Disclaimer: Star Fox is not mine. It and its characters, setting, etc. are all owned by Nintendo.
AN: I would like to start off by saying I fully endorse anyone who wants to write Panther x Krystal fanfics, and I admit to the possibility that Panther x Krystal may have happened in canon. This is simply a more humorous take on my personal headcanon and why I think Panther x Krystal might not have happened. Ultimately, it's up to you what you want your headcanon or fanfiction to be, and if you want it to include Panther x Krystal, or not include Panther x Krystal, it's up to you.
All this fanfic does, is show my headcanon with evidence to show why my headcanon is just as valid as those of people who think Panther and Krystal did get together. That's all. It's not some big insult, it's not meant to bash authors who write PantherxKrystal, it's just meant to show my headcanon and why I think it's just as valid as anyone else's.
And for those who do think Panther and Krystal got together, we're all here to have fun and write about a video game series. Not have deep discussions over the meaning of life. So relax.
(Takes place in Fox and Krystal ending)
As four starfighters land in the Great Fox, the hatches of the vehicles open up, revealing the pilots within. Bursting with excitement, Slippy jumps from his cockpit, loudly proclaiming "We did it!" at the top of his lungs, only to slip and fall off the ladder and land face first on the ground.
The other three pilots simply ignore this unfortunate failing, more than used to their friends clumsiness over the years. They had even placed cushions around where he always landed his Arwing just to reduce the chance of injury.
"Yeah, that wasn't so tough. Buncha no-good pilots!" Falco says haughtily as he slides down the ladder to the ground.
"It was thanks to you guys that we pulled through!" Fox says with a relieved smile as he congratulated his teammates.
Looking at Fox with hopeful eyes from his position on the ground "This is the best team I've ever been a part of, Fox!"
Turning to Krystal, "You too, right? ...Right?"
"Um…" Fox said unsurely. Sure, Krystal had helped them defeat the Anglars, but there was never any confirmation from her that she was coming back to the team. The suspense was killing him. He'd openly begged her on Titania, pleaded with her to forgive him, but although she'd come with them this far, she'd never said yes. The thought of leaving again, of having to watch her take her Cloud Runner and leave for who knows where was killing him. He had to win her back. He had to show her he still loved her.
"…Yes?" Krystal said, after a few moments that seemed like hours to Fox.
"Krystal…" Fox said, looking right at her.
"What?"
"We wouldn't have pulled this off without you. ...Thank you."
"Whatever." She replied looking away from him. The sight was too painful. Fox had been everything to her since the moment she first met him. He was her hero, her best friend, her lover, and the man who she someday wanted to marry. But, it wasn't meant to be. The day Fox fired her he made it very clear he didn't want her anywhere near him. The danger was too great. Too many people had died he said, he couldn't bear to watch her die. Even if it meant breaking both their hearts.
"Yeah, thanks. You've got serious skills, you know that?" Falco said as he walked over to the vulpines with his arms crossed and a haughty smirk still on his beak.
"Yaaaaaaaaay Krystal!" Slippy said rushing over and giving his wayward teammate one of the biggest hugs she'd ever received.
"I…I…" Krystal stuttered as she awkwardly patted Slippy on the head until he was satisfied and had let go.
"Krystal, please find a way to forgive me! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Fox dropped to his knees, his head hitting the ground so hard it reverberated throughout the hangar. But he didn't care, all he cared about was earning the forgiveness of the love of his life. Nothing else mattered, not Falco, not Slippy, not even the Great Fox. Only her. His blue angel.
"Forgive you? Forgive you?! That's funny. I mean, that is simply hilarious. You treat me like dirt and I just forgive you? Is that it?" Despite her tone Krystal can't help but let tears fall from her eyes. "Jerk…"
"So... you won't come back to the team?" Fox asked, raising his head to look at her.
"C'mon, Krystal! You gotta come back!" Slippy pleaded, looking up at her with his big puppy frog eyes.
"Yeah, don't worry abut this furry idiot. Just get your tail back here."
"We'll always be together. I promise." Fox said finally standing.
"Ah, F-Fox, you... I... sniff... ...I'm an idiot. I can't believe I'm actually going to do it… Falco? Slippy? Thank you."
"Yay! This is AWESOME! The Anglars are history, and Krystal is back with the team! Now we just have to file our report with Peppy! We should go find him!"
"Don't pretend, frog. You just want to go see your new squeeze!" Falco said as he sneered down at his shorter teammate.
"Tee hee hee! You've discovered my ruse!"
"Ruse or no, we're plotting a course for Aquas." Fox said finally standing up and walking towards Krystal.
"Great Fox prepped and ready for launch." R.O.B. said in his monotonous voice.
"Let's go!" Fox said, having wrapped one arm around Krystal, he defiantly points his arm outward, finger extended in the direction of where Aquas lay.
Suddenly, R.O.B. appeared, claiming there was an incoming transmission.
"Well, turn it on ya bucket of bolts." Falco said.
"Oi, Falco cool it, R.O.B.s just as much a member of Star Fox as you. Play the message R.O.B." Fox said after sternly rebuking Falco, who just crossed his arms and huffed.
Suddenly, a large blue, feline head appeared in front of the team.
"Panther misses his rose, when will she come back."
Krystal, realizing this is a fight she can't avoid disentangles herself from Fox's arm and steps towards the communicator with her arms crossed and a neutral expression on her face.
"I'm not coming back Panther. Fox and I are back together. Goodbye to you and good riddance."
The smile that spread across Fox's space was so wide it practically split his face in two. Conversely, as if by some sort of strange magic, Panther's face had a look of utmost shock and horror. He couldn't believe that this was the same Krystal who had once been his sweet and delicate rose.
"But Krystal, what about our relationship," cries Panther.
Krystal stares at Panther and incredulously asks, "What relationship?"
"Just look at this recording of our conversations on Katina," Panther cries in a last ditch attempt to convince Krystal that they're in love.
Krystal: Save it, loser! I don't need your help!
Fox: ...Krystal?
Panther: Ha ha ha! Never get cover from a Fox... when you can run to a Panther! Grawl!
Fox: Panther!
Krystal: You knew, didn't you, Fox?
Krystal: You should go home now!
and
Panther: Krystal! Take care, my darling space rose!
Krystal: Um... yeah. I'll do that.
and
Panther: Krystal, my sweet. Are you well? Panther was worried!
Krystal: I'm fine, Panther. Thanks.
and
Panther: Krystal, don't let this rogue change your mind! Let's get out of here!
Fox: ...I'm... sorry...
Krystal: What was that? I couldn't quite hear you.
Fox: I'm sorry, Krystal! I'm so sorry!
Leon: Oh, I'm so sorry! Boo hoo! Whhhhkkkksssshhhh! Whhhhkkkksssshhhh!
Fox: ...I'm truly sorry. Please... Please come with me. I need you with me.
Krystal: ...
Panther: This is absurd! Krystal, tell this loser where to stuff his Arwing and let's go!
Krystal: ...
"How is this dialogue much different than the ones we had in Assault?" Krystal replies.
"You're still just flirting with someone who never responds beyond saying I'm fine. I never use any terms of endearment back, now do I. Flirting with someone who doesn't respond is not okay. Seriously, we only just finished fighting each other in Assault before you started trying to get in my pants. Also, just look at that line where I use …. How can you read that as anything but someone uncomfortable with another's flirting? You're even worse than those pigs who made me wear that tribal outfit on Sauria, I mean come on, I can drive an interstellar spaceship, but I can't even wear a shirt!"
"But the pilot gallery says I often fall in love and am faithful when I do."
"So, that doesn't mean I have to return your feelings. Stalkers fall in love too, that doesn't mean it's healthy or reciprocal."
"But I have a great and charming personality." Claims Panther with confidence.
Krystal just looks at him, takes out the Star Fox Assault Manual and reads from Panther's entry on pg. 39, "Panther's a flirt and incredibly indulgent with females. His conceit is so great that those around him are embarrassed."
"Wait a minute, there's a manual about us?!" the rest of team Star Fox cried in shock.
"You also have a bounty in Command that's twice Leon's. You know, the guy who said 'He he! I think I'll torment you a bit before I cook you!' when he faced us in Assault. Not to mention Leon's history of having once worked as part of an elite squadron for Andross, the man who unleashed bioweapons throughout the system and is outright stated to have enslaved the miners on Macbeth, making him and his officers war criminals. With all Leon's done, and his psychopathic personality, how can you be anything but a scumbag when you have a bounty even higher than his?"
"What about how I helped you out during the Aparoid war?"
"You only helped out because you were following Wolf's lead and you both knew what would happen if you didn't help stop the Aparoids. It was nothing more than self-preservation. Besides, as a member of Star Wolf you're used to risking your life. So what's the big deal if you decide to risk your life to save yourself? Besides, there are plenty of times good guys and bad guys team up, doesn't mean the bad guys are suddenly turning over a new leaf. In fact, you and the rest of Star Wolf actually attacked Fox on Fichina just recently for no other reason than to fight. Wolf literally said 'Bah! Arguing makes me cranky. Let's fight!' So I doubt you and the rest of them have really changed as much as people claim. In fact, in another path, "Dash Makes A Choice, you actually try to deny you even lost to Fox. How arrogant do you have to be to say 'Actually, Panther did not lose. He merely grew bored' when you get beaten by your rival?"
"Not to mention, the only real confirmation about our relationship comes during 'The Anglar Emperor' and 'Star Wolf Returns' paths, and even then the transmission Falco refers to during the default path involves the following quote, found via playing as Falco in the 'Anglar Emperor' and 'Pigma's Revenge' paths".
Panther: She is a delicate, fragile creature! We cannot just plunge into danger!
Krystal: Stuff it, Panther. Wolf, fly where you want. I just want to get going.
"Wait a minute, how do you know what happens in other timelines? I thought you were just telepathic." Fox asks in bewilderment.
"The game only says I have extrasensory perception, not that it's my only power." Krystal says, not looking away from the current subject of her ire.
"Now back to you. The 'Anglar Emperor' path only says I go back to you in the English version of the game, in the Japanese version I just say I'm going back to Star Wolf. And even the dialogue during the 'Star Wolf Returns' Ending can be taken in different ways. Heck, the only indication I give in 'Star Wolf Returns' is when I say I no longer have feelings for Fox and you're my chosen now. That doesn't mean we had a relationship, just that I choose you over Fox. We could be starting a relationship for all anyone knows. And considering how I leave you behind after everyone boos me out of Lylat, I sincerely doubt that version of me had a very good relationship, if any, with you!" Yelled Krystal. "And don't forget, the only source of information we have of a relationship between you and I in 'Dash Makes a Choice' is Wolf calling me your flame, not that the relationship was mutual. I mean come on. Since when do people forget that women have just as much say in relationships. Besides, Wolf's an asshole who led a major criminal syndicate in Assault, a criminal syndicate that Fox helped take down. Not to mention he's been fighting with Fox ever since the Lylat War. Why hasn't anyone considered he was just saying things to hurt Fox?"
"Plus, if we were in a relationship, why would I go back to Fox so quickly. After the way he treated me, firing me, dumping me, and evicting me, do you really think I'd go back to him if I already had a boyfriend?"
"Speaking of…" Krystal turned to Fox. "There are going to be changes if you want me back. Starting with being a little less selfish in the bedroom and picking up after yourself and actually speaking to me when coming in the door from work instead of sitting on the couch drinking beer and watching TV and we're damn sure having more than one kid because according to the Adventures' manual I'm the last bloody Cerinian and I need to repopulate my race!" Krystal yelled at the top of her lungs, breathing heavily after her nonstop tirade.
Fox kissed her, laughing all the way, "yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes." And with that, the two Foxes left, for a life of adventure, love, and lots, and lots of kids.
AN: Sorry for the crap ending. I didn't know what else to say. Personally, this a bit sillier than my actual headcanon about Panther which I'm too lazy to write out. I think of him as someone too principled and arrogant to think he needs to exploit or attack Krystal, but not principled enough to stop pursuing her when she's clearly uninterested, and unlike many authors, I think Panther can pour water out of a boot. I'd love to read a fanfic like that, but like I said, I'm just too lazy.
The dialogue from Star Fox Command above is supplied via the Star Fox Command All The Words Website.
The assumption that Andross unleashing bioweapons makes him and his officers war criminals comes from real life laws in regards to using chemical weapons. I'm assuming that a setting like Lylat probably has something similar in regards to bioweapons. As per the enslavement of Macbeth's population, that comes from Arwingpedia.
This is my first fanfic, so I'd love to hear your thoughts. If there's a problem feel free to tell me and I'll see what I can do. But flamers be warned, I have a toy poodle and I'm not afraid to use her.
