Ok, so I recently got into the Hetalia fandom, so obviously, this is my first Hetalia fanfiction. I really like Canada and Lithuania. There's so much angsty potential. And this crossed my mind. So please, be gentle.
This is a high school AU, and it contains mentions of cutting. Human names are used.
The title is a play on 'scars' and 'star-crossed'.
Also, I have added new information regarding this oneshot. Details are at the bottom (no changes were made to the actual story).
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
Scar-crossed
Matthew awoke with a start. The alarm was blaring, signalling that it was time for him to get ready for school.
'I don't remember falling asleep,' he thought. He glanced at his arm, which was covered in criss-crossing red lines. A few of them had hardened blood around them, implying that they were fresh. 'I must have passed out again.'
He was still wearing the clothes he wore the previous day. It happened every now and again when he cut himself. He would cut too deep and pass out from the pain, or the dizziness. But his blood would clot too fast for him to bleed to death.
He sighed. Another day of being invisible. Another day of not existing. He kept hoping that, just once, he could feel that he was not alone.
…
Toris carefully rolled down his sleeve so as not to aggravate the fresh wounds. It wouldn't do if he started to bleed just because he wasn't careful. His parents would get suspicious if they found bloodstains on his clothes.
Of course, they knew about the bullying. They knew about Ivan Braginski and his younger sister. But he wouldn't let them know that he was harming himself as well.
Ivan Braginski was the biggest bully in the school. And Toris was his favourite victim. Nowhere is safe for Toris once Ivan decided to let off some steam. And unfortunately, the only person Ivan was afraid of, his younger sister, hated Toris as well and would also let out her frustrations on the poor boy.
If it wasn't the physical abuse that got him down, then it was the mental abuse. He didn't know which one was worse, but he knew that he couldn't take much more.
If only his friends hadn't abandoned him. If only he wasn't alone to deal with all of this.
…
Matthew sighed as he sat down. His teacher wasn't there yet, and naturally the class was loud. And it was exactly that which made him truly feel lonely.
Surrounded by people is the loneliest place one could be.
If he was on his own, then he didn't feel half as lonely as he did when he was in a crowd. When he's alone, he wasn't reminded of the fact that he was constantly ignored, that in everyone's eyes, he was invisible. That he was alone because no one else was there. But when he was in a crowd, he was reminded of the fact that no one acknowledged his existence. That no one wanted him.
He looked over towards his twin brother, always surrounded by people. When they were younger, their parents divorced, and Matthew lived with their mother, while Alfred lived with their father. Matthew was well aware of the divorce, but he wondered if Alfred knew. After all, it happened when they were too young to remember. Matthew often wondered if Alfred even knew he had a twin, let alone that they were in the same class.
The class suddenly grew silent, and Matthew turned his attention to the door. It wasn't their teacher, but one of his classmates. Vash Zwingli. One of the most terrifying kids in the entire school. No one messed with him, but no one tried to befriend him either. They were too scared to. It was a well-known fact that his father was a former mercenary and that he taught Vash to handle guns. But that was not what caused most people to fear him.
It was the fact that Vash didn't like people. He was extremely aggressive and didn't like it if people tried to get close to him. He perceived everyone as a threat, but he stayed out of anything that didn't involve him or his younger sister. That made him truly terrifying.
He was completely neutral.
Everyone was nervous until he sat down close to Matthew. Matthew merely shrugged and pulled out a sketchbook. An advantage about being invisible was that people rarely caused trouble with him. If anyone did notice him, however, it was because they mistook him for being Alfred. And only when they wanted to get back at him because of something he did.
As far as Matthew knew, Alfred was wary around Vash, which meant that he wouldn't be angering the Swiss. Which meant that the Swiss wouldn't take it out on Matthew. So, Matthew had nothing to fear from Vash, which was a relief.
…
Toris sighed as he took notes. Ivan had managed to get to him before school started, which meant that his wrist was sore. It didn't help that the Russian pressed against a few scars. But it made it harder to take notes.
He just wanted to know what caused the larger boy to hate him so. What caused the Russian to attack him every chance he got.
He felt a pair of eyes on him, but he shrugged it off. Neither Braginski was in his class, so it couldn't be one of them. And he didn't know anyone else that would pay him any attention. It was most likely his imagination.
…
Matthew was sitting alone on the bleachers. It was lunch, and he hated being in the cafeteria at this time. Once again, he would be all alone.
He rolled up his sleeve, watching the red stand out against his pale skin. He normally wouldn't do this where people could see him. But there was no one around. And even if there was someone, he thought bitterly, they wouldn't even notice him, let alone the scars.
He didn't have a blade with him. He didn't even have a pair of scissors with him. All he had were his fingernails, and only to reopen the old wounds, not create new ones.
He heard something that sounded oddly like footsteps approaching and quickly rolled up his sleeve. Normally, everyone would be in the cafeteria getting lunch, or just socialising with each other. This wasn't the first time Matthew sat on the bleachers. But it would be the first time that someone else would sit there with him.
Soon enough, a boy with brown hair came into view, sitting somewhere near Matthew, but seemingly not seeing Matthew. The Canadian sighed, used to that.
Looking closer, Matthew realised that it was his Lithuanian classmate. Come to think of it, he wasn't very social either, and seemed to avoid people. He looked nervous most of the time, and if too much attention was placed on him, Matthew often noticed the brunette start to tremble.
What was his name again? Oh, right. Toris Laurinaitis.
The Lithuanian sighed and rolled up his sleeve, rubbing the wrist tenderly. What Matthew saw made his eyes widen.
Toris's arm was identical to his own.
"Bad day?" Matthew asked.
To his surprise, the other boy jumped in surprise and whipped his head towards him. He looked startled, and Matthew couldn't blame him.
"A-Alfred?" Toris asked, looking scared.
Matthew smiled sadly, expecting something like this.
"Actually, my name is Matthew."
The other boy looked confused, and Matthew sighed.
"Alfred is my twin brother," he explained, "but our parents got divorced when we were young. We were separated, and our parents didn't exactly keep in touch. Actually, I don't even think Alfred knows I exist."
"But," Toris said, "he must have noticed the resemblance, right?"
Matthew sadly shook his head.
"That's the thing," Matthew said. "He doesn't notice. No one does."
Toris frowned and looked back to his arm.
"I suppose you're going to start lecturing me about hurting myself," he said bitterly.
"I'm not one to judge," Matthew said. "I'd be a hypocrite if I did that."
Toris looked at him, confusion written on his face. Matthew sighed and rolled up his own sleeve. Toris's eyes widened when he saw the scars.
"You too?" he whispered.
"Yeah," Matthew sighed. "When you're lonely, and you feel invisible, you do this. To feel pain. To assure yourself that you're still there."
Toris smiled sadly.
"In my case," he said, "if everyone wants to hurt me, then I guess I need to do it too. The pain I cause myself helps to numb the pain that other people cause."
"Who's hurting you?" Matthew asked.
"Ivan."
"I see."
They sat in silence for a moment. For once, they both felt that they had someone they could talk to. Someone that saw through the façade, or someone that merely saw them.
What they didn't realise was that someone else was seeing them clearly.
…
Vash narrowed his eyes as he listened to his two classmates. He liked to sit under the bleachers, where no one would be able to find him. He would sometimes notice that Matthew would sit there as well, but because of his hiding place, the Canadian was unaware of this fact.
He heard the conversation, and he heard them rolling their sleeves. That explained why the two of them always wore long-sleeved clothes. He was smart enough to know what they had been doing to themselves.
Normally, he would stay out of things like this. But he felt responsible. He preferred to be an outsider, because that way, you could easily learn anything about anyone. His father also taught him well. He knew that the Canadian was often ignored, but when he was noticed, it was because of mistaken identity and he always suffered because of it. As for the Lithuanian, he was well aware of the bullying, but he preferred to stay out of anyone's business.
He only saw the surface, however, and for the first time, he could see within. And what he saw, or rather heard, chilled him. He knew that to resort to self-harm, a person had to be depressed. He lost a cousin because of depression. To think that two of his classmates were depressed enough to hurt themselves…
How long would it be before they took it farther?
He knew that the best way to handle things was if they realised that they weren't alone. That someone cared enough. But he knew that something like that couldn't be forced. He knew that the other two had remained friendless for a long time, just like him. And he knew that, if he suddenly tried to befriend them, it would seem suspicious. He was well aware of the fact that he was one of the most feared people in school.
That's it! The three of them had one more class together. History. If he managed to convince the teacher to do what he wanted her to do, then everything would be settled.
It was a good thing that he decided to check through the curriculum control. He knew all the projects beforehand, and could plan accordingly.
Quietly sneaking out so that the two on the bleachers didn't notice, he went to set his plan into motion. But he had to see a few people first.
…
Toris sat down at his seat with a sigh. It was history, the last class of the day. He had avoided Ivan for the most part, but knew that the larger boy would be waiting for him as soon as school ended.
He looked to his left, where he noticed, for the first time, that Matthew was sitting there. He felt guilty, and Matthew seemed to notice, because he gave a small, sad smile.
Toris felt a chill go down his spine, and he turned around. He had forgotten that a certain Swiss boy sat behind him. What caused the chill, however, was that Vash was looking intently at him, almost analysing him.
Toris swallowed nervously and turned back to the front. He had enough problems with Ivan and Natalya. He didn't want any trouble with Vash as well.
When the teacher came in, he noticed that she seemed to be a little nervous. She looked over towards his direction, but knew that she wasn't looking at him. She was looking at the boy sitting behind him.
"May I please have your attentions?" she called, silencing the class and gaining all of their attentions. "There's a project due in three weeks' time. This project is about every war that took place in the twentieth century, including, but not limited, to the two World Wars. And, due to the large volume of the work, you will be working in groups of three."
Toris and Matthew shared a glance. They might work together, but no one would want to work with them as a third member.
"I'll be assigning the groups."
There was a collective groan and various protests coming from all of them. Toris and Matthew shared another glance, a sad look in their eyes.
The teacher proceeded to list off the names, and everyone listened. They didn't mind the groups too much, and Toris was listening intently, wondering who he would be stuck with. Who would be his temporary tormentors.
"Toris Laurinaitis," the teacher said, and Toris was alert. "Matthew Williams," the two shared a glance smiling slightly. "And Vash Zwingli."
Their eyes widened and they looked nervously towards the Swiss boy. He looked intently at the teacher, a small smirk on his face. The two swallowed nervously.
Toris could feel several pairs of eyes on him, and he started to tremble. He didn't like it if there was too much attention focussed on him. But he knew that, this time, it was out of sympathy.
Vash Zwingli was not a team player.
…
After class, Matthew and Toris came together, nervous looks on their faces.
"A group project," Matthew whispered.
"We're lucky that we're in the same group," Toris said, smiling softly.
"Yeah, but we're also on the same group with Vash. You heard about what he did to the last people on his group."
They both winced at that. Yes, everyone heard about the last group project Vash Zwingli was involved in. The Austrian boy still hadn't recovered from it.
"Hey."
The two jumped and turned around. There was Vash, looking at them intently.
"Is there something you wanted?" Toris asked, starting to tremble.
Vash looked at them for a moment and sighed.
"Meet me in the library in about ten minutes," he said. "We can see what we need to research and then we can go to my house to get started."
The two nodded, and watched as Vash disappeared, presumably to his locker. They shared a glance, not exactly expecting the Swiss to be so… civil towards them.
…
Vash closed his locker and turned around. There were seven people standing behind him. The only one that wasn't blond was the Hungarian girl, who had soft brown hair. Although, Emil also had light hair, almost white.
"You wanted to see us?" Berwald asked.
Vash nodded.
"I need you to look out for two kids for me," he said. "One of them happens to be the punching bag of Ivan Braginski."
"I see," Toni said. "So, that's why you wanted to see us."
"Any particular reason?" Lukas asked.
"Let's just say, their circumstance hits a little close to home," Vash said, looking at Emil's arms when he did that.
The others noticed and nodded their heads.
"So, who are they?" Matthias asked.
…
Toris winced. As he expected, Ivan was waiting for him. The grip on his shoulder tightened as Ivan smirked.
"Too bad your friends left you a long time ago," Ivan said. "Guess you're all alone."
Toris saw Matthew trying to pry Ivan's arm away, but the Russian didn't seem to notice him. Toris began to understand what Matthew meant about being invisible.
"Braginski."
They all froze when they heard the voice. Ivan turned around to reveal an angry looking Vash Zwingli.
"Is there something you want?" Ivan asked, smiling sweetly.
Vash's eyes narrowed.
"I would like my history partner to be in one piece for the next three weeks," he said. "So, in case you don't get it, here's a warning. If I catch you trying to hurt him again, then I will use you for target practice."
Ivan's eyes narrowed before releasing the Lithuanian. Everyone knew that Vash spent his weekends at the gunners' club. Everyone knew that it wasn't an empty threat. Vash Zwingli didn't do empty threats.
"Three weeks," Ivan said, throwing one last look at Toris.
He didn't notice Matthew let go of his arm, since he didn't notice Matthew in the first place. The three watched as he stomped away.
"Thanks," Toris sighed. "Why'd you help me, though?"
Vash didn't answer, and started to walk away. When he noticed that the other two weren't following, he turned around to face them.
"Aren't you coming?" he asked. "We still have a project to start."
Toris and Matthew shared a glance and proceeded to follow the Swiss. Neither of them noticed the small smile that played on his lips.
…
It was less suspicious if they were forced to spend time together due to academic obligation. That was exactly how Vash planned it. He simply convinced the teacher to assign the project a few weeks ahead of schedule, and requested that the three of them be placed in the same group. Their history teacher was one of the few people that knew that Vash Zwingli didn't do something without a purpose.
He wouldn't let either of them know that he knew about the scars. He knew about their pain. That would only back them into a corner, make them feel trapped. No, the best course of action was to show friendship as though it was natural. If either of them feel that he was being friendly out of guilt or pity, then that would only make them feel worse.
It was less suspicious if they bonded through a project. During this time, Toris wouldn't need to worry about Ivan, so he didn't need to feel his abuse. And Matthew would feel included, that he wasn't ignored.
None of his previous group projects worked out because the other members tried to force their friendship on him. He didn't like it if people tried to do that. But this time, he was the one that would be doing the befriending, and he would never let them know that it was all according to plan.
As for the other seven. They would be able to intimidate Ivan enough to keep him away from Toris if Vash was unable. It was relatively easy to convince them.
Elizabeta was naturally a kind person, but it was hidden under her temper and tomboyish attitude.
Lars used to be the friend of Vash's cousin, before he committed suicide.
Vash caught Emil cutting, and managed to get his older brother to realise what was happening. Emil was later included into Lukas's group, and they still owed him a favour.
And they all knew the circumstances of the two that had gained Vash's attention. They were willing to help. They might be intimidating, but they weren't cruel. No one really got to know them, so they didn't know that they could be quite nice, if they wanted to. Only Vash knew.
Sometimes, being neutral had its benefits. He could see so much more than most others. And he could see that the two boys only needed friends.
He could do that. He could show them that they weren't alone. And maybe, just maybe, he could heal their scars and limit the number of new scars.
Okay, this was written to be a oneshot, but I noticed that there were quite a few that decided to follow. I also received a review asking why it says 'complete' if it's written in a way that suggests that it could be a multi-chapter. I felt that leaving it here was appropriate, given the unpredictability of the nature of the subject. But I am open to the idea of making a separate fic that would be a continuation of this one. But, I want to know whether or not you guys would want it. So I have created a poll, which is available on my profile, and for the next three months you can choose whether or not I continue it. If I continue it, then the name would be 'Written in the Scars'.
