Disclaimer: I don't own KKJ FOREVERRRRR!!!
A/N : I write another KKJ and I would like to write the short one either. I hope..This is mostly Access's POV! I love him so muuuuuccchhh!! He has a strong belief on someone. He is also cheerful most KKJ story. I think.
Rose of Christmas Wreath
By Irisgem
The heaps of white snow fell slowly, veiled the road and surface of Earth. This blessing from Kami-sama was so pretty, still so cold. It was like her. Her turquoise glassy eyes drowned me to the wide ocean of winter. The gentle wind ruffled her emerald hair gleefully. The tangled hair in front of her face was so fascinating that made me fell in love to her even more.
It was almost the day of White Christmas, the day of birth of Jesus. It was a holiday with love for your beloved one, either your family or your friends. I had delivered my postcard for Natsuki-chan, though it wasn't important. She lived neighborhood with me. But I just wanted to give her as a surprise.
With a purple umbrella, my favorite color, was grabbed in my left hand, I stood up patiently in front of a big gate school. This raining snow made my hand cold whether I was using my gloves made by soft wool. I was waiting for her to come out from her class, just like we always did. Today I had my lessons over earlier than her, so I stood here for her. We didn't walk together (Though I would prefer to walk with her alone).
The keen wind blow cruelly, playing my amethyst long waist hair. I was staring the white blanket of this season when I heard an angelic sweet voice called out my name.
" Shinji-chan! Gomen! My teacher delayed our time to go out! "
She clapped her hand in front of her face, asking for pardon. I smiled gently, when two other young teens came toward us. Still I could see a red tint on her cheek.
" Don't mind it. They ware also late either. " My hand raised and beckoned for them. They panted heavily and let some misty air out of their breath.
" This cold weather makes me hard to run and tires me easily. " Toki grumbled half-heartedly. Celcia didn't talk anything. She tried to catch up her breath. Natsuki lowered her head and talked to them.
" Are you both okay? "
Toki didn't wait another second to take his opportunity. I hated when he did that. He grabbed Natsuki's hands into his and talked sweet and bla bla bla. I didn't stay there while my princess was taken. I put my hand between them and took Natsuki from him.
" Come on, we should go home now. "
Natsuki got confused while Celcia giggled with my act and grumbling Toki. We enjoyed this walk together by talking and gossiping. Sometimes the girls stopped to see the shop case during the way home.
" Shinji-chan, what would you have for Christmas? " Natsuki's voice surprised me so much as I was looking the snow and livid sky up there. I missed the feeling to fly, but I was also happy to be human. In this form, then I could be at Natsuki's side and protect her. I had promised to myself. This time I would protect her no matter what. I turned my face to her and looked at her.
" Well, Father has a work that he couldn't leave behind. I thought I would enjoy this year with mother." She looked pity for me. I didn't want her to be sad, so I did like usual.
" Of course with mount of pancakes! Do you want some? If you made some pancakes at your home, don't forget to share with me! " I giggled. Her smile bloomed sweetly.
"You're so childish, Shinji-chan. I couldn't believe that you're already seventeen."
" Hey, no talking about age, okay? " I whined cutely. She laughed heartily. While Toki was accompanying Celcia to look around the shop along the road, I tried to put some conversation with Natsuki.
" You are better smiling. You don't have to be sad for me, ne? "
She looked at me doubtfully, and then she stuck out her tongue at me jokingly. " Who is worried? I don't care about you. "
I was turning my back on her to see Celcia and Toki behind when I replied her mean answer.
" You'll see.."
" Shinji-chan? "
I ignored her and tried to call them both. It took an effort from Toki to take Celcia away from the shop case. I sweat dropped. Well, there were no such things in Heaven, though they never remembered the memories of us as an Angel. It was only me, who carried the memories through the wheel of reincarnation. I didn't mind at all. Maybe it was the best. Three of them had a worse ordeal of past to come through in this time of life.
" You know, Natsuki-chan. My classmate tells me that thirteen is the worst age of your entire life. I wonder if it is true.." Celcia tried to scare Natsuki, whose age was thirteen now. She was the youngest from all of us.
" How about you, Celcia-chan, when you are thirteen? " She smirked mockingly. " I don't afraid for something silly like that. "
" I almost burned my hand when I had a cooking lesson. " Natsuki shuddered a bit. I didn't know whether it was because of the cold air or fear.
" I had a bad luck when I was thirteen. I fell from school stairs and broke my leg." Toki admitted his worse experience to her. Her expression changed completely. Her face was almost as pale as the falling snow.
Then she gazed at me worriedly. I thought for a moment. Then something popped out inside my childish mind.
" Well, I also have bad days on thirteen that still goes until now. "
Her face looked so stern and anxious. I almost laughed but I shouldn't, because my plan hadn't finished.
" I am always got slapped, kicked, rejected, punched, hurt and bla bla bla by Natsuki-chan that keeps going until now. " I laughed freely that was followed by Toki and Celcia-chan.
" I'm serious, SHINJI no BAKA!!! " She ran with anger and looked a kid wandered in the middle of street.
" Watch out!! " She screamed when she saw the changing color of the streetlamp. The green was stained with the red one, the color of blood. The high-speed car came toward the young boy. Natsuki's kind heart couldn't let the infant to get hit and died that young. She jumped to protect the boy by risking her life.
Three of us shouted for her name and tried to save her. Toki and Celcia were too far behind. I didn't wait another second to think. I didn't care who I should help. I tried to cover them.
" NATSUKIIIII!!!! "
I pushed them out of the road while the people were screaming. On the next moment, I fell to the cold darkness.
Change the light, please! (Natsuki's POV )
I looked in fear from the side of the road while the boy in my embrace wailed loudly. I couldn't move my feet. My trickle of tears fell like a stream. My shaking hands placed in front of my pink lips. I couldn't believe my sight. I just didn't want to believe.
" Shin...ji? Shinji?! SHINJI!? "
I tried to move and reach him. I hugged his bloody body. His purple favorite sweater was stained with the deep ruby paint. His beautiful sparkling eyes were closed tightly. I just wanted to watch him awake and smiled foolishly, saying 'just joking'.
//Please, please open your eyes. Please say something. Please look at me fondly. Please...//
My chest hurt so much that I couldn't endure. It must be a dream. A nightmare I should wake up from it soon to watch him waiting for me in living room. Toki and Celcia sat beside him that followed by several people. They tried to help while one of them was calling for ambulance.
My brain went numb. It wasn't because of the freezing weather, but the bad luck that I had on my thirteen. My eyes snapped opened when the truth struck me. I had my bad day and he should exchange that with his life. It was my fault. Stupid Shinji, why you saved me while you can't save your own life?!
I couldn't feel the tap on my shoulder; I just couldn't accept the reality. The red color was all I could see. His blood that drew from him kept flowing like a bloody lake. Toki's voice was heard in distance, too far for me to return, too scary for me to go back.
" Natsuki-chan, please hang on! Don't accuse yourself on this! He should be fine! Natsuki-chan!! "
" Forget it, Toki. We should help Shinji-chan first. If he could be saved, Natsuki would regain herself. "
" Ah. you're right. " Toki shook his head slightly.
* Natsuki-chan..do you love him that much? *
I was waiting patiently in front of Emergency Room for the result with Toki and Celcia at my side. If the doctor came out and shook his head, I would be better died. I would commit suicide for something that I couldn't stand of.
I could hear the fast tapping steps toward us. I trembled so hard for killing Aunt Miyako's only son. I felt regret for my sin. As I expected, I saw two women with their husband followed behind them with worried face.
" Natsuki-chan..what has happened here? " Mother asked me with care. My tears were dried until there was nothing left. The streak of tears was still I my face though. I hurriedly looked for her embrace and muffled her. Father's sapphire eyes scanned the whole me to find any possible wound. He sighed with relief when he found none.
" What has happened to Shinji? How is my son? " Miyako cried in pain. Yamato shed a single drop of tear secretly and hid his face in shadow. Mother and Father didn't dare to answer.
" I'm sorry, Aunt Miyako..He saved my life and.." the water inside my body was drained. If there were still some, they would spill out again from my red eyes.
She looked at me painfully. " I would like to hate you, Natsuki-chan, but I couldn't. It is not really your fault. It was his careless. I'm sorry to make you worried."
" No, Aunt Miyako-san! It is my fault! You can accuse me! You can hate me! Please.." I buried my face in my hand. It was too painful to see her. Her amethyst hair was so similar with Shinji's. I was too pine for his possible departure to faraway land.
" Natsuki-chan, you must be tired. Go home, you still have your class tomorrow. The exam is also going to come, right? "
" But I want to be with him. "
" Natsuki-chan. Go home with your friends." Mother admonished me as her agreement with Aunt Miyako. " We'll stay vigil in your place. Now, go home. "
I didn't move when Toki and Celcia tried to convince me to go home. I couldn't leave my responsibility like this. I just couldn't...I was afraid that he would leave me if I wasn't here.
" Please, at least until I got the result of this surgery.."
All of them sighed in defeat. They couldn't change my decision at all. I sat back on the long bench and Mother accompanied me at my side. She put her soft hand on my shoulder to console me. Father and Uncle Yamato went to take care the administration. Toki and Celcia went home, as their parents were so discipline about their night hour.
Aunt Miyako just stared outside the window, watching the endless snow. She swept the misty glass window to see the view clearer. But I knew that she didn't see the beautiful glittering night with lightened lamps. Her mind wandered somewhere about someone inside 'that' room. She was pretending to be strong, but actually she wasn't. That was what my mother told me once.
The long hours passed like centuries. After a long patient and fear, the light of Emergency Room was off. The doctor came out to give out the result. I prayed along my waiting for his safety. If he died, then I...
Shinji-chan always cheered for me, even in his blue days. I couldn't lose him. I didn't want to lose him. So, please..
I had planned this Christmas party with my friends and him. I didn't want it to be ruined. And especially, I hadn't said sorry to him.
Aunt Miyako ran to the doctor and stuttered, demanding the condition of her son. The doctor hadn't said anything that Aunt Miyako was too panicked. She grabbed the collar of the doctor's white coat. Mother ran after her to calm her temper.
" Miyako! He couldn't speak if you choke him like that. He must be fine! You know him well! He is too cheerful and healthy to die easily!"
Miyako loosened her hand and waited for reply. " I'm sorry. How is he? "
The doctor tidied his collar and coughed a bit. We were so frustrated to wait his answer and fool act. I could hear my heartbeat that echoed loudly as if it could be heard a whole people in this hospital.
The doctor smiled merely. " He is just fine. He has a strong will to live that helps us very much. Congratulation. He could go home after a week. "
Mother and Aunt Miyako burst into tears. They hugged each other. I was so happy and so stunned that I didn't know how long I had stayed there. Mother asked me with happy tune.
" Are you fine, Natsuki? "
I spread my hand and cried inside her embrace. I just felt a heavy burden had been lifted. I just felt like flying.
" Shinji-chan is alright, right? Ne, okaa-san (mother)? " I searched for assurance in her eyes. She smiled fascinatingly. " Of course, dear. What makes you to think of him that he couldn't pass his death? "
Soon Chiaki and Yamato joined us and smiled pleasantly.
//Thank you and also...I'm sorry, Shinji-chan..//
( Access: Hey, where is the light spot?! ) Access'POV
I didn't know how long I had stayed unconscious. It was just felt like a long time. When I woke up, I could hear the chirping bird. The sun was too bright that made me squinted my eyes. I saw the unfamiliar ceiling and my mother's sleeping form beside me. Father was also in this room, sleeping while sitting in the corner.
I soon realized that I was in Hospital Nagoya, the place where Chiaki worked also one of his father's properties. I tried to remember what had happened. Then I could see the image of a high-speed green car.
* Is that so..? No wonder I am here. *
Then I realized of something. How were Natsuki-chan and the boy that I tried to save? I was so eager to sit on my white sheet bed even with the pain that pierced me mercilessly. Miyako woke up suddenly and rubbed her sleepy eyes.
" Shinji? " Her eyes widened with surprise and happiness.
" Shinji!! You're okay!! Thanks God! " She screamed franticly and hugged me tightly as if I would go somewhere. Her loud voice woke Yamato also. He smiled proudly and watched me from far.
" Mother, you hug me too tight as if I would leave you. I can't breath. "
She freed me and tears wetted my bed. Her face changed into the grimace one. I was so afraid and thought of what I had done. Well, that morning I stole some pancakes again from kitchen that should be reserved on evening. And I broke her favorite plate and five China ceramic teacups. I also spilled some milk on the table before I left to school. And I also forgot to kiss her cheek when I was going to school.
While I was thinking of my mistakes that morning, she scolded me halfheartedly. I sweat dropped.
" YES! I thought that you would leave us forever, baka! You almost die! " Then she hugged me again. " Please don't do this again. Promise me to be more careful." Her voice grew weaker.
I hugged her back. " Sure, mom. Sure.."
Then Father hugged me and cried in front of mother and me. They cried together with rejoice. I smiled to myself. There was so much person that loved me. Then I laughed heartily.
" I am just thinking that you are angry with me, mom, because of your broken plate and cups! "
Then she stopped crying and stared me tediously but menacingly.
" So it was you who broke my PLATE?! It is from Germany! You little &$^#&*@ !!!!! "
Then she frowned for a while. " Could it be..? It could be...Shinji. Admit it. Did you eat the pancakes inside the refrigerator? "
"........Yes. "
Her tension aura raised rapidly that scared me enough. Father took a step back, taking a distance from Miyako.
" And are you the one who spilled the milk on the kitchen floor?!!!!"
I really didn't want answer this. I'm gonna die just after I surpassed my death. She was even more dangerous than that accident.
"........Yes. "
" SHINJIIII!!!! "
I raised my hand over my head, trying to protect me from her punch. " I'm sorry!! I would be more careful next time, mother!! "
I was waiting for the painful blow to come but it never came. I opened one of my eyes to peek. She smiled. "You are so lucky that you are wounded. If you weren't, I would have kicked you out of this room. "
I sweat dropped and laughed foolishly. Father sighed with relief for able to retreat from Miyako's anger.
" Ah, mother. What day is today? "
" Today is Wednesday, 24th December. Why? "
" MY EXAM!! "
" Ehhh?! Is it today? Shouldn't it be started tomorrow? "
I slumped on my bed disappointingly. I didn't want to fail the exam. It was over by today. I hated if I should do my class over again. It was so tiring. And tomorrow was also Christmas, but I couldn't spend that romantic day with Finn-chan...
Suddenly the doorknob was opened and I heard Toki's voice. " Don't worry. Uncle Chiaki has done something about that. You would take the exam later after you go out of this Hospital. "
" Toki! Celcia! " I saw the beauty lady stood there with her sad face. " Natsuki..."
She didn't look at me. She just shunned my gaze and hid herself behind her friends.
" Hehe..thanks for coming. How is the exam? " I laughed gleefully, while taking the white lily from Celcia's hand.
" When do you wake up? " Natsuki's voice was heard with lot of strain.
" Just now. I'm fine now! "
She stood beside my bed and took a chair to sit. Toki and Celcia were doing the same things when she finally opened her mouth.
" Shinji-chan,....anou...I just want to tell you that.."
" Hmm? Just speak. "
".............."
" I couldn't understand if you keep quiet. "
" ............."
" Natsuki-chan..." I sighed with tiredness, waiting for her words.
Before I could react, her face came near to mine. For my surprise, she kissed me on the lips gently. I was too shock to move. It just happened very fast. Miyako, Toki and Yamato were looked so pale while Celcia giggled at Finn and me.
Her kiss was sweeter than honey on he top of pancakes. Actually Natsuki nor Finn ever kissed me on the first place. This was the first time she kissed me by her own and this probably the first kiss for Natsuki and Shinji.
Natsuki parted our lips and blushed. I unconsciously touched my wet lips that once met her delicate ones.
" That is what I am going to tell and also.. I'm sorry."
I moved her tangled silk emerald hair from her face and touched her chin. Gracefully I pulled her face closer and kissed her back. Without thinking of other presence in this room, I replied to her.
" And that is how I feel all time. "
Miyako didn't get angry about that 'kiss'. She just told me not to make Natsuki cried and left us alone. Of course, I didn't want to see her tears also. Father just sighed like usual and was busy with his cellular phone for his cancelled work. Toki was somewhere out of my room with Celcia. Probably Celcia would console him.
Maron and Chiaki were coming in just when Miyako were going to go out to have breakfast. Looking their daughter blushed beside me; Maron smiled and pointed her thumb. I replied her back when Chiaki sweat dropped.
She looked at me and spoke inaudibly.
* Finally you could be together,ne? Access Time? *
// You would never know, Jeanne.//
Then we left together alone, watching the falling snow of Christmas together. Miracles mostly happened during Christmas. Maybe that was true.
Maron and Chiaki were embracing each other on the garden of Nagoya's hospital, watching the white pure view of keen winter. They sat side by side under the tree that protected them from cold snowball.
Miyako and Yamato were having breakfast in the canteen the first time in Christmas after their marriage. Toki and Celcia were somewhere to leave us alone (Celcia pushed Toki away out of the room).
" Ne, Natsuki-chan. "
" Hmm? "
" What is your answer? "
" What? "
" My proposal to you when I was four. "
" .........(blushing ^^) ..... ..Shinji no Baka. "
" SHINJII!! I said 'don't spill your juice on your bed' five minutes ago and you did it!! "
" I'm sorry, okaa-san! I couldn't drink it while lying like this!! And I'm thirsty!"
" Since when my father's hospital became a place to have party?" Chiaki sweat dropped.
" Don't worry. Isn't it fun? Shinji can't go home yet. And Night of Christmas was tonight. We can't let it passes without celebration. " Maron laughed and kissed Chiaki on his cheek. He sighed in defeat.
" Maybe we are celebrating for a new pair..." He looked at his daughter, the reincarnation of Fin lovingly.
Toki was eating his cake lazily while Celcia chatted happily with Natsuki-chan.
* No matter how much I have through the reincarnation, I still lose to him. I lose to Access and Shinji. ( sigh )....Finn..*
Then he took another bite of his cake.
" Ahh, Yes! Yes! I'm sorry for delaying the meeting. Yes..but I.."
Then the cellular phone was taken from Yamato's hand. " This is an important day! Just leave your work for today, could you? " Looking Miyako's amethyst eyes, he took his cellular phone and turn it off. He hugged Miyako and joined the party.
I was lying on the bed when I heard a knock on the door. I had been waiting for someone to come. I tried to sit up but the pain stopped me from doing so. Natsuki came to my side and scolded me.
" You should get rest, you know! You're really stupid. I'll look it for you. "
" Thank you. "
She walked toward the door and watched the visitor. She frowned for a while that made Maron worried. Then she came in with a wreath of red roses. Maron looked confused. I smiled cutely.
" Ne, do you like my gift? "
She burst into tears and held the roses tightly.
" Yes.."
Then I wept the tears on her face and kissed her silk lips. Outside of the window, the winter night were furnished by thousand diamonds of sparkling stars. In Heaven, Kami-sama looked with pleased.
* Be more careful with your life now. It is not your time yet to return to me, the Black Angel, Access Time. *
OWARI!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yay! It is the first fic that is finished! I'm kinda pushing the story into the short one, ne? Review please! I hope some other better idea would come to me soon.
A/N : I write another KKJ and I would like to write the short one either. I hope..This is mostly Access's POV! I love him so muuuuuccchhh!! He has a strong belief on someone. He is also cheerful most KKJ story. I think.
Rose of Christmas Wreath
By Irisgem
The heaps of white snow fell slowly, veiled the road and surface of Earth. This blessing from Kami-sama was so pretty, still so cold. It was like her. Her turquoise glassy eyes drowned me to the wide ocean of winter. The gentle wind ruffled her emerald hair gleefully. The tangled hair in front of her face was so fascinating that made me fell in love to her even more.
It was almost the day of White Christmas, the day of birth of Jesus. It was a holiday with love for your beloved one, either your family or your friends. I had delivered my postcard for Natsuki-chan, though it wasn't important. She lived neighborhood with me. But I just wanted to give her as a surprise.
With a purple umbrella, my favorite color, was grabbed in my left hand, I stood up patiently in front of a big gate school. This raining snow made my hand cold whether I was using my gloves made by soft wool. I was waiting for her to come out from her class, just like we always did. Today I had my lessons over earlier than her, so I stood here for her. We didn't walk together (Though I would prefer to walk with her alone).
The keen wind blow cruelly, playing my amethyst long waist hair. I was staring the white blanket of this season when I heard an angelic sweet voice called out my name.
" Shinji-chan! Gomen! My teacher delayed our time to go out! "
She clapped her hand in front of her face, asking for pardon. I smiled gently, when two other young teens came toward us. Still I could see a red tint on her cheek.
" Don't mind it. They ware also late either. " My hand raised and beckoned for them. They panted heavily and let some misty air out of their breath.
" This cold weather makes me hard to run and tires me easily. " Toki grumbled half-heartedly. Celcia didn't talk anything. She tried to catch up her breath. Natsuki lowered her head and talked to them.
" Are you both okay? "
Toki didn't wait another second to take his opportunity. I hated when he did that. He grabbed Natsuki's hands into his and talked sweet and bla bla bla. I didn't stay there while my princess was taken. I put my hand between them and took Natsuki from him.
" Come on, we should go home now. "
Natsuki got confused while Celcia giggled with my act and grumbling Toki. We enjoyed this walk together by talking and gossiping. Sometimes the girls stopped to see the shop case during the way home.
" Shinji-chan, what would you have for Christmas? " Natsuki's voice surprised me so much as I was looking the snow and livid sky up there. I missed the feeling to fly, but I was also happy to be human. In this form, then I could be at Natsuki's side and protect her. I had promised to myself. This time I would protect her no matter what. I turned my face to her and looked at her.
" Well, Father has a work that he couldn't leave behind. I thought I would enjoy this year with mother." She looked pity for me. I didn't want her to be sad, so I did like usual.
" Of course with mount of pancakes! Do you want some? If you made some pancakes at your home, don't forget to share with me! " I giggled. Her smile bloomed sweetly.
"You're so childish, Shinji-chan. I couldn't believe that you're already seventeen."
" Hey, no talking about age, okay? " I whined cutely. She laughed heartily. While Toki was accompanying Celcia to look around the shop along the road, I tried to put some conversation with Natsuki.
" You are better smiling. You don't have to be sad for me, ne? "
She looked at me doubtfully, and then she stuck out her tongue at me jokingly. " Who is worried? I don't care about you. "
I was turning my back on her to see Celcia and Toki behind when I replied her mean answer.
" You'll see.."
" Shinji-chan? "
I ignored her and tried to call them both. It took an effort from Toki to take Celcia away from the shop case. I sweat dropped. Well, there were no such things in Heaven, though they never remembered the memories of us as an Angel. It was only me, who carried the memories through the wheel of reincarnation. I didn't mind at all. Maybe it was the best. Three of them had a worse ordeal of past to come through in this time of life.
" You know, Natsuki-chan. My classmate tells me that thirteen is the worst age of your entire life. I wonder if it is true.." Celcia tried to scare Natsuki, whose age was thirteen now. She was the youngest from all of us.
" How about you, Celcia-chan, when you are thirteen? " She smirked mockingly. " I don't afraid for something silly like that. "
" I almost burned my hand when I had a cooking lesson. " Natsuki shuddered a bit. I didn't know whether it was because of the cold air or fear.
" I had a bad luck when I was thirteen. I fell from school stairs and broke my leg." Toki admitted his worse experience to her. Her expression changed completely. Her face was almost as pale as the falling snow.
Then she gazed at me worriedly. I thought for a moment. Then something popped out inside my childish mind.
" Well, I also have bad days on thirteen that still goes until now. "
Her face looked so stern and anxious. I almost laughed but I shouldn't, because my plan hadn't finished.
" I am always got slapped, kicked, rejected, punched, hurt and bla bla bla by Natsuki-chan that keeps going until now. " I laughed freely that was followed by Toki and Celcia-chan.
" I'm serious, SHINJI no BAKA!!! " She ran with anger and looked a kid wandered in the middle of street.
" Watch out!! " She screamed when she saw the changing color of the streetlamp. The green was stained with the red one, the color of blood. The high-speed car came toward the young boy. Natsuki's kind heart couldn't let the infant to get hit and died that young. She jumped to protect the boy by risking her life.
Three of us shouted for her name and tried to save her. Toki and Celcia were too far behind. I didn't wait another second to think. I didn't care who I should help. I tried to cover them.
" NATSUKIIIII!!!! "
I pushed them out of the road while the people were screaming. On the next moment, I fell to the cold darkness.
Change the light, please! (Natsuki's POV )
I looked in fear from the side of the road while the boy in my embrace wailed loudly. I couldn't move my feet. My trickle of tears fell like a stream. My shaking hands placed in front of my pink lips. I couldn't believe my sight. I just didn't want to believe.
" Shin...ji? Shinji?! SHINJI!? "
I tried to move and reach him. I hugged his bloody body. His purple favorite sweater was stained with the deep ruby paint. His beautiful sparkling eyes were closed tightly. I just wanted to watch him awake and smiled foolishly, saying 'just joking'.
//Please, please open your eyes. Please say something. Please look at me fondly. Please...//
My chest hurt so much that I couldn't endure. It must be a dream. A nightmare I should wake up from it soon to watch him waiting for me in living room. Toki and Celcia sat beside him that followed by several people. They tried to help while one of them was calling for ambulance.
My brain went numb. It wasn't because of the freezing weather, but the bad luck that I had on my thirteen. My eyes snapped opened when the truth struck me. I had my bad day and he should exchange that with his life. It was my fault. Stupid Shinji, why you saved me while you can't save your own life?!
I couldn't feel the tap on my shoulder; I just couldn't accept the reality. The red color was all I could see. His blood that drew from him kept flowing like a bloody lake. Toki's voice was heard in distance, too far for me to return, too scary for me to go back.
" Natsuki-chan, please hang on! Don't accuse yourself on this! He should be fine! Natsuki-chan!! "
" Forget it, Toki. We should help Shinji-chan first. If he could be saved, Natsuki would regain herself. "
" Ah. you're right. " Toki shook his head slightly.
* Natsuki-chan..do you love him that much? *
I was waiting patiently in front of Emergency Room for the result with Toki and Celcia at my side. If the doctor came out and shook his head, I would be better died. I would commit suicide for something that I couldn't stand of.
I could hear the fast tapping steps toward us. I trembled so hard for killing Aunt Miyako's only son. I felt regret for my sin. As I expected, I saw two women with their husband followed behind them with worried face.
" Natsuki-chan..what has happened here? " Mother asked me with care. My tears were dried until there was nothing left. The streak of tears was still I my face though. I hurriedly looked for her embrace and muffled her. Father's sapphire eyes scanned the whole me to find any possible wound. He sighed with relief when he found none.
" What has happened to Shinji? How is my son? " Miyako cried in pain. Yamato shed a single drop of tear secretly and hid his face in shadow. Mother and Father didn't dare to answer.
" I'm sorry, Aunt Miyako..He saved my life and.." the water inside my body was drained. If there were still some, they would spill out again from my red eyes.
She looked at me painfully. " I would like to hate you, Natsuki-chan, but I couldn't. It is not really your fault. It was his careless. I'm sorry to make you worried."
" No, Aunt Miyako-san! It is my fault! You can accuse me! You can hate me! Please.." I buried my face in my hand. It was too painful to see her. Her amethyst hair was so similar with Shinji's. I was too pine for his possible departure to faraway land.
" Natsuki-chan, you must be tired. Go home, you still have your class tomorrow. The exam is also going to come, right? "
" But I want to be with him. "
" Natsuki-chan. Go home with your friends." Mother admonished me as her agreement with Aunt Miyako. " We'll stay vigil in your place. Now, go home. "
I didn't move when Toki and Celcia tried to convince me to go home. I couldn't leave my responsibility like this. I just couldn't...I was afraid that he would leave me if I wasn't here.
" Please, at least until I got the result of this surgery.."
All of them sighed in defeat. They couldn't change my decision at all. I sat back on the long bench and Mother accompanied me at my side. She put her soft hand on my shoulder to console me. Father and Uncle Yamato went to take care the administration. Toki and Celcia went home, as their parents were so discipline about their night hour.
Aunt Miyako just stared outside the window, watching the endless snow. She swept the misty glass window to see the view clearer. But I knew that she didn't see the beautiful glittering night with lightened lamps. Her mind wandered somewhere about someone inside 'that' room. She was pretending to be strong, but actually she wasn't. That was what my mother told me once.
The long hours passed like centuries. After a long patient and fear, the light of Emergency Room was off. The doctor came out to give out the result. I prayed along my waiting for his safety. If he died, then I...
Shinji-chan always cheered for me, even in his blue days. I couldn't lose him. I didn't want to lose him. So, please..
I had planned this Christmas party with my friends and him. I didn't want it to be ruined. And especially, I hadn't said sorry to him.
Aunt Miyako ran to the doctor and stuttered, demanding the condition of her son. The doctor hadn't said anything that Aunt Miyako was too panicked. She grabbed the collar of the doctor's white coat. Mother ran after her to calm her temper.
" Miyako! He couldn't speak if you choke him like that. He must be fine! You know him well! He is too cheerful and healthy to die easily!"
Miyako loosened her hand and waited for reply. " I'm sorry. How is he? "
The doctor tidied his collar and coughed a bit. We were so frustrated to wait his answer and fool act. I could hear my heartbeat that echoed loudly as if it could be heard a whole people in this hospital.
The doctor smiled merely. " He is just fine. He has a strong will to live that helps us very much. Congratulation. He could go home after a week. "
Mother and Aunt Miyako burst into tears. They hugged each other. I was so happy and so stunned that I didn't know how long I had stayed there. Mother asked me with happy tune.
" Are you fine, Natsuki? "
I spread my hand and cried inside her embrace. I just felt a heavy burden had been lifted. I just felt like flying.
" Shinji-chan is alright, right? Ne, okaa-san (mother)? " I searched for assurance in her eyes. She smiled fascinatingly. " Of course, dear. What makes you to think of him that he couldn't pass his death? "
Soon Chiaki and Yamato joined us and smiled pleasantly.
//Thank you and also...I'm sorry, Shinji-chan..//
( Access: Hey, where is the light spot?! ) Access'POV
I didn't know how long I had stayed unconscious. It was just felt like a long time. When I woke up, I could hear the chirping bird. The sun was too bright that made me squinted my eyes. I saw the unfamiliar ceiling and my mother's sleeping form beside me. Father was also in this room, sleeping while sitting in the corner.
I soon realized that I was in Hospital Nagoya, the place where Chiaki worked also one of his father's properties. I tried to remember what had happened. Then I could see the image of a high-speed green car.
* Is that so..? No wonder I am here. *
Then I realized of something. How were Natsuki-chan and the boy that I tried to save? I was so eager to sit on my white sheet bed even with the pain that pierced me mercilessly. Miyako woke up suddenly and rubbed her sleepy eyes.
" Shinji? " Her eyes widened with surprise and happiness.
" Shinji!! You're okay!! Thanks God! " She screamed franticly and hugged me tightly as if I would go somewhere. Her loud voice woke Yamato also. He smiled proudly and watched me from far.
" Mother, you hug me too tight as if I would leave you. I can't breath. "
She freed me and tears wetted my bed. Her face changed into the grimace one. I was so afraid and thought of what I had done. Well, that morning I stole some pancakes again from kitchen that should be reserved on evening. And I broke her favorite plate and five China ceramic teacups. I also spilled some milk on the table before I left to school. And I also forgot to kiss her cheek when I was going to school.
While I was thinking of my mistakes that morning, she scolded me halfheartedly. I sweat dropped.
" YES! I thought that you would leave us forever, baka! You almost die! " Then she hugged me again. " Please don't do this again. Promise me to be more careful." Her voice grew weaker.
I hugged her back. " Sure, mom. Sure.."
Then Father hugged me and cried in front of mother and me. They cried together with rejoice. I smiled to myself. There was so much person that loved me. Then I laughed heartily.
" I am just thinking that you are angry with me, mom, because of your broken plate and cups! "
Then she stopped crying and stared me tediously but menacingly.
" So it was you who broke my PLATE?! It is from Germany! You little &$^#&*@ !!!!! "
Then she frowned for a while. " Could it be..? It could be...Shinji. Admit it. Did you eat the pancakes inside the refrigerator? "
"........Yes. "
Her tension aura raised rapidly that scared me enough. Father took a step back, taking a distance from Miyako.
" And are you the one who spilled the milk on the kitchen floor?!!!!"
I really didn't want answer this. I'm gonna die just after I surpassed my death. She was even more dangerous than that accident.
"........Yes. "
" SHINJIIII!!!! "
I raised my hand over my head, trying to protect me from her punch. " I'm sorry!! I would be more careful next time, mother!! "
I was waiting for the painful blow to come but it never came. I opened one of my eyes to peek. She smiled. "You are so lucky that you are wounded. If you weren't, I would have kicked you out of this room. "
I sweat dropped and laughed foolishly. Father sighed with relief for able to retreat from Miyako's anger.
" Ah, mother. What day is today? "
" Today is Wednesday, 24th December. Why? "
" MY EXAM!! "
" Ehhh?! Is it today? Shouldn't it be started tomorrow? "
I slumped on my bed disappointingly. I didn't want to fail the exam. It was over by today. I hated if I should do my class over again. It was so tiring. And tomorrow was also Christmas, but I couldn't spend that romantic day with Finn-chan...
Suddenly the doorknob was opened and I heard Toki's voice. " Don't worry. Uncle Chiaki has done something about that. You would take the exam later after you go out of this Hospital. "
" Toki! Celcia! " I saw the beauty lady stood there with her sad face. " Natsuki..."
She didn't look at me. She just shunned my gaze and hid herself behind her friends.
" Hehe..thanks for coming. How is the exam? " I laughed gleefully, while taking the white lily from Celcia's hand.
" When do you wake up? " Natsuki's voice was heard with lot of strain.
" Just now. I'm fine now! "
She stood beside my bed and took a chair to sit. Toki and Celcia were doing the same things when she finally opened her mouth.
" Shinji-chan,....anou...I just want to tell you that.."
" Hmm? Just speak. "
".............."
" I couldn't understand if you keep quiet. "
" ............."
" Natsuki-chan..." I sighed with tiredness, waiting for her words.
Before I could react, her face came near to mine. For my surprise, she kissed me on the lips gently. I was too shock to move. It just happened very fast. Miyako, Toki and Yamato were looked so pale while Celcia giggled at Finn and me.
Her kiss was sweeter than honey on he top of pancakes. Actually Natsuki nor Finn ever kissed me on the first place. This was the first time she kissed me by her own and this probably the first kiss for Natsuki and Shinji.
Natsuki parted our lips and blushed. I unconsciously touched my wet lips that once met her delicate ones.
" That is what I am going to tell and also.. I'm sorry."
I moved her tangled silk emerald hair from her face and touched her chin. Gracefully I pulled her face closer and kissed her back. Without thinking of other presence in this room, I replied to her.
" And that is how I feel all time. "
Miyako didn't get angry about that 'kiss'. She just told me not to make Natsuki cried and left us alone. Of course, I didn't want to see her tears also. Father just sighed like usual and was busy with his cellular phone for his cancelled work. Toki was somewhere out of my room with Celcia. Probably Celcia would console him.
Maron and Chiaki were coming in just when Miyako were going to go out to have breakfast. Looking their daughter blushed beside me; Maron smiled and pointed her thumb. I replied her back when Chiaki sweat dropped.
She looked at me and spoke inaudibly.
* Finally you could be together,ne? Access Time? *
// You would never know, Jeanne.//
Then we left together alone, watching the falling snow of Christmas together. Miracles mostly happened during Christmas. Maybe that was true.
Maron and Chiaki were embracing each other on the garden of Nagoya's hospital, watching the white pure view of keen winter. They sat side by side under the tree that protected them from cold snowball.
Miyako and Yamato were having breakfast in the canteen the first time in Christmas after their marriage. Toki and Celcia were somewhere to leave us alone (Celcia pushed Toki away out of the room).
" Ne, Natsuki-chan. "
" Hmm? "
" What is your answer? "
" What? "
" My proposal to you when I was four. "
" .........(blushing ^^) ..... ..Shinji no Baka. "
" SHINJII!! I said 'don't spill your juice on your bed' five minutes ago and you did it!! "
" I'm sorry, okaa-san! I couldn't drink it while lying like this!! And I'm thirsty!"
" Since when my father's hospital became a place to have party?" Chiaki sweat dropped.
" Don't worry. Isn't it fun? Shinji can't go home yet. And Night of Christmas was tonight. We can't let it passes without celebration. " Maron laughed and kissed Chiaki on his cheek. He sighed in defeat.
" Maybe we are celebrating for a new pair..." He looked at his daughter, the reincarnation of Fin lovingly.
Toki was eating his cake lazily while Celcia chatted happily with Natsuki-chan.
* No matter how much I have through the reincarnation, I still lose to him. I lose to Access and Shinji. ( sigh )....Finn..*
Then he took another bite of his cake.
" Ahh, Yes! Yes! I'm sorry for delaying the meeting. Yes..but I.."
Then the cellular phone was taken from Yamato's hand. " This is an important day! Just leave your work for today, could you? " Looking Miyako's amethyst eyes, he took his cellular phone and turn it off. He hugged Miyako and joined the party.
I was lying on the bed when I heard a knock on the door. I had been waiting for someone to come. I tried to sit up but the pain stopped me from doing so. Natsuki came to my side and scolded me.
" You should get rest, you know! You're really stupid. I'll look it for you. "
" Thank you. "
She walked toward the door and watched the visitor. She frowned for a while that made Maron worried. Then she came in with a wreath of red roses. Maron looked confused. I smiled cutely.
" Ne, do you like my gift? "
She burst into tears and held the roses tightly.
" Yes.."
Then I wept the tears on her face and kissed her silk lips. Outside of the window, the winter night were furnished by thousand diamonds of sparkling stars. In Heaven, Kami-sama looked with pleased.
* Be more careful with your life now. It is not your time yet to return to me, the Black Angel, Access Time. *
OWARI!!
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Yay! It is the first fic that is finished! I'm kinda pushing the story into the short one, ne? Review please! I hope some other better idea would come to me soon.
