Author's Note: I had a request for a sequel to my Natsu x Lucy story I Promise. In thinking and debating, chasing around plot bunnies for seemingly forever, I have come to the conclusion that I will add this one shot. I would hope that you would enjoy this, but even as the author, I found no pleasure in it's contents...only a sadness that needed to be expressed in words...
/
Running his fingers through his hair, a sigh escaped past his lips. He'd tried. So very hard he had tried to be there for her, hold her as she screamed, so lost in the memories of the abuse her father had forced upon her. Whispered to her sweet nothings in the dark as she fought her demons, praying that his own would stay at bay, just long enough to see hers disappear into the darkness they were born of. No words, no promises, no letters – nothing Natsu tried to do for his Lucy could fade that dim light in her eyes. For awhile, they were happy...for awhile, the world seemed that it was a bright and happy place for the two of them. For the whole of the newly made Redfox / Marvel / Dragneel / Hearfillia family, life was amazing...
Everyone had embraced Lucy as one of their own. Loved her and treated her just like a sister and best friend become lover respectively. For awhile, the darkness of the world was hidden, lost in rose tinted glasses. What fools...what idiotic and naive fools they had been! With Jude's death ruled a suicide, it had never gone to court officially. Never pursued. In the after math of the events, they had lived as best they could. School, life, work, Lucy helped with Wendy, Levy and Gajeel had become engaged and happy, his parents were smiling a whole lot more – the world seemed a good place!
Except for the demons dancing just behind those tear glazed chocolate eyes Natsu had come to know better then his own self.
Even now, just thinking about it, his hands clenched tighter on the podium ledges, the tie around his neck feeling as if it's restricting, the knot to tight. Looking down on the faces of his loved ones, the people he'd tried so hard to hide his demons from, day in and day out for, Natsu could feel their strength. Their love. They were there for him as he spoke these truth filled lies. Offering encouragement and nodding approval as he spoke words of empty comfort.
"She was a good woman..."
Lucy, I will love you forever...
"Always a smile, always a happy word for others around her, even through all the pain and heartache she'd gone through in life..."
I'm sorry I wasn't able to drive away your demons, Lucy...
"A beacon of light in the world, just her smile was enough to fill you with such warmth and peace – when she looked at you and smiled, you knew beyond a doubt, you were loved..."
Forgive me...forgive me for not catching you as you fell. Forgive me for not holding you tight enough. Forgive me...please...I know it's to late to ask this of you, but I beg of you, forgive me...
Unable to stand the restricting of his tie any longer, Natsu reaches up and rips the offending garment off his neck. Dull and lifeless eyes take in the crimson, a bitter and sour taste filling is mouth, clogging his throat so his air is cut off and he's unable to breathe. As he twists the material in his hand, the tears that he was unable to shed before finally escape. All the anger, the pain, the frustration boils out from him in tears of glass, shredding his heart, his soul...shredding the thing deep inside him that allowed him to hold his own demons at bay.
Footsteps and voices, chairs scraping against the floor, people awkwardly looking around, trying to not intrude on his break down, trying to offer support. All of this he sees through tear blurred vision, not caring, not fully understanding. Curling in on himself, Natsu wants nothing more then to just hide from the world, let the tears run their course and live in obscured oblivion.
To hell with the world that took her away from me! To hell with the sick bastard that beat her down to nothing! She was smiling again! She was okay, we were okay! We were going to make it...
"Natsu."
Like a lifeline he clings to the voice murmuring his name. A hand reaching out into the darkness of nothingness that he was feeling.
"Natsu, look at me. Lucy wouldn't want this for you...she'd want you to be strong and face your demons. You're not alone, kid, just hang on..."
Reaching out, his hand meets that of another. Callused and worn, immediately he feels like a little kid again, curled in Gajeels lap, a bucket beside them as Natsu watches a cartoon, Gajeel smoothing his back in slow circles and talking softly. Anything to distract Natsu from the nameless fear of being sick...
Once again, now many years later, Natsu finds himself being pulled into his brothers lap, soft murmurs of nothing sitting softly in his ear, once again, the hand at his back soothing and warm.
A desperate plea to his brother to just look at him and promise that he's not alone. A desperate plea to just bring her back...bring her back, let him hold her once more! Let him see those shining brown eyes, those pale lips, so soft...the blush like a blooming rose kissing her cheeks. Natsu's voice breaks as he begs Gajeel for these things, knowing with out a doubt, that his brother could not bring Lucy back. No one could.
She's safe...Lucy, you're safe...your demons can't hurt you anymore...
Letting Gajeel grip his jacket to help him up, Natsu lets his brother take his weight as he walks up to the podium. This time, he does not hide his demons. He does not hide his pain. He does not hide his anger.
Instead, he strips these feelings bare, for the world to see. Instead, voice so laced with pain, it once again sets his heart to breaking, he allows Gajeel to stand at his side, his brothers hand guiding his back straight...Lucy's memory guiding his voice as it breaks and cracks, slipping for a hold, just for this little bit – just until he can once again cling to his brother as he breaks down, a little child on his brothers knee once more.
Looking down out to the see of grief filled faces, he clears his throat once more and allows the tears to fall as he speaks these last words in his beloved Lucy's memory, his gaze shifting to the picture beside her ancestor tablet, over to the decorative urn that holds her ashes. All that is left of his Lucy Heartfillia...his best friend, his lover, his fighter...his angel.
I will always love you, Lucy. With all my heart, forever...
"My name is Natsu Dragneel...let me tell you the memories I have of Lucy Heartfilla...let me tell of of the day the rose tinted glasses finally shattered..."
I will always love you, Lucy. With all my heart, forever...I promise...
/
Author's Notes: I will also be making another – this ones complete opposite to be exact..."A Promise Kept" the lighter side of the sequel one – shots. Please read that one as well! Reviews appreciated!
~ The Most Beautiful Of Lies
