Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It belongs to JKR. I do not own the Dangerverse. It belongs to Whydoyouneedtoknow. I do not own Monty Python. It belongs to...who does Monty Python belong too? Oh well, it isn't me.


Of Words, Shrubbery, and Other Such Things

It started out as a rather calm day. There were only two pranks before noon, the first resulted in Hermione sprouting a pair of cat ears which were nearly hidden by her hair, the second had the Weasley twins singing opera at random intervals, and shedding white feathers every time someone said the word "witch" within hearing distance.

Ginny was pretty sure it was Neenie's revenge for the ears.

The Pride had retreated to one of the upstairs rooms after lunch where they were attempting to stave off the boredom. Eventually the conversation turned to Muggle films, and the Cubs illustrated a couple of their favorites that the others still hadn't seen. Or rather, they illustrated one of their favorites and were partway through second when Hermione suddenly collapsed onto the floor in hysterical laughter.

Ginny's first thought was that someone had hexed her, but a quick scan and scent of the room revealed the rest of the Pride looking just as confused as she felt, and no one else in the area.

Draco scrambled over to his twin and managed to grab her hand. "Neenie! What's wrong, are you okay?"

Neenie nodded her head and managed to gasp a few words out past her laughter. "Say 'ni'…Voldemort…You-Know-Who!" Then she went off into renewed gales.

Ginny exchanged confused glances with everyone else, except Draco, who seemed to have gotten more out of what his twin had said than they had, and had sat down next to her on the rug quite abruptly.

Harry was frowning. "Hermione! What is so funny!"

It was Draco who answered. Slowly and deliberately, as if he was mere seconds away from cracking up.

"You know the Knights who say 'Ni'?"

Everyone nodded.

"Maybe we should try giving Voldemort a shrubbery."

Six minutes later Moony showed up at the door to see what all the noise was about.

XxXxXxXx

"My lord. This package just arrived."

Voldemort glanced up from his dinner (Yes, he actually did eat, contrary to popular belief.) and gave the Random Death Eater a glance.

"Is it from Snape?"

"No, my lord. I do not know who it is from." The death eater…Wilkins, that was his name, placed a large box, not very tall, but wide, on the floor.

Voldemort waved him out and ignored the way the Pathetic Life Form scurried away. He was too fixated on the box. Several diagnostic charms revealed that there were no curses or such attached to it, so he opened it, only to stare at what he saw.

It seemed to be a small garden. A kind of ivy ground cover with some sort of small pink flower scattered throughout. On second glance, the flowers actually spelled a word.

IT

The dark lord just stared for a few moments, before noticing a folded parchment in one corner of the box. It proved to be a note.

"Dear Tom,

Here is a shrubbery. Maybe now your life as Dork Lord will gain new meaning.

May the theater gods give you good luck always,

The Pride."

It was a very odd day to be sure.


A/N: This is my first posted fanfiction. It is a little rough around the edges (to say the least) and constructive criticism is more than welcome. This is not going to be a multi-chapter fic, it is listed as incomplete so that I may edit with ease and at will.

Full credit goes to Whydoyouneedtoknow for her amazing Dangerverse, as well as heartfelt thanks for letting me play in her sandbox, and for convincing me to watch Monty Python through her various references.