Prologue

I can't believe Ted doesn't want to be my wingman anymore; he was perfect, thought Barney Stinson. I guess I'd better look for a new one, but will there ever be a better one.

"Barney, are you coming back to bed?" Asked the woman Barney had picked up at the bar, just hours before.

"Yeah, just a minute!" Barney yelled a little too harshly towards his bedroom. Forget Ted, he's the worst wingman ever, now he's keeping me from sleeping with girls, he thought guiltily as he got up and returned to bed.

The next morning Barney quietly snuck out of his apartment, making sure not to wake up the fast asleep girl. When he got to the taxi he realized that he had forgotten his laptop, just as he debated going back to get it he heard something come crashing to the ground beside him.

"Barney you pig! Get up here right now, we need to talk!" screamed a very angry half-dressed girl from the window.

As Barney opened the door of the cab and went to get in it, he heard one of his least favourite things come from the window.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me!"

Barney got in the cab as fast as he could and shouted, "DRIVE!"

Ted Mosby awoke to a pounding at his door. He slowly got out of bed and walked towards the door. Flinging the door open he angrily muttered, "What do you want Barney?"

"Don't worry Ted, I'm not here to bother you, I just need to use your computer. I forgot my laptop at my apartment, and well . . . there's a crazy woman in there," Barney replied quickly, afraid that Ted would close the door in his face.

"You really don't understand the term 'leave me alone,' do you?" Ted reacted, just beginning to wake up.

"Actually that's why I need the computer; I'm putting up an entry form for my new wingman on my blog," Barney replied arrogantly.

"Wait, do you actually think that will work?" Ted started, holding back laughs, "It's not like anyone actually reads your blog. Even if they did, why would anyone compete to be your wingman? Make sure to mention that you'll steal their ex, try and make them suit up, and waste their time making them play laser tag."

"So does that mean that I can use the computer then if you're giving me tips on how to advertise my awesomeness?" Barney asked in a bragging voice.

"Whatever, as long as you just leave me alone. Besides I wouldn't want to keep you from finding the perfect man," Ted replied. "I'm going to go meet Marshall and Lily for brunch; they're setting me up with an old friend. Whatever you do, just don't break the computer."

"You know what, laugh all you want. But when I do find the perfect man well, we'll see who's laughing then!" Barney declared, pointing his finger to the air for dramatic effect.

"I'm pretty sure that it will still be me, but whatever. I'm out!" With that he slammed the door in Barney's face as he left for brunch; little did he know that he wouldn't be meeting up with anyone new at brunch today.

A/N: Criminal Minds characters will be introduced in the next chapter.