Greetings, Earthmen. Just to be clear, this is intending to be funny, even though probably no one but me will think so. Also, this is parody; I am a fan of Star Trek (obviously), and do not mean to demean or undermine Gene Roddenberry's vision. I don't own Star Trek. Enjoy
Star Track
Ch. 1
Space; the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her five-year mission: to explore strange, new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.
"To whom are you speaking, Captain?" said the First Officer.
"Oh, Mr. Spork," said the captain. "I didn't realize I'd said that out loud."
"Captain Cork," said the helmsman. "Entering the atmosphere of Planet X."
"Thank you, Mr. Ford," said Cork. The crew of the Enterprise liked to chide their helmsman about his name – Hikaru Hans Solo. "Prepare a landing party."
"Aye, Captain." Solo entered the command into the computer.
"While we're on the subject," said the captain, "Mr. Jackov, do you have suitable coordinates for us to beam down?"
"Aye, Keptain," he said.
"Good. Send them down to Mr. Snott." The captain turned to face his First Officer. "Mr. Spork, would you kindly go and fetch Dr. McCoy? I'll meet you in the transporter room."
When the captain arrived in the transporter room, the ship's chief engineering officer, Montgomery Snott, already had everything prepared for the landing party.
"Alright, Cap'n?"
"Everything seems to be in order," said the captain. "Now we just wait for Mr. Spork and the doctor and then we'll be ready to beam down. If I may, where will those coordinates that Jackov sent down here beam us to?"
"Seems to be a gravel oval with six big rocks in the background, Cap'n," said the engineer. "Pretty standard stuff, from the look of it. Here they come, Cap'n." Sure enough, the doors slid open to reveal First Officer Spork with Dr. Leonard McCoy in tow.
"I don't see why I had to come along, Jim," grumbled the doctor.
"Doctor, this is an unexplored planet," said the captain. "What medical officer would I rather have down there than Boners McCoy?" The landing party took their places on the transporter pads.
"Everyone set? Good. Snotty, beam us down!"
