I pull my arms tighter around me, trying to keep the heat within my black cardigan. I breathed slowly in the cool air, and blew it out as it created an almost 'smoke' effect. I took in my surroundings once again, taking everything in making sure it stuck in my brain.
The Quileute tribal school was small, and was built in the main village. It was a brown brick building with a slanted roof. It kept a little over a 100 students most of which I was acquainted with. La Push, where the school was built was a tiny reservation mostly known as the 'rez'. Everyone here knew everyone.
We were a gossip loving reservation whether we liked it or not. Women huddled in the corners of the supermarket, churches, beaches as they told each other gossip they'd heard from other gossip sessions.
This summer my family had been the topic of the gossip. Everyone and I mean everyone had tuned into my Dad's disappearance. It had shaken not only my family but the whole rez. In their opinion, no one was safe. An unwritten curfew was put upon the rez, no one was ever seen out past 9 pm anymore.
My Dad's disappearance had happened on a humid Thursday during July. He'd left everything as it was as if he wasn't going anywhere but when my Mom who had been shopping in Forks at the time had called home and told my Dad to turn off the slow cooker because the meat might burn and he'd replied he would but when she'd arrived home an hour later. The slow cooker was still on but my Dad was gone.
She'd assumed maybe one of his friends had called at the door and he'd left with them to have a walk or watch the Football on the TV at the nearby bar, the only place with a HD screen. She decided she'd have it out with him when he came home - but he never did.
My oldest brother Luca, and my youngest Brady and myself had been cliff diving that day with our friends to celebrate the start of Summer. One we thought would be our best, we were sorely mislead.
We arrived home about ten that night after we'd dried ourselves off at the Bonfire to a concerned frantic mother. She'd already called the police when we'd arrived home. A family friend, also the police officer Charlie had arrived with no emotion on his pale face. We'd been used to him in our house, more as a friend than a police officer. He had a weird aura to him this time, a scared one.
'Don't worry, Bonnie.' He'd said to my Mom. 'We'll find him and get him home safe'.
It had been nearly four months and every lead was false. My father had literally vanished off the face of the earth. Recently, I'd just pushed it away from me. I couldn't deal with my depressed mother, or my brother's who pented up their anger even though I tried. I had been given the mothering job, unofficially.
My mother who'd stop doing everything she'd once did was now a broken woman. She'd let her brown hair turn grey at the roots and stopped wearing her favorite makeup and perfume. It was understandable she'd lost her first love, her only love. They'd been together since High School. My mom was from La Push, while my Dad was from Forks the closest town to us. They'd met at a Bonfire, and the rest was history.
So, we'd gotten partially my Mum's dark skin tone and black hair while we'd inherited my Dad's curiosity to nature and sci-fi stories.
It wasn't odd that in a few days within my Dad going missing conspiracy theories started circulating. Mostly that he was captured by some cult, or even he willingly left to be in a cult. My Dad was into all that. He was a famous author. He wrote supposed 'true events' about 'supernatural' creatures. He had crazy stalker fans but we didn't dwell on their conspiracy theories.
During my inner thoughts, I hadn't noticed my boyfriend make his way slowly to me. His hands dipped in his jean pockets, and a loose black top on him. He'd obviously just rolled out of bed because it looked like he'd misplaced his jacket and thought he'd be too late to school to find it.
"Hey, Babe." He says, wrapping an arm around my waist as he pulls me into a bear hug.
Quil who was my boyfriend was what I embarrassingly and only to myself called my soulmate. They say one in four high school relationships continue into marriage and I didn't doubt our relationship wouldn't make it till marriage. Quil and I just got each other. There wasn't anything I wouldn't tell him, or feel ashamed to tell him. He had been my biggest support when Dad went missing and I was unbelievably grateful for him because of that.
Our relationship had gone through rocky parts during my Dad's disappearance but even when it was so hard and I was sure Quil hated me and wanted me to disappear, he didn't leave my side. He stuck by me when I'd 'break up' with him, or when I'd be too repulsive to be with he wouldn't dare leave.
"Hey." I mumble. I dig my head into his shoulder. I notice his paranoid look, the almost semi permanent frown that had buried itself on his face recently. It's worse though, along with the protruding dark circles under his eyes. "You okay?"
"I dunno." He answers honestly. He glances behind him and looks toward a group of stocky, tanned males. I felt sorry for Quil instantly. Last Summer when everything seemed to be going well for Quil, his 'best' friends Embry and Jacob had ditched him without so much as a explanation. I knew Quil felt awful and there wasn't much I could do. I invited him to hang with my friends and their boyfriends but it wasn't the same. He'd grown up with Embry and Jacob. Embry had ditched him first, then a month later so had Jacob.
In La Push, another popular thing to gossip about was the group - or even cult Sam Uley had put together. They thought as themselves the Tribe Protectors but this was La Push - what was their to protect? They never stopped the youth from littering, or planning fights or even stopped teen drinking. They didn't talk to anyone within the community anymore. It had started with Sam Uley last year during the winter when he'd disappeared for two weeks, something I'd always wanted the police to look into after Dad had gone - was there any chance Sam's 'finding himself' story wasn't true? Had someone kidnapped him and then came for my Dad? It was a silly thought but it had haunted me.
After Sam, it was like he'd recruited more teen boys like Jared Cameron my neighbor and then Paul Lahote someone I never really had any time for mostly because he was just irritating to me. Before he'd been 'recruited' he was a loud mouthed asshole who drank more than anyone I knew and smoked weed like he was a pro stoner - which he was. After them too, it had been Embry and then Jacob..
Quil then turns shakily toward me again. "They were at my house last night when I got back from your house." He gulps. "Gramp's wouldn't tell me anything. 'Council stuff', or something.. Then this morning Embry and Jake and Jared followed me to school.. I know they're coming this way too and you might call me paranoid but seriously, I walked to the shops too to see if they'd follow and they did. They followed me into the shop and didn't buy anything.." Quil sounds defeated. "I don't know what they're playing at. I tell Gramps but he makes me feel like I'm just crazy and paranoid.."
"Quil, what the fuck?" I frown. "Did they say anything?"
"No, as soon as I got in they were leaving but.. Sam stared at me as I walked inside. Then at the shops, I wanted to say something but.. I didn't want to seem crazy."
"Do you want me to say something?" I ask, caressing his arm.
He jerks away. "No!" He says almost angrily. "Do you how much worse it'd be if you said something? I'd be the laughing stock."
"Uhh.. Sorry?" I pause, removing my hand from Quil as his frown goes deeper.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of gone off at you like that. It wasn't your fault." Quil quickly corrects himself.
"It's fine. Let's go get our schedule, yeah?"
"Yeah.." He agrees slowly, taking one last glance at his two old friends before following me inside.
At lunch, I'm on edge. It's the first time I've been back in school since my Dad's disappearance and it's like it's not 'old news' anymore like it's totally fresh. Teacher's I hadn't seen all summer had asked me how I was upon arrival to class and then had given me their condolences - something I'd always thought was just for when someone died, apparently not.
I order a chicken sandwich in the lunch line and Fiona the kitchen lady gives it to me free because I 'deserve' it. I'm confused totally and give her the money anyway - How in the world do I deserve a chicken sandwich? I never did anything.
The friends I hadn't contacted all Summer had awkwardly cleared a space for me. Amber, one of my best friends had been AWOL all summer. As soon as her Mom heard someone had gone 'missing' she'd whisked her away to Florida for a Summer rid of La Push and all its problems. I hadn't talked to her since Dad had gone missing, and truthfully I missed her. Quil slips in beside me as I sit down beside her.
"So.." Tara Crown, one of my 'friends' awkwardly murmurs. "How are you doing now, then?"
It takes me a minute to realize she's talking to me and when I do I put my chicken sandwich down and think of something to say to lighten the mood. "Uhh. Good. Fiona the kitchen lady gave me a free Chicken Sandwich."
"That's shit." Pete, Amber's boyfriend chuckles. He always was a really nice guy. "I heard that Chicken's just left overs from last year."
"I heard that the orange juice isn't from actual oranges." Tara's boyfriend, Phil interjects.
"I heard it's vitamin water." Quil adds, but he's not even looking at us. He's just staring at Embry and Jake's table who aren't even staring at him - I follow their gaze to Luca's table. Luca's standing by the Jocks table his arms crossed as he starts to speak rapidly and angrily.
Ever since Dad had gone, Luca's anger had started getting worse. There was holes in our walls now because of his terrible anger issues. He hit every wall he could when his anger got the best of him.
He has his Football jersey in his hand as he shakes rapidly. I knew this would happen - he hadn't attended practise all Summer he'd been too busy mourning Dad and also drinking until he couldn't stand and now he was being kicked off the football team - and he was the captain. His voice raised higher as Timothy Rielly stood up, and clamped his hand around Luca's jersey.
"I'll fuckin' kill you, Tim. I'll fucking kill you, let the fuck go." Luca shouts at his peer.
I couldn't watch this any longer as Luca reached forward and grabbed Tim's collar. It wouldn't be good for any of us if Luca was kicked out of school on the first day, but It wasn't just me who couldn't watch anymore because as I started up from my chair and started walking over so had Embry, Jacob and Jared. I wasn't as fast as them my little legs couldn't carry me as fast as Jared's long legs could. He grabbed Luca first, his arm wrapped around Luca's shoulder tightly as Luca resisted.
Luca elbowed Jared hard in the ribs but Jared didn't budge. Then Jacob intervenes taking Luca's free arm and restraining it behind his back - I could see Luca's face go red and his eyes go teary as the two huge boys held him.
"Get the fuck off me!" He bellows. "Get the fuck off me!"
I am ready to push past and save my brother but I feel two warm arms wrap around me. "Stop, Heidi. Just stop."
It's Embry, and with all my might I turn and push against him. I repeat what my brother had just shouted - "Get the fuck off me."
I hear Quil as he starts toward us. "Hey - Hey! What's going on here?" He yells, I know he feels uncomfortable coming head to head with Embry and Jake in this horrible situation.
Jake and Jared took one look at Quil before pulling a terrifying looking Luca who appeared to be shaking like he was having a seizure outside. The whole cafeteria looked on as I wriggled out of Embry's strong grip and ran toward the two double glass doors but I could no longer see them. They'd made their way across the car park - they must have gone into the forest.
I turned around and glared at Embry who had grabbed his, Jared's and Jake's school bag from there seats and was beginning to walk toward the outside.
We follow him quickly, and everyone in the cafeteria seems to be buzzing from the scene that had just happened.
"Embry!" I call after him. He doesn't stop as Quil and I follow him. Quil keeping quiet as I chase after him. "What the fuck are you doing to my brother?"
He ignores me once again as he walks quicker this time. He's getting closer to the woods now, and I'm running now. Trying to get closer to Embry to get some answers.
Why did they drag him out of the cafeteria and into the woods? Why didn't they just bring him to the Principal's office if they were protectors? Were they going to beat him up?
"Embry!" I call once again. "Please?!"
He hasn't entered the woods but he's at the foot at them. "He'll be fine. Sam wants to speak to him, alright? So just leave it, leave him alone?"
Before turning around he eyes up Quil. "I'll see you soon, Quil."
Quil takes a heavy breath as he wraps an arm around me. Embry disappears into the thick forest leaving Quil and I equally confused.
I can't get home quick enough after school. Brady has athletics after school something my fourteen year old brother had surprisingly stuck with after Dad disappeared so I don't have to worry about him. I break a red light as I speed home and I'm surprised I don't get pulled over or killed by oncoming traffic.
I unlock my door so harshly I nearly break my key. I'm not sure what I'm looking for; I have a sinking feeling that Lucas won't be here that the 'talk' with Sam wasn't a quick chat, and something more.
I think maybe I wanted desperately to tell my mother and have her react in some other way then opening another bottle of wine to herself. Like toward the end of the Summer when Lucas got drunk and crashed the family car into some trees in the woods, she paid the council for the mess but that was all. I made sure Lucas went to the AAA meetings and went to the community service, Mom didn't care. She was still a good mom, she was just slowly forgetting we still needed and wanted her.
Even before Dad disappeared I always had the 'mom' job. Mom still cooked and read us bedtimes stories but she wasn't good at punishing us or making us do our homework, she was 'chilled out', like Regina George's mom except instead of a gucci purse, there was a paint brush and a canvas.
My friends always used to tell me how jealous they were of my parents. The way that they didn't care what time I came inside at once I'd told them where I was going and how they didn't punish me but it really always made me anxious. The way that they didn't lock the door at night or kept some money in our mattresses or how they let us sip from their wine glasses or sit around them as they smoked. Lucas and Brady called me a wimp, that I couldn't handle being a grown up.
But I knew even as a ten year old, my parent's weren't grown up. Grown ups didn't let there kids stay out at all hours of the night even on a school night, or grown ups didn't mind telling there kids they did smoke a blunt sometimes. I wasn't surprised that Lucas did drugs or drank alcohol, even though my Dad and Mom were. I was surprised only by Lucas's anger issues - Mom or Dad had never raised their voices whenever one of us did step out of line so much that my Mom and Dad felt like they had to punish up we'd sit at the family table and all speak about how we felt about the topics then we'd come up with a way to sort it out.
This too made me anxious. Why couldn't they just put me on the naughty step? Or take away my toys? Or give me choirs? I hated having to voice my opinions on things that I didn't think was that bad. My mother's idea of an troublesome 'crime' was if we messed with her canvases or we mixed her paints and didn't clean them afterwards and Dad's was even worse. If we even stepped in his 'work' room without permission or him being there we'd be in 'big trouble' but added to this was sometimes Dad's version of silent treatment.
Dad called me his little 'worry-bud' which wasn't a lie. I worried about everything, like if we'd get to school in time because Mom and Dad always over slept or if as a youngster if Mom would remember to make us sandwiches to eat for lunch, I worried so much that like I said I'd taken the Mom role pretty young not that I'd ever admit that to Mom. I doubt she'd care now anyway.
I can hear Mom in the living room when I enter the house. The slow beat of some old sad grunge 90's music fills the house and I can hear low drunk groans. It's the worst mood you can catch my Mom in; the obviously depressed mood where she acts like a teenage drunk for the first time. It's not pretty.
Despite my hesitation, I enter the living room quickly. I take the remote of the radio off the arm chair and turn it off. Mom's groans stop, and from where she lays on the couch without a bottle of wine she looks up at me, her hand wrapped around a infamous bottle of Jameson whiskey, something we only used on Christmas's. Mom's wine 'cellar' obviously ran out.
"What you do that for, Heidi?" She groans loudly.
"Have you seen Lucas at all?"
"Who?" She moans as I rip open the closed curtains, she instantly closes her eyes as I lift up the blind.
"Y0ur eldest son, Mom." I say, flinching as she stands up pulling her vintage kimono night gown over her shoulder pouring some whiskey into her tea cup.
"Nope. Nope. Not at all." She mopes. "What's the little shit done now?"
"He's not a little shit." I feel like I have stand up for him. "Sam Uley is having a little 'chat' with him. A chat that could turn him into a little shit."
Mom turns around toward me with such a look of disgust - and for once I'm actually impressed, does this mean maybe she'll sober up and come down and fish Lucas from Sam Uley's evil grip?
"Sam Uley is a good man." I'm shocked. "Sam Uley was the first man looking out for your Dad, all night! Sam Uley protects this Rez every night from the evil that took your Dad!" Her voice slowly rises from an angry snarl to a loud shout - something I've never heard from her. "If your Dad had listened to Sam Uley maybe he'd be here!"
I stare at her shocked. It's the first time she's made a statement about it with someone else being there. I cocked my head to the side - what did Sam Uley have to do with Dad? Dad's interests were within Billy Black and the council and even my Mom's older sister's husband Harry, Harry had died not long after Dad's disappearance of a heart attack.
If my Dad had been here, I'd say he would have made out it was some supernatural reason why Harry passed - but it wasn't and I found myself having to convince myself daily my Dad's books were fiction as much as he tried to convince me otherwise.
My younger brother Brady believed in every word my Dad said. Only sometimes, my Dad would let one of us trek along with him on is 'business' holidays, I'd went only once. I was thirteen and I'd assumed it was just a quick trip to Rome and maybe to Venice if I was lucky but he'd dragged me to some small town within Tuscany, it would have been okay if he'd at least brought me to Pisa or Florence but he made me stay in the small B&B with some Italian woman who spoke nothing but Italian and broken English and had garlic everywhere. Even worse, her and Dad got on like a house on fire because they both believed in Vampires.
The last holiday he'd brought one of us on, (the rest had been alone) he'd brought Brady. It was back to the small village in Tuscany and it was meant to be for longer than the week he'd brought me, maybe two he'd said but he had never booked return tickets. We didn't get a call for almost a week and two days until my Dad and Brady landed on the doorstep. My Dad had never looked so happy, and without even saying hello he rushed to his office to write his book.
Brady had lived like I had for the short holiday. In a small bedroom with the Italian woman who believed in Vampires.
My Dad's last ever holiday had been to Romania for just a week. Short and sweet, he'd said upon arrival home. He'd brought home three diary entries worth of 'facts', and of course there was no way in heaven he'd let us read them. Even Mom wasn't allowed read his precious diaries.
When the police got involved they had to read them but of course they didn't believe a word of it. It was all about 'vampires' and their 'history' and the families within the world my Dad had created. I didn't blame them, I don't think anyone did. Then Brady stopped believing, and I didn't blame him either. Something in his younger years that had brought him so much joy, had now been ruined forever.
"What does Sam Uley have to do with Dad?" I ask, frowning. I cross my arms quickly and stare at her deeply.
"Nothing!" She attempts to save herself. She can't even make eye contact but I've noticed she's sobered up a bit because she's not crying angry tears, or regretful tears she's just crying. "I'm drunk! Can't you leave me alone?!"
"Do the police know?" I bark. "Do they know about Sam Uley and Dad?"
"No!" She shouts back at me. "No, and you can't tell them. We owe our lives to Sam Uley, Heidi. Our lives."
"Our lives? What the fuck, Mom? Is there some gang land war going on in La Push that Dad got caught up in?"
"No!" Mom shouts again. "Keep your voice down, will you? If the neighbors were to hear.."
"Hear what?" I can't help but want to punch the wall. I clench my fists. "You aren't telling me anything! No one tells me anything in this house!"
"I am not telling you anything, you're right there." Mom's voice is quiet. "Because it isn't your business, Heidi. It's absolutely none of your business."
She starts walking to the door but not before I grab her arm. "He's my Dad. Of course it's my business, what are you talking about?" I yell.
She looks like she's about to explode before she opens the door again, and leave. I can hear the front door opening and her hesitating before she leaves. "I'm going to Sue's."
I can't stop myself now, I let my clenched fist punch the wall as hard as I can.
