of my classes, now it's just another time that I'm forced to remember you. In COW I remember when you sat next to me in class, and the entire time your hand was snaking up and down my thigh while you whispered into me ear. In Advanced Encryption you gave me a code that, when cracked, said I love you Gallagher Girl-Z. During a Culture and Assimilation class about a month ago, we practiced dancing again, and we had that cliche moment where it seemed like there was no one else in the world but us. It's thanks to Covert Operations that we even met that day in D.C. It was to the P&E barn that we had snuck off to have a heavy make-out session after school. I swear I can still feel your arms wrapped around my waist while my legs tangled themselves around your hips. The memory of your tongue wrecking havoc in my mouth almost sends me to tears. But the day is over and I run to my room. I distract my self for a few hours with homework, determined not to think of you. And it works. At least, until the rain starts.
-Flashback End-
"Cam? Cammie?" Bex brings me back to the present. Tears still pouring down my face like a faucet on full blast, I ignore her.
Liz whispers "I think she wants to be alone."
Macey agrees. "Cammie? We're going to be right outside if you need us or want to talk, 'kay?"
I move my head in a manner that vaguely resembles a nod and they make their way over to the door. Once they are out, I start flat-out sobbing. It hasn't even been a day and I already want you back. Half an hour later, I'm shaken from my misery by a loud tap on the window. I turn my head only to see you. God! You freaking idiot! It's practically a storm out there, and yet you decide to scale a building in the hope that I'll open my window so you can woo me? Well, if that was your plan, it's working. I opened the window and allowed you inside. You're dripping wet, hair plastered to your face and clothes clinging to you like a second skin.
I sniffed. "Wha-what d-do you wa-want?" I manage to say through leaking tears.
You reach towards my face, maybe to wipe a stray tear, but I recoil. The pain in your eyes wasn't visible for a few moments, then you let down your shield and I saw how miserable you were too. "A chance to explain. I'm so, so sorry Cam. I swear to God I would never, ever cheat on you! T-"
"Oh, so kissing another girl isn't cheating? Has the definition of cheating changed recently, because I don't remember it this way in the dictionary!" I exclaimed.
"But I didn't kiss Tina, she kissed me! I was trying to get her off of me when you came. I swear I didn't kiss her, I don't even like her! I don't like any girl but you Cam. Please! Realize that. And give me another chance! I swear that it won't happen again." You sound so desperate for me to believe you, I almost do. I look into you're green eyes and see the desperation mirrored there. You're not lying, your pupils and steady pulse tell me that, but...
"I-I don't know." I look down at the worn carpet.
"Please Cam! Please, I promise you that you'll be the only person to kiss me from now on." You grab my hands. The water from your hair drips and mixes with the forgotten tears on my cheeks.
"You can't promise that" I whisper. The rain is still thundering down on the roof and making it impossible to see outside the window. "We're spies, there's nothing we can promise each other. It's against the rules."
I swear I can hear the smirk in your voice. "But Cammie, being a spy means rules-optional. And we've never exactly been ones for rules, have we? So, if I promise, to never," You kiss my forehead. "ever," Now my nose. "in my lifetime," My right temple. "kiss another girl," My left temple. "will you go out with me?" You breathe the last few words into my ear, causing shivers to erupt down my spine.
"Yes" I whisper back. I can't help it, I love you too much to be away from you.
A glorious smile breaks across your face as you tilt your head down and kiss me furiously. My arms wrap around your neck, bringing myself closer to you while your hands grip my waist so hard that they'll leave bruises. Your tongue runs across my bottom lip, begging for access which I willingly grant. Your tongue fights with mine for dominance in a familiar battle. My hands run through your slippery hair and legs wrap around your hips. Your hands slowly slide upwards while your mouth moves to my neck, leaving sensuous kisses over every available inch of skin. I tilt my neck back to give you more space and let out a moan. You let out a small chuckle and a small gasp. Wait, a gasp? I look to see my roommates at the door, gaping at the scene in front of them.
We hurriedly disentangle our limbs from one another and straighten our uniforms. Silence fills the air, an uneasy, silence which, once ended, anything could happen.
"Goode. Leave. Now." Macey says shortly.
You walk to the door and right before exiting, give me a small smile.
"Okay, explain what happened in the hour that we left you alone. When we left, you were sobbing your heart out over this guy." Bex demands.
I say everything that happened from the tap on the window to when they entered the room. Its quiet for a few moments. I sit nervously until Liz says, "And you're sure? About you and Zach, I mean."
I smile. "Yeah."
"He better be worth it." Macey grumbles.
Nodding, I say "He is." And you are. You are worth every moment, good and bad. Because you make me smile, and laugh, and cry. You know everything about me, my likes and dislikes, my peeves and things I adore doing. But most of all, because I love you.
Bex ruins the moment in my head by asking, "If he does cheat on you again, can I kill him?"
I roll my eyes. "Yes Bex, you have my permission to kill Zach if he cheats on me again."
Bex has a happy smile fixed on her face now, and Macey, Liz and I are all laughing as she describes exactly how she will kill you. Please, Zach. Don't cheat, cause Bex has some nasty things in store for you if you do.
So, how was it? It's my first fanfic, so I'm sorry if it sucks... If you have any advice, please give! Thanks!
-black-feather
