For Camp Potter. Event: Team Scavenger hunt – a collaboration between Sam (MissingMommy) and Laura (Someone aka Me) post here, on our joint account. Mandatory prompt: write about a second chance.
Cabins Lestrange and Lupin.
.
Lily. Your heart completely stops at the sound of her beautiful name coming out of his mouth. It sounds inherently wrong, as though he should not even be allowed to utter her name — he is not worthy of it. Not that you are either.
And then you start to panic, remembering why her name tumbles out of his mouth. It's a death warrant, not that she hasn't survived the others, but this time feels different to you. This is personal.
And it is entirely your fault.
"My lord," you say, bowing as deeply as you can manage. "If I may, it doesn't have to be Li-the Mudblood." You had barely caught yourself from saying her name in from of him, and you can only hope that he did not catch your almost-slip.
He turns toward you, anger evident in his dark eyes. And you know that he caught it. "My, Severus, do you have feelings for this Mudblood?"
You are trained enough that you don't flinch at the hardness in his tone. It's mocking because he knows full well that you care about her. He's always been well informed like that — he has always had informants and you're sure that they had told him about your Hogwarts days.
You shake your head. "Of course not, m'lord." You keep your tone steady, letting the lie slip through your mouth easily.
He studies you for a while, dark eyes trying to decipher you like he does often. "Good," he says, approvingly. "There are much worthier women for a person of your status, anyways."
"Of course, my lord," you whisper automatically, knowing that he wants some sort of indication that you are listening. And you are listening because there's nothing else that you can do.
He nods his head and waves a hand at you dismissively. "I need to prepare things," he tells you.
"As you wish, my lord," you murmur. You straighten, before bowing again. You turn on your heels and exit the room. You feel nausea, disgusted at yourself for calling her that name again. Entering the bathroom, you splash cold water on your face, trying to get rid of the feelings piling up inside you.
You have to do something about this. You can't let her be hurt. You don't think you'd ever forgive yourself if she was.
You know only one person who can truly ensure that she won't be - Dumbledore.
.
You Apparate into a dark alley in Hogsmeade, and cast a Disilliusion spell on yourself. It's a precautionary measure, but you don't want to risk anyone noticing you in Hogsmeade. You make your way quietly to Hogwarts. These meeting with Dumbledore are becoming too familiar for your liking, and you're left wondering how long you can keep this charade up.
When you reach the gargoyles, they jump aside without a password, as they were expecting you. You ride the spiral staircase, and knock on the door. You hear a faint, "Enter," from behind it and push it open.
"Ah, Severus," he says, folding his hands in his lap. He's looking at you over his half-moon spectacles. "I presume that you had a meeting."
You nod your head. "News has arisen about the Longbottoms' child," you say. "But he is still fixated on the Potters."
"I shall have the Longbottoms go into hiding as well because he does not know where the Potters are. He may otherwise choose to go for the easier target," he says. "Is there any other new about his plans?"
"None that he is divulging to us right now. But I'm sure he's planning something," you reply. "I will inform you of any when he gives the orders."
He nods to you, and you rise from your seat. Just before you reach the door, his voice stops you. "You're a hero, Severus."
You turn around to face him. His blue eyes are soft and honest, causing you to shake your head. "I am not. Heroes don't exist, and if they did, I wouldn't be one of them," you tell him. This is just your second chance to make everything – every wrongdoing, every mistake – right. This is to allow you to look into the mirror without being disgusted by what you see – a monster, a murder, a traitor.
You are far from a hero.
