Title: Just Enough Time
Rating: T
Summary: Edward and Bella recall the special moments of their relationship.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
Source of Inspiration: "If I Die Young", by The Band Perry
November 7, 2009
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"What's that?" Bella asks.
"The sunrise." I look at the sun rising on the horizon, and I feel a familiar sense of peace.
"I've always loved this spot, you know." Bella smiles and picks up a handful of sand. "This beach has always been the perfect getaway."
"I remember," I recall with a smile. "This is where we had our first date. It wasn't so perfect on that day, though."
Bella lets out a loud laugh and shakes her head. "Yeah, that was kind of bad. I felt so awful for you! Jacob just had to come and ruin everything."
"I can't blame the guy. I'd be pretty messed up if you dumped me, too." I nudge her in the side, causing her to giggle.
"I'm not that special, Edward."
"That's where you're wrong," I tell her softly. "You've always been special. I knew you were different the first day that I met you."
"How?"
"You just...were." I lay back in the sand and try to piece together my thoughts. "Do you remember your first day at school?"
"How could I forget?" She chuckles. "I passed out because of that stupid frog dissection."
"True." I laugh as I think about the memory. "I meant after that, though. In the lunch room? You saw Lauren and Jessica picking on Alice, and you went to sit with her to make her feel better."
"Alice was so nice," Bella replies with a smile. "She was like the sister I never had. I'll never understand why the other girls gave her such a hard time."
"My sister lived in her own little world; she was used to the negative attention."
Bella lays in the sand with me, and laces her fingers through mine. "It doesn't mean that she deserved it, though. How is she, anyway?"
"She's doing fantastic. She just opened up a boutique in Port Angeles."
"I bet it's amazing," she muses. "She was always so talented. I miss her a lot."
"She misses you too," I assure her. "We talk about you all the time. She wishes that you would come see her, too."
"Oh Edward." She sighs. "I barely have the time to come see you anymore."
"I know," I admit. "It's worth it, though. I'll take anything I can get at this point."
We lay in silence for a while before Bella clears her throat and sits up. "What about everyone else? How are Rosalie and Emmett?"
"They're good." I sit up and brush the sand off of Bella's back. "They just found out that Rose is pregnant with a boy. Emmett is already cramming their house full of football gear."
"That doesn't surprise me," she says with a smile. "He's going to be a great father. Rose will be a terrific mother."
"She'd be shocked to hear you say that," I tease her. "You two weren't exactly the best of friends."
"Yeah, yeah." She smiles and hangs her head down. "I loved her, though. I could always count on her to be honest with me."
"You weren't so appreciative of that when she made that comment about your homecoming dress."
"Well, she was right. I just didn't realize it then."
"She wasn't right." I roll my eyes. "You in no way looked like a washed-out frog."
"The dress was pretty freaking green, Edward." She giggles. "That's exactly what I'm talking about! Rose was the only one that was really honest with me."
"I'm honest," I pout. "I just see the real Bella when I look at you; at that time, all Rose saw was what you were wearing."
"That's Rose," she replies as she shrugs. "You either love her, or hate her."
"Mom and Dad really miss you," I tell her. "Mom misses your help at Thanksgiving, that's for sure."
Bella waves her hand. "Your mom is a pro at Thanksgiving dinner. She doesn't need my lame old sweet potato pie."
"Are you kidding?" I practically shriek. "She's been trying to perfect that recipe ever since you left. She hasn't even come close to getting it right, though. It nearly drove her crazy last year."
Bella giggles, causing me to smile. "I miss your laugh," I tell her.
She gives me a sad smile, and looks out at the water. "I miss your smile," she says softly. "Your smile always seemed to melt away any kind of sadness I felt." She pauses. "How's Daddy C?"
I nearly double over in laughter from Bella's use of my dad's nickname. "Emmett would be proud of you," I pant. I straighten up and wipe away the tears that have formed in my eyes. "Dad's doing really well. He, um...he switched specialties, actually."
"Oh?" she asks. "What part of the hospital does he work in now?"
"Trauma," I say simply.
She nods and looks away. "He'll do well there."
"He seems to like it so far. I worry about him, though."
"How come?"
I shake my head and look down. "Do you really have to ask?"
"Well, since I asked...then obviously, I do." She smirks and I can't help but to smile.
"I just think that...he's trying to make up for...past...mistakes," I stammer.
She shakes her head quickly. "He didn't make a mistake, Edward. You can't stop fate, no matter how good of a doctor you are."
I sniffle and struggle to hold back the tears that are threatening my eyes. "Charlie's moving," I inform her. "I saw the For Sale sign in front of the house last week."
"I was wondering when he would do that," she says thoughtfully. "He lasted longer than I thought he would."
"He really tried. I think it's just too much for him."
She takes in a deep breath and nods. She lays back in the sand, and pulls me down with her.
"Edward?" she whispers.
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"Talk to me about our wedding day," she requests. "The details are starting to get a little fuzzy."
"So, you remember everything about your first day of school, but you can't remember our wedding day?" I turn my head and smirk at her.
She slaps my arm playfully, and lays her head on my chest. "Well, it sounds terrible when you put it that way. It helps when you talk about it, though. It jogs my memory."
I smile as I think back to one of the best days of my life. "It was August, and we had just graduated a couple of months earlier."
"It was raining," she cuts in.
"As always," I chuckle. "We couldn't even have sunshine on our wedding day. I remember walking downstairs after getting dressed, and the house was beautiful, for lack of a better word. Alice and Esme had really outdone themselves with the decorations."
"What did it look like?" she murmurs. I look down at her, and see her close her eyes.
"Like it was right out of a magazine. There were fresh-cut flowers everywhere. There was an archway set up in the living room, which is where we had the ceremony..."
"Daisies." A small smile forms on her face as she lets out a breath. "Gerber daisies."
"Yep. Your face always lit up every time you saw one. Alice decided that we needed an entire house-full for the wedding."
"What next?"
"I remember..." I pause, and try to control my breathing. "I remember seeing you walk down the stairs, on your father's arm. You looked so...beautiful, Bella." My eyes begin to fill with tears as I think of my gorgeous bride.
"I remember the smell," she says softly. "The room smelled so sweet." She turns her head to look up at me. "I also remember the look on your face. It was as if we were the only ones in the room." She chuckles. "Of course, I was also trying to concentrate on not tripping."
"I was proud of you," I tease her. "You never stumbled once." She gives me a light punch in the ribs, causing me to laugh. "Hey, you mentioned it."
"You wrote the song, right? The one that played while I walked down the aisle?"
"I did," I reply with a nod. "I wrote it just for that purpose."
"That meant a lot to me," she whispers. "I nearly cried as soon as it started playing."
"I cried while writing it," I admit. "It still makes me cry."
"The vows were my favorite part," she says.
"You remember them?" I ask her.
"Of course," she snorts. "I'm the one that insisted on the traditional vows. What kind of wife would I be if I didn't remember them?"
"True. You were way too shy for us to write our own vows."
"I, Bella, take you, Edward..." she begins.
"To be my wife." I take her hand, and squeeze it tightly. "To have and to hold..."
"For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer..."
"In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish..." A lump begins to form in my throat.
"From this day forward..."
"Until death do us part," we whisper in unison. The tears that had been threatening my eyes all afternoon begin to fall.
"Don't cry," she says softly.
I clear my throat. "I'm not."
"Yes, you are," she asserts. "I'm your wife, Edward. I know your 'crying' voice."
"You know me too well." I chuckle. "It's like you can read my mind or something."
"That's my job." I can hear the smile in her voice. "So, how's my house?"
"Your house? If memory serves me correctly, it's our house."
"Nope." She shakes her head. "Emmett built it for me, remember? He told me himself."
I can't hold back my snort. "Emmett would tell you anything, as long as you had cookies waiting for him at the end of the day."
"He did build it for me," she insists. "Why else would he have designed the library?"
"Good point," I concede. "He sure as hell didn't build it for me."
"Yeah, you don't know the difference between Charles Dickens and Jane Austen." I huff, and she pats my leg. "Sorry, honey, but you know that it's true."
We lay in silence for a while, and I hold onto her tightly. I hate having to let her go. I know the question that she's been waiting to ask, and it should be coming soon.
"How is..." Bella clears her throat. "How's Lizzie?"
A smile spreads across my face. "She's perfect."
"Does she ever, you know...ask about me?"
"All the time."
Bella sits up and pulls her knees to her chest. "How old is she now? Four, right?"
"She just turned five, actually."
"Wonderful," she scoffs. "I can't even remember my own daughter's birthday."
"Don't say that," I groan. I sit up and straddle my legs around her hips. I put my arms around her shoulders, and look at the ocean. "It's a lot to remember, Bella."
"It doesn't make it any easier," she mutters. "What does she look like? I remember...I remember that she had reddish hair. Is it still the same?"
"Oh yeah." I chuckle. "The poor kid got my crazy hair." I tighten my grip around her. "She has your eyes."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Looking at her...is almost like looking at you."
"I bet she's beautiful," Bella whispers.
"She is. She's growing up so fast, though. It feels like she was just born yesterday."
"My memory of that day is clear as a bell." Bella giggles. "I'll never forget that pain. It was unreal!"
"I felt so badly for you," I tell her. "I hated seeing you in so much pain, and not being able to do anything for you."
"You yelled at the nurse; that helped a lot."
"Well, she was a snot," I scoff. "I'm glad that the doctor kicked her out."
"Me too." She pauses for a moment. "She was beautiful. I was in love with her the second they put her into my arms."
"So was I," I whisper. "My beautiful girls." I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek. We continue to sit together, in silence, for what feels like mere minutes before Bella speaks again.
"It's time, Edward," she says solemnly.
The lump in my throat returns. "No," I choke out. "It's too soon."
She moves to stand, but I pull her back down into my arms. "Please don't leave me," I beg into her ear. "Not again."
"I have to go, honey." She looks up at my face, and gives me an apologetic smile. "You know that I can't stay." I allow her to stand this time, and reluctantly let her pull me to my feet. I hang my head down as I attempt to hide my tear-filled eyes.
"When will I see you again?" I hardly recognize my voice; it sounds strained, pitiful, even.
"I don't know, Edward," she replies with a shrug. "It's becoming more difficult to come back."
I nod, and choke back a sob. "I miss you, Bella. Things aren't the same without you here."
"Oh, Edward." She sighs and takes a hold of my hands. "I'm always right here." She pats my chest. "You're never without me."
"I miss holding you. I miss seeing your smiling face in the morning. I miss...I miss hearing you sing to Lizzie at night." My body gives way to my anguish, and I collapse onto the beach. Bella sinks down with me, never letting go of my hands.
"Will you give them messages for me?" I stare at her through my tears, and nod slowly. "I want you to tell Alice how much I miss her craziness," she smiles. "Tell her that I truly hope she finds happiness in everything she does."
"I can do that," I croak. "What else?"
"Tell Rose and Emmett that I'm thrilled for them. Tell Emmett to go easy on the little man; babies don't come out knowing how to throw a football."
I let out a snort, and nod.
Bella frowns. "Tell Carlisle...please tell him to stop blaming himself. There's nothing more that he could have done. If he wants to blame someone, tell him to blame the drunk driver."
My breath hitches, and a fresh round of tears pool in my eyes.
"Tell Esme that my sweet potato pie recipe is hidden in my Nana's cookbook. That way, you all can have a real dessert next Thanksgiving." She giggles, and I can't hold back my smile.
"Tell Lizzie..." She pauses, and takes in a deep breath. "Tell Lizzie how much I love her; how much I miss her. I want her to know that...that I would give anything in the world to see her smile again." She looks out to the ocean, and smiles sadly. "I want her to see the beauty in this world, Edward. Make sure you show her."
"Of course I will," I whisper.
"And now, for you." She turns back to face me, and squeezes my hands tightly. "I want nothing but happiness for you, Edward."
"I am happy," I insist.
She shakes her head. "You're still bitter, Edward. I can see it in your eyes." She continues before I can protest. "You know that it's true. I want..." She stops for a moment, and lets out a sigh. "I want you to move on."
I jump to my feet and shake my head quickly. "No!" I all but shout. "No," I repeat more softly. "No one can replace you, Bella."
"You don't have to replace me," she replies quietly. "I want you to enjoy life, Edward. I want you to love again. You don't have to go through life alone."
"I love you," I tell her. "It's not fair to you, Bella. You didn't get to live your life."
"I had enough time." Her face lights up as she smiles. "I had just enough time. I found the love of my life, got married, had a beautiful daughter...that's more than some people are able to say after eighty years." She looks me in the eyes. "Promise me, Edward. Promise that you won't let my memory hold you back."
"You could never hold me back," I whisper. "Your memory is what keeps me going."
She looks at the ocean one last time, and gives me a sad smile. "I have to go now, Edward."
"I know," I reply softly. She brings me into a tight embrace, and I hold onto her as if my life depends on it. "I love you," I whisper into her ear.
"Always." She pulls away, and places a gentle kiss on my lips. "I don't know when I'll be back, Edward. I swear that I'll try, though." I nod, and she turns to walk away. I watch as her figure fades into the distance.
I put my hand over my mouth, and let my tears finally flow freely. These meetings have decreased in frequency over the years; I have no idea when, or even if, I'll see my Bella again. I walk to the edge of the ocean, and let the cold water wash over my shoes.
"Thought we'd find you here," I hear from behind me.
"Hey Emmett," I say without turning around.
"You, uh...you ready, man? Rose is waiting in the car."
I nod and hang my head. "Where's Lizzie?"
"She's riding with Mom and Dad. They're going to meet us there."
I let out a deep breath. "Alright. Let's do this." I turn around, and walk with Emmett to the car. As we make our way to our destination, I allow my mind to wander back to the day that tore my life into a thousand pieces.
I remember kissing Bella goodbye as she left that morning; she always spent her Fridays volunteering down at the animal shelter. We had made plans to have dinner with my parents that evening.
I remember dropping Lizzie off at daycare on my way to work. I had a job at Emmett's construction business that kept me pretty busy. I was only 20 at the time, but I could hold my own against the older guys.
I remember the phone call. I'll never forget hearing my father's panic-stricken voice on the other end, telling me to get to the hospital immediately. He wouldn't tell me why.
I remember tearing my way through the emergency room, and pushing a nurse out of the way so that I could get to the trauma area.
I remember bursting through the doors, and seeing my father covered in blood. I remember seeing Bella, my Bella, on the bed. My father, who had been filling in for a coworker that day, was frantically yelling out orders to the others in the room.
I remember the dull beep of the monitor when her heart stopped. My father, shaking her shoulders, screaming through his tears for her to wake up. The feeling of the cold floor as I sunk to the ground in shock.
Emmett turns into the cemetery, and I hold my breath as he makes his way to her resting place. We had her buried in the family plot, because that's what she was. She was a treasured member of our family.
We stop at her graveside, and step out of the car. My father is kneeling on the ground, running his fingers reverently along her tombstone. My mother is holding Lizzie, who just turned five years old last week. At least Bella had the chance to celebrate our baby's first birthday.
I feel all eyes on me as I slowly walk to her grave. I kneel at the tombstone beside my father, and he pats my shoulder as he stands. Lizzie runs up to me, and I wrap my arm around her.
"Everyone is sad today," she whispers.
"Well baby, today is a sad day." I hold her to me tightly, and press a kiss to her temple.
"Can I go back to Nana?" she asks me. I nod, and she scurries off to my mother. Tears fill my eyes for what feels like the hundredth time today.
I think back to Bella's funeral. I recall the memory of her in her casket, looking so peaceful. They had done an amazing job of making her look like herself, considering that the wreck had completely crushed her car. I remember the sight of her laying there in her white satin dress. That dress had always been her favorite. I had placed a rose on her chest, and leaned in to give my wife one last kiss.
"Goodbye, my love," I whisper. With one final sigh, I stand and walk back to my family. I pick up my little girl, and we begin the walk back to our cars. Before getting into the backseat, I take one last look at Bella's grave.
Isabella Marie Cullen
September 13, 1985 - November 7, 2005
Beloved wife, mother, and friend.
"Go with peace and love."
